A League of Her Own

Game Recap Archives

Tylermania! Impaled But Okay; Out For The Season

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Freeze frame of WGN feed via @KeithOlbermann

Watch the video here before mlb takes it down. 

Per Paul Suliivan

MIAMI -- Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium.

Colvin was scoring from third on Welington Castillo's RBI double when a piece of bat hit him in his chest. He was transported to the Ryder Trauma Unit of Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami, where X-rays were taken and the wound was being sutured.

He's being treated for pneumothorax, a puncture of the chest cavity, which allowed air into the chest wall and the potential of a collapsed lung. A tube was inserted into the wound, and Colvin is resting comfortably, but will remain hospitalized for 2-3 days for further examination, and manager Mike Quade said he will not play again this season.

Photos: See photos of the incident and today's game here

Colvin was not in labored breathing, and there was very little blood. There was no immediate word on the depth of the wound, though it was only a few inches from his heart, and his neck, and could've been much more serious. The sharp end of the larger piece of Castillo's broken bat is what went into Colvin's chest, but it did not stick into the chest. 

Marlins catcher Mike Rivera said it was scary and looked like "he was being stabbed."

The Cubs said there was minimal external bleeding.

And maybe NOW we can do something about maple bats. 

Soriano Put On Notice/Cubs Live Game Thread


Photo courtesy of berselius

And not in the fun, Stephen Colbert kind of way.

A Cubs source says Soriano has been put on notice that he must show something of value at the plate and in the field soon.

Or else.

It makes sense to anyone who watches that this move is necessary and probably overdue, but a week into the season, manager Lou Piniella is bending over backward to give Soriano another chance after a dreadful 2009.

Soriano managed a couple of soft singles Monday to raise his average to .200, but at 34 and looking older by each misplayed flyball, Soriano's $18 million a year for five more years might not matter because Piniella apparently intends to field the best team possible - veterans be darned - knowing this could be his final season.

You all know my feelings about Soriano, so I'll spare you a re-hashing of all the reasons I can't stand him. Feel free to post all the metrics you want about why he's an above-average fielder, underpaid, blah-blah-blah. This is my kneejerk reaction to watching him drop 57,000 routine popups and strike out 15,398 times on three pitches. And I'm sticking to it.

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Cubs Live Game Thread: Maybe We're Looking At This All Wrong


Photo by @plamorte

"Julie," you say, "You can't have TWO photos of the bullpen as pigs on the same day. In fact, photoshopping the heads of pigs onto the bodies of our relievers is exactly why the Cubs front office doesn't consider bloggers to be 'real' media."

True. But they should have thought of that before they gave us a pigpen full of stinky relievers. Oink! Oink!

But your point is well-taken. And I've been thinking, perhaps we've been looking at this all wrong. Instead of thinking it's the job of the pigpen to STOP the other team from scoring more runs and HOLD them to less runs than we have, maybe we need to ACCEPT that the pigpen is going to do their best to give away every game. Kind of like that water hazard you hit on the 15th hole that does you in every time. So we need to PLAN for the pigpen to completely implode. Stick with me, there are some added benefits to this plan:

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Cubs Live Game Thread (Now With Headlines!)


Photoshop by @plamorte

The time? 2:00 pm CT

The link? This one 

The place? In front of your tv. With your computer.

The call-in number for questions/comments?               347-884-8570       

The event? Adam, Tim and Julie do their best to make you laugh during the first hour of the Cubs game. It will either be really, really funny, or something we will never speak of again.

But before we get to the FIRST TELEVISED GAME OF THE SEASON, we have to get to the headlines.

Did you miss the game yesterday? Oh right, we all did. Good thing the AP is here to tell us all about it:

MESA, Ariz. -- Justin Upton's sixth-inning grand slam, his first hit since signing a $51.25 million, six-year contract, wasn't enough for the Arizona Diamondbacks in an 8-7 loss to the Chicago Cubs on Friday.

Brad Snyder hit a two-run, ninth-inning double off Esmerling Vasquez to rally Chicago in a game that began with the Cubs' Carlos Zambrano and Diamondbacks' Dan Haren each pitching two hitless innings.

Tyler Colvin had a two-run single and a double, giving the Cubs' No. 1 2006 amateur pick three doubles, a homer, a single and three RBIs in six at-bats. Fellow first-rounders Brett Jackson (2009) and Josh Vitters (2007) and top prospect Starlin Castro also had hits in Chicago's four-run fifth.

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Cubs Live Game Thread: Holding Out for a Hero


I'm guessing these MLB 2K9 commericials don't make everyone laugh as hard as I do, but for some reason the idea of Tim Lincecum walking around and office makes me laugh.

Speaking of Tim Linceum, Z (8-6) will be taking him on tonight. Did I mention he's 14-6? And he's like. . . 15 or something, so that's pretty impressive. As for the Cubs, Z and the rest of the boys will be hoping to stave off elimination for one more day, mostly because none of us want to see the stupid Cards dancing around on the mound celebrating. At least, not quite yet.

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Chicago Cubs News

These are tough times in sports. Baseball is coming off a decade-long steroid binge. Michael Phelps lost a race because of some unknown dude's fancy-schmancy suit. Michael Vick is out of prison and dogs are freely available to him. Lance just barely made it onto the podium in gay Paris.

At a time like this, one man, and one man only, has the moxie to pull professional sports back from the brink of the abyss.


God Bless Ronny Cedeno. And America.

  Ronny Cedeno has returned to the National League Central:

The Pittsburgh Pirates today announced that they have acquired first baseman Jeff Clement, shortstop Ronny Cedeno and right-handed pitchers Aaron Pribanic, Brett Lorin and Nathan Adcock from the Seattle Mariners organization in exchange for shortstop Jack Wilson and right-handed pitcher Ian Snell. The announcement was made by Pirates Senior Vice President, General Manager Neal Huntington.


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Chicago Cubs Friday Night Open Thread

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If you missed the game today, count yourself amongst the lucky.


It. . . it wasn't good.

It's in times like these when I find this Camus quote most helpful:

"All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out."                        --Albert Camus

In a desperate attempt to keep 90% of this community off the ledge, I'm asking you tonight what makes you happy these days? What sweetness do you turn to when you feel too worn out? Because God knows it's not the Chicago Cubs these days.

Tonight, for me, it's that there are still songwriters in the world writing lyrics like these:

From the entrance to the exit
Is longer than it looks from where we stand
I want to say I'm sorry for stuff I haven't done yet
Things will shortly get completely out of hand
I can feel it in the rotten air tonight
In the tips of my fingers
In the skin on my face
In the weak last gasp of the evening's dying light
In the way those eyes I've always loved illuminate this place
Like a trashcan fire in a prison cell
Like the searchlights in the parking lots of hell
I will walk down to the end with you
If you will come all the way down with me

                         -The Mountain Goats

                          "Old College Try"

No matter how bad the Cubs get, they will never be able to ruin songwriting. I don't think.

Your turn.

"No matter how bad the Cubs get,  . . . . . . . ?"



Chicago Cubs Game Recap: Don't Look At Lou

Cleveland Indians vs Chicago Cubs

In case you missed the game today, let me feel you in.

It sucked.

When asked after the game why the team (still) wasn't hitting, Lou responded, "Go ask the players why they aren't hitting. Go ask the hitting coach."

Right on, Lou.

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Cubs v. Sox Game Recap/Podcast Preview

"And Jim is SURE this is the team I was supposed to have?"

Well, that sucked. If you can stand to read the recap, feel free to help yourself here.

Personally, I've found this day to be pretty depressing. We lose to the Sox, I have to buy cheap beer for an over-the-hill former Sock, the US Men's Soccer Team completely choked in our biggest game EVER against Brazil, and Billy Mays is dead.

I invite everyone to vent their frustrations over this team, Lou, Milton, the barage of media coverage of Michael Jackson's body, and whatever else you want to talk about tonight at LOHO's weekly podcast tonight at 8:00 CT/9:00 ET. Topics this week will include Matt and I arguing over who was stupider in the Lou/Milton smackdown, why Cubs fans just can't let DeRosa go, and WTF is wrong with our bullpen?

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Cubs 5, Sox 4

White Sox-Cubs

Milton, while still in the ballpark

So I've been wondering how long it would take for our fears to be confirmed. Following a pop-up to shallow left, Milton Bradley, he of the world-wide conspiracy to keep him down, apparently had words with manage Lou Piniella before stomping off into the clubhouse. Bradley was then replaced by Ryan Freel.

Of course it's Lou's fault that Bradley can't hit the broad side of a barn this season. Shortly thereafter, both Paul Sullivan and Carrie Muskat reported that Bradley and his ever-present persecution complex were seen in street clothes heading to the players' parking lot. All this while his teammates were fending off a furious White Sox rally in the bottom of the 8th.

In the post-game press conference, Lou says he told Milton to take his uniform off and go home. Lou added that he's tired of the throwing of helmets and tempertantrums in the dugout, adding that he's looked the other way too many times. Lou went on to say that he and Z followed Milton into the dugout to make sure that he took his uniform off and left. That was apparently where Lou and Milton had words. To quote Lou, "It was time." 

 Follow me below the jump for the inevitable "I Told You So."

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Chicago Cubs 6, Chicago White Sox 5


If you stopped watching this game because you figured it was going to be another depressing, offenstively-lacking suck fest, all I have to say to you is:


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Friday Chicago Cubs Recap

Milton Bradley


Hey Milton, a word? Uh. . . put the bat down? Thanks.

So. . um. Rough day today, huh? Actually, it's been a rough season for you. Kinda a rough career, too. When you really think about it. Do you have any idea why that is? I mean, a hitter of your ilk playing for 9 teams in 9 years, that's . . . unusual, dontcha think? Grab a seat. Let's chat.

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Ted Asserts Dominion Over Dodgers, Cubs Win.

Ted is unstoppable.

He lasted 7 innings, giving up only four hits, one run (a solo blast by Matt Kemp), and striking out 5. Koyie Hill drove in one run on a solo homer, and the rest of the Cubs lineup spent the entire game trying to get an additional run across the plate. After a stern talking-to from Ted, they succeeded. 

For his part, Groggles (Kevin Gregg) managed not to amass anymore death threats as a result of this game.

Tomorrow Ryan Dempster steps up for his turn against the Dodgers. Will he be able to convince me to give up calling him "Dumpster?" Tune in tomorrow to find out!

LOHO Continues To Fuel Cub Win-Streak





With LOHO's new digs rejuvenating the entire team and their tempers, the Cubs extended their win-streak today to 2 games. However, all victories, as we know, require sacrifice; this game was no exception.


After plate umpire Mark Carlson ruled Pittsburgh left fielder Nyjer Morgan safe at home on a wild pitch in the top of the seventh inning, Zambrano protested that he got the tag down before Morgan's hand touched the plate.

An angry Zambrano then got in Carlson's face and was ejected. But in typical Big Z fashion, he then put on a show that whipped the crowd of 38,314 into a frenzy. He pretended as though he was ejecting Carlson, before putting a shoulder into the umpire, earning a probable suspension of around 7-10 games.

The Cubs, however, believe that Carlson is the one who initiated contact with Zambrano, and plan to argue that if and when Zambrano is suspended.

Manager Lou Piniella said a review of the video will reveal "the umps sort of walks (into Zambrano) a little bit."

The worst, however, was yet to come.

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Game Recap/Podcast Preview

Try not giving up so many hits next time

All good things must come to an end, including really fun 5-game win streaks that pull you within half a game of first.

This is about all you need to know:

Derrek Lee hit a solo homer and an RBI double for the Cubs. Rich Harden (4-2), who took the loss, gave up four runs on six hits over six innings while striking out seven. The loss ended his personal win streak at four.
Oh, and believe it or not, Derrek Lee, who OBVIOUSLY has been listening to the LOHO podcasts (wherein we discuss replacing him with Hufflepuff on a weekly basis), went 5-4 today.
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Chicago Cubs 6, Florida Marlins 4

We won't be seeing this for a while

Let's start right off with the bad news:

Carlos Zambrano left in the fifth inning of Sunday's 6-4 victory over the Marlins -- one for which he earned the 'W' -- and pinch-runner Rich Harden scored the eventual go-ahead run when Derrek Lee hit a grand slam.

Zambrano will be evaluated the next two days to determine the extent of damage, but his next start Friday in Houston is in serious question.

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