5 Rules For Your New Battery Operated Boyfriend

Should we compare toys with boys?

No, it would be unfair to boys. There are some vibes on the market that feel pretty close to real skin. Jelly and rubber-made vibes feel great, but vibes made of silicone are the closest to skin that you can get. Silicone is non-porous, hypo-allergenic and it feels realistic because it reaches and maintains your body temperature. It's more expensive than the traditional sex toys, but it's worth it. Cyber skin vibes have a realistic, fleshy texture as well. They are a less expensive alternative to silicone.

Should first-timers just dive right in and try any vibe they want? 

Of course, curiosity is good, but newbies should steer clear of the popular rabbit vibe, you may throw your back out and get an advanced case of carpal tunnel all in under an hour. HIGHLY ADDICTIVE. For newbies, there are personal stimulators that you lay directly on your hot spot. These are very discreet vibes; some are shaped like eggs, others are shaped like lipstick or butterflies; these vibes are the most popular choice for newbies.  

Should women get creative, with their new B.O.B.?

Oh, YES! A common tactic is to delve into a little role play and name your vibe after a sexy celebrity or your office crush. That way, you can make love to the man of your dreams any time you wish. Don't get too creative and call his name; that happened to me when I was making love to one of my ex-husbands. He said if I EVER called him Liberace again it was over. Well, it happened... 

 What is the game plan if we're caught with B.O.B.?

You calmly tell your mate that, In fact, B.O.B. is helping you to improve your sex life. Your toy can help you to practice your Kegel vaginal strengthening exercises. And, if he's still upset, show him how strong you are now.

Are there certain places where you shouldn't use your toy?

Never  under water, use your real boy for that. However, there are waterproof toys on the market; these toys have an additional protective seal and casing around the batteries. If your toy does not specifically STATE that it's waterproof, then it isn't and please don't use it under water. And never, EVER, wear those discreet panty toys while in your car-for very obvious reasons-I wonder if we should rally for legislation on that no-no.

"One last thing about toys," Ms. Va-Va  Bloom says.  "You can spot a woman who has one; she's happier, less demanding and the multiple orgasms give her a telltale glow. So get a B.O.B., and a feather boa!"



*Judy Va-Va Bloom Bloomberg and Friends: (South Suburban News, Bag the Runway, Soleil's To-Dos!, Think Royally, Lisa the Pedicurist, Kiss & Make Up w/Intimate Evenings, Carl West,Karyn M. Grice, and Girls & Toys) are hosting Explorgasm:  Live Your Best Sex Life! A Women's-Only Health event and toy party to take place on  10.20.2010 at Red Kiva.