How not to spice up your sex life: cherry lube
Steele on flavored lubricant: "First of all, who is eating lube? Or do some people have taste buds in weird places?"
I've been on a health kick recently.
I started back at the gym with a trainer before work; I stopped eating carbs after dark and cut back on my junk food and alcohol consumption. The added exercise has increased both my metabolism and my sex drive.
Part of this change was because I didn't want to fall into that
winter-blues/hibernation mode and part was because I didn't want to end
up looking like a big soft doughy mass. And because I have been more
conscious about what I eat, I am also more observant of product labels
and about making smart food choices.
Which brings me to a rather interesting product I spotted at Walgreen's
in the pharmacy section: sugar-free wild cherry lube. First of all, who
is eating lube? Or do some people have taste buds in weird places?
Also, is sugar-free sex a smart move or bad marketing? Don't you want
your sex life to be filled with sugar and spice?
If you want to add food to your bedroom follies, then explore some real
options. There's caramel, Champagne or the old stand-by--place an ice
cube or an Altoid in your mouth to add an element of surprise.
Combining sex and food can either be a mood enhancer or a mood spoiler.
Remember when George Costanza decided food during sex meant eating a
giant sandwich when his girlfriend turned away? Not so sexy.
This got me thinking about other ways to spice up the sex life and burn
calories at the same time. Perhaps having sex on the elliptical or
rowing machine. That weird Pilates contraption seems tailor-made for
shenanigans. I am not sure how the logistics of this would work, but it
would be interesting to try. Just be aware of the moving parts.
Of course, sex itself is a fun and easy way to burn calories. According
to the MSNBC calorie calculator I checked, a 150-pound person can burn
about 54 calories during 30 minutes of vigorous sex.
But if you aren't into the food route, maybe that sugar-free wild cherry lube is right for you.
I wonder what other sugar-free lube flavors might be a big hit: mint,
cinnamon? Or how about lube with caffeine in it--that would kick things
into high gear.
I have never experimented with food during sex. It seems like it would
be a mess, but I would be willing to give it a try provided both the
food and the guy are yummy. But because I'm on a healthier regimen, I
would probably opt for reduced-fat Reddiwip.
JASON STEELE IS A REDEYE SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR.
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1 Comment
Matt B said:
First of all, if you need your lube flavored, then you obviously don't understand what lube is for. Seriously, you're not doing it right.
Secondly, I would never recommend food and sex. Sure, it seems like a sensuous, romantic, "kinky" idea, mostly due to movie magic. But it usually just ends either with crumbs where you don't want them or with a sticky mess. And not the fun kind.
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