Did I Really Just Eat That Entire Pint of Ben & Jerry's?
Photo courtesy of Ben & Jerry's
"Did that really just happen?"
This is what I always say after I've polished off an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream in one sitting -- usually while watching television, sitting on my couch in my underwear -- while roommates slowly nibble at their respective pints.
Look, I love ice cream, OK? It doesn't even feel like you're eating anything because ice cream isn't filling at first. It takes like two hours to realize you've ingested anything, let alone an entire pint. Has this ever happened to you? Because it happens to me with rather shocking frequency.
We'll be sitting on the couch, likely watching "Total Recall" or some other equally badass movie, and someone will say, "Dude, let's get ice cream." And then ten minutes later two or three or all five of us will be in the 7-11 agonizing over whether to go with Cake Batter or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
Personally, my all-time favorite is Half Baked and not just because it's the perfect thing to eat in the eventuality that you take its name literally. Usually about a half-an-hour after purchasing my pint of Half-Baked, I am scraping the bottom of the container with a spoon, and looking up, dazed and shell-shocked, to realize I've just ingested half of my caloric intake for the day.
Let me explain Half Baked. It's got chocolate and vanilla ice cream with chunks of fudge brownies and cookie dough. It's like if a hyperactive little kid jammed your mouth open with a rib spreader and just started dumping in his favorite garbage food.
It's so tasty, I forget where I am or what I'm doing while eating it. It's just me in an endless black void hunting for those little bastard brownie and cookie dough chunks in the midst of this endless sea of flavor.
And of course after I look up, my roommates look at me and say something like, "Gross." Or, "Sick." Or, "I think I'm going to vomit just watching you eat that."
A pint of Half Baked contains--damnit, I didn't even want to look this up--1,080 calories, 52 grams of fat and 32 grams of saturated fat (otherwise known as 156% of what you're supposed to eat in a day).
Even for a strapping Bronco like me, that's a whole lot of nutritional evil (and yes, I just called myself a "strapping Bronco," so just deal with it--or perhaps form a mental image).
Has this ever happened to you? Do you have a food that's so delicious that you literally cannot stop eating it even though you know as you're eating it that you a revolting, unlovable creature who should be strapped into one of those Hannibal Lecter masks to save him from himself?
If so, please let me know in the comments what it is. I don't want to be alone on this.
6 Comments
Jen said:
I'll be honest..I'm appauled, yet intrigued. Your stomach doesn't hurt after eating that pint of delicious garbage?
I really don't eat many crappy foods because of a stupid allergy to wheat (yes, it makes me sorta want to cry too) but I would probably say that pizza or these chocolate chip cookies that you can get at trader joes are my ultimate food love..probably because I can't eat them.
Nobody said:
I have the same problem, only it's a half gallon carton of Edy's mint chip or strawberry ice cream. And instead of eating it to snack while watching tv, it's due to being too damn lazy to cook a proper dinner...
Great going down... not so great an hour later when you remember you're horribly lactose intolerant... You'd think I'd learn by now..
Alli said:
Ben & Jerry's was my ang-sty "I hate High School" escape. My best friend and I used to each buy a pint, tape a piece of paper over the nutrition facts (if you can't see it it doesn't have calories) eat half, then switch. I look back on it and can't beleive I ever did it. In the words of your friends - "gross." Oh and Fish Food is my favorite next to Chubby Hubby.
Shari Weiss said:
I'll take Half Baked and/or Cookie Dough and/or Cake Batter ANY DAY.
EatRightAroundChicago said:
Sounds to me like you're all the way baked.
Well, chubby hubby on the couch, you consumed 1080 calories and 52 grams of fat - 32 grams of which are the "bad" kind. I'm worried that your cherry garcia figure could turn to super fudge chunk and you'll fall off the Markley and become a chunky monkey.
Stop eating those magic brownies or you'll get a cake batter belly and banana split so that your cinnamon buns don't become chocolate chip cookie dough!
Your watchful dietitian,
Jenna
www.chicagonow.com/eatright
Rachel Aguiar said:
I completely agree. I can resist almost any kind of ice cream...except Half Baked. It was a sad day when I finally worked up the courage to look at the nutrition info. In fact, it depressed me so much I wanted to eat another pint. :)
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