Why are we obsessed with virginity?

I agree. Sure, it's possible if someone makes a choice to remain abstinent, but since most people don't make that choice, why not just educate people so they can do what's right for them?

Here's a hop-tip about dating girls who are abstinent...they dig anal:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/were_abstinent_but_we_had_anal_sex_and_are_scared_to_death

Now that's what I call bringing sexy back!

Here's something a lot of people miss when they discuss adults practicing celibacy: For a lot of them, it's not really a choice.

Sure, most people could go hunt someone down at a bar to have sex with, but, for the most part, the adults who are virgins/celibate are stuck in a neverending cycle. They might have missed a crucial dating period in high school bc they were awkward/shy/whatever, and as they get older and older, more people they try to get involved with are scared off by the "virginity" label (or completely fetishize it). And that's how you get 40-year-old virgins running around town. At 22 years old, I speak from personal experience when I say that admitting you're one of those folks is terrifying, as you never know what response you're going to get and there's also never really an appropriate time to bring it up.

Check out this link for more information on "involuntary celibacy" or, as it's known in the community, "incel." http://www.involuntarycelibacy.com/

Of course there is nothing wrong with making a personal choice to be celibate for how ever long or whatever reason you want to. The problem I have is with a culture that tries to make that decision for you. Kids are going to screw.. there is no doubt about that. Inform them of how to do it safely, even if they don't use that information for years.

And you are SO right Anna about the gender divide. I find it disgusting that it is mostly, if not all, targeted at girls. Where are the Mommy/Son purity balls? huh?

Question though.....if you're celibate does that include no masturbation?

Celibacy kills. Just look at George Sodini, the shooter who killed women in a Pittsburgh health club. According to his blog he hadn't had sex since 1990

I asked my daughters if they could wait till I'm dead before they had sex...oldest 19 turned to me and said "too Late"

The things that we don't speak about we think about..( A lot)hence Gym shooting mentioned by "Joe the Cop" see above comment...

Celibacy until marriage is a relevant goal because many people believe that sex outside marriage is immoral, sinful, or against the will of God. This view is very common in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. I don't know about Hinduism or Buddhism, so someone feel free to share.

There are also more secular concerns about unwanted pregnancy, not being able to provide for children as a single parent, and increased risk of sexually transmitted infections. But I think Anna Pulley is right when she says that much of our views on proper sexual behavior is influenced by religion. Not that that's a bad thing.

I also don't know what these statistics bring to the table. They are descriptive rather than normative. Are you saying that because only 5% of people attain the goal, we should move the goalposts? If 95% of drivers will get a speeding ticket in their lifetimes, should we ponder why we have speed limits at all?

And as long as we're going to perform pop psychology on George Sodini, I think we can reverse the argument very easily. Perhaps if 95% of people were celibate until marriage, he wouldn't have felt so isolated, alone, or bitter. Maybe putting a big emphasis on non-celibacy was bad. I don't know if it's true, but I think that it's just as plausible a Just-So story.

Having a serious conversation about remaining celibate until married is focockta. Separation of church and state? We are bring prayer into schools.

I say tax those churches and pass the cash to single payer health care. Next regulate and tax prostitution.

Gramps in the movie Little Miss Sunshine has the answer:
"Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women. ..."

I was born in 1957 so I was born in the sexual revolution. Folks, could you all tell me just what great things the sexual revolution has done for women except shown them how to organism and I am not trying to be funny. You say it has freed women to what? To be as stupid and irresponsible as men. The skyrocketing of children born out of wedlock, abortion, sexually transmitted disease, the breakdown of the family just what good has come out of it? As for more sexually education, could you please tell me where sex is not talked about in this culture? TV, all over, school, all kids talk about, plus they have sex ed, Christian School, I hate to tell you but in my day you wanted to go date girls in Christian School cause the word on the street was they were easier. I am not a prude, but you have 12, 13 year old girls who dress showing their underpants, girls run around dressed like tramps and wonder why guys treat them like tramps. Me and my caveman buddies always figured if a girl was showing off her merchandise she was looking for a buyer. I am over 50 folks and I can tell you the problem society has today is much worse than when I grew up. The problems you will have after I am long gone are going to be much worse because of generation and generation who keep thinking that what God said about Family and Sex was stupid and old fashioned, unfortunately we are today paying for our openmindedness. The people who will make fun of me and laugh at me need to remember what I said and twenty-five years from now look at the world and see if things got better or worse. There is a reason God put laws in the Bible for us and I had to find out the hard way why and it looks the most of the world will have to too. Take care, may God Bless you and have a most joyous day.

Amen VS O-Face

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/food-fight/2009/08/amen-vs-o-face.html

I really don't care what people do with their bodies as long as it is not harming anyone who lacks sound mind to give consent. If someone wants to practice celibacy, more power to them. Some cultures/religions fast for ascetic purposes and no one gives a hoot about that, do they? But let me get to the point. In my opinion, everyone is so obsessed with virginity (right on, Anna, specifically female virginity) because we live in a patriarchal society. Patriarchy wants access to women's bodies when, how and where it demands it. If it wasn't for the purposes of exchanging women as chattel, or some dudebro who only sleeps with virgins, then to say it's about righteousness just seems like another tactical approach to making demands on women's bodies. But that's just my humble opinion.

Dear Umbra - would you please leave your day job and spend your time providing your insightful views on these issues? I rarely comment in these venues, as I am generally deeply disappointed in the quality of the conversation. I hope that you will continue to post your observations.
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the idea was that if you retain your virginity you're not contributing to the children having children problem. you need at least an HS diploma to get a job (when they exist). most girls quit school under the circumstances. should they wake up after one, it's hard to get back into schooling to make a go of changing your life around. otherwise, you get caught in the public assistance loop and your daughter grows up and based on her examples perpetuates the problem.
the other factor is that if two virgins marry, they likely are not spreading STDs.

Marriage is very overrated--there's too many players out there to ruin it for you if you did decide to wait, so I say if you're 18 or older and have a handle on your life----enjoy! Life is way to short, so enjoy the journey with no guilt or regrets.