It's Tuesday morning (2-2-10) I am sitting in the office of
Eric L. Chehab in Wilmette, filling out my paper work before our appointment.

My new knee brace.
If the other patients in the waiting room were to try and guess what I was in the Dr. Complex for, I think they would lean towards
detox from a drug addiction or a sleep disorder. My eyes are blood shot, my nose is running, I am nervous and jittery.
The last time I saw
Dr.Chehab was three years ago and the prognosis was grim, I had
microfracture surgery and a whole lot of re-hab. It was a worse case scenario situation, my right knee was kaput.
This time it's my left knee, the right one feels amazing. I am an idiot, I shouldn't be here. If this were one of you, telling me this story, I would give you my "
treat yourself like glass speech." It goes a little something like this, "
you are sacrificing a lot to make it across that finish line, for the next XYZ months, you have to pretend you are made of glass and take extra care of yourself. The last thing you want to do is something stupid and have all of this be for nothing."If I had a dime every time I said that speech...you get the idea. Yet here I am, my knee is swollen like a basketball, I can't put any weight on it, and it is popping and cracking like bubble wrap. I am freaking out. This could actually be
the end, because I didn't listen to my own advice and beat the hell out of myself ice skating!
How I messed it up is for another time over cocktails,
you buy. The point is I should have known better. I have spent almost 3 years working myself back to semi-decent shape, I have access to the most amazing coach
Heather Gollnick and trainer
Craig White, because I was goofing around on the ice, I may have flushed it all down the toilet.
A few short minutes later, I am in the exam room. The nurse has me slip into the most uncool shorts I have yet to see and I can feel my heart pounding in zone 5. I am on the verge of an anxiety attack, as we go through the details and then an Xray.
Finally
Dr. Chehab comes in with the Xray's of my knee. I want to scream, "
cut the chit chat, yes or no!!!" However, we talk over everything. If you are looking for a Dr. with a great bedside manner and dreamy brown eyes,
Dr. Chehab is the guy for you. He is smart, calming and knows how to deal with manic athletes. I am calming down as he breaks the news.
At the end of the day my knee is jacked up, but not enough for surgery(my words, not his). I can feel tears flowing down my face, it sounds a little dramatic, but I love what I do and the thought of not being able to do it was devastating. I have to rest for a month, I can swim, I can bike lightly, I can lift. I can't run, not even with Marathon Dan. Will it set my training back a little? Yes, however I will be able to race, if I am smart.
I
can't and
shouldn't snowboard, bungee jump, leg wrestling or shark dive. This time I was lucky, I am 42, with 5 knee surgeries under my belt, I am blessed to be able to do what I do at any pace and need to remember that part of the whole endurance sacrifice that we all make is the commitment to the lifestyle. I do go to bed early, I don't drink that much, I gave up cigars and I shouldn't be trying to imitate
Apollo Anton Ohno while wearing figure skates!
I
skated disaster this time. I almost let down myself, my coaches, even my family and all the support they have given me to this point. Next time, I will remember to follow my own advice, or at least I'll try.
Let's be careful out there.