A League of Her Own

Chicago Cubs Wednesday Headlines: The Day After

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photo by @plamorte

Before we get to the Cubs news this morning, allow me to regale you with tales of our ribald evening.

The photo accompanying this post is the result of Carl and Matt Herlihy speculating about what kinds of people sit in the CBOE (auction-only seats) after many beers. I had no idea a monocle was part of the dress code, but I learn something new from my fellow LOHOers every day. EVERY. DAY.

Without boring you with the details of the evening, which are always far less funny without the alcohol and the setting, I'll say that the high points of the evening involved Matt being (involuntarily) put in charge of an 8-year old girl with a blue streak, a shot glass full of pickles, and Angelene exclaiming in complete shock "JOHN DENVER IS DEAD?!?!?!?!?!?!" Also, hearing "Chelsea Dagger" spread from Wrigley across the rooftops every time the Hawks scored was one of those super-cool Chicago sports moments that I won't soon forget.

But enough about us. On to the Cubs news.

As it turns out, it only took my cross-examining skills and a little muscle from carl and voila! Z is back in the rotation. I know Lou would see things our way:

After dancing around the issue Monday night, Cubs manager Lou Piniella confirmed Carlos Zambrano's long relief stint soon will lead him back to the rotation.

"We're going to stretch him out to get back in the rotation and we'll see exactly when he's ready," Piniella said. "We took a chance that we needed to take. We thought his velocity would increase, and it hasn't. I said this wasn't going to be permanent when we did it. I appreciate the fact that he went out there and gave us his best shot. ...

"I don't know how long it will be. Let's see how long he needs. We'd like to get him two or three appearances out of the bullpen stretched out."

That suggests Zambrano could be back in a few weeks, and certainly should be available by the time of the White Sox series on June 11-13. In the end, it may be up to Zambrano.

If there are any other issues you'd like LOHO to address with the Cubs, please let us know in advance of the June 19 bleacher game (which you all should get tickets for immediately).

And oh yeah--Carlos Silva is 5-0:

Carlos Silva continued his hot pitching Tuesday night at Wrigley Field as he improved to 5-0 with a 6-2 victory over the Rockies.

Silva became the first Cubs starter to begin the season 5-0 since Greg Maddux in 2006, but 15 minutes after the game, he already was done celebrating.

"I laughed already, enjoyed it already," Silva said. "Time to get ready for the next game."

The Cubs have their first three-game winning streak since April 30-May 2, moving to four games below .500 at 18-22.

Aaaaaand, it looks like Sean Marshall is going to be the new set-up guy. Seems like we could have gotten there without moving Z into the pigpen, but what do I know?

After striking out with Esmailin Caridad and Carlos Zambrano in the setup role, the Cubs finally have turned the duty over to their most effective middle reliever, Sean Marshall.

"I'm just here to get guys out," Marshall said. "Everything revolves around my curveball. It has been pretty good this year. I've been able to change angles and throw it for strikes when I need to. It has made my other pitches better."

If you feel left out and seething with anger about missing last night's rooftop gala, remember that the annual LOHO Bleacher Game will take place on Saturday, June 19. All you have to do is get a bleacher ticket for the game and wait. When the time is right, we will come for you.

 Cubs are in Philly against the ageless Jamie Moyer tonight at 6:05 pm CT.



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64 Comments

Edelweiss said:

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Most of the Dickball players are not pitchers.

Teebob2000 said:

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I'd like to point out the the Cubs win AGAIN when I'm in attendance!!! Thank you, thank you very much.

cadarnell said:

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we need you tee ... go to Philly!!!

JulieDiCaro said:

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hey--why didn't you come meet us at Murphy's before the game?

Teebob2000 said:

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Stupidly we decided to try the PACE shuttle from Yorktown instead of driving ourselves. (The logic being even the designated driver can have a few beers because you don't drive until 3 hours after the 7th.) The bus didn't get to the park until probably 6:15. Nothing like standing on a crowded bus traveling at highway speeds through bouncy construction zones after having drunk many, many beers in the preceding hours. On so many levels, it's not a good idea.

gravedigger said:

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OK. I'm enjoying this, but I'm not going to get sucked in or change my belief that this team will finish behind everyone but the Astros.

AndCounting said:

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I really love that picture despite the presence of Mr. Peanut, who scared the living crap out of me as a child. I know he doesn't wear a monocle or top hat, but I think Commander McBragg would fit in nicely as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkZzLUvuLLU

Also, the Cubs are the best team in all the world.

gravedigger said:

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I also like the pictures.

Also, thanks Julie for not posting all the details of your guys' time. There's nothing quite as fun as reading several paragraphs of "I guess you had to be there" material with no payoff.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Perfect

Dmband said:

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That discussion and subsequent picture are hilarious.

Nice work on bringing home the W last night gang...

Dmband said:

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Oh and If I may approach the bench....

If it pleases the court I'd like to motion to have WAMRUS officially inducted in the LOHO lingo section if Senor Silva is able to get to 10 wins.

Thank you, your honor.

flyball said:

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did I miss something?

gravedigger said:

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Oh my god, I hate, hate, hate Chicago Now. I hate the comment monster. I hate the people who design this piece of shit that leads to me typing a long comment and it just disappears. You are terrible at what you do and I hate you personally as a human being for being so awful. God dammit, CN, thanks for nothing.

Edelweiss said:

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It has probably happened to most of us.

Dmband said:

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Great Rant GD....I couldnt agree more.

Teebob2000 said:

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Do we want to know that "an 8-year old girl with a blue streak" means??

Teebob2000 said:

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*what* it means, not *that*, dumbass.

JulieDiCaro said:

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well, I wanted to say "who could curse a blue streak," but then i realized i don't know if she ever actually cursed.

i would compare her, street-wise, to tatum o'neil in 'paper moon.'

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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On one beer retrieving mission I heard her dad telling someone else that she called someone a pastard, yes, with a p.

flyball said:

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is it weird that I really like Jamie Moyer? I mean how can the guy still be pitching, I think he might be a jedi "you will see a fastball" "this is not the pitch you wanted to hit"

my only consilation in not being able to watch or listen to tonight's game is that I'm keeping a Phillies fan from it as well

Teebob2000 said:

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Not weird at all. I catch the Phils games whenever he's pitching, it's pretty incredible. And he's fun to watch at bat too, believe it or not. A couple of starts ago, he fouled about 10 pitches off in a row and ended up with a walk.

I think you nailed it with the Jedi thing; he appears to be as old as Yoda, anyhow.

JulieDiCaro said:

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I also love Jamie Moyer, and have harbored a secret crush on him for many years. I also like the jedi analogy -- let's make that official.

Teebob2000 said:

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And speaking of old dudes still pitching, how about Hoffman imploding yet again??? How much longer are they put that poor guy out there? If you've watched him, it's like he's doing batting practice. He's got nothing left.

cadarnell said:

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it's sad to see players stick around just to pad their career numbers. It's even worse that teams let them do it when there's a lot of young players ready for the bigs that deserve to be there ...

JulieDiCaro said:

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but it's funny when those players play for the Brewers.

I'm really starting to hate the Brewers on a Cardinals-esque level.

Teebob2000 said:

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I'm starting to pity them actually. They're not potent enough to get my hatred up to a Cards-like hate.

JulieDiCaro said:

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also, i think that part of jamie's strategy is to throw the ball as slowly as possible, thus confusing the hell out of hitters. He can't throw more than 50 mph at this point.

Dmband said:

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FB-

WAMRUS was a fake stat I invented to explain Silva's sure to be successful outings after his first start. It stands for Wins After Mom Returned to United States.

Abe quickly pointed out that Luis Tiant had the all time lead in this catagory, which is very funny.

flyball said:

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i musta missed that, or i forgot, i'm kinda spacey today sorry

gravedigger said:

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I remember the discussion about Silva and his mommy issue, but I missed the stat's creation, too. That's hilarious.

Teebob2000 said:

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Not to pick nits, but I believe it's the first time she's been in the US, so technically couldn't have 'returned'. It could be instead "Wins After Mom Emigrated to US", WAMEUS. Or "Wins After Mom Got US Visa", WAMGUSV which is no sillier an acronym than most other stats categories.

JulieDiCaro said:

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My head hurts.

cadarnell said:

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I do hope it was good beer ... it's is American Craft Beer week you know :)

JulieDiCaro said:

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So Nats (credentialed!) blogger Kristen Hudak and I are trying to give up diet pop.

So far, we are struggling mightily. There might need to be a 12-step group for this.

AndCounting said:

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I'm telling you, nothing works like Diet 7-Up. It very well may be the nastiest stuff on earth. I had one in a pinch several years back and didn't drink another ounce of pop for the next year.

I switched to lemonade to make it easier, although I went with water when I had to. If you're a fan of iced tea, I'd recommend it. Whatever you have, it's good to just opt out of carbonated beverages altogether. Once you make it about a week, it's pretty easy.

gravedigger said:

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Can you guys please stop saying "pop"?

JulieDiCaro said:

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well, we're from the midwest so . . . no.

gravedigger said:

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you admit to being from the midwest? :(

JulieDiCaro said:

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a) i LIKE Diet 7up! see what I mean? I HAVE A PROBLEM!

b) I drink (and love) tons of iced tea, but it's way easier to dump out 8 oz of diet coke than it is to make sun tea every day. :(

c) i never really drank pop that much until after i had kids and was trying to stay awake working. i don't like coffee, so diet coke it was.

d) i'm trying to go down to one glass a day, then reduce from there. i tried going cold turkey a week ago and wound up with nothing but a terrible headache. at this point, i think i need a step-down program of some sort.

gravedigger said:

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Diet 7 Up is just fine... with Gin.

FrankS said:

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Or tequila.

Edelweiss said:

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A Starbucks raspberry mocha frappucino will give you all the caffeine you need, especially if you add a shot of espresso. It puts you in a good mood all day.

gravedigger said:

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It really isn't necessary. The chemicals in it aren't going to kill you any faster than the other chemicals you ingest on a constant basis (I don't mean "you," I mean we're breathing, eating, and drinking chemicals all the time). Also, if it is an issue of taste, mix in some vodka or bacardi and it's good to go.

Hope this helps.

Teebob2000 said:

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*hic!* Helped me!

berselius said:

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go for it! I don't think there's anything better than a tall glass of ice water...except maybe beer.

I stopped drinking soda when I went to college (I was cheap) but now I've developed a horrible tendency to start hiccuping out of control when drinking most carbonated beverages. It's annoying and painful.

My in-laws are HUGE Diet Coke addicts and my wife always picks it up again whenever she goes home. It still really weirds me out to see them drinking sodas with breakfast.

Dmband said:

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I had and still have a pretty hard core addiction to regular Coke.

Vitamin water is my standard replacement. XXX flavor or Revive depeding on the previous day/night's activities.

Its probably not any better for you or worse, I just have a feeling that years from now "soda" (better, GD?) is going to be the tobacco of our generation.

gravedigger said:

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I also really just drink water most of the time, but always have a diet coke with lunch/dinner/liquor. But you're probably right -- you can already see the uprising against soda, and sugary drinks in general. Probably not a bad thing, given that it is probably a contributor (along with over eating and lack of exercise) for all the 300 pound elementary school children running around out there.

gravedigger said:

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er, I guess they aren't doing a lot of "running around," but I think you know what I mean.

JulieDiCaro said:

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hahaha!

i think i justified it by only swigging diet pop. see, no calories! but still, regular coke/dew would probably be better for me. at least we know what's in high-fructose corn syrup. sucralose i'm not so sure.

gravedigger said:

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What's in high fructose corn syrup is calories, diabetes and cancer. We don't know what's in sucralose, we don't know, but it can't be any worse.

Edelweiss said:

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Mexican Coke is made with sugar. Coca Cola products sold in Germany Austria, and Italy are also made with sugar instead of corn syrup.

Edelweiss said:

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Europeans mix fruit juice with sparkling water, and it tastes great, and is much better than drinking sugary fruit juice, and less sugary than carbonated soft drinks. You can use as little fruit juice as you want. My favorite is black currant juice and club soda.

sloan peterson said:

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I feel for you Cubbiejulie! I had to give up soda cold turkey when I was told I had Type II Diabetes. I'm allergic to most artificial sweetners, and don't like coffee or tea. I have become a bottled-water addict, the prettier the bottle the better.There are about 100 types of Crystal Light, some with and some without sugar,(I drink the Stevia one) so you can run around with flavored water. I had Coke the first time in about a year and it tasted so weird.

JulieDiCaro said:

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i do love stevia--this is a good idea. flavored water.

i have to say, giving up pop, for me, is WAY harder than going vegan ever was.

Edelweiss said:

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You can also find flavored sparkling water that has no sweetener, real or artificial. It will satisfy a craving for pop.

Dmband said:

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hahahahaa, no they are not doing any "running" Gd...

thats hilarious

gravedigger said:

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I know, I crack myself up.

BTW, did you see that DMB is saying they won't tour next summer?

gravedigger said:

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Just had to log in for the 4th time today. This isn't getting old at all.

Dmband said:

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GD-

I did see that. Lots of speculation that this will be the last tour forever.

Whats cool is the final 2 shows will be at Wrigley the 17th and 18th of Sept. Thats one hell of a way to go out.

secdelahc said:

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I'm a caffeine junkie. But I mostly get my fix from highly caffeinated British tea. I used to drink a lot of soda, but I try not to anymore.

On a side note, I noticed I've stopped calling it "pop" sometime in the last year. Probably because the buk of my friends live outside the midwest and no longer say it...

Dmband said:

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So Jeff Baker is starting RF tonight? Did I hear that correctly?


WTF?

Edelweiss said:

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His ass is healing.

herlihy said:

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The CBOE image renders the moment flawlessly. Pat Lamorte is a national treasure. (And dang it, I miss Maya already.)

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