Dating Advice inspired by the Mathematical Order of Operations
The amount of time one should spend with a person before having sex seems to be a hot topic amongst the blogosphere...maybe just a hot topic in general in this post sexual revolution world.
We've been liberated-but somehow sex still complicates things, emotions get involved despite our best efforts to leave them out of the process. Why not revert to the problem solving skills we learned in high school to make sense of it all?
The Urban Dater wrote a post today showcasing his male version of the order of operations for dating in response to a tweet from
@lildevilmama who was inspired to post about the very same order of operations by one of my fave/fello ChiNow bloggers, Jess Downey of
All the Single Ladies.
The gist-how should a dating relationship go? What is the right order to put a relationship in to make sure things turn out well for both parties? I'm going to give this one a shot with the old high school algebra mnemonic device used to help remember the order of operations, Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally:
P-Put yourself out there. Dating and sex are all about suspending your
pride and putting your heart on the line. If you're not willing to make
yourself vulnerable, the whole thing is a wash.
E-Ease in. Even if you are head over heels crazy about the object of
your affection, test the waters. Spend time with that person,
participate in activities that either or both of you enjoy, see if this
guy/girl is someone you can have fun with.
M-Make Out. It's your parents basement all over again, a make-out sesh
without agenda can say a lot about your physical chemistry as a
couple. Namely, it's a good way to find out if there is any. You
can't get to first base if you haven't hit the ball.
D- Discuss. Have conversations about life. Talk about what matters to
you, ask tough questions. A huge part of intimacy is emotional. If you
can't get real with your partner than trust will not be established.
If you don't trust the person you're with, the sex will not be anywhere
near as good as it could be.
A- Anticipate. Continue getting to know each other, maybe make your
way around a few more of the proverbial "bases." Tease a little bit.
Hopefully if you're to this step you know you like the person and when
you actually get around to doin' it, it will be the icing on the cake.
S-Sexy Time. That's right, if you've gotten through the previous
steps, you've earned yourself some sexy time. I'm also betting that if
you've gotten through this order of operations, the sex is going to
be pretty f-in awesome. Not only will the fact that you've been
waiting make the pay-off super hot, but also, you will have already
established a certain level of intimacy and trust with your significant
other that will allow you to be uninhibited. Enjoy!
Now the time frame that this all goes down in will vary for everyone, but I think, if followed, when you get around to solving the equation, you'll find you have an awesome (and hot) relationship in the works.
2 Comments
Jessica Downey said:
Love this Erin! It totally makes sense!
Alex said:
Haha! This is great. Thanks for linking to the story on the Urban Dater.
It's so true that people get confused and over think what they should be doing while dating people. I contend that it needn't be so difficult. Common sense, I realize, isn't so common... Enter the Order of Operations for Dating. =)
Anyway, a gem of a post! Loved it.
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