Bringing Back Potty Poems

Let me say right off the bat: I am not condoning bathroom graffiti, nor am I referring to the old "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit" jingle.

I'm merely suggesting we revisit the idea of posting poems, art if you will, in the loo.

Japan did it. You may recall last year's news about Japan installing poetry inside the stalls of their public restrooms. The idea being, if you read about conservation while doing your business, you will use less toilet paper (20% less, according to Japan Toilet Labo) and thus help save the planet.

I'll tell you, when I first heard this report over the radio, I thought it genius...for both public and personal reasons.

Now, I've no idea how much cash the City of Chicago spends on toilet paper, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, like everything else, they're probably over budget. (Is there anybody out there that has access to this number?) Think, just think, of the money the city (and America) could save if only we'd seek out and hire some unemployed, under-appreciated poets.

I'd personally like to apply for the job.

I've absolutely no professional experience in this field. I did once take a poetry class in college and I'm pretty sure the only thing I remember is: iambic pentameter. Not how to actually construct a poem in that way...just the words, iambic pentameter. Apart from that, and a few lines memorized from a Dr. Seuss book, I am armed with a whole lot of no formal training.

Ha! Like that will stop me. Luckily, what I lack in textbook knowledge, I make up for in desire and personal experience. Why only recently I composed a verse of my own (yes, that's right) for the powder room in our home.

Don't believe? Take a look....

Bathroom poetry hung at eye level for forward-facing commode users.

I really wish I could say I had noble reasons for taking an interest in bathroom poetry, like conserving paper and trees, but I didn't. Basically, I was just tired of unclogging the toilet (or, more accurately, smelling it until my husband came home to his plunging duties)...and yelling at the kids for not even attempting a flush.

So, does it work? I think so. Honestly, I haven't tracked the toilet paper budget, but it's not often I find a surprise in the toilet anymore. At the very least, it makes for some interesting conversation with our guests.

Here are a few tips from Planet Green for creating your own masterpiece.

1. Keep it short and rhyme it.

2. Give it a conservation theme.

3. Use a double entendre.

4. Try including outside references.

Gonna give it a whirl? Won't you share your own potty poem or line in the comments section below? Will you forward this to Mayor Daley for consideration?