An unlikely pair
Today, I got the news that my mentor just died.
I'm really heartbroken. I'm in pieces, actually. What is there to do or say, except to write? The medium we both loved best.
David McClendon was hired at the Chi-town Daily News just a couple of weeks before I started there as an intern. We sat back to back in a small office. On my second day, David got my attention by turning around and poking me in the back of the neck. It was weird, and I remember thinking, "I don't know about this guy... Who pokes their new co-worker in the back of the neck?"
Yeah, I'm terrible with first impressions.
David and I became fast friends. We were an unlikely looking pair.
David was a six foot tall very large black man from New Jersey.
Whenever we went somewhere together, we got quite a few looks. You just
don't see someone who looks like a NFL linebacker and a pre-teen white
girl walking down the streets of Chicago every day.
Moving
here from Michigan, I had a very lonely and difficult autumn. I took an
internship that threw me into the midst of city reporting without much
experience and with few friends.
David was also lonely. He came here on a lark, to learn something about online journalism, but didn't know anyone in the city.
David
was a fine journalist, but he was also a teacher, a coach. He always
said "good job" when I earned it and "better luck next time" when I
deserved it. He gave me my first copy of the AP Style book, and drilled
me on my style points (which I'm still terrible at, but not for lack of
David's effort). He pushed me to do more. When other people looked at
me, they saw a little white girl, too-green to do anything of
substance. But David saw in me the makings of a good reporter. He
intended that I would be one and did all he could to help.
And
then, he got sick. He was sick almost the whole time I knew him. First
it was bronchitis, then pneumonia. David always sounded like Darth
Vader after he climbed one flight of stairs to our office. He coughed
on the phone when I called in my 11 p.m. deadline. When we walked
somewhere, he always had to tell me to slow down. It always seemed just
as he was getting better, he got sick again.
Reporting is a
lonely job. Especially when you have no idea what the hell you are
doing. It's like clawing at a steel door, hoping someday you'll be let
inside. Most days, I felt terrified. If it wasn't for David, I would
have quit.
Last winter, there was my husband, my best-friend
Liz, and there was David. That was all the people I knew well enough to
share anything with.
He only got more sick. In March, he ended
up in the hospital for six days, diagnosed with sarcoidosis of the
lungs and heart. Soon, after, he was let go from his job at the Daily
News.
I cried the day he was fired. I held it together
through our staff meeting, and then halfway through the day, burst into
tears in the bathroom directly adjacent to the newsroom. It was
embarrassing - the last thing you want to be in a room full of male
co-workers is that girl that cried. But I had lost the person that made
my work bearable on the days when it really sucked.
When I
started this blog, David was my biggest supporter. Working without an
editor is tough, and David was still mine, even though we were both
unemployed. He read and corrected, redlined and re-leded. He cheered me
on in my successes and encouraged me when I was down.
The day I launched the blog, he sent me this email:
On Sat, Jun 6, 2009 at 3:43 PM, David McClendon <david.mcclendon@gmail.com> wrote:
I
think this blog has lots of potential, Megan. And because of the
glamour shot, I won't be surprised to see you speaking on the subject
on TV one day. Don't be shy!
One thing I hope you are able to do is personalize the stories.
Always remember to put a face on the issue so readers can relate as
best they can. You have already showed that you can do that. Keep it up.
Keep up the good work! I'll be reading.
David
Sarcoidosis
did a number on David's heart and lungs. He even started a blog about
his struggle. On numerous medications and restrictions, he moved back
to New Jersey to be with his family. He was getting better every day.
Two weeks ago, he called me with the news that his echocardiogram came
back showing significant improvement. We were overjoyed, and I was
planning to take a trip to the East Coast and have David take me to New
York City.
This evening, my dear friend Felicia called me to
say that David had collapsed in the grocery store on a trip to buy
milk. They tried to restart his heart, but it just wouldn't. He was
gone.
I am pretty much a wreck. I may be for awhile. There are
people in your life who help you figure out who you are, who you really
want to be. David was one of those people for me, and knowing he's gone
makes me feel a little more alone, a little less sure.
Sir Issac Newton said, "
If I have been able to see further, it was only because I stood on the shoulders of giants."
Any success I have in writing, any confidence I have in the ability to
report, any feeling in my heart that journalism can make a difference
in the world, I owe it to David.
To my giant, to my mentor and my dear, dear friend: I love you and miss you.
And because of you, I will keep working. I know somewhere you'll be reading.
26 Comments
Flour Girl said:
What a nice remembrance, Megan. I bet David would be proud.
Good job.
Heather
Marian Wang said:
I love you. And you're doing him proud. Rest in peace, David.
Mandy Burrell said:
Megan, I'm sorry for your loss. I know you are going to carry on David's legacy because when I read your blog, I believe you are fulfilling his call to "Always remember to put a face on the issue so readers can relate as best they can." You do that better than most journalists and advocates I know.
Fernando Diaz said:
Journalists don't usually get obituaries, they're saved for the very best. And David was among them. Thanks for your piece Megan. David would be very proud indeed.
Gordon Mayer said:
Megan, that's terrible news. I only met David once, wish I had gotten to know him better. It's always shocking when someone passes so young. Thank you for your piece about David.
Craig Kanalley said:
Very, very sad, but an amazing tribute, Megan.
David will be missed. A sound journalist and I'm glad he could pass on so much good advice to you; the legacy lives on through One Story Up.
Let's always remember him and the great work he did.
natalieymoore said:
megan, what a lovely tribute!
motorman said:
Wow! How fortunate for both you and David to have known each other and worked together. Your story makes me wish to have at least met him, better yet to have worked along side him. You are using his lessons well. My bet is that he would be proud.
Rachel Zawacki said:
He sounds like an amazing man and I'm sorry for your loss. This story really touched me and I can only imagine what a positive change he had on your life. Take care of yourself. Thank you for sharing this. -- Rachel Zawacki
tronsta said:
Hello Megan, this is Ian McClendon, David's cousin. I came across this article and I was truly touched. We all knew David was such a fantastic human being but to hear others outside of the family express their feelings for him and who he was brings much needed comfort. Thank you for taking the time to remember him, it was a beautiful article.
If you don't have already any contact info for the family, feel free to email me at tronsta@gmail.com and I can provide it for you.
frankalready said:
thanks for this. he will be missed.
Catherine Clepper said:
Though I only met him a few times, David always struck me as an amazing man. He dripped with charisma. I'm sure his would be honored by this article, Megan. The world is sadder today by his absence.
Alex Parker said:
David was a great mentor, a wonderful friend and a good person. Thanks for writing this, Megan. He will be missed.
Deborah Lambert said:
Hello Megan:
Thank you so much for your kind words about my son David. He spoke of you often. I was so glad to hear that he clearly had friends that cared about him out there in Chicago. I was so glad to have this time with him, I truly thank you for being David's friend.
dkfunkhouser said:
I can only agree with your assessment of Dave, Megan. I'm a former managing editor of the New Haven Register in CT and knew Dave there from the day he was hired. He was a great guy with a big heart (and the most wonderful laugh), and I'm stunned to hear of his death. I'm sorry for your loss, and ours. Your comments are straight from the heart. I'm sure he'd applaud that, and tell you to keep up the good work! -- DFunkhouser
jack kramer said:
To Dave's friends. Jack Kramer, editor of the New Haven Register here. Just read the column, and it is the David we all know and remember in New Haven. We all had heavy hearts yesterday when we heard the news - as we still think of Dave as part of the Register family. Our deepest sympathy to Dave's family and friends.
Jack Kramer
Viktoria Sundqvist said:
Megan,
This is a wonderful piece about a wonderful man. Dave taught at Quinnipiac in Hamden, CT, and helped me get the foot in the door with the company that I'm currently at. He was the first person to interview me at the New Haven Register, and he always made me laugh whenever I saw him after that.
Your piece made me cry.
Viktoria Sundqvist
Connecticut
Jodie Mozdzer said:
Megan -
Thank you for your tribute to David. I had a hard time dealing with the news, even though I only knew David so briefly.
Your article shows what a big impact David had on so many people who he knew.
When I was an intern at the New Haven Register I had the same experience with David - he was encouraging, honest, a great mentor and friend.
The experience made me decide to become a reporter, and I'm loving the job today.
Even after David moved away to Chicago, we kept in touch and he remained a great mentor.
He really loved journalism and wanted to encourage others to feel the same passion.
I can only imagine how many lives he touched.
Thank you for sharing your feelings in this public forum.
Jodie Mozdzer
Mark Zaretsky said:
Hi Megan,
Really a sweet, heartfelt tribute. Thanks for posting it. I am a reporter at the New Haven Register. I worked alongside Dave for two or three years when we were the two New Haven City Hall reporters here and later after he became city editor.
Dave was very well-respected both among coworkers and people in the community. It was a great loss when he left New Haven, although I took some pleasure when he eventually ended up as a journalist in my hometown, Chicago.
I was in very loose touch with Dave over the last year or so and, like many others, was floored when I learned of his passing. What a shame that he won't live to mentor a few hundred other young journalists like you -- and that I won't get another chance to go back and forth with him about the Giants vs. the Bears!
Rest easy, big guy!
Mark Zaretsky
Rolan said:
Dear Megan - Thank you so much for your beautiful tribute to David. I haven't been able to bring myself to reading the posts - have been avoiding it really because it would make it too real - and I so much want it not to be real. David was one in a million, my love, my life, and you captured his spirit so well. It warms my heart to know how loved he is still. He spoke of you often - he was proud of you and your heart and determination. He will live on in each of us, and for that, and for the love we shared, I am grateful. Rolan Joni Young
StephChang said:
Megan, a beautiful tribute to one of the best friends I've ever had. David and I met as college seniors who were both asked to serve as reporters at the American Society of Newspaper Editors' annual convention in D.C. David was the smartest, most experienced student in the room--he was already stringing for the Philadelphia Inquirer, for godssakes--and I was hoping his brilliance would rub off on me somehow. He was at Temple and I was at Northwestern, but we stayed in very close touch, and figured out a way to work together in the same newsroom, in Rockland County, New York, for several years. There were so many wonderful times while were there, but also many hard ones--the death of his brother, failed relationships for both of us--and through it all, he was my rock. A few months ago, I wrote him to tell him that, and he assured me I was his rock, too. I hadn't been so sure over the years; it wasn't until my dad passed away in 2005 that I truly realized what it meant to lose family, and I wanted to apologize to him, in case I wasn't there for him as much as he needed to be when his brother, Todd, died. His reassurance meant the world to me.
Now, here I sit, stunned beyond belief that he's gone. There's just a handful of people in your life you can call on anytime, even if you haven't spoken to them in years; people you call your closest friends. He was in that circle of mine, and I am heartbroken he is gone. But I feel lucky to have known him at all.
Gayle Williams said:
Megan,
Thank you for your wonderful portrayal of our friend. As I sit here, still sad and stunned about David's death, it warms my heart to know that David was still touching people's souls -- and encouraging young talent like yourself -- just as he did when I met him nearly 20 years ago at The Journal News in Westchester County, NY. I can still hear his laugh, which bubbled with life and mirth. Heck, his whole persona bubbled. And he was just as happy to share that glee with others. That's why he has a zillion friends who love him so. I'm so glad to be one of them. Bless you for capturing the essence of my friend.
aliparmelee said:
Megan,
I am stunned and beside myself. I just saw your article and am speechless. David was a wonderful man. My husband and I became friends with him when he was in New Haven. He was one of our absolute favorite people and we were very sad when he told us he was leaving.
His personality was gigantic and you did a wonderful job capturing it in your tribute. Thank you for your wonderful memories and for sharing.
Mark Zaretsky said:
Hi Megan,
I just read your stories on Lenise Forrest. If you don't mind me saying, I think David would be proud...
emdasher said:
Megan,
You wrote a wonderful tribute to David, I know he would have been so proud. I met David when I was a young copywriter working at a New Haven PR firm. He was a natural mentor and a wonderfully sincere human being. I was so sad to see the news of his passing. The world lost an amazing man. But I think he would have been touched that he left each of us with such lasting memories.
Thank you for writing such a beautiful tribute.
rmontez said:
Megan -
Thank you for the wonderfully written tribute to the gentle giant that was David.
I, too, am a New Haven Register alum. David and I worked on the City Desk. It was clear, even way back then, that David would go on to do great things and touch many lives in the process.
Like you, I had the pleasure of knowing David outside the newsroom as well. I was only a couple years older then David, but it was he who came off like an older brother - genuinely protective though given to occasional roughhousing.
I had some long days in that news room, but I am eternally thankful for guys like David (and our colleague Jack Kramer) who helped me to find courage enough to return the next day. There was wisdom in his words. And yet, on cue, he could summon the humor and deliver it with comedic timing.
When I moved across the country, we lost touch. But earlier this year, while surfing the net, I found a story about his move to Chicago. We exchanged a few e-mails and then, well, life went on. Except that his didn't for much longer.
I'm so happy that in his brief time on this planet, you and I and so many others received the gift that was David. In all his big, bold, bald way, he lives still in us all.
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