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Reality TV Star's Shocking Ensemble Disgusts UC Faithful

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SarahSpain

Sports reporter, sarcastic smartass, music lover, funny gal.

During the second intermission of Wednesday night's contest between the Blackhawks and the Edmonton Oilers, fans settled back in their seats to enjoy the always popular "Shoot The Puck" promotion.

At each Hawks home game, three people are selected to participate in the contest: an adorable young child, an average adult male, and a sexy female fan with dizzying cleavage and towering stiletto-heeled shoes. 

Fans have come to understand and respect the manner in which each contestant should be treated. The child should get genuine, but subdued cheers, much like those given to a returning player who has been traded or let go (see: Nikolai Khabibulin).

The adult male should be booed with the kind of vigor usually reserved for the most hated of opponents (see: the Detroit Red Wings).

The sexy female (a.k.a. the "Shoot The Puck Girl") should be showered with love and affection and given the quality of cheers one would bestow upon a legend (see: Stan Mikita or your favorite dancer at VIP's).  

In a move that shocked Blackhawk fans everywhere, Wednesday night's Shoot The Puck Girl, Jillian Harris of ABC's The Bachelorette, refused to comply with tradition. Eschewing the accepted Shoot the Puck Girl ensemble, Harris wore sensible, chunky-heeled boots and a baggy, red Blackhawks sweatshirt.

That's right, Harris, just a lowly reality TV star, believed herself important enough to change the unspoken rules of the "Shoot The Puck" promotion. Fans at the UC tried to follow protocol, but it was clear from the first weak, half-hearted call of "Shake it, honey" to the unprecedented sprinkling of boos that followed her final shot, that Wednesday's Shoot The Puck Girl had changed things forever.

Will women begin wearing event-appropriate attire to Hawks games? Will fans never again see a Shoot The Puck Girl celebrate to the point of exposing herself? Will men be forced to spend a full three hours without the comforting and reassuring sight of cleavage? It's too early to say, but it's clear that Harris' transgression could have staggering effects.

Harris recently relocated to Chicago to move in with her fiance from the show, Ed Swiderski, who may or may not have slept with or currently be sleeping with eleventeen other women on the side. It's hard not to assume that Harris' sensible attire and unabashed self-respect are the reason for Swiderski's infidelity. And can you blame him?

 

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5 Comments

Aisle424 said:

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What is this world coming to? At least we still have the Ice Girls. They seem smart to me.

fanof19 said:

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I can't stand that the female interviewer, who is making bimbo blonds everywhere look bad, missed that the little kid got the puck in while she was talking nonsense to the celebrity wanna-be. The McMarketing team should get rid of said blond bimbo.

Jennifer Fernicola Ronay said:

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Very funny!! But, I like her boots and I don't like anything sensible and/or chunky heeled. Oh well..Funny funny entry!

dixie22 said:

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who cares what she wore after all it's a hockey game not a strip club.

Claudette said:

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She's trying to change her skanky image.

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