A League of Her Own

What Cubs Players Would Do If They Didn't Play Baseball

They're big, sweaty and muscular. They eat, sleep, and breathe baseball (we hope). It's hard to imagine them doing anything else. But. . .

If the Cubs weren't Cubs, what would they be doing?

See our guesses below, but feel free to suggest your own. We'll try to get them photoshopped for you.

A HUGE thank you to @plamorte for photoshopping these!

Recommended

[?]

Recent Posts

Subscribe

Leave a comment

32 Comments

MN Pat said:

user-pic

Brilliant. I really need to figure out a way to work "vapid but built" into a conversation soon. Fortunately tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day, so that should provide an opportunity or two. Speaking of which, couldn't Mike Fontenot have been either a leprechaun or a Christmas elf?

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I felt like making fun of his height was so obvious. Besides, he and I are the same height, so who am I to make fun?

Edelweiss said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

I have seen you both in person, and you tower over Fontenot. In that track coach picture, you put Fontenot's head on a too-tall body.

Teebob2000 said:

user-pic

That girl is only 4'8".

Edelweiss said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Since Fontenot's mother is Irish, he would be a perfect Leprechaun.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

you'e got me confused with someone else.

itsjenjen said:

user-pic

Too funny. Most convincing-Ted Lilly. And Samardjiza could play the next Tarzan.

jarowcliffe said:

user-pic

Geo would probably be a great stylist/manicurist(insert joke about his ridiculous eyebrows)

Doc said:

user-pic

I'm a little disappointed that Koyie Hill wasn't in this list. He would be a religious icon.

secdelahc said:

user-pic

I think Aramis would make a great Zorro.

Maim said:

user-pic

I think Aramis would make a good guy who works for a rug cleaning company.

...Because the guy who works for the rug cleaning company that we use at the brewery looks exactly like him, and HE does a good job.

Cubs Psychologist said:

user-pic

He would be a great appliance delivery man. Tell you how your appliance works, but so likeable that you could talk to him all day.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Because of the cock fighting, I think of Aramis as running a produce stand, like Marcello in Seinfeld. He wears a linen button-down shirt, black pants, and a straw fedora.

Cubs Psychologist said:

user-pic

Looking at the size of Marlon Byrd, would he not be a great tag team partner for Z? Just an idea.

DustyBaylor said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Hmmm...Koyie Hill could be a hand model? Wait...

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

He could play Jerry's girlfriend in the toe-thumbs episode.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Headlines coming up later this morning, kids.

DustyBaylor said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

BWAAHAAAAA-HAAA....ah...julie..that's good...I forgot that episode...

gravedigger said:

user-pic

I think we're missing a golden opportunity to portray Hendry here... as... something. I don't know what.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

a wino?

DustyBaylor said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Hendry could be the new "time to make the donuts...." guy.

Two Putt Stu said:

user-pic

Alphonso Soriano would make a great professional dodgeball player. Oh, wait. He kinda is that already.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Ha.

Perfect.

Eric From The Dugs said:

user-pic

Oh, this is good stuff.

I think Marmol's ears make him the adorable pick for the star of Disney's next feel good movie about the boy that chased his major league dreams. You could call it: The Boy Who Could Throw Only Balls.

I can see Carlos Silva in a Weight Watchers ad alongside Dan Marino. "Hi, I'm Carlos Silva, and I realized it was time to lose weight when my gut was sinking more effectively than my pitches."

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Hee hee hee.

ricos said:

user-pic

hahah too funny, well done Julie. Game show Lou is excellent

gravedigger said:

user-pic

Also my favorite.

abe frohman said:

user-pic

These are BRILLIANTLY photoshopped.
This is truly excellent work. Well done, you.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I think Ryan Dempster as Mork is my favorite.

plamorte said:

user-pic

mine too!

plamorte said:

user-pic

Game Show Lou is a close 2nd

Max Power said:

user-pic

Excellent work all around. I think the one of Ted Lilly is frightening accurate...

Leave a Comment?

Some HTML is permitted: a, strong, em

What your comment will look like:

said:

what will you say?

Most Active Pages Right Now

ChicagoNow.com on Facebook

A League of Her Own on Facebook

A League of Her Own - A Chicago Cubs Blog on Facebook