The Art Of Advice

Advice on Life After Divorce: The Law of Attraction and How to Be Your Top Priority

Guess what? Divorce happens a lot these days, and I really don't think it's a bad thing. If you don't remember this article published last month, then let today's reader question be a friendly and inspiring reminder that everything does happen for a reason. Today, a reader wrote in via Facebook from half-way around the world! Let the super-cool ways of the internet universe unite the world, indeed, so check out Not Looking for Love's inquiry:

Hi Rach,

Now that I am newly divorced my focus has been on looking for a job. Lots of people are telling me, don't worry, you'll find love soon. Though my mood changes, my main concern is in one direction, finding a job. I tell them Amen to love, yet it's not my top priority. I feel so much different from who I was ten years ago, when love came first and before every thing else. So I am asking you, am I normal?

-Not Looking for Love




Dear Not Looking,

Rachel Wolfe_reflected world.jpg

© Rachel Wolfe 2010 The world reflects our world.

My first instinct is to say you're better than normal. Reading your letter really made me smile! I think this approach is a pretty evolved way of handling divorce and fully entering into this new chapter of life. Fully entering into a new situation is completely different than just kinda, sorta being there. A lot of people would call this being "present" and make this ever zen-state sound elusive, but really it's not. It just takes focus and careful intention. You're setting a great example for people by focusing on what your attention is naturally being called to. Many people fight these natural inclinations and end up exhausted, sick and worse off than they were to begin with.

Each individual's response to divorce is going to be different, so there isn't one best answer for this situation. That said, I do think your approach is going to prove more fruitful in the end and here's why. The law of attraction. Simply put, like attracts like. Right down to the molecular level everything is attracted to its mirror or likeness.

This law can work either in a more favorable fashion or a less-than-desirable ways. Picture loosing your job, getting in a car collision, fighting with your partner and then getting food poisoning. Is it fair to say that you brought these situations upon yourself? Maybe not, but if you're feeling negativity, turmoil, fear and anxious inside the law of attraction says these feelings will manifest themselves in an outward fashion.

It's true that strange and difficult situations are going to present themselves no matter how positive we are because our world isn't constructed single handedly; we share that duty with everyone else.

So now, I want you to picture getting a promotion or that position you've been after, hitting all the green lights, enjoying a romantic dinner and desert with a desirable date and indulging in some closed-door festivities. How does that feel? Getting warmer yet? Bet you feel something like a kid with a great report card to show off! The world recognizes how much YOU ROCK! But guess what? These situations will only play out if YOU believe that YOU ROCK! So by you focusing on yourself, making everything feel good with you first, when the time comes to find someone, that person will just pop up! That's why people say it all the time, "You find love when you're not looking," because you're so busy loving yourself and your life, you don't even stop to think that you're drawing more love and enjoyment into your life.

In any situation, it's always a great idea to follow your intuition, instincts or whatever you want to call them. It's advice that we cannot seem to hear enough. Let me reassure you, this is one of those things in life that is a real truth. So keep on following your instincts because I have a good feeling that the world has even better things in store for you!

Looking for more guidance and explanations to the seemingly inexplicable? Write to Rach at: artofadvice@gmail.com or track The AoA down on Facebook.

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