DUMMIES IN THE NEWS!

As I write this, I am struck by the number of Dummies In The News stories that have been presented to us by our friends in the media over the past few days.  Now, I must add that the opportunities for my friends and I to engage in this funny diversion has been diminished as one of my friends, who was a Master of all things funny, recently passed away. 

And so, in keeping with the spirit of the Dummies In The News concept, I now share a few of the funny things recently in the news that have captured my attention and tickled my funny bone:

- WASHINGTON, D.C. (12-09-09) - Sarah Palin's op-ed piece in Washington Post on this weeks Copenhagen Climate Summit: In his inaugural address, President Obama declared his intention to "restore science to its rightful place." But instead of staying home from Copenhagen and sending a message that the United States will not be a party to fraudulent scientific practices, the president has upped the ante. He plans to fly in at the climax of the conference in hopes of sealing a "deal."Without trustworthy science and with so much at stake, Americans should be wary about what comes out of this politicized conference. The president should boycott Copenhagen."

MY THOUGHTS: Is there anyone in America, in the world for that matter, who would honestly consider in-put from Sarah Palin, on an important scientific issue, to be taken seriously?  I'm just askin'. 

- MARIETTA, OH (12-02-09) - DONATED JUG CONTAINS POT: Police said whoever donated a water jug to GOODWILL INDUSTRIES in southeast Ohio probably didn't mean to be so generous.  The jug contained about $1,500 worth of marijuana.

- CHARLOTTE, N.C. (12-08-09) - Authorities charged a North Carolina woman with selling moonshine out of her day care center:  The Charlotte Observer reported Tuesday that North Carolina Alcohol Law Enforcement arrested a 57-year-old woman last week at Parkview Community Center in Charlotte.

Agents said children were in the day care center when they sent in an undercover agent to buy two gallons of moonshine.

- NYC, NEW YORK (12-08-09) - Dick Cheney on FOX News speaking as to why the NYC 9/11 Trial is a 'Huge Mistake': "Everybody is watching. The Taliban are watching, the Al Qaeda are watching, the Afghans who are on our side are watching, and when they see hesitation, uncertainty, lack of clarity from an American president, they begin to think the Americans aren't going to be here very long."
 
"He'll be able to go in whenever he's up on the stand and proselytize, if you will, millions of people out there around the world including some of his radical Muslim friends and generate a whole new generation of terrorists."   
 
(Obama is) "a hero in certain circles, especially in the radical regions of Islam around the world."  

MY THOUGHTS: Is there a sane human being (anywhere) that values any utterance from the voice-box of Dick Cheney.  For real though? 

- FRANKLIN, N.J. (12-10-09) - Man Dressed Up As Mother To Steal From Bank:
25-year-old Tita Nyambi, of Franklin, N.J., drove up to the drive-through window of the bank and handed over his mother's driving license and a forged bank form.

Bank employees quickly became suspicious that the man dressed in women's clothing and speaking in a high-pitched voice was not in fact Mrs. Nyambi, and called the police.

- DUNNELLON, FL (12-10-09) - Woman Hits Man With Raw Steak: A 53-year-old Dunnellon, FL woman has been arrested after alledgedly hitting a man in the head with a raw steak.

According to a Marion County Sheriff's Office report, the man told deputies that Elsie Egan repeatedly hit him with the uncooked meat and slapped his face after he refused a piece of sliced bread.The man indicated that Egan was his live-in girl friend.

- CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND (12-09-09) - German Tourist Caught Smuggling Lizards In His Underwear: A German tourist has been caught trying to leave New Zealand with 23 geckos and 20 skinks hidden in his underwear, a court heard on Monday.
 
The package contained eight separate compartments separating various gecko and skink species," he said.
Hans Kubus, 58, was stopped at Christchurch Airport on Sunday after checking in, and was searched by customs staff.

A small package containing the reptiles was found in his underwear, prosecutor Mike Bodie told the Christchurch District Court on Monday. "The package contained eight separate compartments separating various gecko and skink species," he said.

Kubus' luggage also contained a single gecko in a rolled-up sock.

A total of 24 geckos were found from five different species, as well as 20 skinks from two species.