LOHO Annual Free Agent Frenzy Contest

cubbiejulie on 11.24.09 at 12:01 PM | 27 comments

I bet you're wondering why I'm kicking off our annual "Free Agent Frenzy" contest with a video of the Muppets singing "Bohemian Rhapsody."

Well, it's because a) it's way more interesting than anything going on in hot stove right now, and b) it's also pretty much the greatest thing ever put on the internet. It makes me happy in ways I can't even begin to describe. But I digress.

It's time for LOHO's Annual Free Agent Frenzy Contest!!!!

(pauses to wait for cheering to stop)

The Rules are simple. You get one point for every FA signing you correctly predict. We're only talking teams here, not years or money or any of the other details. For fun, this year we're going to do the Top Ten Free Agents (as identified by Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports) and the Bottom Ten Free Agents (as identified by you in LOHO's Scaaaaary Free Agent Halloweeny thing).

Here we go. In the comments, please predict where the following will sign:

1. Matt Holliday

2. John Lackey

3. Jason Bay

4. Aroldis Chapman

5. Chone Figgins

6. Randy Wolf (Randy Wolf is in the Top Ten?)

7. Rich Harden

8. Erik Bedard

9. Andy Pettite (puke)

10. Mark DeRosa (okay, so I jumped him a few spots he'll always be Top Ten in my heart.)

And the following:

1. Rick Ankiel

2. Marlon Byrd

3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man

4. Geoff Jenkins

5. Shawn Estes

6. Jason Marquis

7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge")

8. Jeff Francoeur

9. Jason Kendall

10. Omar Infante

I know what you're thinking: "But Julie, I have NO IDEA who is going to sign any of those players. I don't follow the hot stove closely enough. I'm afraid I'll look stupid!"

Don't be silly, my little cabbages, LOHO is all about looking stupid. In public. As often as possible. You only get points for those you get right, so you might as well go ahead and take a wild guess. And anyway, I typically get ZERO right, so even if you fall on your face, you'll be in AWESOME company.

Besides, you don't want to miss out on this sweet action, do you?

That's right! Our winner will receive a non-autographed copy of "Baseball for Dummies," but self-proclaimed baseball expert Joe Morgan! Chapters include "Games I Didn't Play In (But Would Have Liked To!)," "Why Ryne Sandbert Threatens My Manhood (And You Can Too!)," "How To Bring Down a National Broadcast," and "Garish Suits I've Worn."<p>

Don't miss out!

Published in Contests and tagged Chicago Cubs, Contest, Free Agent

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27 Comments

Doc Blume said:

1. Matt Holliday: Cardinals

2. John Lackey: Yankees

3. Jason Bay: Phillies

4. Aroldis Chapman: Rays

5. Chone Figgins: Angels

6. Randy Wolf (Randy Wolf is in the Top Ten?): Dodgers

7. Rich Harden: Houston

8. Erik Bedard: Royals

9. Andy Pettite (puke): Yankees

10. Mark DeRosa (okay, so I jumped him a few spots he'll always be Top Ten in my heart.) : Red Sox

And the following:

1. Rick Ankiel: Texas

2. Marlon Byrd: Cubs

3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man : Orioles

4. Geoff Jenkins: Brewers

5. Shawn Estes: Tijuana (he's done)

6. Jason Marquis: Atlanta

7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge"): He's a free agent??? Fine, Seattle

8. Jeff Francoeur: Texas

9. Jason Kendall: Brewers

10. Omar Infante: Blue Jays

Posted on November 24, 2009 12:53 PM

cubbiejulie said:

D Lee finishes 9th in NL MVP voting.

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:10 PM

ccd said:

i thought for sure he'd be 8th.

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:15 PM

cubbiejulie said:

LOL

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:26 PM

Doc Blume said:

yep...another disappointment for the Cubs this season.

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:40 PM

Dmband said:

This covers all:

Yankees is my answer to all of them. Figure I'll get at LEAST 5 pts...

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:12 PM

Doc Blume said:

maybe the contest should have been which 5 FA's do the Yankees sign.

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:29 PM

flyball said:

I was contemplating Yankees for the top 10, Cubs for the Scary 10

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:33 PM

Doc Blume said:

It was nice to see Matt Murton in that Muppets video. I thought he had disappeared forever.

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:35 PM

Doc Blume said:

Actually, both Matt Murton and Kevin Gregg were in there...

A link in case you didn't spot them.

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:39 PM

MN Pat said:

Wow. This is the third time I've seen someone linking to this clip today. Did someone send out a memo to all the blog-owners that today is "Muppet Bohemian Rhapsody" Day? Dang. I knew I should have started my own blog. I feel so left out!

Posted on November 24, 2009 5:33 PM

berselius said:

1. Matt Holliday - Red Sox

2. John Lackey - Mets

3. Jason Bay - Orange County Angels of Disneyland

4. Aroldis Chapman - Red Sox

5. Chone Figgins - Phillies

6. Randy Wolf - Dodgers

7. Rich Harden - Mariners

8. Erik Bedard - Orioles

9. Andy Pettite - Yankees

10. Mark DeRosa - Cardinals

1. Rick Ankiel - Padres

2. Marlon Byrd - Cubs

3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man - who?

4. Geoff Jenkins - Retirement

5. Shawn Estes - Retirement

6. Jason Marquis - Mets (dying laughing)

7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge") - Still under contract with the Angels

8. Jeff Francoeur - Mets (dear God, ANYONE but the Cubs)

9. Jason Kendall - Royals

10. Omar Infante - Tigers

Posted on November 24, 2009 1:41 PM

AndCounting said:

1. Matt Holliday: Mets
2. John Lackey: Astros
3. Jason Bay: Red Sox
4. Aroldis Chapman: Mets
5. Chone Figgins: Phillies
6. Randy Wolf: Diamondbacks
7. Rich Harden: Cubs
8. Erik Bedard: Rangers
9. Andy Pettite: Yankees
10. Mark DeRosa: Mariners/Julie's basement
And the following:

1. Rick Ankiel: Reds
2. Marlon Byrd: Rangers
3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man: (Angel Villalona) Connecticut Defenders (AA Norwich)
4. Geoff Jenkins: Shady Acres Assisted Living Villa
5. Shawn Estes: Wendy's
6. Jason Marquis: Giants
7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge"): Not a FA, but he'll get dealt to Detroit
8. Jeff Francoeur: Mets
9. Jason Kendall: Brewers
10. Omar Infante: Braves

Posted on November 24, 2009 2:13 PM

Dmband said:

That'd be a huge pickup for the Wendy's organization...LOL

Posted on November 24, 2009 3:28 PM

summerguy said:

I figure I'll climb out of my work-filled and booze-less depression to take a stab at this.

1. Matt Holliday - Cardinals

2. John Lackey - Angels

3. Jason Bay - Red Sox

4. Aroldis Chapman - Yankees

5. Chone Figgins - Angels

6. Randy Wolf (Randy Wolf is in the Top Ten?) - Mets

7. Rich Harden - Red Sox

8. Erik Bedard - Cubs

9. Andy Pettite (puke)- Yankees

10. Mark DeRosa (okay, so I jumped him a few spots he'll always be Top Ten in my heart.) - Cardinals... just to spite the Cubs

And the following:

1. Rick Ankiel - Cardinals (who else would be stupid enough)

2. Marlon Byrd - Cubs

3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man - Well the Giants I guess since they are now stuck with him

4. Geoff Jenkins - Isn't he already retired? If not, RETIRE

5. Shawn Estes - Retarded, I mean retire.

6. Jason Marquis - Rockies

7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge") - unsigned

8. Jeff Francoeur - Mets

9. Jason Kendall - Brewers... otherwise, unsigned

10. Omar Infante - Braves

Posted on November 24, 2009 3:42 PM

carlheartscubs said:

Janice rocks.

1. Matt Holliday - Red Sox

2. John Lackey - Angels

3. Jason Bay - Mets

4. Aroldis Chapman - Will end up in MLS with Real Salt Lake

5. Chone Figgins - Houston

6. Randy Wolf - St. Louis

7. Rich Harden - CK underwear ads

8. Erik Bedard - Atlanta

9. Andy Pettite - Yankees

10. Mark DeRosa - Phillies

And the following:

1. Rick Ankiel - Cubs

2. Marlon Byrd - Anaheim

3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man - Turkish prison

4. Geoff Jenkins - wheelchair baseball league

5. Shawn Estes - National Beep Baseball Association

6. Jason Marquis - Mets

7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge") - Sideline reporter for the Phillies

8. Jeff Francoeur - Cleveland

9. Jason Kendall - Detroit

10. Omar Infante - Kansas City

Posted on November 24, 2009 3:47 PM

gravedigger said:

1. Matt Holliday - Brewers
2. John Lackey - Royals
3. Jason Bay - Pirates
4. Aroldis Chapman - Nationals
5. Chone Figgins - Blue Jays
6. Randy Wolf (Randy Wolf is in the Top Ten?) - Reds
7. Rich Harden - Cubs
8. Erik Bedard - Orioles
9. Andy Pettite (puke) - Indians
10. Mark DeRosa (okay, so I jumped him a few spots he'll always be Top Ten in my heart.) - Graveyard

1. Rick Ankiel - Cardinals
2. Marlon Byrd - Cubs
3. That kid from the Giants who killed a man - I don't know who this is
4. Geoff Jenkins - Retirement
5. Shawn Estes - Cubs
6. Jason Marquis - Cubs
7. Gary Matthews Jr. (aka "Baby Sarge") - Cubs
8. Jeff Francoeur - AAA
9. Jason Kendall - Retirement
10. Omar Infante - I don't know who this is

Posted on November 24, 2009 4:39 PM

carlheartscubs said:

Omar Infante was one of the guys in the Jacque Jones to Detroit deal, who later that winter was dealt to the Braves, in what I think in the Jose Ascanio deal, who was in turn traded this last year in the Grabow/Gorzelanny deal.

Posted on November 24, 2009 4:43 PM

AndCounting said:

I laughed pretty heartily throughout both lists. Thank you.

Posted on November 24, 2009 4:43 PM

AndCounting said:

That was (in my head) in response to GD. Not that my laughs are reserved for him alone, but using the transitive property of humor to deduce that not only is Omar Infante forgettable, he may have also killed a man and that man just might be Mark DeRosa . . . well, it made me laugh. Now that I'm typing it out I feel bad for laughing so hard, but it was funny.

Posted on November 24, 2009 4:49 PM

Doc Blume said:

let me just say...

The new advertisement for Hooters is awesome!

Posted on November 24, 2009 5:11 PM

cubbiejulie said:

Mark DeRosa to my basement? Sweet. I wonder how much I'd have to pony up to get him. . .

Posted on November 24, 2009 5:20 PM

millertime said: