After Saturday's loss to Texas A & M, Texas Tech head football coach Mike Leach blamed not only his players, but their "fat little girlfriends" too.
Let's ignore the fact that the terms "fat" and "little" are contradictory (are the girlfriends short but stocky? petite but pudgy?) and move on to Leach's complaint. According to the head ball coach, the players took their game against Texas A & M for granted because "their fat little girlfriends were telling them what they wanna hear, which is how great you are. And how easy it's gonna be."
This weekend the 3-3 Chicago Bears take on the 1-6 Cleveland Browns, led by the hapless Derek Anderson. While the Bears are doing their best to stay focused and not look past this weekend's contest, many think the Monsters of the Midway have already put a "W" next the game on their schedules.
While just a little bit of research seems to prove that the wives and girlfriends of professional football players are rarely "fat" (see Exhibits A, B and C) there's no telling whether a few of the Bears are hiding away their hefty honeys.
Let's Hope The Chicago Bears Don't Have "Fat Little Girlfriends" Too
So if you're out there, "fat little girlfriends" of Bears players, be
sure to give your man the tough love he needs to go out there and put a
beating on the Browns. In fact, no love at all might be the answer.
Make your guy feel so bad about himself and fill him up with so much repressed
sexual energy, he takes the field Sunday with the strength and passion
of a thousand jailed men.
Just keep him away from Brady Quinn. That boy is pretty!
*For more on the Bears/Browns tilt, head over to WaitingForNextYear.com, where I told the guys what I think the keys are to the Bears winning Sunday's contest...
Just keep him away from Brady Quinn. That boy is pretty!
*For more on the Bears/Browns tilt, head over to WaitingForNextYear.com, where I told the guys what I think the keys are to the Bears winning Sunday's contest...
The Bears Will Win If...
...The Earth remains on its axis and the sun rises Sunday morning and sets Sunday night. As long as the oceans don't overflow, the mountains don't crumble and the sky doesn't fall, the Bears will be victorious.
There's a chance, albeit slight, that the Browns could win if the fundamental principles of nature were somehow disrupted. But assuming gravity still dictates that what goes up must come down, E still = mc², and the speed of light is still approximately 300,000 kilometers per second, the Bears will win.
The last time the Browns defeated the Bears at Soldier Field was in 1969. The Browns haven't beaten a team at or above .500 all season. Josh Cribbs will never be Devin Hester circa 2006, Joe Thomas would always rather be fishing and Derek Anderson is still the starting quarterback.
The Bears, their pathetic o-line and their sieve-like secondary, will be just fine.
1 Comment
Mia said:
I wonder if the coach's fat little wife was upset by his remarks?
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