A League of Her Own

Dear Chicago Cubs: You're Doing It Wrong/Starlin Castro Called Up

If you're one of the millions of Gen Y-ers who have been quoting "You're doing it wrong" without having any idea of its origin, you should know that my goal today was to show you the original "you're doing it wrong," uttered by Annette (and Alex) in 1983's "Mr. Mom," possibly the best John Hughes film ever made.

Alas, "you're doing it wrong" is nowhere to be found on the internet (feel free to prove me wrong). In its stead, please enjoy this alternate clip from Mr. Mom:

 

Really, I have nothing more to add than "Cubs, you're doing it wrong:"

As nightmares go, losing three straight games to the pitching-poor Pirates ranks right up there with the Astros taking a home series from you and your suffering the worst Opening Day loss since 1884. But the season is young, and chances are the Cubs will have plenty of opportunities to lower, er, raise the bar.Piniella declined to speak to his players afterward the carnage.

"What am I going to say?" he said. "I mean, you should be able to look in the mirror pretty easy after something like this."

There were plenty of mirrors to be looked into. Aramis Ramirez committed two errors at third base and Ryan Theriot made another at shortstop. But Wells' performance was so brutal he deserved a king-sized mirror all to himself.

Wells declined to take questions, instead launching into a profanity-laden soliloquy. He called his outing "terrible" and "unacceptable," referred to himself as "lackadaisical" and accepted the blame for everything but the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

"Everything I've ever preached about why I'm successful, I totally got away from," Wells said. "I came in too cocky, too confident. Warming up in the bullpen, I don't think I missed a pitch. I'm laughing, joking around with Geo (Soto) before the game. Went out there and it was all out of whack, and I let it get out of hand."

Jeez . . .take it easy, Randy. You're 3-1.

I don't really feel like talking about the approval of the Toyota sign, or Crazy Uncle Phil's take on Milton Bradley, or Xavier Nady having a hard time adjusting to limited playing time.

I do, however, feel about Andrew Cashner inching his way closer to the bigs:

SEVIERVILLE - Andrew Cashner pitched like an ace in his farewell for the Tennessee Smokies on Thursday night.

The right-hander limited Mobile to two hits over 5 2/3 innings in a 5-0 victory over the Mobile BayBears to help the Smokies split a doubleheader at Smokies Park. Mobile (14-14) won the opener 8-2.

Cashner (3-1), who was a first round draft pick of the Chicago Cubs in 2008, walked three and struck out eight. He was promoted to Class AAA Iowa and that's going to impact the Smokies.

"Quite a bit when you lose one of your No. 1 guys," Smokies manager Bill Dancy said.

The Cubs play the Reds tonight at Great American Ballpark or whatever. While you're waiting for the game to start, don't forget "Julie & Alex's Excellent Sports Adventure" today at noon CT, and "Wrigley Talk Friday" today at 1:00 pm CT.

And, because it's Friday, we have "5 Songs I've Been Avoiding Admitting Are On My iPod." Here we go:

  • Tic Tok: Ke$ha (this song is the musical version of crack: addictive and terrible for you)
  • Glitter in the Air: Pink
  • Need You Now : Lady Antebellum (DON'T JUDGE ME!!!)
  • Meet Me Halfway: Black Eyed Peas
  •  Viva La Vida: Coldplay

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72 Comments

plamorte said:

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here comes Castro.

Doc said:

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Twitter is all a-buzz...Enrique Rojas from ESPN is reporting Starlin Castro has been called up.

No other source is confirming this right now...and I really don't see how this makes any sense unless Baker, Fontenot or Theriot came down with some injury.

MillsChC said:

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The phrase "Twitter is all a-buzz" makes me kinda wanna puke.

JulieDiCaro said:

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what about "Twitter is all atwitter?"

Umbra said:

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Don't be dense. "Twitter is all twitterpated".

JulieDiCaro said:

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I'm watching it . . not sure what a make of it. @Harrypav says Rojas has confirmed it "in first person," whatever that means.

Doc said:

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I'm wondering if he has confused Castro with Caridad...who I think is just about ready to be reactivated from the DL.

JulieDiCaro said:

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this was exactly my thought.

JulieDiCaro said:

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I forgot to add that I'll be on WGN radio Saturday morning at 11:30 pm CT.

Doc said:

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Five songs I'll never admit are on my....blah blah blah...

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - The Bee Gees
Lost in Love - Air Supply
You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
The Imperial March - John Williams
Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

JulieDiCaro said:

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hey--the Bee Gees are awesome.

Doc said:

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The Bee Gees were awesome before they became all disco...the made some good music back in the early 70's

JulieDiCaro said:

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Bee Gees disco is the only disco I really like. Well, that and "Don't Leave Me This Way."

kiwibob said:

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I'm not sure about this Castro rumour...
How does he help fix anything really and they'd be giving up the chance to control him for an extra year by calling him up so early.
Unless a trade is going down or someone's headed to the DL?

Doc said:

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That's my take exactly...unless Castro can play third base. Anyone that thinks Castro will be better offensively at shortstop than Theriot is being a fool right now. And he still appears to be a bit out of control defensively.

And if someone is hurt, Darwin Barney would have been the more prudent option.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Starlin Castro broke twitter.

Doc said:

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If he comes up to the big leagues...he's going to break a lot of hearts too...because he isn't going to be the savior for this team.

kiwibob said:

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He won't make them better. He might make them worse.

Might make me more interested in watching some games though because I'm considering taking a break after the fiasco that was the Pirates series...

Doc said:

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The one thing that Castro can give this team that it is lacking in abundance is speed. And considering the inconsistent offense we've seen out of this team so far, speed is one thing that could help stabilize things.

But that is a stretch.

kiwibob said:

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It is a stretch.
And not one worth losing that third year for.
It's either 1. A mistaken, false rumour
2. A trade (and I'm not sure how or where from)
or 3. Maybe someone's going on the DL?
But if it's 3. the only person I can think of is Aramis?

Eric From The Dugs said:

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I think he makes the incrementally better. A wee bit.

I think the plan is to move Theriot to second and bump Fontenot. Fontenot's doing pretty well at the plate, but hopefully Castro's success in the minors translates to slightly better production with his speed.

But yeah, the major problem is the black hole that is the middle of our lineup right now. That may fix itself, but that's why we're losing games right now.

kiwibob said:

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Where does Fontenot get "bumped" to?

kiwibob said:

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Just read Julie down below. Tracy gets sent down and Font to the bench then. It still feels like we're being distracted from the main problem and the price is one year less control of Castro who may end up worth controlling.
This baffles me if it's true...

MillsChC said:

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Never seen Mr. Mom... but I'm guessing that this scene is where all the other movies & TV shows that have a "Guy buying a feminine product is embarrassed when the clerk announces a price-check for it over the in-store PA system" ripped it off from.

Or did Mr. Mom just rip it off from somewhere else?

JulieDiCaro said:

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Mr. Mom may have been the first.

I had a giant crush on Michael Keaton growing up. There's nothing better than a 1980's Michael Keaton flick. Gung-Ho is a close second to Mr. Mom.

MillsChC said:

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I think Beetlejuice was my 1st Michael Keaton movie growing up... looking over his resume, I haven't seen any of his stuff before that.

Karen said:

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Not feminine products. He was doing carpool, and he drove in the wrong way. The crossing guard yelled at him that he was doing it wrong.

JulieDiCaro said:

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no--the scene i posted above was the one where he was at the grocery store. it has the feminine products scene in it.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Dave Kaplan says he's "confirmed" it. Castro up to play SS. Theriot to 2B, Tracy to minors.

That makes ZERO sense right now. Why do I think Dave has "confirmed" this by reading all the same things everyone else has?

gravedigger said:

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Because that's how he usually confirms things?

kiwibob said:

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I'm loving this George Rekers story. It just gets better and better....

JulieDiCaro said:

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eh.

these days, when i see someone so militantly anti-homosexual, i just assume they're gay.

kiwibob said:

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I just love the increasingly preposterous and tangled web of tales they weave.

I completely agree with you though.. "Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much" tends to be a fairly accurate gauge....

JulieDiCaro said:

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Guess I know what we're talking about on WTF today . . .

Dmband said:

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I couldnt agree more with you guys.

Makes zero sense to bring up Castro now. If this was the case, we should've brought him up prior to the season. Otherwise, we could've just waited until the service time wasnt an issue.

However, it gives me a reason to continue watching.

Umbra said:

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I thought that by waiting a month, the Cubs do get control for longer than if they had him on the team since the beginning of the season.

Via Fangraphs:

While this is surely a rash move that will draw ire from Cubs fans ready to compare Castro to Corey Patterson, and the Cubs will likely have Castro become a Super Two arbitration-eligible player, they have likely retained his rights for the 2016 season.

gravedigger said:

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Tots agree on Tik Tok, when it comes on my iPod I think "I should really skip this shit... but I'm not gonna."

gravedigger said:

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i think (and if someone already said this forgive me, im too lazy to read up), but if youre going to call up castro, have one of him, theriot, or fontenot play 3B. None can be any worse than ramirez. which saddens me, because i love ramirez.

gravedigger said:

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Nobody has asked the most important question: Is Starlin Castro hot?

gravedigger said:

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Whoa, answer is no. To further elaborate, he looks like a child.

baturkey said:

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More Than A Feeling - Boston
Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, and Pink
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
Disco Prince - We Love Katamari
Tainted Love - Soft Cell

flyball said:

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Spirit in the Sky is great

berselius said:

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One of my favorite songs ever

baturkey said:

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It's not so much the song but that I haven't been in a church in ages.

JulieDiCaro said:

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More Than a Feeling! Yes!

This is one of my favorite vice songs EVER.

Umbra said:

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I don't know how I feel about this. Maybe the hope is that Castro will develop faster and more fully in the majors instead of the minors, and that this better development will make up for what you lose while he's learning the ropes, as well as the service-time considerations.

This is taking a sort-term hit to get a long-term gain, if the Cubs play him regularly enough to develop. I'm going to conveniently forget that this is the opposite of what I said about Felix Pie.

With Fontenot's wOBA at .299 and Baker's at .297, Castro can't do a whole lot worse. I expect Fontenot and Baker to play better, but if the Cubs are in love with Castro, this move makes sense.

gravedigger said:

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I'm going to go with this, for two reasons. One, you generally think things through pretty well. Two, its the opposite of what everyone else is saying, and that's generally my shtick around here.

berselius said:

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I like the Castro move too. The big thing to remember when comparing him with Pie is that when Pie had his shot and Lou gave up on him after 4 games, he was out of options. If Castro struggles, they can just send him down again, no big deal

http://berselius.blogspot.com/2010/05/castro-to-bigs.html

JulieDiCaro said:

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Good points, you should call into WTF today and make them on the air. Otherwise, I shall claim them as my own.

:P

J Pep said:

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I think Lou has seen enough of the noodle arm with no range at short. I am not so sure about Castro's defense, but it can't be any worse than what we have there now. Next we get Z back in the rotation and quit screwing around.

flyball said:

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honestly after watching last night's game there is very little the team could do to look worse out there, if they want to bring up Castro, whatevs

Dmband said:

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Umbra-

I thought that by definition, if he becomes a "Super Two" that this counts as one of those years whereas if they delayed bringing him up, it would have been two years starting next season?

Im not sure about that

Dmband said:

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Correction 3 years starting next season..

"a player can be classified as a "Super Two" and be eligible for arbitration with less than three years of service. ..."

Umbra said:

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The way I read the link made it sound like there was a difference between calling Castro up at the beginning of the season, or waiting a few weeks to do so.

The difference is this: waiting a few weeks gives the Cubs control over Castro through the 2016 season, whereas not waiting gives them control only through 2015. He will still become arb-eligible after 2012 in either case, but by waiting the Cubs have control for an extra year.

Uh...I think.

berselius said:

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Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Jim Croce
The Window - Steve Miller Band
Dive - Nirvana
Roadrunner - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Video Killed the Radio Star - Presidents

flyball said:

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all the ladies call him treetop lover, all the men just call him sir

Umbra said:

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I got very excited for a second that you had selected 'The Widow' by The Mars Volta.

My Top Five, since I'm feeling very College-Indie-Snob:
Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead
The Transfiguration- Sufjan Stevens
The Funeral- Band of Horses
I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab for Cutie
Start a War- The National

The new Band of Horses comes out this month. Music-lovers rejoice.

Eric From The Dugs said:

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I only got Everything All the Time. What's your opinion on album #2?

Umbra said:

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I think it's more consistent than their first, but with fewer home runs (to borrow terminology). I like The Funeral, The Great Salt Lake, and I Go To The Barn Because I Like The more than anything on their second album (Cease to Begin).

But if you're as big a sucker as I am for harmony, Marry Song is probably the best off of CtB.

flyball said:

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Janet Jackson Together Again was what my ipod decided to play as my morning alarm, do you really want me to name the next 4?

oh and the Dinosaur Jr cover of Just Like Heaven makes my head hurt

baturkey said:

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I must find this cover.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Going on air with Alex in 5 minutes:

http://tobtr.com/s/1045823

917-889-9169

plamorte said:

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The Beatles - "Day Tripper"
Kings of Leon - "Molly's Hangover"
Seether - "Fake It"
Blink 182 - "Online Songs"
The Black Crowes - "Hotel Illness"

LostinFla said:

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Castro promotion smells like a panic move and won't directly fix either of the Cubs' 2 biggest problems: lack of production from Lee and Ramirez, and, of course, bullpen woes.

But, as was expressed above, it makes me more interested in the Cubs in the short term, so I will be watching as much as possible when he starts. And, outside of a hot Soriano, this team lacks any players of interest. Management is probably hoping any type of spark from Castro can breath some life back into a daily lineup that's about as exciting as watching paint dry...

Umbra said:

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I think this is a long-term move, not intended to solve a short-term problem. The Cubs have anointed Starlin Castro as their SS of the future, think that he's ready for the majors, and think this will help his development more than dominating in the minors.

LostinFla said:

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Oh, I agree with you that Castro being up is because they (presumably both Hendry and Lou) believe he’s “ready” and will stick, but, still, there’s no reason to call him up after just one month of Double AA ball unless they also believe he can help this club right now. Probably short-sighted since he will probably be the same player if called up in another month (and on more favorable terms for the team), but jobs are on the line and any spark, even just the spark of calling up a big-time prospect, could help prevent the season from slipping away too soon. At least I imagine that’s what the thinking is. Hope it just doesn’t lead to a Corey 2.

From a practical standpoint anything that can reduce the # ABs, the Fontenot/Baker tandem receive, probably helps the team. Baker remains useful against LHP, but has been awful (as expected) against righties, while Fontenot is possibly the most useless ~.300 batter in the history of baseball (no hrs, only 3 extra base hits all year). Since he hasn’t been driving anyone in (and is not hitting for power) why not exploit the fact he is batting .300 and bat him 2nd? Maybe he’d be on base in case Lee or Ramirez make contact.

JulieDiCaro said:

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why can't we have "panic moves" like trading Bobby Hill for Aramis and Kenny Lofton anymore?

Dmband said:

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The way that series went this week, we might be the ones trading Aramis BACK to the Pirates in July in exchange for prospects.

Not really. But YUK

Dmband said:

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Clarification regarding the Super 2:

Rozner on the Score explained in more detail. The top 17% (in terms of days in service) of the players are designated super two. That t
There are 150 days left almost ensuring that Castro will be designated as a super two (based on last years stats for the top 17%). It was his assertion that the Cubs could have likely waited 2 weeks or so, and there would have been a significantly greater chance this year would not have counted as one of the 3 to make him arbitration eligible.

They CAN, however, send him down later in the season and those days would be deducted from his service time. So, in the end, it was a move made to "spark" the team, knowing that they can send him back down for a few weeks to avoid starting the clock.

Mydnyte said:

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What's an iPod? :)

Okay, here are the five for today's theme:

1. Wedding Rain - Liz Story (I'm a piano player - so sue me...)
2. Sing Along - Blue Man Group with Dave Matthews
3. Transformers - Jan Hammer (I'm a TECHNO piano player...)
4. Next Contestant - Nickelback (screw their rep - I'm nuts for a band with a monster bass track but it's gotta be a QUALITY bass track, not just noise)
5. Almost Honest - Megadeth (it's that bass track again...)

Dmband said:

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"From a practical standpoint anything that can reduce the # ABs, the Fontenot/Baker tandem receive, probably helps the team. Baker remains useful against LHP, but has been awful (as expected) against righties, while Fontenot is possibly the most useless ~.300 batter in the history of baseball (no hrs, only 3 extra base hits all year). "

Very well said. Agree on all counts.

cubby23(eric) said:

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Just win, after the Pirate debacle, the Cubs need to find a way to win. I don't even care if it's ugly, so long as there's a W by the end of the night.

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