Contests Archives

Dear Chase,

Hey, remember back in the Winter/Spring of 2008/2009 when your business was in serious trouble? If I remember correctly, you were pretty much screwed. Back then, American taxpayers, against their better judgment, I would add, ponied up $25 billion to help out your bank alone. At the time, you promised to do everything you could to pay back the money and be the kind of banking institution America would be proud of.

Fast forward to last night. My wallet was stolen. Someone cleaned out my accounts, using my debit and credit cards all over town. In fact, you let someone overcharge my account by more than $1500 on a DEBIT card. Isn't the whole point of a debit card that you're supposed to verify the amount in my account before letting a charge go through? I guess not.

Less than 24 hours later, I discovered my missing wallet and contacted your customer service reps. Guess what? Even though America helped out in your time of need, you have decided you aren't going to do the same. Even though the biggest charge (which was over $3500 at a Chicago Target--and seriously, when have I EVER spent $3500 at Target?) hasn't posted to my account yet, you refuse to "stop payment" on it. Which means that I have to let the charge post to my account (48-72 hours) before I can even dispute it. Then I have to wait until 3-4 days for you to reimburse my account. This basically means that my bank account is empty for the next week.

Know what the funniest thing about all of this is? This is what it says on your website:

Your Chase Debit Card comes with built-in security and safety -- at no cost to you. Our ultimate fraud protection tools will really put your mind at ease:

• Real-time fraud monitoring - If a transaction's out of character from your normal spending habits, we'll contact you to make sure it's actually yours.
• Free Security Alerts - Sign up and we'll call or e-mail you if a card purchase or ATM withdrawal exceeds a limit you've set.
• Zero Liability protection1 - You're not responsible for any unauthorized card transactions.
• Guaranteed credit - Unauthorized purchases and withdrawals are back in your account by the end of the next business day.
  

Wow--that's funny. That doesn't sound at ALL like what your mechanical, scripted, unsympathetic customer service employees told me on the phone.

So Chase, thanks for nothing. And all your warm and fuzzy commercials about how Chase will have my back and is "Everywhere To Me" are a complete crock of shit. Thanks for screwing over the very people who bailed your asses out less than a year ago. Oh, and for blatantly lying on your webiste. By the way, I'll be contacting the FTC and my state Attorney General about that.

As soon as my account is reimbursed, I'll be taking my money out of Chase and putting it in a bank that pays more than lip service to customer care. And I plan to spend a lot of my time in the coming days and weeks urging all my friends to do the same.

Once again, drop dead. And, on behalf of America, I hope your bank goes under.

No love,

Julie

(readers should use the comment section below to discuss other incidents in which Chase has completely screwed other taxpayers over)

I bet you're wondering why I'm kicking off our annual "Free Agent Frenzy" contest with a video of the Muppets singing "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Well, it's because a) it's way more interesting than anything going on in hot stove right now, and b) it's also pretty much the greatest thing ever put on the internet. It makes me happy in ways I can't even begin to describe. But I digress.

It's time for LOHO's Annual Free Agent Frenzy Contest!!!!

(pauses to wait for cheering to stop)

 

Congrats to herlihy, who submitted the gem shown above. I'm sure he'll be more than willing to send us a photo of him sporting his new thong! 

And thanks to everyone who submitted their hilarious mottos, giving us all something to do on an otherwise boring Friday afternoon.

Don't forget to stop by tomorrow when LOHO has the official Chicago Now Bears Live Game Thread. No, I don't think CN is wise to trust us with so much responsibility, either. Whaddya gonna do? 

Want to read more about Lilly missing the start of the season? Go here.  Want to hear about how well Josh Vitters is doing in the AFL? Go here.

Personally, I'd rather give away this striking thong. So let's get to it.

One the following page you will see a list of the 25 best 2010 Cubs mottos submitted yesterday. Your task? Vote for one.

And for those of you who were curious about thong sizing, let me clear some things up. If you're shopping for a thong at say, Victoria's Secret or Perla, they definitely come in various sizes. However, it appears that Cubs thongs found at Amazon.com are indeed "one size fits all." So there you have it.

Happy voting.

And don't forget--LOHO has the officiall CN Bears thread tomorrow, so stop by! Let's all huddle together, hold hands, and pray that we've found an offensive line somewhere.

 

Welcome to LOHO's 2010 Chicago Cubs Motto Contest!

The rules here are simple: whoever comes up with the best motto for this team wins. In order to keep this from devolving into an "Aaron Miles Sucks" contest (which we'll be having later in the month), let's keep the mottos to two themes: the Chicago Cubs as a franchise through history (see above) OR something specific to the 2010 team. So, for example, Milton Bradley jokes aren't going to get you anywhere.

If you want, you can use the motivational poster maker like I did, but feel free to just type out your motto in the comments, too. There's no need to be fancy.

All submissions must be in by 5:00 pm CT tonight. The LOHO editors will then pick the best motto. The winner will receive (drumroll please) . . . . .