Can't bi me love: being anal about pregnancy
i had sex my girl friend in her ass and sperm out in her ass so is there any chance of pregnancy. please inform urgently.
~scaredIt is far too early for me to be deciphering your erotic poetry, Scared, but I am willing to venture a guess that you are asking what the chances of pregnancy are when one engages in unprotected anal sex. It's true that little else in this world causes more people to spontaneously burst into soliloquy quite like knockin' on heaven's back door. Indeed, not just poetry, but whole novels have been written about it.
The Way Things Ought to Be by Rush Limbaugh comes to mind. But on to your question.
I hate to be a party pooper, but according to
The Big Bang:
"Of those couples who use anal sex as a method of birth control, about 8 percent end up conceiving."
Also known as splash conception, or the Jackson Pollock if you're an
"arteest," this method of (mis)conception occurs when semen runs down
the perineum (or jogs or strolls or even sashays) and into the
vagina. This practice has been popularized by misguided Christian
girls "saving themselves" for marriage, and now Dan Savage, with his campaign against the homophobic Rick
Warren, has prompted a new definition for the phenomenon,
saddlebacking.
But how much should you worry, Scared? Well, here are some stats for other methods of contraception, courtesy of
Planned Parenthood, to put things in perspective:
Pulling out - 30% chance of pregnancy
Spermicide - 15% chance
Using male condoms incorrectly or not all the time - 15% chance
Using male condoms correctly - 2% chance
The Pill - 1% chance (or 8% if used incorrectly)
The Shot - 1-3% chance
Vasectomy - less than 1% chance
So there you have it, Scared. But, I don't want to leave you only with
numbers and the image of "sperm out in your girlfriend's ass."
So here's a limerick especially for you - tit for tat, as it were (or
tit for ass?).
I once met a dude on the 'net,
who wrote to me very upset.
When you ride the caboose
and some sperm is knocked loose
a baby you just might beget.
Got a question of your own? Email
anna.pulley (at) gmail.com
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1 Comment
shanarose said:
Even my groggy humor receptors liked this. Nice freakin' limerick yo.
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