Top Ten Reasons Why Ozzie Guillen is Good for the World Series
With the World Series officially getting underway tonight, I started thinking about how I could convince you to sit down and watch the Phillies and Yankees take part in the Fall Classic.
Alex Rodriguez going from goat to great? Back-to-back championships for the Phils? The battle between C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee?
Nope, still not strong enough to pull the casual Chicago baseball fan into this one. But then I remembered Fox announced that Ozzie Guillen would be in the booth to do pre-and post-game commentary and immediately rejoiced. I give you the Top Ten Reasons Why Ozzie Guillen is Good for the World Series.
10. Fundraising
You and I both know the government could use a few extra bucks these days. That's why you'll probably find Barack Obama glued to the tube hoping Ozzie slips up so he can unleash the FCC collection hounds.
9. Chicago Flavor
As ESPN's transformation into a full on New York news machine nears completion, we can at least take solace in the fact that Ozzie will be representing the city on baseball's biggest stage.
8. Street Cred
Considering Joe Buck and Tim McCarver's swagger is nowhere near a hundred thousand trillion, Guillen instantly gives the World Series some street cred valid in all fifty states.
7. Future Opportunities
How is it we don't have pay per view with Guillen and Jim Leyland sitting at a bar watching the game and doing commentary?
Leyland would be sucking down heaters like a champ while Ozzie mumbles incoherently about blow up dolls and small ball.
6. Knowledge
Guillen's got a history against a lot of these guys and don't think for a second he'll hesitate to share his thoughts on their strengths and weaknesses.
Hearing what he'll say about Nick Swisher is must see T.V. at its finest.
5. Filibuster
Thanks to Major League Baseball's insistence on playing baseball in its natural wintry elements, there's plenty of opportunities for weather delays.
Enter Ozzie.
What better way to kill time than giving Guillen a controversial topic and letting him speak his mind?
4. Honesty
As we speak, the Fox broadcast booth is scouring the thesaurus to find any adjective they can use to blow some extra smoke towards Phillies and Yankees players.
But if there's one thing Ozzie Guillen does not do, it's blow smoke in anyone's direction. That is, unless you're the Minnesota Twins. That man loves him some piranhas.
3. Unintentional Comedy
All tirades aside, Ozzie's ability to butcher a name is second only to the late great Harry Caray. You can count on at least a few gems before it's all said and done.
2. The Expected
It's obvious we're all hoping to see a tailor made expletive laced tirade from Ozzie at some point in this series. But we'll need something to tick him off, so I'm starting a collection plate to pay off Alex Rodriguez in the hopes that he'll question Ozzie's manhood on air.
Get your popcorn ready.
1. The Barkley Factor
While I don't think Fox is hoping Guillen will offer to have someone's name
tattooed on their ass like Chuck, it doesn't hurt the two share so many similarities. Inside the NBA on TNT is arguably the best pregame show in sports, thanks in large part to Barkley operating without much of a filter.
It's obvious Fox is trying to do the same and we applaud them for it.
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5 Comments
Alligator Derski said:
Great list and I can't wait to hear Ozzie's commentary on Swish.
southsider said:
Let's see, who's the worst speaker we can think of? Ozzie. He starts talking and I change the channel. Can't understand half of what he's saying. Bad move.
halloweenbaby said:
I agree with southsider whole-heartedly. I always turn him off too- Can barely understand him.
halloweenbaby said:
When I first heard Ozzie was going to be a commentator I thought it was a pass-on joke. I called everyone I knew to confirm it. They had heard it too but didn't believe it. Then I heard it was to up the Latino interest in the games. If the number of Latinos in the games doesn't generate interest then this ploy won't. I usually don't understand a word the man says; so I will watch the game but will switch channels and not waste my time watching him. Just one more nail in the everybody's running down crazy road coffin.
halloweenbaby said:
At least he's only doing the pre and post. I was mistakenly told that he was announcing the game. What a disaster that would have been. I'd have to watch it with the sound off.
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