Game thread Archives

What do you mean "I have to play well in 4 more games before I'm off the hook?"

Only 7 more games until we can officially start looking ahead to "next year." Tonight, in an epic battle for the ages, CC Sabathia will take on Cliff Lee. I don't care what team you cheer for, if you care about baseball in any way, this is one you don't want to miss.

Hello, cubbiejulie? Since you didn't have any Cubs threads today, would you consider having a Bears thread tonight? I could really use the support.  

Awwwww. Anything for you, Pretty Boy.

Bears @ Dirty Birds 7:00 CT/8:00 ET NBC.

Gaines Adams, Adrian Peterson, Hunter Hillenmeyer, D.J. Moore all inactive tonight.

Bear down!

You have to admit, Ryan Howard has a great smile.

So yeah, the NLCS starts tonight, and, once again, our team is home watching it on TV. Hell, even our fake team is home watching it on TV. And that's depressing.

On the other hand, I won't feel at all guilty for missing the first 3 innings while I watch "Flashforward." So there's that.

Something in my biological makeup keeps me from cheering for the Dodgers. Like. . . . ever. I just can't get behind a team whose fans don't show up until the 3rd inning. Or whose fanbase suffers from a dog-like devotion to Tommy LaSorda.

At any rate, it's playoff baseball, so I'll be watching. Though begrudgingly.

Just out of idle curiousity, will you be watching? If so, who are you cheering for?

 

Tonight's game starts at 7:07 CT on FOX. We go from Chip and Ron Darling to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. I thought America didn't believe in torture, FOX!

Lineups to come.

  

Check out the extension on our catcher.  

Hey guys! Is everyone excited for the big game tonight? I know I am--and I just know we're going to win. Because it would be ludicrous for our team to be swept out of the playoffs three years in a row, right? I mean, that would almost be like there was something wrong with US, instead of the team. Right?

RIGHT?!

To be honest, I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through this again. So let's all huddle together, hold each other, and hope for the best.

Whoever has their hand on my ass needs to remove it. I said "hold" each other, not "grope" each other. Jeez.

94 West and Just Follow the Signs

(and no, it's not Houston)

 

Who will it be? Captain of the football team? Artsy drama club guy? The dreamy quiet guy who just wants to be left alone with his music?

 

LOHO's 2009 Postseason Mystery Date is. . . .

Only one more day until we find out who we're fake cheering for ! I can't wait--can you?

If you want a chance to control LOHO's collective postseason loyalties, you still have 18 hours to place your bid! Cardinals fans need not pay attention to this listing.

So tonight is the highly-anticipated Twinks v. Tigers matchup. Winner goes on to postseason glory, loser goes home wrapped in a cloak of shame. Will Joe Mauer be the hero Minnesota has longed for since the days of. . um. . . who? Dave Winfield? Will Miguel Cabrera go completely insane in the dugout and try to ride Justin Verlander around while making chicken noises? Will Minnesota fans EVER acknowledge that there's a swastika on the roof of their stadium?

Tune in tonight to find out.

Game time is 4:07 CT/5:07 ET. Hopefull I'll be back from "Cloudy With a Chancel of Meatballs (in 3D!!!! ugh) by then.

I have no idea what channel this game is on. Additionally, could someone help out with the lineups?

 

It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped, and summer was gone.

---Bart Giamatti

And so another season ends, Cubs fans.

Unlike our first two years together, this year eneded with a merciful whimper. Well, I guess it ended with a whimper the last few seasons, too, but it was a whimper that came after the NLDS, rather than the regular season.

Summer in the City

Photo courtesy Chicago Tribune

Let's try this again. This time, with a better lineup.

In the second half of this day/night double header, Z (9-6, 3.69) takes on Jeff Karstens (3-5, 5.45).  Z's fresh off a spectacular outing. Let's hope he can give us another tonight. To be honest, I think his ego could use it.

In hilarious news, at least one Cub wants REEDZ back next year. Under his jersey today, Ted was sporting a t-shirt emblazoned with "With Reed We Will Succeed." "I believe that," Lilly told reporters.

I'm so with Ted on this one.

Happily, Derrek Lee says he's fine after fouling a ball off his foot. He's back in the lineup tonight.

In corresponding bad news, it looks like Aramis might be done for the year. His shoulder is sore and really bothering him. The Cubs haven't gone so far as to say he's "shut down." Yet.

Speaking of the lineup, it looks like this: Fuld (cf), Theriot, Lee, Hufflepuff (lf), Baker (3b), REEDZ (rf), Fontenot, Hill, Z.

Game time is 7:05 on CSN+.

Don't forget to go bid for the postseason rental of LOHO! You win, you get to pick our postseason team!

All Hail Ted.

 As you can probably guess from the photo, Ted Lilly Fan Club won LOHO's 2009 Fantasy Baseball League.

This photo was the price he exacted for his victory.

Actually, it works out great for me, because it just so happens that Ted (12-8. 3,02) will pitch the first game for the Cubs today. He'll be taking on Charlie Morton (4-9, 5.01), who I kind of vaguely remember from other beat downs the Cubs gave the Pirates this season.

Hey, if you missed the big announcement post below, LOHO's postseason loyalty is up for auction on Ebay. Highest bidder gets to pick our post-season team. If there's a team you really, really, REALLY want us to cheer for, you'd better get busy promoting this auction to said team's fans! Only 6 days left!

Today's lineup for game 1:  theriot, fukudome, baker (3b), hufflepuff (1b), fox (lf), scales (rf), soto, blanco, lilly.

Game time is 1:05 pm on WGN. Game two is at 7:05 on CSN+.

Let's enjoy this last week. . . together.

So, folks this is a do it yourself gamethread.  Nuthin' fancy here.  It's just the Cubs against the Pirates.  Unfortunately, it's no longer International Talk Like a Pirate Day,  but feel free to tell pirate jokes, since it annoys gravedigger so much.

It's Dempster against Kevin Hart today, so this could be fun!

(Julie pipes up, just in from soccer practice): As this is probably the night we are eliminated, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it will NOT be fun, but maybe that's just me. Also, having just turned on the game, I can see that Mike Fontenot is starting, and that is definitely not fun. Oh, and we're playing the Pirates, so there's that.

On the other hand, we're already up 3-0 in the bottom of the 1st, so that's kinda fun. As long as it stays that way.

Thanks to their third win in a row, a 6-2 victory over the Giants, the Cubs have lived to see another day.  Another fun fact?  The Giants have never been swept in four games at home by the Cubs since relocating to San Francisco.  Maybe this will keep your attention.

Of course, some attribute the Cubs' winning streak to the absence of Milton Bradley (who, if ESPN is to be believed, could be headed to the Rays).  It's true that they have won six of seven since he's been gone.  I just hesitate to draw too many conclusions. 

Randy Wells (11-9, 3.00) is going up against the equally young Matt Cain (13-7, 2.99), who is enduring a three-game slump.  

Thus, those who don't give a crap about the Bears (I will watch them, but only because I'll be at a friend's party, and the Vikings are playing right now) can tune into WGN at 3:05pm CDT to see if the Cubs can continue to be technically still in the midst of the wildcard hunt.  Who knows - maybe the Cubs will surprise everyone and.....whatever.  Just know that the game is on, and that the Cubs can mess with the Giants' wildcard chances.

On a final note, does the Cubs' recent play seem a little too late to make much of a difference?  Leave it to Jake Fox (a man who drove in two runs yesterday) to put a silver lining on that for you.

We're catching fire late, but wished it would have happened sooner," said Fox. "At the same time it's good to see it now because it's something to build on in the offseason."

Sigh. So dreamy.

Look, FOX. Let's get a few things straight.

I've put up with a lot of crap from you over the years. From having to listen to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver call baseball games to having to listen to Joe Buck and Chris Collinsworth call football games. I also had to listen to Verne Lundquist refer to my team as the "Cowboys" during the 2007 post-season.

I think I've been pretty patient with your little joke of an "A" broadcasting team, especially this season, when McCarver's insanity seems to have risen to previously unimagined heights. So let me get right to the point: You owe me big time. It's one thing to watch the Cubs' season-long tank into baseball mediocrity. It's quite another to do so with Tim McCarver blathering away in the background.

This is the last time the Cubs will be on FOX this season, so let me be blunt:

 I want Karros.

Give me what I want, and we'll call it even. Then we can both toddle off into football season pretending that you don't know how much 90% of America hates Joe Buck.

 

(wipes tears from eyes) Oh, that clip never gets old.

As you guys know (and btw, sorry about that), millertime and I have been constantly sparring over . . . a certain Cub for the last several months, on a seemingly interminable basis. I've finally run out of gass on this issue, and I desire to never discuss it again. So, by way of an olive branch, I'm giving millertime the Star Wars-themed game thread he's longed for.

By way of an even BIGGER peace offering, I give millertime the story of Milton's time with the Chicago Cubs (as millertime sees it):

Lou: For over a thousand generations, the Chicago Cubs were the guardians of peace and justice in the NL Central... before the dark times... before the St. Louis got a ballclub. Over time, a young rookie, who was a pupil of mine, until he turned to evil, helped the Cardinals hunt down and destroy the Chicago Cubs. He betrayed and murdered your our chance at a division title. Now, decent Cub players are all but extinct.

(Milton walks into the clubhouse, full of hope and light. As he sets his bag down in front of his locker, a huge, wild-eyed, Hispanic pitcher with stupid highlights starts screaming at Milton in a language he doesn't understand):

Ryan Dempster: [explaining] He doesn't like you.

Milton: Sorry.

Ryan Dempster: I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.

Milton: I'll be careful.

Dempster: You'll be dead! Ta-da!

BTW, if you missed hilarious Patton Oswalt rant about the prequels that Ed posted. check it out here.

All right, I'll admit it. It's a bit obnoxious to watch this club play as well as they have the past few games NOW, as opposed to oh. . .  three weeks ago. Despite the witty and highly entertaining banterthat takes place on EVERY LOHO game thread, I can understand if you're grasping for reasons to stay plugged in to this team.

Lo, I give you Ten Reasons to Watch Tonight's Cubs/Brewers Game:

10.    Fat Vegetarians: Will we ever tire of making fun of Prince Fielder and his giant pants? Or the fact that consuming two bags of Doritos and a 2-liter of Mountain Dew for dinner doesn't necessarily make you a "vegetarian?" Sure, it's all rooted in a desperate wish that he played for our team, but it's fun nonetheless. After the season we've had, we're entitled to a little  fun at the expence of others.

9.      Corey Hart: Last night he crashed into another OFer and fell down. That alone made the whole game worth it.

8.      Tyler Colvin: Will the future HOF-er continue his domination of Milwaukee pitching? Tune in tonight and find out!

7.      Brewers fans: Even though they've  stopped going to games, they're still pissed off that we haven't. The looks of unmitigated hatred while they stuff their faces with cheese curds and swill beer at an alarming rate are priceless.

I've spent most of the day scouring the personals for a RFer to fill in for Milty while he finishes his time in the corner. What? You don't seriously expect Lou to keep running Jake Fox out there, do you?

Rather than post the links to every possibility I've found, I decided to edit them all together into a montage. Please watch carefully:

 

 

Be a good citizen! Help Jim Hendry find out next RFer by voting below:

poll by twiigs.com

Photo courtesy Chicago Tribune

This is what I've been afraid of all along.

As you've probably heard by now, Milton Bradley was suspended by the Cubs for the rest of the season following a couple of incidents over the last few days.

No doubt, there are many people out there blaming the fans, the Cubs, and the media for Bradley's failure. In their eyes, everyone was out to get Bradley from the start, he was never given fair shake, and this is just more proof of the inherent idiocy and racism in Chicago sports fans.

Several weeks ago, LOHO did a podcast on Cubs fans and racism. Anticipating the "Milton deserves a second chance" and "How come fans don't get as down on Zambrano and Lilly for the same kind of thing!" arguments, I prepared the following. It's a history of Milton's time in professional baseball.

I in no way intend this to further dismantle Milton's already very tarnished reputation, but rather to make the point that, rather than being a victim, Milton is a person who has had far more chances in life than most of us simply because he can hit a baseball.

Let's take a look:

•  April 1, 1999: While playing in Montreal's minor league system, Milton was suspended after he spit on an umpire following an ejection for charging the mound.

• July 19, 2000: Milton's MLB debut with the Expos

• July 31, 2001: Milton traded to Cleveland after one year with the big club

• Sometime in 2002: Milton is  removed by police from a Cleveland Restaurant after he refuses to leave, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

• During the 2003 season, Bradley has "run-ins" with Paul Lo Duca and Jason Giambi, and reportedly had baseball cards of them taped above his locker in Cleveland

• During the 2003 season, Bradley reportedly tossed his helmet and bat in the direction of Bruce Froemming.

• September/October, 2003: Milton is pulled from a game afteran altercation with manager Eric Wedge, stemming from Wedge's allegation that Milton failed to run out a pop-up.  

• February, 2003: Bradley is sentenced to 3 days in jail for yelling at and then driving away from a police officer who was attempting to give him a ticket for speeding. 

• March, 2004: Milton is barred from Indian's training camp after Wedge again pulls Milton aside and tells him he failed to run out a pop-up. While all sides state the exchange was not heated, the Indians claim the disrepect Milton showed to Wedge in front of his teammates was the last straw

There are a lot of things wrong with this weekend.

I'm a single parent until Sunday afternoon. Brian Urlacher will not be playing football. I can't get FB chat to work properly. I'm out of Nutella. I really need a pedicure. Aaron Miles continues to be allowed to play baseball.

Accordingly, I plan to be about 2/3 of the way into a bottle of wine by the 4th inning of tonight's game. If you don't come hang out for the game, you might want to come for the entertainment. In some of my finer moments, I've been known to bang out a few gems, such as "Ben Sneets is stupidoil."

If you can remember as far back as a month ago, this seemed like it was going to be a huge series. Unfortunately, thanks to the 2009 Cubs, it's not. But the fact remains that it's still a Cubs/Cards series, which is always worth watching, if for no other reason than the chances of a bench-clearing brawl are significantly higher than normal.

 

Photo coutesy Chicago Tribune

Sniff.

I want so badly to believe this isn't true.

From the Chicago Tribune:

"

The Cubs are shutting down Rich Harden for the rest of the year.

Harden, who has struggled with his command the last three starts, including Wednesday's 71-pitch, three-inning outing, is being replaced in the rotation.

Manager Lou Piniella said Tom Gorzelanny would replace Harden in his next start on Monday and the Cubs would make plans afterwards.

But sources said Harden is done for 2009 and may have thrown his last pitch as a Cub, unless he re-signs as a free agent."

If we lose both Harden and Reedz to free agency, I'm not sure what my reason, as a woman, will be for watching this team next season. As a baseball fan, I'll probably stick around

Today Randy Wells (10-8, who has had control problems lately, too! Why don't we just shut HIM down as well?!?!?!?) will take on Dave Bush and his horrible beard. Yet another example of what NOT to do with your beard, fellows. No girl ever found Grizzly Adams sexy. This beard might not be Grizzly Adams yet, but it's at least Mountain Man and you can see Grizzly Adams from here.

 

Worried about Sam Fuld being out for a week? Terrified about our lack of scrappy OFs to fill his shoes?

Fear not, Cubs fans. Help is on the way!

The Cubs called up So Taguchi from Triple-A Iowa, and he will be in uniform for Wednesday's game against the Brewers. Taguchi batted .248 for Iowa with four homers and 24 RBIs. The Cubs felt they needed an extra outfielder after Sam Fuld strained his right thumb. Fuld will be sidelined at least a week.

Taguchi, 40, played for the Phillies last season, appearing in 88 games and batting .220.

So, as you can see, we have nothing to worry about. What more could we ask for than a guy who hit .248 at AAA?

 

I’m no good at statistics, but I believe the Cubs will be watching the post-season on TV with the rest of us.  (Note to readers: it is extremely unlikely that any of the Cubs will be coming to your house. Perhaps Spellcheck, but only if you have a kegger.)  

We stand 6.5

 back with 20 games remaining, so have optimism if you want.  I choose whiskey.

 

That said, I still want them to win.  Win, damn you! 

Figure the lineups out yourselves.  I have whiskey to attend to.

 

Ryan Braun would like you to buy this douchey t-shirt.

If this season had gone another way, we could all have been super-duper excited for this game. Alas, unless Colorado, San Fran, Florida, and Atlanta undergo collapses the likes of which the world has not seen since 1969, it's just another boring series at the end of a disappointing year.

Believe it or not, we've actually picked up a few games in the WC race, now finding ourselves 7.5 back with 21 left to play.

On the other hand, if the Cubs decide to take out some of their long-simmering frustration on the Brewers, this series could be a big pile of awesome.

Think about it. How much would you love to see Corey Hart beaned in the goodies? Or Milty go, head down, into Kendall at home?

I would like it a lot. It's almost enough to make me wish Ryan Braun was playing. I'd give a lot of things up to see him pull a Sam Fuld into the wall. Oh relax! Ryan will be fine. If he's permanently disfigured and unable to play baseball, he can always fall back on selling his Ed Hardy knock-off t-shirts, the prime customer for which appears to be Jon Gosselin.

 

I couldn't come up with a good caption, so I'm making you do it. To me, it screams something about Harden showing Rothschild/Rasputin the proper way to hold a girl while doing the merengue, but I couldn't quite put it into words. I know you can. Don't let me down.

Hey, now that we spent all day yesterday getting the hate our of our systems, I can point out that we've got a nice little win streak going here. What? Three games is a "streak," especially this season.

 I don't know whose idea it was to have a game start before noon on Labor Day Monday, following one of the biggest party nights of the entire year, but it was a STUPID idea.

That said, this is a stupid team and they're going to play another stupid team, so perhaps it's all very fitting.

Today the Cubs take their flaccid bats into PNC park to take on the Pirates. I'd be tempted to say "Hey, if you can't beat the Pirates, you might as well pack it in," if we hadn't already said that about the Nats, Astros, and Mets.

I don't want to hear any more BS about how this team thinks they're still in it and they haven't quit.

They've totally quit.

Bob Brenley pointed out that he's seen an increase in selfish ABs from this bunch recently, and I tend to agree. Rather than working counts, trying to get on base, and put people in position to score some runs, we've seen a lot of Fukudome-esque corkscrew swings. You know, the "if we can't win this game I'm at least going to pad my stats with some HRs" kind of swings. I hate those kind of swings.

I can't believe you guys are being such jerks about LOHO's switch to following women's college lacrosse.

EXCUUUUUUUSE me for trying to take this blog to a happier, more zen place. But if you guys want to be subjected to his craptacular team and their dislocated ability to play baseball, then fine. Enjoy the rest of the season.

Today pretty boy Rich Harden (who is currently 8-8, but would probably be 28-0 on any other team) will face Nelson Figueroa (who is 2-3 and seems like he gave the Cubs an old-fashioned beatdown rather recently. You know, like 4 days ago?).

Game time is 12:10 pm CT on Comcast sports channel. I suppose I can come up with a lineup, if you're really interetested.

I still think women's college lacrosse is a good idea.

Jerks. 

Greetings! And welcome to your live game thread for this evening! I'm delighted to be your host for tonight's contest.

I was on my way to tea at the Four Seasons in grand New York City when I heard that my required headgear is making quiet a splash around town. Alas, here I am, reading and waiting for the accolades I'm certain will shortly come my way.

Unfortunately, it seems I have to endure some sort of . . . athletic contest in order to witness the Gazoo-insprired fashion craze make its debut. Alas, I'm stuck sitting in this wretched athletic stadium watching a bunch of dum-dums try to hit a ball with a stick, and then run around in circles like a bunch of madman.

Ah, but we have to suffer for vanity my friends. It will be worth all the suffering once the entire world sees this. And realizes it was inspired by none other than MOI!

 

"So I said 'I don't know what you want me to do! I call everyone a fag!'"

Though it's odd for it to come in September, today is one of those rare days when we forget about the Cards, forget about the wild card race, forget about who should stay and who should go, and focus on one thing and one thing only: Beating the #$@#$@%*@$@#$@ White Sox.

This is the part where a bunch of people jump in and say they like the White Sox just fine, you shouldn't root against a team from your city, there's no reason we can't cheer for both teams, yada, yada, yada.

Take it somewhere else, Chester. I don't want to hear it.

 

After singlehandledly taking down Gmail &Twitter yesterday (and then giving both back to teach us the true meaning of summer), Ted Lilly prepares to lead the Cubs on a playoff charge the likes of which the world has never seen. You might want to set your DVRs for the remaining BBTNs this season, because people are going to be going out of their freakin' minds.

I'm not sure what we or the Cubs were supposed to learn from this August tank or being pushed to the very brink of post-season contention, but I do know this: When Ted feels like we've learned our lesson, everything will turn around. And I know not to question the ways of Ted, because the last time I did that he took Reed Johnson away. Whatever lesson Ted wants us to learn, I'm sure we deserve it.

Over?  Who says this is over?  I am sick and tired of you sad sacks whining and complaining.  Technically speaking, the Cubs are nowhere near mathematically eliminated.  Do you realize how many freaking years that mathematical elimination has been a done deal by Labor Day? 

Now I am not saying that this is the beginning of a month-long winning streak that ends with the Cubs atop the NL Central.  Nor am I saying that the Cubs will suddenly stop BLOWING &$#%@ LEADS IN THE 8TH AND 9TH INNINGS.  What I am saying is that the facts are what they are.  Statistical analysis and breakdown is too much work for me.  Plus, I go from the gut, baby.  

 

Thus, below you will find the things that I will think about (other than naked ladies and free beer) while the Cubs begin their potentially triumphant September.

 

The deadline has passed. Much to the elation of women and Cubs fans who enjoy quality starts, Rich Harden is still a Cub.

In related news, Aaron Heilman is also, inexplicably, still a Cub. Then again, the fact that someone claimed Heilman off waivers is even more inexplicable. I continue to maintain that this was some drunken GM's idea of a joke.

What's more interesting is what keeping Harden means for the Cubs. While I tend to believe that it's not significant of anything more than the Cubs and Twinks not being able to come to terms on a trade, everyone else seems to think it means that Hendry and the Cubs think they're still in it and that they're making a run for the wild card.

Someone should let the players know that making a run for the WC generally means putting a win streak together.

Get Well Soon, Big Guy (photo courtesy Chicago Tribune)

I am ecstatic over the cool, breezy, fall-like weather in Chicago today. After sharing my love for the weather with LOHO buddy/haiku-extrordinaire Ed, who runs the fabulous blog Chicago Sports In Haiku, I got this little gem back from him:

Cool weather is nice/

We can pretend we're watching/Cubs

in October

Hear, hear. This is probably as close as we're going to get this season.

Many of you will be happy to hear that the Cubs have moved up Fonzi's MRI to today. My source tells me he's already headed off to the imaging center and the Cubs hope to have the results back before gametime today. 

Depending on what the MRI shows, Fonz might consider getting a cortisone shot in his knee (ouch), which would sideline him for 2-3 days (that's how painful the shot is.

More from mlb.com's Carrie Muskat:

 

Originally planned for Sept. 10 before being moved to Monday, an MRI of Cubs left fielder Alfonso Soriano's balky left knee was moved again to Saturday, as the club hopes to find the root of pain that affects the 33-year-old when he runs but not when he hits.

Soriano missed the Cubs' series finale against the Dodgers on Aug. 23 and their series opener against the Nationals on Tuesday, but he returned on Wednesday and hit a decisive homer in Chicago's 5-2 win over the Mets on Friday.

Even with the home run, which he hit off Brian Stokes, Soriano wasn't able to conceal a limp while trotting around the bases.

"There's no sense delaying it," manager Lou Piniella said. "We'll have him do it today, and once we get the results, then we know exactly what to do."

Soriano said he wanted to have the test done for peace of mind.

"It's something that needed to be done, so the quicker the better," Piniella said. "He's not moving well. Give him all the credit in the world -- he goes out there and does the best he can."

I finally decided we need to shut Fonz down, not just sit him down, when I watched him try to make it around the bases after his 3-run HR. It was like watching Jake Taylor try to make it to first on a bunt at the end of  Major League.

Ouch. 

 

Get well soon, Fonz.

 

Things have been pretty rough around the Cubs blogosphere lately. Our team is in the proverbial toilet, we've been called some ugly names, and everyone seems to be arguing about one thing or another.

And that's not even the worst of it: I might not get to see Rich Harden's butt every 5 days next season.

But, as I always whistle, always look on the brightside of life.

Things that are making me happy today: 1) I get to watch (note: I did not say 'enjoy') another month of baseball; 2) it feels like fall today; 3) I am sitting in a coffeeshop, writing, on a rainy day.

Oh, and then there's this:

Smooth Move, Ex-Lax (photo courtesy Chicago Tribune)

 The Milton Bradley discussion has completely worn me out (see this morning's headlines for details).

Last night, I was pretty steamed when I wrote the game thread, and I recognize that "Shut the Hell Up Already" was not that nicest or most accurate way I could have expressed my feelings for Uncle Milty.

For now, I need some time to collect my thoughts. More on Milty's comments about racism and Chicago fans later. For now, I'll second Lou's comment for today:

"We've had enough problems... we really don't need any more controversy of any sorts."

Amen.

For now, we've got rainy, gray skies here in Chicago. I'm not all that optimistic about getting the game in. Only time will tell.

Now that we're back in playoff contention after last night's win, the homestrech is upon us! (/sarcasm font).

Today Randy Wells (9-6) will take on the Nats' J.D. Martin (2-3) at Wrigley.

Gametime is 1:20 on WGN.

Lineups to come.

 

I am sick to death of talking about, reading about, and blogging about Milton Bradley. I understand he doesn't "feel comfortable" here. I understand he lumps all Cubs fans into the same category as the occasional asshole, despite all the cheers he also gets on a daily basis (which seems to me the same as lumping all African-American pro athletes in with Pacman Jones, but I digress). And I understand that the thinks he's the first player ever to be booed unmercilessly in Chicago (though I think Jason Marquis, Rex Grossman, Cade McNown, and Jacque Jones would disagree with him).

And most of all, I understand that he doesn't understand the concept of making his own bed and having to lie in it. You don't hit the damn ball and bitch about how the fans, your teammates, and the umps don't like you, you aren't going to earn many fans. Never in my memory has a Chicago player gone so far out of his way to distract attention from the fact that his season has been a big pile of suck.

I get it. We ALL get it.

That said, could you please shut the hell up already? You want to bitch about racism? Go talk to Hank Aaron, the Palestinians, the Israelis, or people living in Rwanda first.

Can we get back to baseball now?

Here we go again.

The Cubs are getting set to open a 10-game homestand against a bunch of really bad teams: Washington, the Mets, and Houston. In one corner, we have those who are insisting it ain't over until it's over for the Cubs (Steve Stone, Eric Karros, Ted Lilly, and Lou Piniella). In the other corner, we have those who have thrown in the towel on the Cubs (White Sox fans, gravedigger, my brother).

Considering, as Steve Stone pointed out this morning, that If cards play .500 ball rest of way, cubs have to go 28-12 the rest of the way to tie at 90 wins, we here at LOHO want to know what you think.

poll by twiigs.com

Kind of sums up the whole season, doesn't it? (photo courtesy Chicago Tribune)

Will the Chicago Cubs win another game this season?

I'm not joking, I seriously want to know.

At this point, it looks kind of unlikely. Maybe the question should be "Will The Chicago Cubs score another run all season?" because, to be honest,  I'm not all that sure of that, either, at this point.

With a loss today, the Cubs will drop to .500 for the first time since the All-Star Break. I know it's difficult to believe that a team this craptacular has been above .500 for the last two weeks, but it's true.

So I ask you, dear LOHO reader, when will the Cubs win another game? Or, more to the point, when will they win two in a row?

Predict when (if ever) this Cubs team will put back-to-back wins together (this season, smart alecks), and you might win this handy-dandy Cubs pacifier!

My foray back to denial was a brief one.

So, okay. It's the end of August and we're 7 games back in the division and 6 back in the WC. That's. . . that's not so good.

But hey, there's more than one way to go with this information. I had a little epiphany this morning; allow me to share it with you.

Maybe I'll start bringing cocktails into the dugout. What could it hurt?

So there's a Cubs game tonight. It's against the Dodgers. Randy Wells is pitching for us. Randy Wolf is pitching for them. Heh. When's the last time you saw two guys named 'Randy' pitching against each other? I mean, it's not that common of a name.

The game is on at 9:10 pm CT on CSN plus.

I guess that's it.

(goes back to gin and tonic)

Well, that sucked.

 Last night's win vaulted me all the way back to "denial" from "anger."

Call me crazy, but last night's team looked like a team that could actually compete for the division and (dare I say it?) in the post-season.

I mean. . . didn't it?

At any rate, indulge my fantasy for a moment as I discuss the current state of the Cubs' affairs. We're currently 6 games in back of the Cards (bleurgh), who are a team overdue of a nice, long, losing streak if I've ever seen one. We're 5 back in the WC race, behind Colorado, San Francisco, Florida, and Atlanta.

Do we have great chances of making the post-season? No. Right now the Cards look like they'll never lose again. But they will! The law of averages demands it!  Anyway, it's not like a monumental jaw-dropping collapse has never happened before. (see, e.g., Cubs, 1969). 

Sure, maybe our chance is one in a hundred. Maybe it's one in a hundred million. 

 

Depression

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross almost certainly had Cubs fans in mind when she identified the 5 Stages of Grief:

1. Denial: What? Can they still pull it out? OF COURSE they can still pull it out! Just wait until we get everyone healthy again. We might not even lose a game in September!
2. Anger: I am never buying another ticket, hat, t-shirt, jersey, or thong related to this team ever again. I refuse to contribute to this laughingstock of a franchise. I will cheer for the WHITE SOX before I cheer for this joke of a team again. God, I hate Kent Mercker!!!!!
3. Bargaining: Okay God, if we can just win the Wild Card, I will spend every spare moment of my time volunteering for charitable organizations. I will give 10 percent of my income to Amnesty International. I will talk to Streetwise vendors. Just please, please, PLEASE let us make the post-season!!!!!!
4. Depression: I'll just. . . starting waiting until next year. I guess. . . . sigh.
5. Acceptance: Meh, it's the Cubs. Where's my beer?

In which stage are you currently residing? 

(Note: If I can find the original link to Pessimism Pub, Confidence Island, and Uncertainty Lodge, I'll post them) 

 

<

Submitted by nearlynextyear

Actually, we had a three-way tie for 1st, but I had to pick one. The other two winning submissions were . . . . (drumroll)

Why would you want to stay up until midnight watching a team that's 5 games out in mid-August? I'll tell you why.

 

What a rotten week for Cubs fans. A rout by the Rockies, followed by a rout by the Phillies, which included some idiot Cubs fan dumping a beer on Shane Victorino. . . as if it's Victorino's fault that this team shows up or doesn't show up, depending on the day of the week, the weather, and the phase of the moon.

A sweep (even of lowly Pittsburgh) sure would feel good right about now.

 

It's Air Show weekend, everybody! As the daughter of a former Navy pilot and the sister of a current one, I would be remiss if I let the Thuderbirds hog all the glory this weekend. Besides, the Thunderbirds were never cool enough to have an entire Van Halen video dedicated to them. Even if it was the Sammy Hagar Van Halen.

I don't know what to say, either. (Photo courtesy Chicago Tribune)

 I've officially run out of things to say about this team.

Let's try this:

There's a game today.

The game is against the Pirates.

It's not against the Phillies (thank God).

It would be great if we could hit something.

It would also be great if out pitchers didn't give up 37 runs an inning.

Oh, and Aramis will be back today.

Let's see. . .what else?

Randy Wells (8-5) is pitching for the Cubs. Charlie Morton (2-5) is pitching for the Pirates.

Uh . . . the game is at home.

The game is at 1:20 pm CT. The game can be seen on WGN tv.

If you want more in-depth discussion on what's wrong with this team, who's to blame, and if it's fixable, I must direct you to the comments on this morning's headlines.

Um. . . lineups to come.

After the debacle that took place last night (and the night before), today marks the last time we have to look at the Phillies ugly mugs until next season. Good riddance and take your back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back jacks lineup with you.

Happily, last night might have marked the last time we have to look at Jeff Spellcheck's ugly mug (and arm. and hair) until at least next year, as the Cubs optioned him to AAA today, brining up Justin Berg to help out in the pen. God knows we need it.

As thisyearcub asked in the headlines comments this morning, is Spellcheck's contract the worst ever given to a rookie? I think the answer has to be "yes." I don't even object as much to the garbage bags full of money we gave him as I do the no-trade clause.

Hope springs eternal, however, as the Cubs send a real pitcher to the mound for the first time in a while. Ryan Dempster (6-5, 4.04) takes the mound for the Cubs today. But surprise! He has to face Cliff Lee (9-9, 2.95)! I'm guessing our chances are about as good against Lee as they were against Pedro last night. 

Oh baseball, why must you be such a fickle mistress?    

 

 

The game tonight is on WGN (and ESPN, but who cares), but if you tuned into WGN at 5:55pm tonight --- your very own (well, my very own) Cubbiejulie was just on WGN news promoting A League of Her Own and Chicago Now as a whole.  Thankfully, she wasn't bumped, so I didn't have to rough anyone up.

As for tonight's game, let's just hope for the best, shall we?  Spellcheck is facing Pedro Martinez.  Sure, Martinez is 37 (which is NOT OLD, thank you very much) and coming off the DL, this is his Phillies debut, and his first appearance in nearly a year.  That said, this is still Pedro Martinez.  Fortunately, Mr. Martinez has an even record against the Cubs at 3-3.  In fact, the last time he took the mound?  Six innings against the Cubs last September with nine struck out and f

ive runs given up (but no decision).

 

 

Nevertheless, we shall soldier on.  Spellcheck is too young to care, and he has a lot of hair to shield him from any criticism that may be thrown his way (and I have a bad feeling that there will be plenty of that in this game).  Sure, the DL is loaded with Lilly and Zambrano, and Ramirez probably begs each day to be added to it (and is actually off for the rest of this series).  But we have guys like Sam Fuld, Jake Fox, and other players with monosyllabic names whose youth (like that of the polysyllabic Spellcheck) prevents them from knowing that they might be headed to a certain loss. 

 

Help us, Milton Bradley....you may indeed be our only hope.  Well, LOHO and Chicago Now were on TV, so at least we'll get some free booze out of this.

 

The tipping point

As you can see by my clever use of the scales above, I'm officially declaring this series the tipping point of the season. As of right now, we're 3 games back in the central, 3 back in the wild card race.

We've got a three-game series against the Phils, then 3 games against the lowly Pirates AAA team. Meanwhile, the Cards have to play Cincy and then San Diego. By the time we get out of thesenext two series, we should have a pretty good idea of where we stand. Either we'll be holding tight in the thick of things, or we'll be 6 games in back of the Cards.

In August.

But never fear, help is on the way.Ted Lilly is slated to return to the starting rotation on Monday night against the San Diego, while Aramis Ramiez is going to have a cortisone shot in his shoulder and hopes to be back in the lineup on Thursday. 

This Cubbie team is killing me
I must confess, I still believe (still believe)
The errors, no offense. . . I go out of miiiiiind
Hit me, Gorzy, one more time!

I just want to get out of Colorado with a split.

I don't expect a miracle; I didn't even expect to beat Jason Marquis. A win tonight puts us at 6-5 for the road trip, and that's about all we can ask for a team that frequently forgets its offense back at the hotel. If they wanted to forget Aaron Miles at the hotel, I'd be okay with that. A Cards loss would also be smashing, but I try not to get greedy. The baseball gods are touchy these days.

Speaking of touchy, let's hope the umps took a gander at the film of the blown call at 2nd last night and find a way to make it up to us. I really believe that call changed the entire tenor of the game. On the plus side, Lou got to take a nap, so we have that going for us. . . which is nice. I've heard that that the thin mountain air is hard on old, drinky people.

 

And the hits just keep on coming.

Today (or last night, I don't remember), the Cubs announced that Carlos Zambrano will be placed on the 15-day DL, retroactive to August 2. The Cubs are hoping he'll only miss one more start. If that weren't bad enough, Aramis Ramirez left last night's game with a sore shoulder and is still out of the lineup today.

 

These are the times that try men's souls. . .

The Cubs placed right-hander Carlos Zambrano on the 15-day disabled list on Saturday, retroactive to Aug. 2, with back spasms.

To replace Zambrano on the 25-man roster, the Cubs recalled right-handed reliever Jeff Stevens from their Triple-A Iowa affiliate. Stevens is available for Saturday night's game against the Rockies at Coors Field.

As if that weren't enough, our offense seems to have gone D.B. Cooper on us again, Josh Hamilton admits to having fallen off the wagon, and we're facing a guy tied for most wins in the NL.

Did I mention that person is Jason Marquis?

(ducks and covers)

I think this is how we all feel about Geo coming back

Strap on an oxygen tank and prepare to have Coors thrust upon you, because tonight the Cubs roll on into Denver, and this time we have Geo Soto with us.

Carlos Zambrano (7-4, 3.55) will take the mound for Cubbies against the unfortunately-named Ubaldo Jimenez (8-9, 3.76). Jimenez is one of the few pitchers who can probably match Z when it comes to velocity. Luckily for us, Cubs hitters have had good luck against him in the past, with several of our players hitters over .500 against. The same can't be said for the Rockies, who have struggled against Z in the past.

 

The Tom Gorzelanny era begins tonight in Cincy.

There's a school of thought out there that says I should embrace every player on the Cubs roster, no matter what. I've always struggled with this philosophy, as it would also require me to embrace. . . say, Aaron Miles or, in the past, Corey Patterson. Sometimes it's just asking too much.

That said, I can't decide how I feel about waking up last week to find that Tom Gorzelanny was on the Cubs. On the one hand, he's a Chicago kid who seems to have grown up into a lovely young man. That's always a plus. On the other hand, we've spent a lot of time here making fun of Tom Gorzelanny, the Pittsburgh Pirate. Mostly because of this:

Oh Derrek Lee, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Let's get right to the news that I was up half the night waiting for. (Am I the only one who couldn't sleep until I heard that Z and Aramis were okay?):

It appeared Ramirez was hit on his left side but the Cubs said afterward it was his arm. Piniella said Ramirez was dizzy from pain when he went to first base after being hit and had to come out. He is expected to play Sunday.

Zambrano said he probably incurred the back injury from sleeping wrong.

"I was feeling it the whole game," he said Saturday. "I didn't say anything, but obviously as the game was going I felt worse and worse. I saw my arm dropping a lot. And Lou told me, 'Before you get your arm injured because of your back, let's take you out of the game.' And he was right."

Zambrano said he would make his next scheduled start Friday in Colorado.

So thank God for small miracles. I had the fork ready for the self-lobotomy if Z and Aramis went to the DL in addition to Lilly and Geo. Aaron Miles can stay there for as long as he wants.

Welcome to my game thread, hosers.

Greetings from the Great White North, where it's cold, but not quite this cold, at the cabin on the lake where I'm currently ensconsed in several layers. The high today was 55--making for an even colder night. Lo, I, my yoga pants, and my mug of hot tea are very much looking forward to another hot night in Miami (on the TV).

Kevin Harrrrrrrrrrt

The Cubs scored 24 runs in the last two days, which means that the next home game is Jack Bauer day. Today they take on the Marlins at Land Shark Stadium.

You dropped something.

So yesterday was fun. Let's do that again.

Before we get to the game, there's some more news on the Boston Roid-y front. I know some of you will roll your eyes and say you don't care, and that's fine. I, however, am amused that ANOTHER Red Sock has allegedly turned up on the 2003 Cheatsy list. This is because I now find Boston fans to be even more obnoxious than Yankee or White Sox fans:

Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, the sluggers who propelled the Boston Red Sox to end an 86-year World Series championship drought and to capture another title three years later, were among the roughly 100 Major League Baseball players to test positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003, according to lawyers with knowledge of the results.

And by all means, let's make sure to blame the lawyers who released the names, rather than the players who actually cheated. Just give us the damn list so we can all move on already.

Moving on.

Welcome to A League of Her Own!

Before we start today's live game thread, we'd like to take a moment to welcome all the new readers coming to LOHO for the first time through the link on the Chicago Tribune website. We're a group of social degenerates/Cub fans who hang out together during the games and chat. Mostly about the game, but also about whatever happens to pop into our heads. That's us up there in the LOHO Welcome Wagon. Well, not really. But it's at least a representation of us, as you'll come to find out. Except for pirate Ernie Banks. . .  I'm not sure why that's in there.

Can't watch the game? We'll keep you posted on all the action throughout the game.

Watching alone? Not anymore. We'll keep you company and entertained during the long, hard slog to the post-season (knocks on wood). Don't be shy--we welcome all comers. Feel free to jump in and join the fun.

Photo courtesy Chicago Tribune

If we're going to do this thing, kids, let's get one thing straight:

The first rule of a win-streak is you don't talk about the win streak!

The second rule of a win-streak: no outside food.

Tonight marks the triumphant return of one Ryan Dempster and his big toe, both of which suffered unfortunate injury in an ill-fated attempt to clear the dugout fence at Wrigley. Clearly, Ryan Dempster is no Ted Lilly, who, if you haven't heard, underwent knee surgery today. That and his bum shoulder should keep him on the DL until Mid-August. Do I buy this? No. I think Obama has called Ted in to resolve the healthcare crisis. It should take Ted about 15 days to wrap all that up, at which point he'll return to the rotation. And America will be better for it.

Tonight the FIRST PLACE CHICAGO CUBS take on the Houston Astros, who are only 2 games back of the FIRST PLACE CHICAGO CUBS and hot on the trail of the FIRST PLACE CHICAGO CUBS.

It's been a long, hard slog to get to first place for the FIRST PLACE CHICAGO CUBS, who have endured injuries, suspensions, bat-shit crazy pitchers, stupid injuries, more suspensions, a bat-shit crazy right-fielder, still more injuries, some minor leaguers, and a bat shit crazy manager who insists he is not a dragon.

(NB: Whether Milton actually said the quote that I based on my entire diary on seems to be in dispute. More on this in tomorow morning's headlines.)

But while Wrigleyville and Cubs fans everywhere rejoice in the afterglow of sweet, sweet victory, one sullen Cubbie has decided to use this joyous occasion to continue his descent into total dickitude:

"It's nice, but I don't think we're going to get any nicer articles written about us," Bradley said. "But we're in firstplace, so you can't find a negative in that."

It really means nothing, after all the Cubs have gone through?

"Am I going to get more cheers now?" he said. "Are we going to stop getting bashed by everybody, articles about our lineup and how it was better last year and all that garbage. Last year's team is sitting at home, just like everyone else. There's just one champion."

Actually, Sunday's lineup included seven players from last year's team, and Bradley was cheered after making a nice headfirst slide into home in the third and a running catch of a foul ball in the fifth.

"I don't notice it," he said."

Let's address your points in turn:

The Reds and Dusty Baker (seen here examining an unconscious Hee Sop Choi) are having a crappy road trip, having lost four away games in a row. Let's hope that continues.

Fun fact: Randy Wells is the third musketeer. (Tribune photo by Nuccio DiNuzzo)

Dusty Baker and the Reds come to town after getting swept out of LA. Whether the Cubs offense arrives as well remains to be seen.

We've got a game coming up in just under three hours, so we're going to combine our headlines and our game thread today.

Sorry, dude

The game last night was a real heart-breaker, as our not-so-hitsy team managed to squander a great outing by Rich Harden's butt:

PHILADELPHIA -- Jayson Werth's two-out homer in the 13th inning Wednesday night, after Ryan Howard and Raul Ibanez had walked, gave the Phillies a 4-1 victory over the Cubs.

The loser was Jeff Samardzija, who got the first two outs in the inning before issuing the walks.

The Phillies have won 10 straight games, while the Cubs lost their second in a row after starting with four victories in Washington following the All-Star break.

"We've see this movie before about not scoring runs," manager Lou Piniella said.

"We're challenged offensively, I can tell you that. You don't score runs, you can't win. We've played this game so many times before that you get tired of complimenting the other team's pitchers. I'd like to compliment our hitters once in a while.

"We might need a couple of hitters at trading deadline."

Joy. I can only imagine what kind of hitters we're likely to get, what with the entire world knowing that we couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. A fifth (sixth? sevent?) go around at Paul Bako? Another Jeff Baker? Is it too late to get Freddy Bynum back? Blah.

Did we win or lose last night? I wasn't paying attention because Jack was there!

Happy Birthday to LOHO's beloved Carl, who turns 23 today!

Before we get to the game thread, I want to thank Erin from the fabulous website Lemondrop.com, who invited me to help her respond to a previous dating article on the site, entitled Ten Things Not to Say To a Guy Who's a Baseball Fan. I think you can all imagine how fellow-baseball-fan Erin and I felt about this little nugget of wisdom. Check it out! 

I'm not going to talk about the game last night, or about people dropping balls, or giving up on balls, or not calling balls, or LOOKING LIKE GENERAL JERKS RUNNING AROUND OUT THERE. I'mjust going to trust that tonight will be better.

Oh, dammit.

I hope you all enjoyed our little dalliance in DC, because tonight we have to play a real team. Unlike the Gnats, who are currently toiling at the bottom of the NL East, TWENTY-SIX games out of first place, the Phillies are firmly in charge of their division, up by 6.5 games.

Alas, things HAVE seemed to have picked up lately, even if we were playing a team that would have trouble with the Kane County Cougars. More people are hitting the ball with their bats, the starting pitching continues to be strong, and even the bullpen seems to have gotten it sorted lately. Let's just hope it lasts, because I really fear for the emotional well-being of a large portion of Cubs Nation if we drop two of the next three.

All our hopes for a sweep lie with Kevin Hart….ugh…

As somewhat of a Revolutionary War buff, I tend to take notice of certain things. New books by David McCullough or Joseph Ellis, new programming on History Channel, giant Presidents running the basepaths in our nation's capital.

Yet there is one Founding Father who always seems to be left out of the mix, and he happens to be my FAVORITE Founding Father. Not only was he a brilliant lawyer, orator, and rebel (note: I didn't say "brilliant President"), but he was almost solely responsible for keeping Congress' faith in George Washington alive during the year 1776. And he should have a memorial. AND he died on the Fourth of July, along with that namby pamby, Thomas Jefferson)

Does anyone seriously believe fancyboy George Washington could outrun robust outdoorsman Teddy Roosevelt?

We're undefeated in the second half of the season. Hallelujah!

For those that missed it, Fonzi is out tonight with a jammed finger, which he incurred trying to get out of a run-down that he got himself into like a DOOFUS. He'll be replaced in left tonight by the slightly less doofusy Micah Hoffpauir.

Don't worry about hitting, just try to last more than three innings. . .

And we're off! Welcome to the second half of the season, in which all things are possible. Derrek Lee will keep hitting like this is 2005, Ted Lilly will keep pitching like it's 2000 and Ted, and Jeff Baker will turn out to be the second baseman we've waited for all our lives.

Now THESE are all-stars.

The game starts at 7:00 CT/8:00 ET on FOX. Winner gets home-field advantage in the WS. American League hasn't lost since 1996.

The chat posted earlier wasn't working.

Let's try this link instead:

Juiced? Or not juiced?

We here at LOHO understand the boredom and panic that sets in at the prospect of having 3 off-days in a row. That's why, for the duration of this All-Star Break, we'll be providing fun and educational actitivies to keep you awake and stimulated until the season resumes. When this crisis is over, we'll go back to our regular prices. (500 LOHO points to whoever can identify this reference.)

First, we will be naming our 2009 LOHO Gameday All-Stars on Wednesday. This is our annual contest to identify a starting lineup (one for each league) of the worst gameday photos in major league baseball. Remember, every team must be represented! Please vote by posting links to the worst gameday/mlb.com photos for each position in the comments below.

 Three down, one to go. We're halfway to ending the first half 1.5 games out of first place; a dream many of us thought impossible to acheive with this crappy, crappy offense.

Fortunately for us, the Cards have spent the last two games looking more like the Cubs than the Cards, allowing us to creep up into their rearview mirror. Tonight's as big a game as we've played all season. Either well go into the All-Star Break in the Card's backseat at 1.5 back, or we'll be observing the two-second rule and following safely behind.

In honor of this momentous occasion, and because we won't have another game thread for several days, we're going to post the link to a live LOHO chat for this game. Those who are more comfortable on the game thread can stay here and post, and those who would rather chat can hop into the chat room. A grand time will be had by all.

Part Deux starts at 7:05 CT on ESPN. The dreamy Adam Wainwright (sorry, it's true. and i can't WAIT to see his porntache) (9-5) will take on Randy Wells (4-3). Word has it that Z asked to pitch the first game so that Wells could pitch on national tv. What a guy.

Another day, another game. I watched the whole thing yesterday and it's already moving to Denial Land. One bright spot was Jeff Stevens, who made his Major League debut and was the only Cubs pitcher to throw a 1-2-3 inning. This was a welcome contrast to what is on his Wikipedia page, which talks about a bad pick-off he made to first during the Olympics which eventually led to the winning Korean run.

Three and a half-games back with four games before the break. Soto to the DL. Jake Fox is our backup catcher. Soriano will have to face Chris Carpenter. Milton Bradley will have to face a pitcher.

This series is rotten with epic drama.

Today Kevin Hart (gulp) takes on Kenshin Kawakami (4-6, 4.46). Why Kevin Hart rather than someone else? Your guess is as good as mine.

As the first half of the season winds down, things are suddenly looking a whole lot rosier.

Yes, Mike Fontenot and his .230 BA is still at 2B. Yes, our bullpen is still. . . . a bit untrustworthy. Yes, we just lost Dempster for a month (that one really hurts). Yes, Kevin Hart is back on the team. But all that aside, the Cubs are (relatively healthy) and have won 6 of their last 8 and are only two games back of the evil Southern Beer Team.

Fun fact: More Braves fans voted for John Rocker in 2008 than Barack Obama

Tonight the Cubs welcome into Wrigley one of the few remaining teams in professional sports that not only allows overt racism but embraces and celebrates it. Considering this, it might be a good idea to leave Milty out of the lineup.

No matter though. Tonight we hope to reap the bounty of the return of Aramis Ramirez, REEDZ Johnson, and Angel Guzman. All is right with the world.

 

I'm off to the game today, so this will have to suffice as the game thread. Feel free to add your own headlines in the comments.

 Ted Lilly (7-6) v. Mike Burns (1-1). Game time is 1:20 CT on CSN, TBS.

So. . .um hey! Good morning!

Uh, remember yesterday when I dedicated the entire game thread to declaring that Soriano wasn't moving out of the leadoff spot and we all just had to get over wanting him to move down in the lineup?

Um. . . .heh

Rookie Sam Fuld is expected to move into the Cubs leadoff spot Saturday with Alfonso Soriano moving to the middle of the order.

Manager Lou Piniella declined to discuss the move, except to say "we'll probably make a few adjustments with our lineup."

Soriano was 0-for-5 in Friday's 2-1 victory over Milwaukee after a two-day rest and is hitting .173 over his last 36 games. He said he will hit anywhere Piniella wants and understands his reasoning.

So. . . yeah.

 What a difference a week makes.

After a miserable series in Detroit and another at the Cell, followed by a so-so series in Pittsburgh, all is right with the world after one win over the Brewers. Miraculously, despite all the turmoil of the first half of his season, the Cubs find themselves only 2.5 games back of the division-leading Brewers.

Before some select members of LOHO go overboard with Fuld-a-mania, let's take a moment for a LOHO-wide reality check.

Has Sam Fuld played exceptionally well in his first two games with the Cubs? Yes.

Is it nice to see a leadoff hitter who really works a count? For sure.

Would it be better for the Cubs to have Fuld leading off than Soriano? Are you nuts?

From 2006-2009, Soriano's line has been .297/.355/.572/.927 as a leadoff hitter, ranking him consistenly among the best in baseball. And that line INCLUDES his current horrific slump. In the last three seasons, Soriano has hit 1, 2, 3 4, 5, 7 and 8 in the lineup. Nowhere else has he even come close to the kind of numbers he puts up as a leadoff hitter.

The enemy (and their shitty facial hair) is upon us

Round up the mall bangs, cheese curds, and all the fireworks/adult videos you can find, because here comes Milwaukee!

Seconds later, an annoyed Ted touched the reporter's forehead with his pinky, killing her instantly and demonstrating who was the most fierce.

Believe it or not, after all the Gatorade-bashing and no-hitting and fighting with the manager and suspensions and pigpen and everything else, we are only 3.5 games out of first.

Rich Harden and his magical ass (which if you've forgotten, looks like this:)

pitched a gem last night. We're hoping from another tonight from Ted Lilly, just in case the entire lineup forgets how to hit again.

Among the lesser-known facts about pirates is their fanatical devotion to country

Avast ye mateys!

Ahoy!

Yo ho ho and a buttle of rum!

Enough with the cryin' and the bellachin', ye lilly-livered landlubbers! If there be one place we can be picking up some games easy as a pirate hooker picks up the clap, it be in Pittsburgh.

Tonight Rich Harrrrrrrrrden (4-4, 4.95, 1.40) and his bonny wee arrrrse be takin' the hill for the Cubbies. Walkin' the plank for the Pirates be Cub-killer Zach Duke (8-5, 3.09, 1.19). Let me tell ye somethin', matey's. He might have split the Cubs from neck to navel on occasion, but he be a yellow-belly at hearrrrrrt. Tonight, he gets what's comin' to him. Arrrrr!

(Rubs eyes, stretches)

Good morning, everyone. I had the craziest dreams last night. I dreamt that there was a spy in the Cubs' lockerroom at the cell, Mark DeRosa was a Cardinal, and Billy Mays was dead! LOL---man, I hate it when I have crazy dreams like those, it makes you wake up all, you know, discombobulated and . . . . . . . what?

Oh. I see.

Excuse me for a bit.

 

Lost in the midst of all the drama yesterday was the fact that we beat the White Sox. Yay! This means I'm currently up 2-1 on Black Jack in our beer-and-blogging-related wager. Yay Cubs, yay me.

Today Ryan Dempster (4-5, 3.83, 1.32) takes on the much-beloved but crappily-bearded Mark Buehrle (7-2, 3.17, 1.13). Seriously, this guy looks like he shaved a baby chick and glued the fuzz to his face.

I've yet to figure out why (other than his ability to locate a baseball and strike guys out) Sox fans love this guy so much, but I think it has to do with him talking with a southern accent and looking slightly confused no matter where he is. See, he's not uppity like us north-siders, with our fancy book-learnin' and "proper" English, and general awareness of our surroundings. He doesn't think he's better than them.

Secuity at U.S. Cellular Field unveils new "crowd control" devices ahead of the Cubs/White Sox series

If it's the cross-town series, Ozzie must be making an idiot of himself again:

"I think if you stop outside in the parking lot and ask any Cub member, whoever covers the Cubs, whether they want to come here or there and I'm pretty sure they're going to say here because of the ballpark," Guillen said Thursday. "The facility is better.

That's right, jackass. Players would rather go to a team that has to guarantee playoff tickets in order to get their fans to show up to the ballpark. Oh, but it should be easier to get people out there now that you guys have Jake Peavy.

Oh sorry. Nevermind.

Ted, you may have to do a little more today than just pitch. Tough week so far for this consistently inconsistent team. Today, the Cubs will try to salvage their trip to the Motor City with a win (one win? please?) against the Tigers in the only favorable matchup. I say this because one T.R. Lilly will be on the mound, he of his superior self. Lilly has a 1.31 ERA over his last five starts, which is just superb. 

Bring it, Porcello

Enough messing around. Enough with going back to not being able to hit the ball. Enough with the pigpen. Enough with Aaron Miles being on this team.

All else aside, I refuse to lose to a guy named Fredrick Alfred Porcello. I mean, come on. His parents were apparently so into the name "Fred" they managed to fit two different versions of it into his name. So Cubs, despite all the hype about Porcello's high school, college, and minor league career, if you lose, it will be to a guy basically named Fred Fred Mushroom.

If you can live with that.

Game thread by baturkey
Tribune Photo by Phil Velasquez

Load up the car, Maw! The Cubs are in town!

The Cubs are headed into Atlanta for a makeup game before taking off for tomorrow's game in Detroit. There's so much to love about Atlanta: the improvements in dental hygiene (the recent trend in gold teeth notwithstanding), the food, the shopping, the institutions of higher education, the requirements that shoes should now be worn in public establishments.

And you know what? Atlanta is a BEAUTIFUL city. It really upsets me that people still treat the people of Atlanta like a bunch of racist, uneducated hicks. I mean, that was a LONG TIME AGO, people! Atlanta has grown and changed! It's a modern city! These aren't the old days, when large groups of white people would gather together to make fun of minorities by dressing up in stereotypical costumes and chanting racist songs to egg each other on.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my Dad, Pete DiCaro, who coached just about every team the kids in my family were ever on (t-ball, baseball, soccer, and otherwise), and endured years upon years of little boys who ran from 1st to 3rd (skipping 2B entirely), little girls who rested the bat on their shoulders at the plate(getting the barrel snagged in the bows that adorned their ponytails) and dandelion pickers of every gender in the OF (and often the IF, too), with a smile on his face. I know that he gets some small measure of satisfaction knowing that his weekends are now completely free, while mine are consumed with driving to various kid sports.

For all the LOHO Dads out there, I hope that today brings you lots of fattening food, a mid-day nap on the couch, and an afternoon spent watching Cubs baseball, the U.S Open, and the U.S. Soccer team taking on Egypt (gulp).

Photo courtesy Chicago Tribune

Jimminy Jillickers, kids, I would just looooove to recap the game for you guys. Alas, as I said during the 6th inning, those of you who stomp off in disgust before the end of the game risk missing the big comeback and I threatened not to recap it for those of you without the fortitude to stick around. And  . . . well . . .  ahem.

I will say that this game reminded me very much of the 9-run comeback the 1989 Cubs had against Houston that year. That game was seemed to be the turning point that year, the game when that team realized that anything was possible. Let's hope that this game has the same effect on the 2009 Cubs.

 On the off-chance that you feel really super-cheated by my refusing to recap yesterday's game for you, fair-weather fans, you can read how it all went down here.

In other fun reading material today, you can learn that yes, DeRosa and Wood really do carry nostalgia in their hearts for their days at Wrigley here. By the way, in case your wondering how both McDreamy and Kid K faired in their return to Wrigley, both received warm standing ovations from the crowd for their initial appearances. McDreamy then ran into the corner of the bullpen phone with his thigh (ouch!) and Kerry gave up a dinger to DLee to tie the game. Welcome home, boys! 

Or about how Lou really, really wants to get Marmol more work (I plan that makes my stomach queasy) here. Or, for a special Saturday pick-me-up, about how the home of the Northern Sausage People was damaged by flooding here. Or, about how the Cubs are finally, FINALLY going to make an effort to get Jake Fox's bat some more ABs here.

In game two of the series, Ted Lilly (7-4) takes on Tomo Okha (0-1) today at 12:05 on WGN.

I have a delicious feeling the worst may be behind us, with only sunshine lollipops and rainbows ahead. Lineups to come.

Memories . . . like the corner of my mind. . . misty, water-colored memories. . . of the way we were. . .

Today is the day I've been dreading since. . . well, since I found out last week that the Cubs were playing the Indians this series. It's never easy to let a loved one go, especially when that loved one was the hottest guy on the team and has this really kick-ass chest and wore lots of tight t-shirts that totally showed it off. It's also hard when, in return for letting the loved one go, you wind up with a no-hitting, disgruntled OFer who can't count to 3 and Aaron Miles at 2B.

As someone once said: Love Bites.

On the right, today's pitcher. On the left, the Cubs' offense. Well, then. Like many of you, I'm speechless regarding this current team. Every time you think things can't get worse, they do. All I can say is hopefully better days are ahead, but the Cubs need SOMETHING to go right. Besides the pitching of course, as we've seen some decent outings wasted away. 

Not Lou.

In case anyone was suspicious, Lou confirmed for us yesteday that he is not, after all, a dragon. This is good. Perhaps we can now move on to worrying about winning games and batting averges rather than singed eyebrows and where to store the paperwork.

"Julie," you ask, "what is Sammy Sosa doing with Sharon Osborne?"

"I don't really know," I say.

"And Julie," you ask again, "why is there a photo of Sammy Sosa and Sharon Osborne at the top of our Cubs/Sox game thread?"

Well, I'll tell you:

Sammy Sosa, who joined with Mark McGwire in 1998 in a celebrated pursuit of baseball's single-season home run record, is among the players who tested positive for a performance-enhancing drug in 2003, according to lawyers with knowledge of the drug-testing results from that year.

Canopygirl salutes the effort she effort she expects the Cubs will make before the game. She was sorely disappointed.

 

This diary is going to serve three purposes this morning: LOHO get-together recap, morning headlines, and game thread. In these rough economic times, efficiency is key.

LOHO get-together began in the pouring rain at Murphy's, where I was greeted by a chipper Baby Saffron, all in pink, and an even MORE chippier Doc Blume. I think Jenga's play the last few days have really cheered Doc up. After collecting canopygirl, millertime, umbra, and summerguy (who pathetically had to stand outside the fence at Murphy's even though we tried to pass me off as his legal guardian), we braved the cold and rain and headed over to the bleachers.

Let me just say that this game was more packed with fans of the opposing team than I have ever seen. Twinks fans travel well. I would say they made up at least 45% of the crowd at Wrigley, and the bleachers might have been 50-50. They definitely won the day at Murphy's.

The Twinkies are in town!

Oh. It's just the baseball Twinkies. Nevermind.

It's getting increasingly more difficult to write game threads that don't devolve into a mess of ranting, raging, profanity-laden tirades against this team, its management, and the Cubs front office. But I'm going to do my best. Because I'm out here for YOU, people. Try to remember that.

Hmmm ... I know there's some offense in here somewhere. Tough one last night, but at least the Brewers lost too. As Jake Hoyt says, it's all about smiles and cries. So time to forget about last night's wasted opportunity, move on and win this series. Of course, the bats coming alive would be nice today after a struggling performance against the masterful Wandy Rodriguez. 

Me again? Already?

For fear of saying something that will jeopardize this fragile two-game win streak we have going, I'm going to be brief.

How the Cubs wind up facing Wandy Rodriguez (5-5) approximately 37 times each season is beyond me. He's up again tonight taking on Big Z (4-2) and his retirement plans. In case you missed it, the Cubs, inexplicably, activiated The Precious (Aaron Miles) and sent the guy who can actually hit a freakin' baseball (Jake Fox) back to AAA Iowa.

 

Yeehaw, cowboy up, yippie kai-ay, and all the rest. Tonight the Cubs, fresh off a one-game winning streak, roll into Houston for a showdown with the last-place Astros and their pitcher, a one-legged, yellow-bellied, lily-livered Brian Moehler (2-3). (SPITS)

Toeing the rubber for the guys on white horses is Ted Lilly (6-4), the root-in'-est, toot-in'-est, most bad-ass-in'-est pitcher in all of Texas. (SPITS)

 I expect it will go something like this:

A couch, a game on tv, a computer to keep up with the LOHO crew, great afternoon

I do so love when the Cubs play the Reds. For some reason it just feels like baseball. So you add in a Sunday afternoon in June, with WGN and a possible nap on my part, and it could be a great afternoon. Plus the last 2 games have been kinda exciting.

Oh Happy Day!

Hey everyone, hows your weekend going? I know, we don't get to go away like some people. But hey, a day or two chilling at home? Sounds like a decent weekend to me. Plus we get the Cubs!

The Trust Circle
Gather around, everyone. Please take hands. Everyone in? Good.
This is what is known as a Trust Circle. It's true, CubbieJulie has left us for the weekend, but we cannot be afraid. She would not have done this if she did not trust that we were ready for it, ready for the responsibility, ready to go at it alone.

She trusts us.

It's time for us to prove to her we've earned that trust. Or . . .

What I got when I put in Baseball, Happy it made me smile
Shockingly the Cubs are still playing over .500 baseball. 51 games into the season and they are sitting on a 26-25 record. And they won last night, which means they could possibly start one of those things, you know, where a team wins more than a game in a row?

 

If it's NASCAR, jug bands and mason jars of moonshine, it must be Atlanta, where the Cubs are headed tonight to take on the middling Braves, who are hovering around .500 and 4.5 games out of first, just like us. Cheeky upstart Randy Wells (0-2, 1.40) will be looking for his first win against Kenshin Kawakami (it would be so much cooler if it was "Kamikaze," but I disgress)(3-6, 4.73).

Just say no to Joe

Tonight, for the first time this season, the game and the podcast will run simultaneously. Could you be more excited? Me either! If you perfer the dulcet tones and insipid comments of Joe Morgan to witty banter and hilarious observations about Cub players, then by all means feel free to dial in to ESPN. Otherwise, hit that handy-dandy "mute" button and listen to Matt and me make insightful comments about the game, such as "how long do you thank Marshall's legs really are?", "do we think david patton is an albino?", and "did the gatorade dispenser cause the horrible start to this season?"

To listen to the podcast, click here. To call in with drole comments and questions, call               (347) 884-8570       .

Tonight Sean Marshall (3-3) and his legs takes on Eric Milton (1-0). Will the first game post-Gatorade dispenser be a victory? Tune it to ESPN tonight to find out!

< I suggest the above for assistance in getting through the rest of this series. I feel like I've posted a lot of photos of frosty beverages this season, which is probably directly indicative of the way this season is going. Last season, for example, I posted a lot more photos that resulted from Google searches for "happiness" and "love" and "adoration of your ballclub." This season, it's been more like "drinks for achieving oblivion and memory loss."

Well, at least this team has no shortage of storylines. Like the Gatorade machine, the Zambrano antics have been beaten senseless, so onward and upward we go. The fightingest team in the NL, the Cubs takes on the best team in the NL, the Dodgers. 

The streak is dead! Long live the streak!

 

  Um . . .I don't know if anyone really noticed, but the end of the old streak and the beginning of the new streak coincided rather dramatically with LOHO's move to the new digs. I don't want to brag or antything, but the players just seemed to have more energy last night; they seemed a bit more excited. New blog digs will do that to a team.

Look. Quite a few of us have been waiting for some time to make the leap to ChicagoNow. While much of the site was oblivious, we were over here testing, re-testing, beta testing, and testing again to make sure that everything over here was working like it should be. AND I will be DAMNED if these stupid Cubs are going to ruin this day for us. Do you hear me, Mike Fontenot? Are you listening, Alfonso Soriano? Am I making myself clear, Geo Soto? You WILL hit the damn ball tonight, CAPISCE? We are going to WATCH you accurately hit, field and throw the ball and we are all going to have a GREAT time.

Understood? So help me, I will pull this blog over!!!!!

Those of you jonesing for someone's head on a platter as a result of this EIGHT-GAME skid, might get your wish sooner than you think. Check out this little nugget from Lou:

"We've given Neal all the opportunities in the world, Pineilla said of the lefty, who has a 7.36 ERA. "It's time, isn't it?"

Um . .  . time for WHAT, Lou? Time to not have a lefty in the pigpen? That doesn't sound like such a good idea. Additionally, the women of Chicago beg you to reconsider. You don't have to PITCH him, just let him sit in the bullpen during games. Get him up everyone once in a while and let him toss the ball around. You might not think that having good-looking guys on your team is important, but believe me, when a team is playing like the Cubs are right now, it becomes VERY important to those of us without a "Y"' chromosome. And carl and gravedigger.

Milton and his persecution complex in happier times It wasn't easy for me to set aside my issues with you as a person and try to embarce you as a Cub. To be honest, I've always preferred my Cubs more in the Ryne Sandberg vein than Kent Mercker one. But I did it. I even wrote an entire front page diary defending you against the media. But it's getting harder and harder to like you. This has GOT to stop. Bradley believes his strike zone is being widened, forcing him to chase pitches he normally doesn't swing at or risk being called out on strikes. Asked if there have been repercussions from Vanover's fellow umpires since the incident, Bradley didn't mince words. "There always is," he replied. "No matter what, I'm the type of guy [where] I don't care what somebody does to a colleague of mine. I'm not going to treat him any differently. I do things straight up, because I'm a straight-up, honest individual. "Unfortunately, I just think it's a lot of 'Oh, you did this to my colleague,' or 'We're going to get him any time we can. As soon as he gets two strikes, we're going to call whatever and see what he does. Let's try to ruin Milton Bradley.' "It's just unfortunate. But I'm going to come out on top. I always do."

Go fuck yourself, San Diego I've got nothing. Seriously, I'm completely out of ideas. I've been wearing a rally cap for the last 4 days straight. I've been fasting since the last time we scored more than one run in a game. I've taken all the Cubs out of my fantasy team lineup. I've been roasting goats on a homemade alter in myu backyard for the last 5 days; the neighbors are starting to complain.

Since our manager doesn't seem to care about putting a decent lineup out there, and my team doesn't much care about hitting or scoring runs, I'm resorting to using profanity in reference to the other team. I plan on spending most of the game thread quoting "Anchorman" lines. Anyone have a better idea? If anyone still thinks it matters, we're sending Randy Wells and his scoreless streak (which undoubtedly will end shortly after he takes the mound) out to pitch against someone named Josh Geer (0-0). Sure, we don't know who that is now, but no doubt we will after the game is over, as he'll wind up looking like the next Cy Young against our impotent lineup. Yes, "impotent." I am reminded of Jim Mora when I say "Playoffs? PLAYOFFS? You want to . . . PLAYOFFS?!?!?!?!?!" Lineup to come.

Nooooooooo! I can't take anymore: SAN DIEGO- The Cubs placed Rich Harden on the 15-day disabled list with a back strain on Friday, and inserted Randy Wells into the rotation for Saturday's game. Harden felt a twinge in his last outing last Sunday, and in a subsequent side session this week in St. Louis. With Harden's injury, the Cubs don't have to make any move with the bullpen to reactive Carlos Zambrano, who starts tonight against Jake Peavy. Harden will be eligible to return during the Atlanta series, which begins June 2nd at Turner Field. It's his seventh stint on the disabled list since 2005.

LOST: Cubs offense

Description: This intricate design involves hitting a small ball and then moving in 90-feet segments in a diamond-shaped pattern. When you reach the point from where you started, you get what's known as a "run." The object is to collect as many of these "runs" as possible in order to defeat your opponent.

Last seen: At Wrigley Field last weekend

If found, please return to: St. Louis, ASAP! Or San Diego as a secondary option.

Like drug abuse and DUI convictions, stupid facial hair is part of the long and storied history of the St. Louis Cardinals #$@*%$! So okay, here it is: we aren't hitting much right now, and we have to face Chris Carpenter and that surgically-engineered thing he has in place of his arm. The bad news? It's not good to face Chris Carpenter when he's feeling good. The good news? There's a 95% chance he'll do something else injurious to his arm tonight, and we'll be there to see it. It cuts both ways, people.

Yeah well, I'm not thrilled with this conversation, either   I've gone back and forth today over whether or not to write this diary. I mean, it's not like it hasn't been discussed; there isn't much left of the dead horse. But while I was out driving around today, I listened to Dan Bernstein (who I normally love) sniff derisively at a fan who called in to suggest exactly what many of us have been saying: that Lee should sit until Hoffpauir cools off. From there, the conversation devolved into Dan berating the caller over how anyone could be so stupid as to think that Hoffpauir is a better ballplayer than Lee, which included calling those who frequent baseball blogs "sock puppets" and a rather unfair imitation of what was presumably the way Dan imagined the caller making out a lineup card.

I kind of feel like the caller got skewered for ALL of us who hold this point of view, so let's clear a few things up. No, I don't think whoever has the higher batting average on any given day should start. No, I don't think that Hoffpauir will hit above .300 for the entire season. And no, I don't think the Padres will take Hoffpauir for Jake Peavy. And no, I'm not a sock puppet who lives in my parents' basement fits watching baseball in between playing "World Of Warcraft" and watching old episodes of "Stargate Atlantis."

Sigh. That fastball is dreamy   Welcome to LOHO's first EVER "Choose Your Own Adventure" game thread!

 1) Adventure A (for the chicks--by cubbiejulie)

Sweet Peavy High

OhmygodohmygodomygodOHMYGOD, you guys!

You know that guy on the basebal team that like, we've wanted, like, FOREVER???? He's TOTALLY going to be playing in a game tonight against OUR TEAM!!!!!! And like, I bet he'll look so totally cool and be all, like, good and stuff. And after the game, we'll like totally want him EVEN MORE!!!!

And Oh my God! I totally forgot! Do you like even KNOW who he's pitching AGAINST?!?!?!? You know that new guy with the supercute, like, BUTT???? Totally him! Wouldn't it be awesome if like, that other guy decided he wanted to play on our team? And like, we found a way to get him???? And then like, we'd have BOTH the cool guy AND the guy with the supercute butt on our team?

Would you die? I would DIE. Would you, like, DIE?

I have to go home and like, re-crimp my hair before the game and get those sweat pants that say "Rich's" across the butt. You know those ones? Totally those. So . . . I'll see you at the game!!! Love ya!

Have mothers not suffered enough? Is it not enough to gain 50lbs with each pregnancy and have your body irrevocably changed for the rest of your days, never to wear a bikini again? Are we not unable to make our way across a room without a small person attaching themselves to our legs and screeching about something?

Do we have to watch really crappy baseball, too?

The only part of Ararmis Ramirez currently un-injured. Yes, we lost last night. Yes, we're back in 4th place, once again looking up at the Reds (boo!). Yes, Aramis Ramirez has been mortally wounded, thus necessitating additional playing time for Aaron Miles. Yes, Ryan Freel is now for some reason on our team. Yes, I have a headache. I suppose I could sit here and give you all a list of silver linings after yesterday's debacle, but I won't. Because Umbra has already done it for me:

Our hero. A trade! Hooray! Kind of. . . . There's nothing I like better than having a trade sprung on us (WHAMO!!!!) out of nowhere. It's exicting, fraught with possibilities, and breaks up those long days before a night game. That said, I become immediately less exicted upon hearing that the trade involves the Orioles, populated as they are with washed-up, bad-at-baseball, former Cubs.

After three glorious days with our heads in the clouds, we've come crashing back down to earth; or, more to the point, to 4th place. I understand that yesterday was a get-away day and all that, but dude Lou, did you seriously have to just throw the game? There's no way he expected that lineup to win. And now we're back looking up at the Reds, which makes me CRAZY.

Luckily for us, the regulars will be back in the lineup tonight. That's good news, right? To have the regulars back? Right? That group includes Derrek Lee, who is batting .108 (4-for-37) on the road; Milton Bradley, who is hitting .128 for the season; Aramis Ramirez, who is hitting .333 overall, but has been limited because of a left calf strain; and Geovany Soto, who is batting .167. Oh right. Those guys. Hrmm. I don't suppose there's a chance you'd consider sitting Lee in Houston, is there, Lou?

Admit it, this is a lot better than a week ago   While Cubbie Nation attempts to recover from the shock of discovering that Ryan Theriot is now a power hitter, the Cubs prepare to take on the Giants once again.

Keeping the streak alive ---photo by oscar alexander   At the 3:00 minute mark comes the advice I live my life by:

Ah, Reds fans. So angry, so hapless, stuck with such a horrible mascot.

I remember back in 2007 (2008?) when they signed Dusty Baker to manage their perennial also-ran team. They were so smug, so certain it was the Cubs that brought Dusty down. So convinced that things would be different once Dusty got to their fair city.

Alas, after two years of Dusty's reign and a campaign against base-clogging of unparalleled prorportions, will they still feel the same?

Let's go to Red Reporter to find out.

"After Janish's performances so far It's really hard to chalk Gonzalez's playing time up to anything other than Dusty's veteran-love."

by Brendanukkah on Apr 21, 2009 11:32 AM EDT

Hmm. Veteran love. I remember it so well.

I was supportive of Dusty being a "player's manager." But now we really see that he's a very selective player's manager, equally willing to stand by certain players and run others under the bus

by andromache on Apr 21, 2009 11:59 AM EDT

You're telling me. Do you know this guy Neifi? He's a little weiner. . . .*

(*100 LOHO points to whoever gets that reference)

I think most of us can clearly recognize that this is the beginning (or the middle) of the end of the Alex Gonzalez era in Cincinnati and I've got to think that this has at least crossed Dusty's mind as well. But baseball guy conventional wisdom says you can't bench a starter after nine lousy starts and player's manager conventional wisdom says you've gotta make every excuse imaginable for your starters before you allow fans and beat reporters to come to the conclusion that your guy is washed up and needs to be replaced.

by Fat Vegas Alan on Apr 21, 2009 2:03 PM EDT

The only thing I HATED more in the Dusty-era than veteran-love was conventional manager wisdom.

So, as much as I really think a city that still brings up WKRP every change it gets should sit down and shut up, I know we all feel Reds fans' pain.

Tonight Rich Harden (0-1)and his perfectly-scultped butt takes the rubber against super-duper hitting pitcher Micah Owings (0-1). It's cold and sleeting out here to the west, so I'm not sure tonight's game gets in, either  (ducks and covers). Either way, it's going to be a miserable night to be at the ol' ballpark. Grab a warm toddy, start a fire, kick back, flip to WGN and enjoy the game here at LOHO. We promise not to allow concrete to fall on your head.

Lineups to come.