Mm-hmm. Men targeting at least a 200 lb. drop in weight are invited to audition, and for women's weight loss the goal is 150 lbs.
Photo: Flickr user Robert S. Donovan
We take your extreme weight loss show casting, ABC, and raise you one COOKIE BAR.
That's right, thanks to the buzz on Twitter (which is, by the way, an excellent resource for keeping an eye out on the mood of Lincoln Park locals), we have discovered a Chicago Magazine article that has got 60614 positively tempted by the newest bar-concept to sprout in a long time.
Between the "mmmm"-tweets and the very honest "oh crap"-tweets, several Lincoln Parkers are salivating for the bakery aptly named Cookie Bar, which has taken over 2475 N. Lincoln Avenue, an ex-Starbucks. An opening in December will hopefully mean excellent first-month revenue, and cookie consumption in Lincoln Park to raise 1000 percent over last year's holiday figures.
Trending dairy- and gluten-free options will glow in the cases beside such seductive flavors as oatmeal-mango-chile-macadamia nut.
What are the implications of a controversial cookie bar opening in Lincoln Park? We're anticipating several problems:
Girl Scout snubbery. If Girl Scouts didn't already have it hard enough with their sales managers breathing fire down their wee little necks every cookie season, how will they face down the advantage of the cookie elite?
Swirlz Cupcakes and Sweet Mandy B's, this is war. According to Yelp, and learning on DePaul's campus that binging on Sweet Mandy B's is considered a neighborhood rite-of-passage, Lincoln Park already has extremely popular sweet shops. How will they compete? Don't worry, we'll be soliciting exclusive deals for our readers from Mandy B and the cupcake captain soon.
My hand is raised, too. Still fighting the "freshman 15" that not-so-punctually struck during my stressful senior year of college, and now working on a Lincoln Park hyperlocal blog, where else am I going to find my audience after this calorie-trap opens?
Cookie Bar, this is all in jest. Until I get indigestion. Lincoln Park Now would like to welcome you to the neighborhood. And if any N.I.M.B.Y. protests are staged in opposition to inviting cookie monsters into Lincoln Park, please, send us a tip.
Until then, we've got our red-carpet rolled out to you, and look forward to the oven-roasted controversy to heat up Lincoln Park this December.
As an added bonus, the first Lincoln Park customer to donate at least one dozen cookies to one of Lincoln Park's miracle works, such as Children's Memorial Hospital, and to prove it to us, we will profile you, good neighborhood citizen, if you're interested in making yourself maybe not-even-D List famous or plugging your thriving Lincoln Park business.
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