Little Moby Homemaker: Domestic God

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Father's (Day) Knows Best

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Moby Homemaker

I am an out of work "At Home Dad" who has risen from the ashes like an overweight, over worked, under paid phoenix to become a "Domestic God"

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Having just completed another round of successful Mother's Day activities and celebration, this Domestic God has made the determination that Father's Day kicks the shit out of Mother's Day!  Of course, for obvious reasons, I prefer Father's Day--but beyond the mere fact that I, myself, am a father and reap the benefits of said day--I  am also not on the hook for presents, meals, get togethers, etc. for that most special of Hallmark holidays.

The bottom line, whether Moms bring it upon themselves or not, Mother's Day is a total bitch for Mommys.  Case in point--my wife and our children's loving Mother, Mrs. Homemaker.  In the days leading up to the actual Mother's Day itself, like many others in her position, I watched my wife frantically making various arrangements.  She was picking up gifts for her loved ones, picking up groceries for various food preparations, and scheduling the several meals that had to occur to properly celebrate the wonder of Motherhood.  It looked absolutely horrifying to me.  Of course, I helped--a little.

See, I am a firm believer that a Dad's job on Mother's Day is to be sure that the cards, presents and all other accoutrements are properly readied.  I am also responsible for the preparation and clean up of all meals that day.  In this Domestic God's humble opinion, Mother's Day should then be her's--to be served, relax and do whatever the hell she wants.

But, noooo!!!  For Moms, Mother's Day is constant adulation and face time with family members (nearly to the point of annoyance).  For example, my wife shared a lovely lunch with her mother. a beautiful dinner with her step mother...not to mention a tasty breakfast and incessant bombardment of "love' from our two sons.  It went on for hours and hours and hours... As they day wore on, I could see my wife becoming increasingly exhausted and soon her demeanor bordered on a total transformation to complete bitchdom.  Who can blame her?  The motherly duties of her Mother's Day were enough to make anyone (Mother or otherwise) mental!

Compare that day of honor to Father's Day.  Father's Day, simply stated, is the day I get to do whatever the fuck I want--with whomever I want.  There's no get togethers, no presents and no unnecessary meals. There's no pageantry whatsoever. Usually, my Father and I slip just out-of-town for a nice day of quiet golf.  It's quite lovely.  We have a couple of beers, a light lunch and 5-7 hours away from the bustle and chaos of our loving families.  That is a gift!!!  It is a true honor!!!

When my Dad and I return home from our golf game, there might be a few cards from the kids, a couple small gifts and a nice dinner--usually on the grill.  I have no trouble cooking for my family on Father's Day--because I had some wonderful time away!!!

Mothers, let me give you some friendly advice.  If I were in your boat, I would start asking for my family to get me something like  a "spa day" as a Mother's Day gift.  A day away from your family for a few hours in which you can relax, reflect, recharge and not become a worn out dragon woman on your most special of days!!!  As a husband/father, I (and many others) will endorse and happily embrace this idea.  It will keep us men out of those horrible flower shops, keep us from running from place to place with you on your "special" day and keep our wives from totally bitching out!!!  It sure sounds like a win-win, doesn't it, Ladies?

That's the best advice I have for all you Mothers out there.  Because unless you are all ready to make the Chaz Bono commitment, you're stuck with Mother's Day--as it stands.  This Domestic God believes that you should  take a lead from Father's Day and truly enjoy your day--in peaceful and stress free solitude!!! Because if things keep going the way they are, I may petition Hallmark to change the name from "Mother's Day" to "Holy Shit, Our Mother Has Turned Into A Total Bitch, Day".

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1 Comment

Daisy said:

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I like your idea of a spa day A LOT, Moby, but I don't see it happening for me. As a daughter I am still duty bound to try and make Mother's day special for my mom, my mother-in law, and my step mother-in-law (lucky me--two MIL's!) :\ And yes, I need to spend time with my sons so they can celebrate the day with me too. Oh well, maybe some OTHER day I can go to a spa. That would be nice.
Golfing with your Dad--that's a nice way to celebrate. :-)

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