Television Archives

Posted at 10:45 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 11

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The film "Slumdog Millionaire" took four awards at Sunday’s 66th annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills. Here are the winners, including twice honored Kate Winslet.

MOVIES

Posted at 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 28

Lucy Parker’s disappointed reaction to news that her plastic surgeon will give her only A-cup breast implants sums up how she is a typical yet very special teen: Girlfriend wants bigger boobs!

Lucy has all the makings of a normal 18-year-old girl—at times insecure, self-absorbed and overly dramatic. She's also funny, bright and thoughtful.

And she’s one of the bravest girls you will see on TV. Having been born a boy named Richard, Lucy has known since she was 8 years old "that my body was all wrong.”

“Teen Transsexual,” airing at 9 p.m. Dec. 30 as part of BBC America's body image series, follows Richard’s long, daunting journey to become Lucy—suicidal feelings, psychological and hormone therapy, medical consultations, electrolysis and surgery.

As Lucy herself says, it’s not a choice. “Do I want to live happy,” she asks. “Or do I want to die?”

The film is graphic at times. We see actual breast implantation and gender reassignment surgeries performed. It’s also sad, touching and ultimately uplifting to hear Lucy tell about her years-long struggle in video diaries and to hear her family members tell their sides of her story.

One downside to the otherwise powerful doc is that it ends without informing viewers whether Lucy gets her full gender reassignment.

It does end with a confidant Lucy, having reached the C-cup size she wanted after months of adjustments, happily trying on new clothes to fit her more womanly figure.

PHOTO: Lucy Parker and her C cups.

Posted at 7 a.m. Wednesday, Dec. 12

The CW’s new “Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants,” isn’t good TV—not even by low reality TV standards.

It’s pointless, shallow and just as banal as any other beauty pageant. Not to mention mean-spirited.

Yet all the bitchiness makes this time-waster fun.

"Crowned" pits 11 mother-daughter teams against one another in pageant-style competitions. At the end of each episode, former Miss USA Shanna Moakler, "Queer Eye" vet Carson Kressley and TV personality Cynthia Garrett judge the teams, and the losing duo is "de-sashed."

For you beauty pageant newbies, that means they are eliminated. At the end of the series’ eight-week run, one mother-daughter pair will win $100,000 and two fabulous tiaras.

During the competition, the women live together in a cramped "Pageant Palace," fighting for bathroom space, shooting catty glances and bugging one another with personal habits such as warming up the annoying opera voice at 7 a.m.

The living conditions generate all the tension you’re expecting to see.

"I think our non-competition would definitely be Gina and Hollis. I don't think they are very pretty," Patty says of another team while her mother, Laura, laughs (both above).

"The 'Star Wars' chicks with no pageant experience," Brenda sniffs to mom Heather (both at right) about Felicia and Pamela, who wears an unfortunate Princess Leia double-bun 'do. "I can't see them competing against two intelligent blonds. Two's better than one, we're double the fun."

Says Amanda as mom Andrea nods in approval: "I don't need to make friends, especially when $100,000 is involved."

You can guess which teams are shocked to be on the elimination block at the episode's close. It's incredibly satisfying to see the reactions of the cockiest creatures when the judges rip on them.

“Crowned” gets cruel, but as the saying goes: If you can’t say anything nice about anyone, come sit by me.

Kressley's the biggest reason to watch. His sharp wit has not dulled since the end of "Queer Eye."

In the opener, the teams are asked to make a great first impression with a team name and some sort of introduction to the judges. When Pamela and Felicia introduce themselves the Tomboy Queens, Kressley can't help himself.

"I identify with that name,” he cracks. "At least the queen part."

He's obviously the only queen present, and he delivers some beautifully catty comments.

"You look like Amish hookers or something," he says to the Blonde Bombshells. When the Daredevil Divas hit the stage in blindingly blingy dresses, he says, "Your outfits make my eyes bleed." Above, judges Kressley, Moakler and Garrett.

But even Kressley misfires. Annette and daughter Alana introduce themselves with the team name Silent But Deadly, and with no subtlety whatsoever Kressley informs them what the name brings to mind.

At least he's having fun. Moakler, who says very little during the judging, takes the proceedings far too seriously. Apparently she hasn't seen playbacks during filming of the laughable proceedings.

"We're celebrating modern women, where spirit, intelligence and heart are as meaningful as a pretty face," Moakler tells the contestants.

You’ll be wondering if that’s true. Despite some allegedly poignant reasons for coming on the show—shouldn’t someone who’s had a kidney transplant have something better to do?—few contestants do little to prove they have anything important to share.

"We don't want to have something as stupid as clothing be the reason we have to leave," one mom says between sobs.

Girl, get a life. That won't be the reason you're de-sashed.

Yikes, now “Crowned” has made me bitchy.

Posted at 7 p.m. Monday, Dec. 10

The 1970s haven’t been good to British police detective Sam Tyler.

He has no cell phone, no computer databases and no “CSI”-style forensics technology to help in his police work.

He suffers debilitating headaches, hears voices in his head and can’t seem to find his way home—to 2007.

Confusing? You don’t know the half of it.

The second and final season of BBC America’s excellent series “Life on Mars” opens at 7 p.m. Tuesday with a bit of a review for fans, and a catch-up for newbies. Viewers see present-day cop Tyler lying on the ground after he’s been hit by a car. When he wakes up, he’s in Manchester, England—in 1973.

"Am I mad? In a coma? Or back in time?" Sam—the deft John Simm—asks in the introduction.

Veteran viewers know the answer, and new ones find out fast enough: Sam is in a coma in the present.

Don’t fire off any angry e-mails just yet; I’ve not spoiled anything for you. More twists than this make “Life on Mars” required viewing.

"Life on Mars" ramps up its time-travel plot with a “Lost”-like spin. Throughout the series, Sam gets phone calls from a mysterious caller who tells him he “can’t come back” just yet. He hears voices in his head—possibly people in his present day hospital room.

Sam has to unravel these clues in order to get home. In the meantime, he has a job to do.

In 1973, Sam’s working for the same old-school police squad that employs him in the present. He still is schooling his colleagues in proper, legal police ways. His hard-headed boss Gene Hunt, played to blustery perfection by Philip Glenister, would rather beat a confession out of a suspect than do proper leg work on a case.

In Tuesday’s two-hour premiere, Sam’s lessons are making an impression on the force. His colleagues still think he’s a troublemaker and do-gooder, but when his ideas actually work, they adopt the modern-day techniques. Thus, Sam ends up “inventing” police tools that he’ll take for granted in the future.

Season 2 also has Sam butting heads with a criminal who will be his nemesis in the future, as well as training a rookie cop who will one day be his mentor.

Yes, it’s trippy stuff. It’s also confusing, frustrating—and thrilling.

Time capsule
This summer, AMC’s excellent series “Mad Men” expertly captured life in the 1960s. “Life on Mars” does the same with the ’70s. Bellbottoms, muscle cars, smoking, drinking on the job, harassment of female and minority employees. It’s the perfect time capsule. There’s also the music. The show shares its title with the David Bowie song, but also included in the first two episodes are songs from Atomic Rooster and Mott the Hoople.

PHOTO: Philip Glenister (left) stars as Det. Gene Hunt and John Simm is Det. Sam Tyler.

Posted at 10 a.m. Sunday, Dec. 9

Dot Dot Dot has been rocking Fox's "Next Great American Band," but it wasn't enough to keep them on the reality show for one more week.

America voted the Chicago band off the show on Friday night.

The band, made up of Adam Blair, Michael Bonowics, Stephan Kohnke, Rose Laguana and Lisa "Little Lisa" Kaberlein, took fifth place honors. They were among the 12 bands chosen out of thousands of bands that auditioned for the show.

Band members told RedEye earlier this year that if they were eliminated, they'd hit Chicago clubs to perform and work on a second album.

"I miss playing," Laguana told RedEye. "This minute and a half [to perform on the show] once a week is driving me crazy."

The four remaining bands are in the competition are the Clark Brothers, Light of Doom, Sixwire and Denver And The Mile High Orchestra. They sang one Queen cover and an original song on Friday.

To hear the original song Dot Dot Dot would have performed, watch a video performance at the show's Web site here or listen to the song at the band's MySpace page here.

You can read RedEye's full ChiTunes interview with Dot Dot Dot here.

Posted at 10 a.m. Friday, Dec. 7

If you've been missing the antics of Shawn Spencer and Adrian Monk from USA Network's Friday night cop comedies, the network has a few holiday treats for you.

"Pysch" and "Monk" aren't expected back on air until early next year, but on Friday they return with holiday episodes. It seems Christmas specials from regular network series are much better than one-time Christmas movies this season. (See the following blog entry on three disappointments.)

Back to the good stuff.

In "Psych," my favorite of the two shows which airs at 9 p.m. Dec. 7, Gus’ parents (Ernie Hudson, Phylicia Rashad) are accused of the murder of a grumpy neighbor.

For those who don’t watch "Psych," the cop comedy centers on Shawn Spencer (James Roday), a goofball who claims to be a psychic private eye. Because he has such incredible observational skills, he has the local cops and just about everyone else tricked into believing he is psychic.

Shawn and Gus (Dule Hill) run the Psych Detective Agency, assist the police and actually solve cases. The two friends have known each other since childhood, and through the years Gus has suffered punishment and humiliation thanks to Shawn's wild ideas.

In this episode, Shawn insists on having dinner with Gus and his parents when he learns that they think he's a bad influence on their son. Gus' mom thinks that the detective agency is just as foolish as the boys' failed pet-baptism venture.

After dinner, where he repeatedly shares all the good things he's done for Gus, Shawn forces them all to go caroling (because everyone knows a bad egg would not go caroling). They stumble across the body of an old man who died mysteriously in his home--next door to the Guster's house.

Eventually Gus' parents are arrested as chief suspects in the case, and Shawn and Gus set out to find the real killer.

As is always the case on "Pysch," the mystery is easy to figure out. But the mysteries are not what make this show such a pleasure. Watch "CSI" or other cop dramas for heavier fare, "Psych" is all about the fun. Roday's so wacky on the show, I'm convinced he's like that for real. I'd love to party with the guy. And Hill cracks me up every time with his reactions to Roday's craziness.

Their interplay never gets old.

Unfortunately, "Monk" is feeling its age. The comedy is in its sixth season now, and the misadventures of obsessive-compulsive detective Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub) are starting to get repetitive.

How many times can viewers be expected to laugh at Monk's desire for order? The series' Christmas episode, airing at 8 p.m. Dec. 7, does have its moments though.

In "Santacide," Monk is a more on edge than usual as Christmas. It’s the 10th anniversary of the death of his wife, which caused his eccentricities. So he's grumpy and sidetracked.

When he shoots Santa, he's also reviled by the entire town. But this Santa isn't what he seems, and Monk wants to unmask the man and clear his own name.

There are fun scenes: Monk duels using a giant candy cane, knocks over a manger display and fights Santa in front of a children's choir. As always, he gets his man.

Posted at 8:45 a.m. Friday, Dec. 7

If I keep having to watch holiday specials like the ones listed below, I'm going to be a Grinch by the time Santa comes to town.

Lost Holiday: The Jim and Suzanne Shemwell Story

8 p.m. Saturday Lifetime

Dylan Walsh puts down his “Nip/Tuck” scalpel for this fact-based Christmas special. He may have done better keeping the blade handy and turning this into a slasher flick. At least something interesting would have happened. Walsh plays Jim Shemwell, a father of two who’s trying to get back together with his wife, Suzanne (Jami Gertz). She’s super-organized and he’s a free spirit. Jim talks Suzanne into ditching her schedule to spend an afternoon snowmobiling in the Idaho mountains. Then he talks her into leaving the designated path. A snowstorm hits; they get lost. They bicker more than worry about staying alive. Do they? The movie isn’t worth watching to find out.

Holiday in Handcuffs

7 p.m. Sunday ABC Family

I guess if miracles ever happen, they’ll happen during the holidays. So I’m forgiving this special its idiotic plot. Instead, I’ll focus on how it made me feel: stupid for kind of enjoying it. Melissa Joan Hart plays Trudie, a funky artist who kidnaps a driven businessman (hottie Mario Lopez) and takes him to her parents’ cabin for Christmas. She wants him to help convince her parents they are dating. At first the crazy kids don’t get along, but eventually they fall for each other. (She teaches him about what’s important; he shows her his bare chest.) I told you it was stupid and miraculously--if only slightly--entertaining.

Oprah Winfrey Presents: Mitch Albom’s For One More Day

8 p.m. Sunday ABC

Where do I begin? With the cumbersome title? With the overly sentimental dialogue taken from Albom’s overly sentimental book? With Michael Imperioli’s soulless performance as a washed-up baseball player who wants to kill himself? Chick Benetto is an alcoholic World Series vet who is granted another day with his dead mother, who all his life he’s blamed for his father running out on the family. He’s also been a bad hubby and dad--just a few of the laundry list of regrets he whines about for two hours. “I want it to stop,” Chick tells his mother’s ghost. “I just want it to stop.” I second that, dude.

Posted at 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, Dec. 4.

Pamela Anderson on Tuesday was named TV’s Sexiest Woman Ever by AOL Television. But the “Baywatch” babe might be a little confused as to why she got the votes.

Click on photo for massive
Pamela Anderson photo gallery

“They just love that show,” she said. “It was the whole California lifestyle—just living the dream.”

I’m guessing the sexiest honor had more to do with that skimpy red swimsuit Anderson’s character, CJ, wore most of the time on the series. In fact, and AOL TV interview with Anderson mentions her “fabulous figure and irresistible smile.”

“Well, thank you,” she told AOL TV. “What a compliment, especially at 40, I’ll take it.”

Others on the list of 50 actresses span the decades, from another blond Anderson—Loni from “WKRP in Cincinnati” (No. 48)—to Katie Holmes in “Dawson’s Creek” (No. 40), and from Nichelle Nichols in “Star Trek” (No. 27) to Jessica Alba in “Dark Angel” (No. 16). The Top 10 list is shown below.

Top 10
10. Tina Louise—“Gilligan’s Island”
9. Catherine Bach—“Dukes of Hazzard”
8. Katherine Heigl—“Grey’s Anatomy”
7. Barbara Eden—“I Dream of Jeannie”
6. Diana Rigg—“The Avengers”
5. Eva Longoria—“Desperate Housewives”
4. Heather Locklear—“Spin City," "Melrose Place," etc.
3. Lynda Carter—“Wonder Woman”
2. Farrah Fawcett—“Charlie’s Angels”
1. Pamela Anderson—“Baywatch”
For the complete list, click this link.

Tell me who's on your list list by posting a comment below.

Posted at 2 p.m. Monday, Dec. 3.

The Fox hype machine is revving up for its new drama "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles."

The drama stars Lena Headey of "300" fame as Sarah Connor, the mother of 15-year-old future world savior John Connor. Thomas Dekker, who starred in the first season of "Heroes," plays John. The pair are fugitives from the law and from a cyborg sent back through time to kill John. Summer Glau, who fanboys will remember from TV's "Firefly" and its film sequel "Serenity," plays John's cyborg protector Cameron.

I”ve seen the original pilot, and it has awesome fight scenes and special effects. This is one show viewers can look forward to seeing.

Fox is promoting the Jan. 13-14 launch of the series with a contest in which the winner could win a trip for two to L.A.

All you have to do is create a poster that promotes the series like the ones shown here. You can get all you need to make your poster at fox.com/terminator, where you'll find graphics, fonts and titles. Fox says five finalists will be chosen based upon originality, creativity and use of provided images.

The top five posters will be posted at the Web site, and from Dec. 18-21 surfers can vote for their favorite. The winning poster will be revealed at the show's premiere party Jan. 9 in L.A.

You better hurry though; you only have until Dec. 14 to submit your poster. For complete information, visit the Web site.

I've posted a video from Fox that goes behind the scenes with the stars during a photo shoot for the series. Come back for more information and video clips.

Posted at 8 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 2

TNT brings back another summer show highlighting the exploits of a lady cop.

“Saving Grace,” airing at 9 p.m. Monday after "The Closer," is an odd cross between “Policewoman” and “Touched by an Angel.” It stars Holly Hunter as self-destructive Oklahoma City detective Grace Hanadarko. She has an ongoing conversation about her soul with an angel named Earl (Leon Rippy) who only she can see.

I’m not convinced the show needs the angel aspect; at times it gets downright annoying. The cop stories stand on their own for the most part, as would Grace’s battles with her inner demons.

That quibble aside, what the show has going for it is its cast, beginning with Hunter. Her gritty performance makes Grace more than just a combative, chain-smoking, alcoholic, promiscuous police detective (as if that’s not enough). She’s also got heart, of course, and a keen sense of justice.

The supporting actors doing excellent work include Kenny Johnson and Bailey Chase as Grace’s fellow detectives (and lovers) and Laura San Giacomo coroner Rhetta Rodriguez, who is always Grace’s best friend.

In the first of four new episodes, which begin at 9 p.m. Monday, Grace investigates the potential negligent homicides via bus of school children. She’s pressing the bus company owner and his staff when tornadoes devastate the area and she must help save the chief suspect.

Of the four episodes this month, the first is the weakest. Your best bets are the final two episodes, airing Dec. 17 and Dec. 18.

If you’re a fan of the always watchable Hunter, you’ll get something out of all of them.

Posted at 9:30 a.m. Friday, Nov. 30

Welcome to the O.Z., witch.

Viewers will half expect to hear that salutation when the evil sorceress of "Tin Man" first meets D.G., a tomboy lost in the Outer Zone, or O.Z.

Unfortunately, Sci Fi Channel's three-part miniseries, airing at 8 p.m. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, doesn't get that witty.

Viewers aren't in Kansas anymore. Or the Emerald City. Or Oz. But it appears the Sci Fi Channel couldn't decide if they should be.

The network calls "Tin Man" a "reimaging" of L. Frank Baum's "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." Although it cuts its own brave path at times, it's too cowardly to break completely away from the 1939 film classic.

That cowardice confounds and disappoints me.

The reason fresh takes on the "Oz" tale, such as the book and play "Wicked," work is that the writers take central characters and plop them into entirely new adventures. The "Tin Man" writers have created exciting new takes on the familiar characters, and they eventually reveal some bold new twists. But they grossly underplay anything original.

"Tin Man" is best when it veers from the familiar yellow brick road. Here Oz is a dark and dangerous place called the O.Z., the wizard is a drug-addicted magician and Toto is a changling spy. Dorothy--now called D.G.--is a motorcycle-riding tomboy who leads her band of familiar new friends on an "Indiana Jones"-like adventure.

Well, it could have been an "Indiana Jones" adventure with more wit and swashbuckling.

Sunday’s opening night is the biggest "Oz" rip-off. It introduces D.G. (Zooey Deschanel, above left) as a restless waitress who jumps into a tornado and lands in the Outer Zone.

The storm wasn't an act of nature though. The sexy, soap opera-ready diva sorceress Azkadellia (Kathleen Robertson, above right) sent troops after D.G., who unknowingly holds the key to Azkadellia's evil plot to bring eternal darkness to the O.Z.

Once in the O.Z., D.G. meets the familiar crew who will help her fight Azkadellia. Glitch (Alan Cumming) is a former scientist and adviser to royalty whose brain has been removed. Raw (Raoul Trujillo) is a skittish, lion-like creature with psychic abilities.

Finally, there's Wyatt Cain (Neal McDonough), a former sheriff--or tin man--who was forced to watch Azkadellia's troops destroy his family. This brings up another confusing thing about "Tin Man": Why did Sci Fi name its mini after this character? McDonough does an impressive job playing Cain as a tough-but-tender avenger, but he’s not the central character. (I already can hear network execs discussing a spin-off series.)

Anyway, back to this series. In parts two and three (8 p.m. Dec. 3 and 4), "Tin Man" finally stretches beyond the "Oz" we're all familiar with. Turns out D.G. isn’t Dorothy Gale, but a descendant of the pig-tailed heroine played by Judy Garland. She’s not simply trying to find home, she’s trying to save her family line and the O.Z. from Azkadellia, who actually is D.G.'s older sister and possibly the biggest victim in the O.Z.

A series of trippy yet overlong flashbacks reveal that long ago Azkadellia's body was taken over by a witch, and D.G. is to blame for that happening.

Twisted sisters—now that’s new and exciting. It’s too bad the writers didn’t trust their own storytelling and introduce these elements. As it is, viewers may be clicking their remotes three times--to another channel.

Neal McDonough, Zooey Deschanel, Raoul Trujillo and Alan Cumming play familiar roles in "Tin Man."

Posted at 10:45 a.m. Wednesday, Nov. 28

I have to admit that I was a bit of a Scrooge when I first watched ABC's new Christmas special "Shrek the Halls."

How could Shrek compete with such classic Christmas characters as the Grinch, Rudolf or Charlie Brown? He can't, but that doesn't really matter.

"Shrek the Halls" may rely too heavily on current references and popular music to feel fresh year after year, but for this Christmas it's just fine.

Shrek (voiced by Mike Myers) gets his first warning about Christmas from Donkey (Eddie Murphy), who tells him there "are only 159 days until Christmas."

"I don't care about Christmas," the grumpy green ogre tells him.

"You mean you haven't trimmed your stockings or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree," Donkey screams.

When Shrek finds out that Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) is looking forward to their triplets' first Christmas, he has a change of heart and leaves the swamp for a last-minute stop at a book store.

"I have to make a Christmas and I have no idea what it is or how to do it," he tells the clerk. She hands him the book "Christmas for Village Idiots," and explains the final step for a perfect holiday.

"The telling of the Christmas story says 'I have created the perfect Christmas for my perfect family perfectly,'" she says.

Shrek decorates the house in a way only the swamp king could (a toliet seat as a wreath) and settles in with the family for their Christmas. Then Donkey, Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) and the fairyland gang bust in, redo all the ogre-centric decorations and generally wreak havoc on the house--and Shrek's perfect holiday.

Each character tells his version of who Santa is--which leads to some of the show's best gags.

Donkey tells the story of a Christmas parade complete with a roasted turkey that dances to "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)." He doesn't snap out of his own story until he inadvertently licks Shrek's leg as he imagines that Santa's a giant made of waffles.

Puss sees Santa as "a hot Latin cat, a real Santa ... Claws." As Puss explains that Santa has a cute fuzzy thing hanging from his hat, he becomes mesmerized, cat-like, with an ornament hanging above him.

Gingerbread Man has the best tale, however. He recounts a horrific holiday when Santa ate his gingerbread date.

When the party gets out of control (There's disco dancing, spilled food, fires and Gingerbread Man throws up a tasty chocolate kiss), a fed-up Shrek tosses everyone out into the snow. Fiona scolds her hubby and follows the gang out the door, teaching Shrek a valuable lesson:

There's no such thing as a perfect Christmas. The holiday is a crazy time of high hopes and low disappointments, so all you can do is embrace your family and the madness of the season.

As Donkey says to the gang, "Christmas isn't Christmas until somebody cries."

I'm not sure kids will absorb the message, but for adults who have spent any holiday with their own family dysfunction this may be the smartest moral of any Christmas story ever told.

Posted at 10:34 a.m. Saturday, Nov. 24

The spoiled rotten Darlings: Patrick (from left), Karen, Brian and the twins, Jeremy and Juliet.

One of the big mysteries on ABC's "Dirty Sexy Money" will be revealed during the upcoming 9 p.m. Wednesday episode when Nick George (Peter Krause) learns which one of the wealthy Darling children is his half sibling.

Peter Strauss turns up in flashback scenes as Nick's father, Dutch, who was the Darling family lawyer for years. He was also Tripp Darling's (Donald Sutherland) confidante--and the lover of Tripp's wife Letitia (Jill Clayburgh). So that explains how Nick has a Darling half sibling.

No spoilers here, but I can say that knowing the answer doesn't seem to make any of those involved any happier. That's not the only action in the episode. Watch for some fun scenes involving Darling kids Karen, Jeremy and Patrick as well.

Here's your last chance to vote for who you think is Nick's half sib.

Posted at 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, Nov. 20

Jay Leno, David Letterman and Conan O'Brien have all been silent since the TV writers' strike began, so it's good to hear that TBS is bringing viewers something new to watch at 10 p.m.

The sketch comedy series "Frank TV" may be new, but it isn't that original.

Comic Frank Caliendo does old-school impressions of famous folks such as George Bush, Charles Barkley and Jack Nicholson. I'm talking old school, like Rich Little used to do on Johnny Carson's show.

You know, comic Rich Little. The impressionist. Rich ... Little.

I told you, Caliendo's shtick is a bit dated. Sure, the longtime "MadTV" star's impressions are dead on, but most of the time the jokes he makes while doing those impressions are deadly dull. In one set-up, Caliendo plays Bill Clinton as he takes viewers on a tour of the Clinton Presidential Library, where guests can party and hook up and have all kinds of non-presidential fun.

Yes, we know Bill Clinton likes the ladies. That's kinda old news--and not too original.

It might help if Caliendo created a better environment for his impressions. There's very little "sketch" in this sketch comedy. Caliendo has fellow actors to play off of in only a few sketches, and those are the most successful. Most of the time, however, he mimics and mugs all by himself.

Sometimes the solo stuff can work well. In a sketch on next week's show, Caliendo imitates Sean Connery doing a commercial for Sean Connery's Voice Club for Men. Connery explains that club members will learn how to attract women. Caliendo's impressions of Connery isn't the best out there (look to Darrell Hammond of "SNL" for that), but the material is much funnier. He takes the seed planted on "SNL"--Connery the brash womanizer--and pushes it forward.

A scene from Tuesday's debut works well too. Caliendo plays all the characters from "Seinfeld" during their 20th anniversary reunion show. He looks nothing like Jerry, Elaine, George or Kramer (he does look a bit like Newman), but he manages to recreate each of them.

The sketch is successful because it has an edge: Caliendo seems to be mocking the over-the-top delivery that the actors gave their own characters. It has a satirical point, whereas many of his sketches are simply nice, gently mocking love letters.

Frankly, Caliendo needs to get mean.

Posted Sunday, Nov. 18, 2007

Rosie O'Donnell's return Tuesday as Dawn Budge on FX's "Nip/Tuck" isn't the only big guest star to turn up on TV this month. There are way too many to list here, but here are a few I've loved or look forward to watching.

Seth Green

"Grey's Anatomy" ABC Thursdays

On Nov. 22, the "Robot Chicken" creator plays a cranky patient named Nick who is treated by Drs. Sloan and Lexie Grey. In the Nov. 15 episode, D.B. Woodside guest starred as Dr. Bailey's high school crush--and latest patient.

Rachel Bilson

"Chuck" NBC Mondays

"The O.C." vet stars as Lou the sandwich maker, a new love interest for Chuck who may have ulterior motives for befriending our nerd-tastic hero. Matthew Bomer returns to the series on Nov. 26. To say more would be a spoiler.

Gaius Charles

"Law & Order: SVU" NBC Tuesdays

"Friday Night Lights" star Charles and ultimate fighter Forrest Griffin are suspects in a murder linked to an ultimate-fighting ring in the Nov. 20 episode.

Melinda Clarke

"Reaper" CW Tuesdays

Another vet of "The O.C.," Clarke is an audience favorite for her guest appearances on CBS' "CSI" as Lady Heather the dominatrix. On Nov. 20 she plays the Grim Reaper's mistress.

Victoria Beckham

"Ugly Betty" ABC Thursdays

Posh Spice blew into town to be Wilhelmina's maid-of-honor--until she took the limelight away from the bridezilla. Beckham isn't "Betty's" only recent guest. Mo'Nique, Freddy Rodriguez have appeared recently, and Eliza Dushku shows up on Nov. 22.

Steven Weber

"Brothers & Sisters" ABC Sundays

Weber follows up his guest roles on "Law & Order: SVU" and "Side Order of Life" as a businessman who takes Sarah to dinner. Chevy Chase and Lyle Lovett also turn up in the Nov. 25 episode. Danny Glover will also return soon. And as I predicted when "Viva Laughlin" was canceled, Eric Winter will be returning for the last few episodes written before the writers' strike began. He plays Jason, Kevin's missonary boyfriend who has been working in Malaysia.

Jenny McCarthy

"Two ad a Half Men" CBS Mondays

The former Playboy Playmate starred as a potential lover interest, or stepsister, to Charlie. Robert Wagner also appeared.

Heidi Klum and friends

"How I Met Your Mother" CBS Mondays

Klum, Miranda Kerr, Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Marisa Miller and Selita Ebanks play themselves in the Nov. 26 episode, which Barney no doubt will love.

Fankie Muniz

"Criminal Minds" CBS Wednesdays

The former "Malcolm in the Middle" plays a comic book artist who helps the team catch a serial killer on Nov. 28. Muniz's appearance follow Nicholas Brendan's guest spot as a computer expert on Nov. 21. Brendan, "Buffy" fans will know, played Xander on that show.

Kristen Bell

"Heroes" NBC Mondays

As Elle, the electricity-zapping psycho babe who's hot for Peter, Bell has ditched her "Veronica Mars" perkiness for a much more dastardly disposition.

Sherri Shepherd

"30 Rock" NBC Thursdays

Al Gore, Edie Falco, Jerry Seinfeld and David Schwimmer may have gotten props for their appearances, but Shepherd's return as Tracy Jordan's bossy wife, Angela, got the laughs.

Paul Reubens

"Pushing Daisies" ABC Wednesdays

The former Pee Wee Herman plays Oscar Vibenius, a suspect in a death caused by the explosion of a scratch-and-sniff book, in the Nov. 21 episode. It'll be difficult to top his appearance last season as Prince Gerhardt of Hapsburg on NBC's "30 Rock."

Eddie Cibrian

"Samantha Who?" ABC Mondays

Fresh off his clothing-optional guest stop on "Dirty Sexy Money," the dimpled one keeps his shirt on during Sam's first date since she developed amnesia. He'd do better wearing only that "DSM" towel again. Airing Nov. 26.

Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney

"The Simpsons" Fox Sundays

It's a "Frasier" family reunion on Nov. 25 when Grammer, Hyde Pierce and Mahoney voice Sideshow Bob, his brother Cecil and their father. Maybe Eddie the dog is a surprise guest.

Posted at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Nov. 1

Seth MacFarlane’s comedy “Family Guy” finds a way to offend nearly everyone in its 100th episode.

Yet I laughed.

I looked around the room to make sure no one could hear what I was laughing at, but still, I laughed.

The episode, which airs at 7:30 p.m. Sunday, is the first of a two-parter that has little Stewie gunning down his mother Lois for her “matricidal tyranny.” After the shooting—and falling down—he cries “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” before realizing, “Oh, that’s right.”

By the end of the episode, Peter’s on trial for his wife’s murder but Brian is sniffing out the real killer. He knows its Stewie and has to find a way to prove it. I won’t spoil the cliffhanger, you’ll have to watch.

I’ve noticed many critics beat up on “Family Guy,” saying its brand of humor is too raunchy and unfunny. I couldn’t disagree more.

It may be super juvenile at times, but as far as I’m concerned it has just the right mix of witty jokes and low-brow gags. Yes, I think poop jokes can be funny.

WATCH FOR IT

Is that Stick Figure, the sweet little guy you’ve seen on RedEye’s sports pages, on Sunday’s “Family Guy”? Whoever it is, he turns in a hilarious cameo as one of Peter’s dates.

Posted at 7:45 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 30

Real-life former New York crime boss Frank Lucas says he’s proud to be played by Denzel Washington in the upcoming film "American Gangster."

That's just one of the many frightening revelations from the latest episode of BET's true-crime series that, coincidentally, has the same title: "American Gangster." Lucas, who's now 75 and out of prison, discusses his career as a heroin smuggler and drug kingpin in 1960s and ’70s Harlem in the 9 p.m. Wednesday show.

"I wanted to be rich," Lucas says. "And so help me God, I made it."

Lucas claims to have made up to $1 million a day selling heroin at the time. He created a pipeline for the drug, smuggling it from Southeast Asia in the coffins of dead U.S. soldiers during the Vietnam War. Lucas claims to have paid off U.S. officials to transport the drugs and says he once smuggled heroin on a plane carrying Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.

He appears proud to have figured out the whole operation, which included bypassing the mafia, who ruled drug sales in the U.S. at the time.

It's chilling to listen to the man tell his tales, especially considering that his actions led to the devastation of families in Harlem and elsewhere. Lucas shows little remorse in the interview.

"If you ain’t used to shooting the drug, you can’t shoot it," he says. "That they died—it ain't my fault." The episode tells the story of Lucas’ life, from his childhood growing up in the South to the present day, through archival footage and interviews with people involved with his case. Richie Roberts, the former detective who brought Lucas down, also appears.

"He was tough, brutal and unforgiving," says Roberts, who is played by Russell Crowe in the film.

According to the doc, Lucas was convicted on federal and state drug charges in 1975, but didn't serve his full term of 70 years in prison. He was given a commuted sentence after helping law enforcement officials bring more than 100 other criminals to justice. He was released from jail in 1981. In 1984, Lucas was convicted of drug trafficking and spent another 7 years in jail.

In the BET interview, Lucas claims he gave prosecutors the names of only dirty cops, but no one else. "I didn't testify against nobody in my life," he says.

One major problem I have with the BET doc is that, at times, it shows a bit too much admiration for Lucas.

"Frank is very charming, humble," Washington says. "He'll have you working for him by the end of the day. He's a force of nature."

Considering all the harm Lucas has caused over the years, such approval rubs me the wrong way.

It's not until the end of the show that Lucas, who says he is proud for living a life that "they now make movies about," finally apologizes for the drug deaths he may have caused. Still, you can hear the old criminal mastermind in his apology.

"I ain't happy that I did it," he says of his drug dealing, "but in the meantime I'm not crying about it."

Posted at 1:41 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 30

There's more than one mystery floating around on ABC's Wednesday night drama "Dirty Sexy Money."

And I'm more interested in the smaller one.

The big mystery of the plot, of course, is the murder of Nick's father, who was rich guy Tripp Darling's lawyer for years. He was also the lover of Tripp's wife Letitia (Jill Clayburgh).

Nick (Peter Krause) is trying to figure out if Tripp or someone else sabotaged the plane that crashed while carrying his father.

The new mystery, and the one that has my brain working, is which of the Darling clan is Nick's sibling? Recently we learned that Tripp (Donald Sutherland) is not the father of one (or two) of the five Darling children. Nick's dad is.

Politician Patrick (William Baldwin)? Serial bride/divorcee Karen (Natalie Zea)? Most unholy minister Brian (Glenn Fitzgerald)? Or the ditzy twins, Juliet (Samaire Armstrong) and Jeremy (Seth Gabel)?

Letitia begged Tripp not to treat him or her or them any differently. I'd love the revelation to some soon, just to see how Nick will handle having a spoiled rotten, rich sibling.

And what if it's Karen, who Nick had a fling with years ago? Scandal people, scandal.

Posted at 8 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 24.

I’m going to miss “Scrubs” when it ends its seven-year run.

Zach Braff’s screw-up J.D., John C. McGinley’s put-down king Dr. Cox, Ken Jenkins’ crabby Dr. Kelso. Even Robert Maschio’s deluded The Todd!

When the hospital comedy debuted in 2001, its wacky story-telling gave it a fresh, never-before-seen feel. Strange single-camera comedies have overtaken TV since, but still the doctors and nurses—and the crabby janitor—at Sacred Heart Hospital paved the way.

The series may be fanciful and silly, but the characters are real and relatable. We all know people like these—although they may be a little less extreme.

But enough with the philosophical crap. I love this show because it always cracks me up. Thursday’s season premiere is no exception. It picks up where last season ended, with J.D. and Elliot (Sarah Chalke) once again about to rekindle their on-again, off-again romance because, as J.D. says, they are “both on the verge of making giant commitments” to other people.

J.D. is living with his pregnant-after-their-first-date girlfriend Kim , while Elliot plans to marry Keith Dudemeister.

The commitment crisis gives J.D. and Turk (Donald Faison) a chance to analyze J.D.’s past flings with gals such as Mo Butt, Tina Two Kids, Rumple Fugly and Gift Shop Girl.

Dr. Cox, always eager to rain on someone’s parade, is quick with the name-calling as always. He creates his first-ever Who-Cares-ies Awards, nominating “Barbie” Reid (Elliot), “Dame Judi” Dorian (J.D.), “Ghandi-idiot” (Turk) and The Todd for various reasons.

Who wins? Viewers do, with the start of another season of laughs.

Posted at 6 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 23

If you’re a fan of “The Real World” seasons in which the cast members worked summer jobs, BET’s got a show for you.

“College Hill: Interns,” a spinoff of the popular “College Hill” reality series, moves the action from campus to the business world as 10 recent grads and current college students work in a six-week internship program.

The show, which was filmed this summer in Chicago, premieres at 9 p.m. Tuesday. Just like on “The Real World” and “College Hill,” sparks fly as the cast members live, party and work together.

They also must compete against one another to stay in the program, which is a surprise they learn from their mentor, best-selling author Dr. Ian Smith. He gets a Donald Trump-like line that none of the cast members want to hear: “Your internship has ended.”

“Nobody’s going to get in my way,” says 20-year-old Chicago native Kathy (above), who should prove to be one of the show’s standouts.

BET puts a big emphasis on Chicago in the first two episodes, showing Walter Payton College Prep High School, Michigan Avenue, the “L” and the skyline, among other sites. In the premiere, the new roomies, including a second Chicagoan, 21-year-old LeTia (right), go out on the town soon after moving into their fancy digs.

They all seem to be having a great time, but anyone who has seen past seasons of “College Hill” knows that’s not going to last.

“The conflict will come,” Kathy says in the premiere. “Everybody’s strong-willed [with] strong personalities. Apparently everybody’s not afraid to speak their minds. So only time will tell.”

I’m sure it will.

Posted at 12:15 a.m. Tuesday, Oct. 23

Not even Hugh Jackman can save CBS' "Viva Laughlin."

I hate to say I told you so, but ...

On Monday, CBS killed the music after airing just two episodes of the drama in which characters sometimes broke out in crappy karaoke.

It's the first scripted series to be canceled this season. Two other series already yanked for the schedules are Fox’s reality series “Nashville” and the CW’s Web-based clip show “Online Nation.”

“Viva Laughlin” didn't stand a chance. It received nearly unanimous scathing reviews. After seeing both Thursday's pilot and Sunday's second episode, I still say it was just plain awful. Karaoke? Come on.

According to Nielsen ratings, "Viva" squandered its gimme lead-in of "CSI" on Thursday. More than 21 million viewers watched “CSI“ at 8 p.m., but only about 8.4 million stuck around to suffer through "Viva Laughlin” at 9 p.m. Less than 7 million viewers watched the 7 p.m. Sunday episode that followed "60 Minutes."

Like the far superior British series “Viva Blackpool” that it was based on, "Laughlin" followed a small-time gambler who is accused of murder just as he opens his new casino. It starred Jackman, Melanie Griffith, Madchen Amick, D.B. Woodside and Lloyd Owen.

According to CBS, a “CSI” repeat will air in place of "Laughlin" this Sunday. The new season of “The Amazing Race” takes over the time slot beginning Nov. 4.

One good thing can come of this debacle, especially for fans of ABC's "Brothers & Sisters."

Eric Winter and Matthew Rhys last season on "Brothers & Sisters."

Eric Winter, who played a cop on "Viva Laughlin," can now return to his "B&S" role of Jason McCallister, the gay brother of Rob Lowe's Sen. McCallister and the minister boyfriend of the show's popular gay character Kevin Walker (played by Matthew Rhys).

Last we saw Jason, the writers sent him off to do church work in Malaysia, no doubt because Winter was committed to "Laughlin." Now Winter, as Jason, is free to come back into Kevin's waiting arms.

Pop culture overflows with vampires both sexy and revolting. But TV seems to go for the sexy, and the trend continues this season with two vampires who get the blood pumping--before they drink it. But who can lay claim to being TV's sexiest bloodsucker? Is it the brooding, tortured Mick St. John of CBS' "Moonlight," or the charming, unapologetic Henry Fitzroy of Lifetime's "Blood Ties"?

Posted at 9:20 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 17

I can’t get no satisfaction from "Viva Laughlin," CBS’ experiment in musical TV.

And I tried. Yes I tried. I love musicals and wanted to love this show.

Oh, I tried.

Musicals are big, bold and bizarre. They introduce audiences to hallucinatory worlds through the uncommon language of song and dance. "Laughlin," a hybrid of musical and crime drama, is not fabulous as a drama or musical.

"Laughlin" seems to be the victim of producers who didn’t think they could sell a musical on TV. Instead of breaking out into song to further a plot point or show emotions that are so strong only singing gets them out (like they do in real musicals), the actors here sing along to songs we all know, such as Elvis Presley’s "Viva Las Vegas" and Blondie’s "One Way or Another."

I can watch "The Singing Bee" or "Don’t Forget the Lyrics" if I want to hear karaoke.

The series centers on a businessman named Ripley Holden (Lloyd Owen) who is building what he hopes will be the best hotel-casino in Laughlin, Nev. But his plans are stymied when his business partner pulls out of their deal and then is found murdered in Holden’s office. Now Holden is the chief suspect.

Time to cue the music, right? Wrong.

The show's creators have failed to make a musical that will satisfy fans of the genre. If the producers didn’t think a musical would go over, why did they bother having the actors karaoke? Most TV series use popular music as their soundtracks. Why not just use the music as background here too? At least then the show might attract viewers who would be turned off by a musical.

As it is, "Laughlin" won't attract musical foes or fans.

The show is based on the far superior British mini-series that aired on BBC America as "Viva Blackpool." In that version the actors also sang along to recognizable songs (annoying there too), at least everyone involved—the show runners, the network and the actors—were committed to making good music.

Where "Blackpool" dazzles, "Laughlin" fizzles. There are no over-the-top dance numbers. There is no sense of the surprise or disappointment found in casinos.

Nothing makes the viewer—well, this viewer—want to get up and sing and dance.

Not even Tony-winning Broadway actor Hugh Jackman (above), a producer and star here, can save this show. As Holden’s nasty rival, Nicky Fontana, Jackman makes a knockout entrance singing the Rolling Stones’ "Sympathy for the Devil." But it’s not enough.

My sympathy goes out to Jackman.

Posted at 11:45 p.m. Monday, Oct. 15

The mystery of the older "Heroes" keeps getting more convoluted.

On Monday, Nathan Petrelli found a group photo of the older generation of heroes that included his parents, Kaito Nakamura, Linderman, Charles Deveaux and that Company guy Bob, who recently hired Mohinder Suresh. Three more women and three more men are pictured (I didn't recognize any of them).

One of the those men, according to Matt Parkman, is his father. And when Parkman tries to get Molly to find his dad with her powers, she freaks out because he's the man who has been haunting her dreams.

That revelation may have overshadowed an even bigger one (at least if my theory holds true). I think Papa Petrelli, whose face is blurred in the photo because he is turned toward his wife, might be Noah Bennet, a.k.a. Horn-Rimmed Glasses. They guy was wearing horn-rimmed glasses and had very similar hair!

If you saved the episode, take another look. I paused, played, replayed, paused. The ages don't seem to match, but maybe that's one of his powers: staying a certain age.

By the way, at least three of the people pictured in that group photo are now dead. Four, if you believe Papa Petrelli is dead.

We didn't see Peter or Hiro in this episode, but other characters are starting to come together. Nathan and Parkman are now working together. Claire and West are getting closer. Micah and his cousin, Monica, who seems to be able to pick up skills by just seeing them done one time.

Now Sylar has hooked up with Maya and Alejandro on their way to New York, and he already has seen their powers.

The episode ended with another great cliff hanger. But the teaser for next week's episode revealed the best news: Kristen Bell of "Veronica Mars" makes her "Heroes" debut.

Photo: Nathan Petrelli and Matt Parkman examine the photo of the older generation of heroes.

Posted at 5:30 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 14

Move over Christine Campbell.

TV’s got a winning new comic character in Samantha Newly.

If you're thinking, "Samantha Who?," you're exactly right.

Christina Applegate (pictured) makes a triumphant return to series TV at 8:30 p.m. Monday in ABC's delightfully edgy sitcom "Samantha Who?"

Emmy-winner Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who plays Christine Campbell on CBS' "The New Adventures of Old Christine,” is considered the current queen of traditional half-hour sitcoms. Her reign may soon be over.

Applegate is a charmer as Sam, a hit-and-run victim who comes out of an eight-day coma with retrograde amnesia. She remembers how to walk and talk, but she has forgotten everything about her life.

Which is where family and friends--and a terrific supporting cast--come in.

Eventually, Sam learns that she was not the nicest person in the world before her mind-erasing accident. She was a rich, materialistic, egomaniacal drunk who cheated on her live-in boyfriend (Barry Watson) and was catty to anyone who wasn’t as hot as her and her club-loving gal pal Andrea (Jennifer Esposito). Which means she had nothing to do with grade-school buddy Dena (Melissa McCarthy), who has been pretending to be Sam's BFF since the accident.

Even Sam and her parents (Kevin Dunn and the always wonderful Jean Smart) hadn't spoken for two years.

Smart is especially effective as Sam's pushy, self-centered mother Regina.

"Wake up, sleepyhead, you're not in a coma anymore," Regina tells Sam as she films a video application to ABC's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition," using Sam's condition as her family’s tragic hook.

Regina later derides Sam for waking up and ruining her chances at the home redo. Smart and Applegate hilariously play off each other, trading priceless reactions and blunt digs and comebacks.

The series is Applegate's showcase. I’ve loved her since she starred as Kelly Bundy in "Married ... With Children." She demonstrates her mastery of physical comedy, making several scenes funnier with her actions and reactions than they likely appeared in writing.

In a scene where she attends an AA meeting, Sam shoves lemon squares, carrot cake and other sweets into her mouth while telling a rambling story about how she doesn't know what food she likes or much about her past or future.

It sounds unrealistic, but Applegate makes it genuine. Sam is funny, wacky and kind of pathetic at the same time.

Because of the show's use of flashbacks, Applegate also gets to play the vulnerable "new" Sam as well as the heartless "old" Sam. Sweet and severe.

As the "new" Sam digs up more dirt on her past life, she begins to hate the "old" Sam, and she wants to make things right with everyone she’s wronged.

Thanks to Applegate, whoever Sam ends up being, she’ll be unforgettable.

Posted at 9:30 a.m. Friday, Oct. 12

I admit it; I was wrong.

When I previewed the fall TV season, I didn't have any nice things to say about "Women's Murder Club," the new ABC drama focusing on a cop, a lawyer, a medical examiner and a reporter—all women—who solve murders.

Back then I wrote: "The first two times I tried to watch this drama, I fell asleep. I wish I had the third time."

"Women's Murder Club" is not that bad, really.

The series' remade pilot, airing at 8 p.m. Friday, is much improved over the original that I saw this summer.

It's not hard-hitting, but "WMC" is a pleasant, easy-to-follow crime story with a "Grey's Anatomy" twist: The women not only share information to help solve crimes, they solve each other's personal problems.

Angie Harmon (left) shows she's got the chops to carry a series in her role as Lindsay Boxer, a career-minded homicide detective whose marriage fell apart when she became obsessed with the "Kiss Me Not Killer."

Now her ex, Tom (Rob Estes), has become her new boss. Bad news for Lindsay, but she's got her BFFs to help her out. Coroner Claire Washburn (Paula Newsome) and Asst. District Atty. Jill Bernhardt (Laura Harris) are more interested in why Tom called Lindsay than the fact that a newspaper reporter was thrown off a roof and landed on Lindsay's car.

"A woman fell on my car," Lindsay mouths to them, trying to get the conversation back to crime-solving. Actually, she wants to avoid any discussion of Tom.

During the investigation, the women meet the newest member of their club when reporter Cindy Thomas (Aubrey Dollar) digs up some vital information about her dead co-worker.

The series makes it wit apparent early on, when Lindsay, Claire and Jill stare curiously at a certain area of the dead reporter's body while it's on the autopsy table.

"That's not your mama's bikini wax," Claire says.

Like I said, it's a pleasant show. Much like the medical cases on "Grey's Anatomy," the murders these women solve are not really the point. They're just an excuse for dishing about boyfriends, husbands and romantic rivals. Oh, and getting busy at the workplace.

In the premiere, Jill decides to move in with her doctor boyfriend, even though she has a romp on her desk with a slimy defense attorney played by Kyle Secor. That's so "Grey's."

"WMC" is obviously geared to women, but there's enough "CSI" like crime-solving. And Harmon's tough-yet-hot cop should keep male eyes on the screen.

"You're under arrest for pissing me off," she says after tackling a perp.

Lock me up.

WATCH FOR IT

"WMC" reunited two former stars of the presidential drama "Commander-in-Chief." On that show Kyle Secor played the first husband, and Ever Carradine was the president's press secretary. They both have recurring roles on "WMC." Secor is a defense attorney and Carradine plays the fiance of Rob Estes' police lieutenant.

Posted at 8 a.m. Thursday, Oct. 11

I'm now even more devoted to ABC's "Pushing Daisies."

In the latest episode entitled "Dummies," Broadway vet and Tony winner Kristin Chenoweth sang "Hopelessly Devoted to You" from "Grease."

What a treat. I saw Chenoweth on Broadway in "Wicked," and let me tell you, the lady can sing.

In "Daisies," Chenoweth plays Olive Snook, Ned's next-door neighbor and a waitress at his pie shop, the Pie Hole. She loves Ned but he doesn't feel the same way about her, so "Hopelessly Devoted to You" was the perfect song for Olive.

It wasn't just Chenoweth's singing that made the moment, however. She has great comic timing, and when Olive's interrupted several times during the song, Chenoweth cracked me up. She looked like a kid who'd been caught doing something she shouldn't.

First, two would-be customers walk in and Olive clams up, then shoos them away. Then the floor guy comes in, and since he's wearing headphones she lets him buff the floors while she picks back up with the song. They end up sort of dancing because he's bopping around to his music and Olive's dancing to her own. She stops a third time when he asks her if she said something.

"No," she says flatly, then turns away and continues singing. The scene ends with Olive sitting at a table, dejected. Ned's dog Digby, who loves Olive because she pets him (Ned can't touch him), jumps up and licks her face.

Wonderful stuff. "Pushing Daisies" is the perfect show for such numbers, because much like musical theater, it operates in its own fanciful world.

The writers should come up with more ways to keep Chenoweth singing. Ellen Greene, who plays Chuck's Aunt Vivian, can also belt. She originated the character of Audrey in the Broadway musical "Little Shop of Horrors." Check out the film version sometime.

Hey, there's an idea. How about an all-musical episode of "Pushing Daisies"?

Posted at 10 p.m. Monday, Oct. 8

"Heroes" should be fighters, not lovers. That's my conclusion after the "Titanic"-like cheesiness of Monday night's scenes between Claire and West (above).

If you remember last week's episode, West spied Claire as she cut off her toe and grew another one. In Monday's episode, she tries to explain it away by saying she was giving herself a pedicure.

"You're not very good at it," he cracks.

After teasing Claire in class and making her cry, West tells her he just wants her to admit she's different.

"OK, I'm a freak," she says, then launches into a big speech about hating to have to hide who she really is.

Now, are you ready for the cheese?

"Claire, shut up," West says as he picks her up and flies off with her. They both start laughing and all is swell. Later, they make out on a beach. (Watch the hands dude!)

Can we just get back to the butt-kicking? Maybe I'm a cynical old fart without a romantic bone in my body, but this all had me laughing. I could hear Celine Dion singing in my head.

The West/Claire beach scene was saved when Claire spied the mark on his neck that, last season, heroes found on their necks after Claire's dad kidnapped them. West told Claire a story about a guy with horn-rimmed glasses who took him.

Yep, it was Noah Bennet.

BIG REVEAL? (spoiler alert!)

Noah Bennet gets a shock when he sees the eighth of the eight paintings done by Isaac of the older heroes.

"We all know how it begins with the death of Kaito Nakamura," he tells Mohinder Suresh, "but how does it end?"

Mohinder sends him the image of the painting, which shows Bennet dead on the ground, and someone kissing Claire in the background.

Does that mean Bennet has some kind of power too?

Posted at 3:30 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 7

After nearly two years away, Cartoon Network's "The Boondocks" is as subversive as ever.

The animated series satirizes black culture and racial prejudices through its three main characters--grade-school radical Huey Freeman, his rap-loving brother Riley and their grumpy Granddad.

Monday’s funny Season 2 premiere doesn't quite have the heavy political or social satire of the past. Still, creator Aaron McGruder hasn't lost his bite.

It begins with a parody of the comedy "Soul Plane," which starred Snoop Dogg and Mo'Nique as employees of the party-happy black airline NWA. They reprise those roles on "Boondocks."

The Freemans see a preview for the film's sequel that shows a black airport security officer too distracted by booty to notice a cache of weapons in carry-on bags. “Come see why black incompetence is our funniest weapon in the war on terror,” the preview says.

The episode focuses on the Freeman family's misadventures at a local theater when Granddad sneaks them into the sequel without paying.

It's not quite the heavy political or social satire of past "Boondocks" episodes. Still, creator Aaron McGruder hasn't lost his bite.

Before they see the film, Huey tells Granddad that the original "Soul Plane" was "as funny as a lynching."

"I've seen funny lynchings," Granddad barks back. "Roscoe Patterson’s lynching was funny." McGruder then shows viewers Roscoe being chased by whites before his 1800s lynching.

You won't see that on TV every day. Expect more controversy as the 15-episode season includes storylines involving Usher, Hurricane Katrina, a rapper named Thugnificent, reality TV and even an episode called "The N-Word."

Leave it up to McGruder and "The Boondocks."

Posted at 9 a.m. Friday, Oct. 5

I was far too cynical a kid in high school to enjoy pep rallies. But I think that's exactly what's needed to save "Friday Night Lights."

So here's my pep rally speech.

Despite dismal ratings, NBC heroically has brought back its best drama, possibly TV's best drama, for a second season this year. And you are going to watch.

Got it?

Honestly, I don't understand why only 5.9 million people, on average, watched last season. "Friday Night Lights" offers incredible acting, lively football, risky story lines and the most honest depiction of small town life you'll find anywhere. I know this; I'm from a small town.

It's an incredibly written and well-acted show. Every line and plot are honest. Every action and reaction ring true.

Just to catch you up, "FNL" is the story of Dillon, Texas, where everyone in town lives for high school football. They've got little else to look forward to. The show has its share of troubled teens and adults, but its much more intelligent than a prime-time soap. Who sleeps together is not the issue here; it’s how the characters survive their troubled situations.

As season two begins at 8 p.m. Friday (when you will tune it), former Panther Coach Eric Taylor and his pregnant wife are living apart after he took a college coaching job. Their daughter Julie is blowing off her boyfriend Matt while flirting with an older guy. Matt's also dealing with trouble at practice, where the new coach is building the team around cocky running back Smash Williams. Former cheerleader Lyla Garrity has found God while her ex, Jason Street, tries to find his way as a coach. And in what could become a controversial story for fans, the budding romance between fast girl Tyra and mathlete Landry will be tested.

To go into much more detail would be unfair to you guys. But trust me, you don't want to miss the show.

Folks who've never watched "FNL" should trust me to. Tune in. It's your best TV bet, I promise. Here are 10 reasons why you should watch.

Go "Friday Night Lights"!

10. Great date show

I'm stereotyping here, but there's enough drama/romance to keep a girlfriend enthralled and enough football to keep a boyfriend cheering. So make a weekly Friday dinner date with your mate, watch the show and make out when its over. Er..., go out when it's over.

9. Best story lines on TV

The plots are more real than any reality show like "The Hills." "FNL" presents the drama that real people deal with every day: deciding whether to take a job, arguing with a friend or family member, deciding whether to forgive someone, breaking up, accepting disappointment or finding success.

8. You know these people

The real issues are dealt with by real people on the show. You'll recognize your friends, family members—even yourself—in the characters. You know all these people.

7. Taylor Kitsch (right)

In no way do I mean to diminish his acting ability, but Taylor Kitsch is hot. Seriously. Smoking. Hot. Big bonus: Within the first three episodes, Kitsch's bad boy Tim Riggins gets his own McSteamy-like scene. Call him McSleepy.

6. Best cast on TV

Kitsch, along with practically everyone else on this show, turned in TV's best performances last season--and continue to in the three new episodes I've seen. Besides Kitsch, pay close attention to Jesse Plemons as Landry; Adrianne Palicki as Tyra; Brad Leland as team booster Buddy Garrity and Scott Porter as Street.

5. Support our guy

Evanston native and Northwestern University grad Zach Gilford (left) plays Saracen. I've never met Gilford, but he plays Saracen's shy awkwardness so well, I can't imagine he's not the same way. He's another of the show's amazing young actors.

4. BFFs

Saracen and Landry; Riggins and Street; Tyra and Julie. Few shows on TV present same-sex friendships so honestly—in all their complicated, messy glory.

3. Love of the underdog

Everyone loves an underdog story, right? Besides being an underdog itself, "FNL" overflows with underdog stories. Shy Saracen is forced into the first QB position when Street gets hurt. Wheelchair-bound Street fights to regain movement in his arms, and this season wants to walk again. Landry wants to date Tyra so badly he tries out for the football team. Even the town of Dillon is an underdog, with its bad economy and few jobs.

2. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton (right)

Chandler and Britton, as Coach and his wife, Tami, are the heart of "FNL." In the premiere, Coach is ordered back to his college job early after Tami has their baby, causing immense tension between the two. They know they can't live apart much longer. Chandler and Britton show their characters' anguish with awkward silence and evasive eyes. And when Tami breaks down after Coach leaves, it's heartbreaking.

1. You need a good cry

Yes, I admit it. I cry when I watch "FNL." What of it? Everyone should cry like that once a week; it feels great. This show will make you feel great. Plus, now that it's on Friday nights, you can release all that tension from the work week in one good cry, then go out and have a great weekend. Or record the show and watch on Saturday morning when you're hung over. You're already getting rid of the toxins from Friday night; why not lose any tension too?

I don't care how you do it, just watch "Friday Night Lights."

Posted at midnight Thursday, Oct. 4.

I like this new Jaime Sommers.

I was a little worried after the season premiere of "Bionic Woman." Seriously, who screams in horror after learning they've been given bionic parts? Embrace your inner robot lady.

After a way-serious premiere, Wednesday's second episode lightened up, giving actress Michelle Ryan some great one-liners to show the human side of her robot-enhanced character.

Turns out Jaime's witty, impatient, tough--and funny.

In one scene she stops an attempted to suicide by pulling the woman up by one arm after she jumped from a roof away from Jaime.

"How'd you do that," the woman asks.

"Pilates," Jaime says.

The episode started out sadly with Jaime at her fiance Will's funeral. OK, I wasn't expecting he'd be dead already, but it makes sense. Now she's on her own.

Jaime shows what she's made of immediately after the funeral. Jonah, Will's former boss at the secret group that gave Jaime her bionic parts, tries to recruit her again. She isn't having it.

"Listen, I'm gonna go back to my job and my life and pretend all this never happened," she says. "So don't call me."

When she finds out that her relationship with Will may have been a set-up, that he may have romanced her simply to get her into the bionic program, she downs shots at a local bar.

"There's no such thing as Mr. Right. From here on in it's Mr. Right Now," she says, then heads to a make-out session in the men's room with the first cute guy she sees. She accidentally breaks his rib.

I love this girl.

Wednesday's second episode was also significant because it marked the first appearance of Isaiah Washington in his first role since being fired from "Grey's Anatomy." He brings the the same authoritative air to Jaime's mentor Pope that he did to Burke on "Grey's." He's a smart addition.

Yes, I'm over the whole "Grey's" flap. It's time to move on.

I'm not going to let it spoil a great new friendship with the "Bionic Woman."

Posted at 9 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 2

The most talked about show of the fall season finally aired Tuesday, but "Cavemen" should be put back on ice.

ABC's new sitcom premiered with little of the humor found in the clever Geico caveman commercials on which it is based. In fact, I sat stone-faced throughout the half hour.

The show's main protagonists are three cavemen living in San Diego, but they just as well be any whiney man on any TV sitcom. They're not very likable and each one is a basic sitcom type.

There's the responsible, good-natured Joel, who is afraid to tell his buddies about his "sape"—or Homo sapiens—girlfriend. He also worries that she's not eager to tell her friends about him.

Joel lives with his brother, Andy, a neurotic dimwit who’s hung up on an old girlfriend. Their other roommate is Joel's slacker best friend, Nick, a student who claims to hate anyone who's pretentious. As you can guess, he's the most pretentious character on the show.

Nick also doesn't think cavemen should date outside their group. "Keep your penis in your genus," he says.

Too bad it's the only funny line in the episode.

Posted at 5:45 p.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 2

What would you sacrifice for the person you love?

That’s the central question driving ABC’s romantic fairy tale “Pushing Daisies,” which premieres at 7 p.m. Wednesday.

And it’s the question that sweet but sad pie maker Ned asks himself when he’s presented with the chance to save his childhood sweetheart, Charlotte “Chuck” Charles, who’s been murdered on a cruise ship.

You see Ned’s no ordinary pie maker. Ever since he was a kid, he’s been able to bring anything back to life with a single touch. But as the show’s narrator says in a flashback to Ned’s childhood, “It was a gift that not only gave—it took.” If Ned touches the person again, they are dead forever. But if Ned doesn’t touch the person again within a minute, someone else nearby dies in his or her place.

After Ned revives Chuck, he can’t bring himself to let her die forever, so he vows to never touch her again.

“You were my first kiss,” he reminds her of their childhood kiss.

“You were my first kiss too ... First and last. Is that weird,” she asks.

“That’s not weird, it’s magical,” he says.

“Daisies” is magical too. Creator Bryan Fuller, whose credits include the quirky “Dead Like Me” and “Wonderfalls,” as well as writing for the first season of “Heroes,” has created a delightful world where Ned runs a diner called the Pie Hole, hails from a town called Coeur d’ Coeurs (Heart of Hearts) that has a travel agency called Boutique Travel Travel Boutique. Director Barry Sonnenfeld ups the storybook feel by using colors so vibrant they make the bright “Ugly Betty” seem drab in comparison.

Lee Pace makes Ned a shy, lovable goof who looks as if his heart will break at any moment because he can’t have what he pines for most—to hold Chuck tightly. You’ll feel his pain. As Chuck, British actress Anna Friel is fiesty and equally endearing.

Just like the leads, the supporting cast plays their oddball characters in a surprisingly understated way. And it works. Chi McBride is the imposing detective Emerson Cod who partners up with Ned to solve murders—and split the rewards. Swoosie Kurtz and Ellen Greene are hilariously serious as Chuck’s eccentric aunts who, the narrator says, share “matching personality disorders and a love for fine cheese.”

Lines like this will put a smile on the face of even the most cynical viewer who might find “Daisies” to be too precious and sappy.

ABC’s pushing boundaries with “Pushing Daisies.” Like “Heroes” last season and “Lost” a few years back, “Daisies” is entirely new and distinctive. I do worry that like those shows, especially “Lost,” “Daisies” may not be able to sustain the pilot’s high level of storytelling, that the show falls into a “case of the week” pattern and that eventually, even I’ll give up on the futility of the Ned/Chuck relationship.

I hope not, because I love the wonderfully weird world of “Pushing Daises.”

Posted at 8 a.m. Tuesday, Oct. 2

At least ABC can look forward to the success of "Dancing with the Stars" at 8 p.m. Tuesday nights. The network's new hour of comedy—and I'm being polite calling it that—probably won't do as well.

By now you've probably heard the story of "Cavemen," the new sitcom based on the popular Geico ads in which cavemen are insulted by people's attitudes toward them. ABC scrapped the original pilot and reshot it—a wise considering how bad it was. The new premiere set for 7 p.m. Tuesday was not made available for review, so I'll reserve judgment until after tonight.

But "Carpoolers" I can talk about, and oh boy is the network in trouble with this one.

The show, which begins at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, continues ABC's new fascination with exclusively male relationships. Last week it aired the weak drama "Big Shots." "Carpoolers" follows four carpooling pals who sing along to songs from the '70s and '80s and get into each other's personal business.

Normally this is where you'd read "hilarity ensues." Not with "Carpoolers."

"Carpoolers" is a great concept stalled by low expectations. It ignores the potential "Seinfeld"-like humor of blowing out of proportion all the minor irritations of a car trip—spilling coffee, using of a cell phone, singing too loudly. Instead most of the action happens outside the car, making "Carpoolers" a standard sitcom about married life with familiar characters and stories we've seen before.

Ladies man Laird (Jerry O'Connell) is bitter over a recent divorce in which his wife took everything but his ab machine and phone books. Blissful newlywed Dougie (Tim Peper) is the newest member of the carpool club. Aubrey (Jerry Minor) appears to have at least 12 kids under 10 and the laziest wife on TV. Gracen (Fred Goss) is a couples therapist whose wife Laila (Faith Ford) dabbles in real estate.

Laila's success in flipping houses threatens Gracen's king-of-my-castle attitude in the premiere. He worries that Laila is making more money than he is, simply because she bought an expensive new toaster with "her" money.

Gracen falls into complete crisis when his dim-bulb, grown son Marmaduke (T.J. Miller), who still lives at home and for some reason never wears pants, gets an Internet job that pays more than Gracen's.

Gracen obsesses over the toaster until his carpool buddies decide that if they break into his house and steal the toaster, all will be right in Gracen's home.

It doesn't make much sense to me either. But that's the kind of resolutions "Carpoolers" offers. In another episode sent for review, Gracen loans his wedding ring to Laird so he can score with a woman who only dates married men.

Other witless jokes include a running gag in which Dougie keeps getting hit by cars (four times in two episodes—ha ha!) and a "Brokeback Mountain" sight gag that's about two years too late.

This wreck of a sitcom does get some help from the actors, who know how to deliver the few punch lines they get. But frankly the carpoolers are kinda boring characters, so it's not enough to make the show worth watching.

WATCH FOR IT

Pay close attention to the carpoolers' homes in Tuesday's episode. In an episode yet to be scheduled that was sent for review, they all appear to have moved to new neighborhoods and into different houses. So watch for it, if you actually continue to watch "Carpoolers."

Posted at 10 p.m. Monday, Oct. 1

Spoilers alert: Only read if you've seen this week's "Heroes."

OK, did Claire Bennet have to cut her toe off on Monday night's "Heroes"? I'm just now recovering from the wooziness.

Claire's fascinated by her power and is testing her limits, but aside from grossing me out Monday she was found out by her classmate West. He flew off when he spied her cutting off the toe (yes, he's a hero too).

West will come back around after the shock (I will) and convince Claire to leave her parents and somehow use her powers for good.

Monday's episode caught us up with Peter Petrelli, who can't remember anything about his past, including his powers or his name. He's being held captive by a group of Irish thieves.

Peter surprises himself every time he uses one of his powers. He zapped a guy with an electric pulse, used Claire's ability to heal, D.L.'s ability to pass through his restraints, and Niki's super strength to kick some butt.

Now he's got to deal with the leader of the Irish group, who has a box that holds Peter's identity. He won't give Peter the info unless he helps the gang.

My guess is the gang somehow is working for the Company.

Peter was wearing the helix symbol necklace again. It means "great ability." Ando called it the Godsend symbol, and explained that it was on the crest of the samurai Takezo Kensei, who turns out to have regeneration powers of his own. Hiro, still back in feudal Japan, is helping the samurai become the great man he is supposed to be. Let's hope that story wraps up soon. I'd like to see Hiro back in the present.

Suresh could use his help. The Company, thinking Suresh is working for them, sent him to heal the memory-erasing Haitian, who had contracted a virus that killed Suresh's sister and is now killing the heroes. Only Suresh's blood can cure anyone afflicted with it. According to interviews with creator Tim Kring, the virus will be one of this season's big themes.

After being healed, the Haitian erased Suresh's memory and took off for California and his old partner Noah Bennet. They are searching for the paintings done by Isaac Mendez that tell what is going to happen to the older heroes. One of the paintings that Bennet already has foretold Kaito Nakamura's death. Bennet says it was one of eight paintings in the series.

Which brings us to Angela Petrelli, who was attacked by someone after Parkman interviewed her at the police station concerning Kaito's death. Whoever the attacker was, no one could see him. Remember last week I said that maybe Claude, the invisible guy who wore the hoodie, was the killer? What do you think?

WATCH FOR IT

Sylar showed up in the preview for next week's episode, sitting on a beach with a woman. He also didn't seem to remember how he got there.

Posted at 9 a.m. Monday, Oct. 1

You might think that a comedy who's fish-out-water theme is applied to a "real, live Pakistani who practices Muslimism" would step over the line of tasteful to hateful.

Not so "Aliens in America," the CW's sweet-yet-subversive new sitcom that airs at 7:30 p.m. Mondays. I t follows that Tolchucks, a Wisconsin family that "orders" a foreign exchange student to insure nerdy son Justin (Dan Byrd) has at least one friend in high school.

The family—especially Justin's mom Franny (Amy Pietz)—is mortified to learn their guest is not the European hottie they imagined. Instead he's Raja Musharaff (Adhir Kalyan), who puts down his bags in the middle of the Chippewa Falls Airport, raises his arms and says, "Thank you, Allah, for the Tolchucks!"

The Tolchucks duck.

"Aliens" doesn't shy away from using such tough issues as multiculturalism, terrorism, 9/11 and Islam as comic fodder, but it is never disrespectful of the topics. The sharpest barbs, and some might find this offensive, are saved for the residents of Medora, Wis., who are shown as ignorant and unwelcoming.

On his first day of school, Raja insists on wearing his kurta—a traditional long shirt—and gets heckled as a result. You hear one kid yell in the background: "Hey Apu! Where's my Slushee?!"

He gets little sympathy from teachers either, as one asks her class how they feel about "Raja and his differences," to which one student answers, "I guess I feel angry because his people blew up the buildings in New York."

Raja tells Justin later abut his classmates: "They are like wolves—and so ignorant about world events."

Justin understands. He's always been an outsider, a weirdo who gets picked on, beat up and listed among the school's "10 most bangable girls" along with his popular sister Claire (Lindsey Shaw).

Justin and Raja to talk for hours after that first day of school, with Justin telling his new friend "stuff I wouldn't even tell the guys from chorus." With Raja, Justin says in a voice-over, "I'm not an outsider any more—just a weirdo."

Justin's comment sums up the magic of this clever, well-acted tale. We are all weirdos and aliens, even—as we'll find out at the end of the premiere—the most popular among us.

WATCH FOR IT

"Gilmore Girls" fans might notice a familiar face in "Aliens in America." Scott Patterson, who played Luke Danes on "Gilmore Girls," stars as Justin Tolchuck's alpaca-raising dad, Gary.

Posted 5:30 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 30

There's another killer stalking the "Heroes," and he (or she or them) may be far more dangerous than Sylar.

Warning TiVo devotees: Spoilers ahead.

Last week's exciting Season 2 premiere answered many questions left hanging over the summer, and as usual, posited many more on fans of NBC's super series. Nobody does the weekly cliffhanger better than creator Tim Kring and his writers.

First off, what's going on with that helix symbol? It turned up again last week, painted (in blood?) on torn photos left for Angela Petrelli and Kaito Nakamura; on the flag and sword of the samurai Hiro meets in feudal Japan; on the disturbing drawings made by Molly; and hanging as a pendant from Peter’s neck. Yes, he's alive, and buff, and clean cut (see photo).

I tried to review where the symbol has popped up in the past to get clues to what it is, but it didn't much good. Anyone have any ideas?

All I know for sure is that a hero who receives a photo of themselves with the symbol has only 24 hours to live (R.I.P. Kaito).

So who's hunting the heroes? Is Sylar back? Is it the baddie haunting Molly’s dreams and drawings? Is it Peter Petrelli?

In the world of "Heroes," it could be any or all of them, which is what makes the show so fun.

I'm guessing it's someone from the older heroes' past. Kaito rattled off a list of their dead friends: Charles Deveaux, Linderman, Angela's husband. "Now there are nine," Angela said. She's no doubt referring to the other heroes pictured in the parts of the torn photo we didn't see.

Kaito knew his killer too. “Of all of them. I never expected you,” he said to the stranger hidden under the hoodie.

Didn't the invisible guy Claude wear a hoodie?

The episode, called "Four Months Later," also expertly caught viewers up with what's been happening to some of the heroes since they defeated Sylar.

HIRO: In 1671 Japan, Hiro meets his samurai hero, Takezo Kensie, who turns out to be a cowardly con man. Hiro is disappointed his hero is a British guy, but I'm happy to see David Anders, who played Julian Sark on "Alias," back on TV. This week we can expect that Hiro will try to undo the damage done when he accidentally changed history.

CLAIRE: The Bennets have moved to Costa Verde, Calif., and are calling themselves the Butlers. Mr. Bennet puts Claire under strict orders to not get noticed and not use her powers. Claire did get noticed--by a cute kid named West who got all flirty with her. Wait until she learns he can fly. Will Claire fall for a guy with the same power as her real dad Nathan Petrelli, who's now a drunk because he thinks he failed to save Peter?

PETER: Did anyone really think they'd kill him off when he exploded? No way. The guy's power—mimicking anyone else's power—is way to cool. But something is different about him now—besides the hair cut. He doesn't appear to remember anything. And where'd he get the power he used to zap that Irish guy?

PARKMAN: Mind reader Matt Parkman survived the four bullets he took to the chest while fighting Sylar. Now he's an NYPD detective and with Mohinder Suresh is helping take care of Molly, the little girl who can track any heroes anywhere. Suresh is trying to infiltrate the Company, Bennet's former bosses who want to destroy the heroes.

The only heroes who didn't show up in the premiere were Jessica/Niki and Micah. We did meet two new heroes—Maya and Alejandro Herrera. Whatever her power is, it seems to kill without her consent. I think it only happens when she's separated from her brother, as if his power is to keep her power in check. Wonder twins, activate! However it works, its scary. When Alejandro was kicked out of the smugglers' truck, everyone onboard ended up with bloodied eyes—and dead.

Theirs is just one of many intriguing new stories started during the premiere. I was worried "Heroes" might be adding too many characters and plot lines, but Kring and the writers deftly handled the juggling act during the premiere.

WATCH FOR IT

I'm going to try to post after each episode of "Heroes" on Monday nights. Feel free to let me know if you agree of disagree with the theories I come up with after the show.

Posted: 9 a.m. Friday. Sept. 28

"Dexter" 8 p.m. Sundays on Showtime

Is that emotion seeping through Dexter Morgan's cold exterior?

The serial killer at the center of Showtime's complex thriller "Dexter" would never admit it, but yes, he's feeling ... something. He just can't put his finger on it.

Dexter, who follows a code that allows him to kill only criminals who have escaped justice, made it clear in season one that he only pretends to make human connections in order to avoid detection.

Michael C. Hall is a marvel to watch as Dexter. By revealing only glimpses of Dexter's humanity, Hall's created a killer who's as sympathetic as he is ruthless. Honestly, you'll be cheering the guy on, especially as the second season begins.

Dexter's now adrift, rattled after killing the only man he could relate to—the brother lost to his repressed childhood memories. This brother, Rudy, understood Dexter's need to kill and accepted it—because Rudy also was a murderer.

As the Miami police department's blood-splatter expert (hey, a killer's gotta make a living), Dexter had a front row seat to marvel at the tidy ways his brother killed. That was before Dexter found out the guy dating his foster sister, a cop named Debra (Jennifer Carpenter), was his brother. And that his brother was the Ice Truck Killer. He was forced to kill Rudy because Rudy was going to kill Deb.

Talk about piling on.

Now it's been "38 days 16 hours and 12 minutes since I killed my brother," Dexter says in one of his intimately creepy voice-overs, and he's haunted by his brother. Dex can't figure it out, but for the first time ever, he's feeling loss.

And it's keeping him from killing again.

True, the people around him are seriously cramping his style too. The ever-suspicious Sgt. Doakes (Erik King) trails Dex wherever he goes. Deb moved in with him after the Ice Truck Killer incident. (She has no idea he was Dexter's brother.) Even Dex's girlfriend Rita (Julie Benz) is starting to question what he does late at night.

"My life's been all Jekyll and no Hyde," Dexter says. But when he finally lines up a target, he can't do the deed.

Then he locks eyes with a child whose father was killed by a gang thug, imagining that she is begging him to bring the man to justice. "I need this one," Dexter tells viewers. Oddly enough, you'll agree and root for Dexter to get his groove back.

I want you to enjoy what happens, so I won't tell anymore. But after viewing the first four episodes of season two, I can tell you that it's likely to be even better than the stellar first season. "Dexter" is one of TV's best, most compelling shows.

The great acting and dark humor (Dexter says killing "fills him with civic pride") are back. The seed for another ironic storyline is planted when the FBI's top serial-killer hunter, Agent Frank Lundy (Keith Carradine), is called to Miami after divers discover the underwater graveyard where the "Bay Harbor Butcher" has been dumping his victims' bodies.

Looks like Dex will be called to investigate another serial killer—himself.

WATCH FOR IT

Dexter Morgan has the fastest growing facial hair I've ever sen. Pay close attention to the opening credits of "Dexter" and you'll see our anti-hero shaving his face as part of his morning routine. But by the time he puts on his T-shirt, he's already got a 5 o'clock shadow. Make that a 7 a.m. shadow.

Posted: 8:27 p.m., Thursday, Sept. 27

It would take a lot of garlic to keep me from a vampire story.

I love everything about them. Love the teeth. Love the mystery. Love the equal opportunity sexiness.

But CBS’ "Moonlight" has pounded a stake into my heart.

Mick St. John is a vampire who fights his blood-sucker urges (by injecting himself with blood) and protects humans from supernatural creatures and themselves. If this sounds familiar, you probably remember the dearly departed "Angel."

Like Mick, Angel was not your every-night vampire. He was just in a better series.

The new series opens with Mick seeting an interview straight about vampires: "I sleep in a freezer. Garlic is tasty on pizza. Toss holy water on me, I get wet. Crucifixes? OK, if you’re into that kind of thing. Oh, and I definitely can’t turn into a bat. That would be cool, though, wouldn’t it?"

As Mick, Alex O’Loughlin doesn’t have the ironic cool of David Boreanz’s Angel. He makes Mick cool, sexy and playful, but also gives him the hard edge of a veteran cop. Too bad "Moonlight," at least the first episode made available for review, isn’t a very hard-edged cop show.

The first case we see Mick tackle involves a series of deaths in which the victims are left with bite marks on their necks. Mick meets a snoopy Internet reporter named Beth (Sophia Myles) at one of the murder scenes. Turns out the immortal vampire saved her as a child from his blood-thirsty wife, whom he battles in a flashback scene, one of the premiere’s few exciting moments.

The rather dull hour gets a lift from Jason Dohring, who brings the same snap he used on "Veronica Mars" to play Josef—Mick’s much older vampire friend who stills loves the kill.

When Josef sees a so-called expert on vampires on the news, he laughs. "Vampire expert? Now we’ve got the food mouthing off about the farmer."

He’s fun in the role. But "Moonlight" will need more than O’Loughlin’s cool and Dohring’s comedy to keep it from the stake.