The Geek is an idiot, who gets a lot of parking tickets, and knows how to fight back.
It's another weekend of street festivals and fun summer events, which of course means street closures, traffic backups and parking headaches. The Parking Ticket Geek has the lowdown on what areas to avoid driving and tips on where to park if you plan to attend any of these events.
Here's what's going on, places to avoid driving and parking advice on what is essentially the last weekend of summer in Chicago.
EVENT: Chicago Jazz Festival
WHERE: Grant Park
CLOSURES: Balbo from Michigan to Lake Shore Drive, Jackson from Columbus to Michigan.
Man, I really like this festival. Being outside. Listening to some great jazz. Some food. Some drink. Staring up at the beautiful Chicago skyline as the last breath of summer is poised to evaporate into the strictness of fall. Ahhhhh.
As usual, with a big event like this, parking can be difficult. We encourage public transportation if you can. But if you can't, find some cheap lots off the beaten path. Meters w0rk, but you need to refresh your receipt every two hours.
EVENT: Taste of Polonia
WHERE: Jefferson Park
CLOSURES: Lawrence Ave. from Milwaukee Ave. to the Kennedy Expressway.
Another gem of a ethnic festival. Fresh made pierogi seriously kick ass. A little butter, a little onion...yum!
No problems parking here. The fest offers free parking over at Wright College. Free parking? Those are two words the Geek truly relishes.
Although, there's a bit of street work going on near here. So be prepared for a few delays nearby.
EVENT: Bash on Wabash
WHERE: South Loop
CLOSURES: Wabash between 13th & 14th
Blech! Another crappy street festival. Anytime you have Mr. Blotto and Hairbangers Ball on the bill, you know it will most likely be lame. Although this band called Cornmeal is playing, and they're pretty cool.
Parking may be a little tight. Not terrible, but not abundant. There's a Red Line stop at Roosevelt, and plenty of buses. You decide. I say it's a toss up whether you drive or not.
EVENT: Central American Parade
WHERE: Albany Park
PARADE ROUTE: Steps off at 11 AM on Montrose from California to Kimball
CLOSURES: California Ave. from Irving Park to Montrose, on Montrose from California to St. Louis and on Kimball from Montrose to Wilson.
Parking bans on ALL the above streets go into effect at 8 AM until 3 PM. Get your cars off those streets or you will be towed.
Traffic in that area is going to suck the big one. Parking will be problematic because so much off street parking will be displaced by the parking bans. If you drive, prepare to park far and walk a ways. Of course, there is always public transportation.
When you get past the driving headaches, it does sound fun.
EVENT: Oprahpalooza
WHERE: The Boul Mich
CLOSURES: Starting Monday at midnight and ending Wednesday morning at 5 AM, Michigan Ave. will be closed from Ohio to Wacker Drive.
I just can't wait to hear the traffic reports coming out of this. I gotta think it's going to be chaos. Anytime you have a religious event this big, you're going to have issues. Anytime you close off the major downtown thoroughfare in the nation's third largest city to cater to throngs of brainwashed housewives, you're bound to have trouble.
Starting early Monday morning, avoid North Michigan Ave.
I cannot stress this enough. In fact, read and repeat the sentence above for me.
Got it?
Good!
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