A League of Her Own

Tuesday Cubs Headlines: Samardzija Tries To Lose, Fails

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Can't you do anything right?

Sigh.

The former Notre Dame football star pitched 5 2/3 shutout innings on Monday in a 5-1 win over St. Louis, pushing the Cardinals seven games behind the Reds in the National League Central race.

With Cincinnati's win, however, the Cubs were mathematically eliminated from the postseason, officially extending their long-running championship drought to 102 years.

I know what you all are thinking. 6 shuout innings? That sounds like a good night for ole Spellcheck!

Trust me, it wasn't all that great. His line:

5.2 IP/6 H/0 R/4 BB/1 K/7.00

See what I mean? And this is leaving out the fact that he loaded up the bases a couple of times and did his damndest to give up a grand salami which, regrettably, wound up a few feet short.

Oh, but he did bean Pujols, so that was fun.

Hee.

See, here's the thing. I know you all think I just hate Spellcheck, And heck, he seems like such a likable young man with the football and the hair and everything. But look people, this is a guy who once gave up 157 hits in a game and said he "felt strong" out there. This is the guy who showed up at college parties in a Von Dutch hat and no shirt. This is a guy who has been chased back to Iowa so many times that he exchanges holiday cards with the Greyhound bus driver.

And if he doesn't start living up to his legendary suckitude soon, he's going to wind up in our starting rotation.

Mark my words. 

Samardzija is out of options next year, when he is guaranteed $2.8 million in the final year of his five-year, $10 million deal. There's little doubt he'll make the Cubs, though his role may be determined by how he finishes this year. He conceded the time he spent in Iowa mastering his off-speed pitches paid off.

"I have confidence in 'em to throw them in big situations," he said. "It's a lot better than just throwing a fastball 2-0, 2-1, when they know what's coming. It really opens up some things for you."

See? SEE?

However, I will concede that I would probably hate him for all his terrible innings a lot less if he didn't have that stupid hair.

Happy?

Those of you still hoping for a late surge will be disappointed to know that the Cubs were officially elminated from the NL Central race last night. For me, this occasion was attended by overwhelming relief, much in the same way one is relieved when the county finally comes and puts roadkill that's been laying in the sun for three days out of its misery.

Oh, and don't look now, but we might have a frontrunner for the managerial spot:

ST. LOUIS --- Manager Mike Quade's 37-game audition for the 2011 job was halfway over Monday, and the Cubs' x-x win overthe Cardinals left him with a 12-7 record.

The Cubs have 18 games remaining, including seven against NL West contenders San Francisco and San Diego.

"He's doing an outstanding job," general manager Jim Hendry said. "I couldn't be happier for him. He's managing the game well, managing the personnel well, managing the clubhouse well. ... I think the guys are playing hard for him. Obviously we're playing a lot of young guys, pitching a lot of young guys, and I told him I was never hung up with the record. We're winning our share and getting a lot of improvement from the young kids."

I have this feeling that Quade is going to wind up as manager and Ryne is going to wind up as his bench coach, but that's just me.

For those of you who have been up nights gnashing your teeth over Carlos Silva's latest injury, you'll be happy the know the big guy is a-ok.

 The Cubs e-mail me to say that Silva has right-elbow tendinitis. He was examined by the team doctor today and will rejoin the club in St. Louis. The Cubs will take it from ther.

In defense of Bruce's typos, this was posted on his blog, not the actual beat writer column. No one expects proper English from bloggers.

The Cubs are back at it tonight in St. Louis. Be there. 

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46 Comments

JulieDiCaro said:

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How far awry have your plans gone if you wind up in prison known as "the undewear bomber?"

kiwibob said:

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Are you kidding?
There's nothing more frightening than your boss saying something along the lines of "I couldn't be happier for him"...
Hendry's over-the-top endorsement sounds like sayonara to me...

JulieDiCaro said:

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LOL.

"I couldn't be happier for him because I know his record here will tranlsate into great success somewhere else."

I dunno, I just don't think it's going to be Ryno.

kiwibob said:

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I actually think that's exactly who it's going to be... I think Ryno will get the job as long as Joe Girardi turns it down.
That's how it feels anyway.
And if Ryno gets the job and the team sucks, we still get to wonder if he's going to go bonkers and get chucked out of the game 'cos, going by his minor league record, he's like a young Lou Piniella when it comes to getting tossed.
Next year!

Doc said:

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If the Yankees are still in the playoffs by October 15th, Girardi is out. The Cubs want to have their new guy in place by the beginning of November. I believe you are right about Sandberg, though.

Doc said:

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FREDI!!!!!

Quik said:

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Haha how lame of a life I lead! What's more lame is that I can totally see my chubby, but only if I use a magnifying glass. Hate hate hate hate! Oh but I know where all this hate comes from towards people who don't think Smarj can pitch very well...cue my house growing up: "Mom, Dad, can I have a hug?" "Hell, no. Have you seen you?"

And . . . scene. I'm sorry I suck so bad.

JulieDiCaro said:

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You don't think being a Cubs fans is psychologically damaging enough to cause me to hate everything? If I were you, I'd start there.

AndCounting said:

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Yeah, Julie, you're the one with the hate problem. Do you mind if I just delete this tired shit?

JulieDiCaro said:

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keep it.

I would have responded sooner but I have a whopper in each hand.

AndCounting said:

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Okay, I kept it. But, it appears to have been altered. Damn these cursed internetz!

plamorte said:

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it was altered bc i was about to post "mmmm hot wings" anyway F 'em, we love ya JC!

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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Don't forget we're having Old Country Buffet for lunch!

Cubs Psychologist said:

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Yea!! Cakes and Pies, Cakes and Pies!! Much love for CJ!! Can I get an Amen??

sloan peterson said:

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Mr Quik?( I'm assuming you're a dude,since women would not use a name like "Quik")Anyway what was the point of your post-other than to show you really can't spell, added nothing to the conversation about the game, and with the name "quik",may have revealed your er, shortcomings in other areas.........

gravedigger said:

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Also (now I'm just amusing myself), I've got to imagine "Quik" looks like this or this

JulieDiCaro said:

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hee hee.

i'm always amused by the lengths Domers will go to in order to defend ND, especially since 90% of the die-hards didn't go there.

sloan peterson said:

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I'll have to wait till I get home to see the photos, but I imagine I will not be disappointed..

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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Aramis to stay in Chicago next year.

kiwibob said:

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"And you can print it: I have confidence in Jim. He's a smart guy. He's going to turn this around.''
That sounds like the second over-the-top endorsement of the day.

JulieDiCaro said:

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"Rex is our quaterback."

gravedigger said:

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"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky"

Doc said:

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I know he hinted otherwise a few days ago, but, really, there was no chance he was going to opt out.

gravedigger said:

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In case I've never mentioned it before, I love Aramis.

Edelweiss said:

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Is the feeling mutual? Wait, I thought you loved Baker.

berselius said:

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LOL. That Samardzija pic reminds me of the Berkman pic that MO used to post all the time over at ACB

Doc said:

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That's the, "I know I made the wrong choice, so leave me alone or I'll take this ball and shove it up your ass" look.

Doc said:

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Quade may very well be the manager next year...

But Ryno will not be his bench coach. I believe he will be a manager next year, and if it's not with the Cubs, he will go somewhere else. I'm pulling this completely out of my ass, but if Joe Torre does retire after this season, I'm not sure that Dodgers are convinced about Don Mattingly replacing him. I believe Ned Colletti would love to bring Sandberg in to LA next year.

flyball said:

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now that would make for an interesting Cubs Convention

gravedigger said:

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What does the "Cubs x-x win yesterday" mean?

Doc said:

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It means that Paul Sullivan wasn't paying attention enough to the game to know what the final score yesterday actually was. What a bum.

JulieDiCaro said:

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*snort*

I didn't even notice it.

Doc said:

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They have some great editors over at the Trib.

JulieDiCaro said:

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The one day I'm not in court at the Daley Center, Dwayne Wade is there and my buddy Lester is the child's rep in his case. :(

Doc said:

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custody case?

flyball said:

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I just saw the standings flags, I don't even know how to react to that

sloan peterson said:

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I recognise Janice Dickenson, but who is the guy? Probably someone I should know, but I just got out of a very confusing 2 hour meeting at work, and my celebrity recognition skills are low right now....

Doc said:

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I'm not sure what the hell the deal is with that, but I'm fairly sure that picture will cause some monitoring software to filter out this site now.

Ugh!

plamorte said:

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it's Spellecheck, photo from an old LOHO post this year, "If they weren't Cubs..."

secdelahc said:

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I wasn't sure what to make of it at first. Now I'm just hoping I don't have nightmares.

cadarnell said:

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I just hope that the next guy, whoever that might be, plays guys for the right reason .. WINNING !!!!.... Of course when a player gets a big contract you'd expect him to get a good chance to earn it, but if he doesn't, then try someone else. If spellcheck has improved and looks to be the best we have, then he should start. Same as any other player. I'm just sooooo glad we still have big Z. I think he's gonna be right next year ... I really do ...

Doc said:

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teebob2000 said:

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My god, his eyes... they pierce my very soul...

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