A League of Her Own

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A POST SEASON TEAM!!!

(and no, it's not Houston)

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Who will it be? Captain of the football team? Artsy drama club guy? The dreamy quiet guy who just wants to be left alone with his music?

 

LOHO's 2009 Postseason Mystery Date is. . . .

Twins vs. Tigers

 
THE MINNESOTA TWINS!!!!!!
 

Ooooo, look how high they can jump! They're better than the Cubs already.

Early this morning, I was informed by our generous benefactor (who was not ME, or Max, or a plant), that LOHO will be cheering for the Twinks this postseason. Said benefactor had chosen to remain anonymous, but hey--thanks for saving us from the possibility of having to cheer for Colby Rasmus and The Delicate Genius.

Our first game is coming up at 4:00 CT today. Until then, everybody grab a starter and tell us a little about them in the comments. That way, we'll know who we're cheering for.

Let's Go Twinks!

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106 Comments

Doc said:

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Well...I guess we will only have a routing interest in the playoffs for a week or so.

See, my pessimism is already switched to our new team.

thisyearcub said:

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Spot on, Doc.

Also, there are two posts of this ... which one should we be commenting on?

gravedigger said:

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Aw WTF?

gravedigger said:

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I worked really hard on the comments that disappeared.

gravedigger said:

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I worked really hard on the comments that disappeared.

JulieDiCaro said:

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I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to recreate your comments over here.

I remember yelling at Matt and ripping on Abe. Did I say anything else?

thisyearcub said:

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What in the LeeLee Sobieski is going on? David Copperfield, show yourself!

JulieDiCaro said:

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I am fine with this for several reasons, not the least of which is because they are my childhood team.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Meant to say "Max's childhood team"

JulieDiCaro said:

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Sorry! I delteted the wrong post because I was panicked because you guys were making fun of me. Then everything got screwed up and ChicagoNow tech had to get involved.

So basically, this is all your fault.

gravedigger said:

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Boo you!

Doc said:

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I'm not sure why we put up with this abuse from you.

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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Let's go team!

Ed Nickow said:

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It's sure good to see
That Carl's attitude won't change
During the playoffs!

flyball said:

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oooh, carl has his own haiku, rock on

The Twins In Haiku said:

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Ed just requested
That I comment for him here
Throughout the playoffs

(he trusts me, we're very close)

Umbra said:

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I'd like to take this moment of chaos to make more math jokes.

Boof Bonser is like Gaussian Least Squares: everyone thinks he is robust, but upon closer inspection that turns out to not be the case.

JulieDiCaro said:

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also, he legally changed his name to "Boof."

I think that says it all.

Umbra said:

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That, plus 'Wisconsin'.

And I'm sure Minnesota has had its scandals and locker room dramas, but I can't find any in my searches. Maybe the Twins are a bit like the factorial function: discrete?

Umbra said:

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After hearing Taylor Swift sing the National Anthem last year, I think we should rename the World Series to the Taylor Series.

secdelahc said:

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Go Twins! Aren't we glad those awful Cubs chose Mark Prior in the draft? We got Joe Mauer!!!! Go Twins!

Doc said:

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I think we should trade Joe Mauer....especially now while he has a lot of value on the the trade market.

secdelahc said:

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Or before we can't afford him, since we're a small market team and can't give out a lot of big contracts!

baturkey said:

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Remember when we all went to Wrigley and cheered for the Twins? Good times.

millertime said:

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Yeah, that day was awesome. Best LOHO day ever. Getting to see the Twins win. I love it when I go to a game and see my team win.

Doc said:

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Someone needs to post a roster of the twins players...

I know of Joe Nathan and Joe Mauer...and that's about it...

Isn't funny the LOHO day this year just happened to be when the Cubs were playing the Twins?

MN Pat said:

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This from the Star-Tribune. It's the official playoff roster.

Backing up Joe Mauer behind the plate are Jose Morales and Mike Redmond.

The pitchers are: Scott Baker, Nick Blackburn, Jesse Crain, Brian Duensing, Matt Guerrier, Bobby Keppel, Francisco Liriano, Ron Mahay, Jose Mijares, Joe Nathan, Carl Pavano and Jon Rauch.

Infielders: Orlando Cabrera, Alexi Casilla, Michael Cuddyer, Brendan Harris, Nick Punto and Matt Tolbert.

Outfielders: Carlos Gomez, Jason Kubel, Denard Span and Delmon Young.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Nick Blackbunrn is super-cute. Now you know one more.

gravedigger said:

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Not really.

gravedigger said:

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Not really.

thisyearcub said:

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I made a nice post about Denard Span, but it got deleted.

Also, Twins are 3-21 at New York since 2002. And they played 12 innings last night. And they used eight pitchers. Rookie Brian Duensing goes against CC Sabathia today at 6:07 p.m. ET

thisyearcub said:

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Also, Chip "I don't have a fucking clue what's going on" Caray and Ron Darling are your announcers.

Max Power said:

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As GOB would say, COME ON!

The good thing is, there is a reasonable likelihood that Sabathia ate his body weight in hot dogs last night, so that could help the Twins.

millertime said:

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I've made a huge mistake.

flyball said:

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yeah, but who are the radio announcers?

JulieDiCaro said:

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Puke.

The Twins In Haiku said:

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Three-and-twenty-one?
I won't let that bother me
We're due for a win!

Doc said:

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Are we losing yet?

flyball said:

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Go Twins!

flyball said:

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hey Doc, you got your wish, we get a new stadium next season

Doc said:

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YES!!!!

I can't wait to order my season tickets!

gravedigger said:

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I wanted to watch the game but the TV they gave me at work didn't come with a cable line. Apparently I have to wait for that. I love government.

Shari Weiss said:

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Disappointing as I wholeheartedly expect the Twins to be knocked out in the first round (I'm a Yankees fan, born and raised) and it would've been fun to have this LOHO take-over last longer than that.

gravedigger said:

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You have no idea how much I hope the Yankees lose in the first round.

Unfortunately, it will probably be the Twins, because this teams is the worst team ever.

thisyearcub said:

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Maybe we can do this again in the championship series and you can bid.

flyball said:

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we will not need to because the Twins are going to the World Series

flyball said:

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oh, does this mean the Pessimist Pub gets relocated to MN? I always wanted to have a bar in an ice shanty on the middle of a lake

MN Pat said:

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It's been chilly here the past two weeks, but it's not yet time for ice shanties. That's next week.

flyball said:

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well, thats kinda boring, where does the Pub go in the meantime?

Umbra said:

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Camp Snoopy?

MN Pat said:

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Sorry, that's gone. It's now some hellacious Nickelodeon-themed park. You'll want to avoid that.

Umbra said:

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I thought it was a little fishy when they replaced Lego Land with the Wonderful World of General Mills Cereals and Other Products.

millertime said:

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To sum up my deleted posts:

Delmon Young is a jackass and should be released from the team immeadiatley. His teammates all hate him, he hates the fans, he plays horrible defense, and is incredibly overrated. One time I saw him get a big hit, and never once did he acknowledge the fans. Trading for Young is one of the worst moves I have ever seen. Why any GM would keep this guy on their team is beyound me. Delmon Young needs to just shut the hell up, and stay at home for the playoffs. All he does is blame others for his problems. The twins need to unload this guy ASAP.

flyball said:

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nooooo, I'm having Bradley flashbacks

millertime said:

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I found this quote from Delmon Young, given to me by a source that shall remain nameless, because I never reveal my sources.

"I...hate...fans...baseball". There you go. Proof that Delmon Young hates baseball. What a jerk.

Start Carlos Gomez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MN Pat said:

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My deleted posts involved the loveliness of the new stadium and Joe Mauer's sideburns, and contradicting the stereotype that we don't have diversity in Minnesota. We have brunettes!

Umbra said:

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People refer to Joe Mauer as 'Baby Jesus' and 'The Big Pink' for reasons unknown. Instead of the ALDS, I propose we call it the Joe Mauer Series in One Variable: Heart.

Joe Mauer: MVP of the JMSIOVH.

flyball said:

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I'm excited about the new stadium

flyball said:

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do you know if that stone they use is local? I see both the big exterior pieces, but they also use it inside, love it

JulieDiCaro said:

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Not in the town Max is from. Except for Max.

millertime said:

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Let's go Minnesota! I feel great calling Minnesota home of Paul Bunyan, even though Minnesota has lost the axe 6 times in a row to Wisconsin. Now, some would say that losing the axe six times in a row to Wisconsin would give all Paul Bunyan bragging rights to Wisconsin, which has won the axe 6 times in a row. But I think that more important than winning the axe 6 times in a row, which Minnesota hasn't done and Wisconsin has, is the fact the Minnesota has a giant Paul Bunyan statue in Brainerd. That is certainly better than winning the Axe 6 times in a row. Which Minnesota hasn't done.

Go team!!!!

Umbra said:

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While I agree with you that Wisconsin has continually beaten the Gophers six consecutive years in a row back to back to back to back to back to back, I think the statue in Brainerd hardly compares to the Paul Bunyan statue and Museum in Eau Claire.

millertime said:

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I think the one thing we can agree on is Wisconsin beating MN 6 times in a row. The home of Paul Bunyan is a feisty debate, unlike the debate about which football team hasn't lost the axe 6 times in a row. You're right, the fact that the "traveling" trophy hasn't traveled to a different location in 6 years is no way to decide the home of American folk heroes.

Umbra said:

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Perhaps the Badgers could play Minnesota for John Henry's Hammer.

Umbra said:

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Or Joe Mauer's Sideburns, as Joe Mauer already qualifies as an American folk hero.

Minnesota has 10,000 Lakes because Joe Mauer's home runs make divets whenever he hits them out of the Metrodome.

millertime said:

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Joe Mauer's Sideburns it is.

Little Bear said:

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I agree

flyball said:

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is that like the Oaken Bucket?

the Big Ten(11) has strange traditions

millertime said:

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Don't worry guys. Baseball isn't about payroll. Or signing good players. Or hitting the ball well. Or pitching well. It's not about scoring runs, or limiting your oppentents runs. Baseball is about winning. And you win by doing the little things, fundamentals, playing the game the right way, and by having the heart and gumption never to give up.

Doc said:

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I think we should trade for Milton Bradley.

millertime said:

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Yes. Lets trade Joe Mauer. And Spahn. And some draft picks. And pick up all of Bradley's salary.

flyball said:

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maybe we could get Bradley for Young, the Cubs would take him, right?

millertime said:

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Lets just offer one of our crappy middle infielders that we never play because he sucks. They'll jump at that for sure.

AndCounting said:

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I'm so glad to be rooting for the team most likely to be swept. Makes it feel all the more genuine.

Doc said:

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Every team this site has ever rooted for in the playoffs since the time it was created has been swept out of the playoffs.

Little Bear said:

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How else could a "former" Cubs fan enjoy themselves if not to root for a team that is going to loose?

millertime said:

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Lets tell some jokes us Minnesota people are familiar with.

Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?", And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" and Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those little ice cubes in first." And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down."

millertime said:

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"Hello? Funeral home?"
"Yes?"
"It's Ole. My wife Lena died."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. We'll send someone right away to pick up the body. Where do you live?"
"At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
"Can you spell that for me?"
"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"

gravedigger said:

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hee i'm enjoying this

millertime said:

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So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For Sale." But you don't own a boat, Ole. All you got is your old John Deere tractor and your combine.

"Yup, and they're boat for sale."

Umbra said:

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Sven an Ole live next door to one anudder, an one day, Sven sees Ole up on his roof, replacin da shingles. He takes a nail, looks at it, pounds it in. Takes a nail, looks at it, throws it over his shoulder. Takes a nail, looks at it, pounds it in. Takes another, looks at it, throws it over his shoulder again.

Sven yells, "Ole! Why are ya wastin half da nails?"

Ole replies, "Cuz half dese nails got the head on the wrong side."

Sven shouts back, "Ole you idiot, dose nails are fer da udder side ah da house!"

millertime said:

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So, one night Ole was sitting reading the paper when he looked out the window and saw that his barn was on fire. So Ole quick jumped up and called the fire department and said, "Hurry, come quick, my barn's burnin' down!" The fire chief replied, "Ole, slow down. Now how do we get there?"
And Ole said, "Well don't you have that little red truck anymore?"

Doc said:

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so...when does the site get redecorated?

gravedigger said:

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Postseason predictions, anyone?

millertime said:

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Yankees win. Theeeeeeeeeeeee Yankees win.

Doc said:

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traitor

Umbra said:

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You liar, you Judas.

millertime said:

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You wanted me to do it!
What if I just stayed here
And ruined your ambition?
Christ you deserve it!

gravedigger said:

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Whenever you two start in on it, I never have any idea what is going on.

millertime said:

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Everytime I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned

Little Bear said:

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That's 'cause they can read each others minds and they don't have to say half of the conversation. You should see them together in person

gravedigger said:

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Oh, and your photo reminds me -- my boyfriend threw away my Buddy Christ figurine :(

Doc said:

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Twins over Yankees in 3 games
Angels over Sox in 3 games
Rockies over Phillies in 3 games
Cards over Dodgers in 3 games

LCSs
Twins over Angels in 4 games
Rockies over Cards in 4 games

WS
Twins over Rockies in 4 games

gravedigger said:

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Rockies-Dodgers: Rockies
Cardinals-Phillies: Cardinals
Twins-Yankees: Twins
Angels-Red Sox: Red Sox

Rockies-Cardinals: Rockies
Twins-Red Sox: Twins

Twins-Rockies: Twins

Doc said:

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um...you just copied me...except for that Red Sox thing.

That's not very nice.

gravedigger said:

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Wow, yeah, our picks are pretty similar huh

Doc said:

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So...The Sporting News named Pittsburgh as the Best Sports City which leads me to ask WTF??!?!?!

Seriously...have they even bothered visiting Mini-apple-sauce?

I bet they didn't even take into consideration leagues like Major League Curling, The National Ice Fishing League and the United States Euchre Association. What about the American Ski Jumping Conference or the Profession Mall Running Tour. Minneapolis dominates in all of those sports....but noooooo! They have to look at only football, baseball, hockey and basketball. You know, The Twins have been a hell of a lot better than the Pirates have for quite a long time! And, anyone looked at the Vikings record this year? And they don't even have a basketball team!

What a crock of shit. Stupid sporting news. Pittsburgh? Ahead of Minneapolis? What the hell...Chicago??? #4??? Chicago couldn't even land the Olympics. They even put Detroit, that sad excuse for a city, ahead of us.

Screw you, Sporting News.

gravedigger said:

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Well, we've got ourselves a pitcher's duel in Philly.

gravedigger said:

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As soon as I say that, the Phillies score a run.

Doc said:

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This is fun...watching all these other team competing for the oportunity to get swept by the Twins. HEHEHE.

abe frohman said:

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Hey, does anyone know how much longer the Royals have exclusive rights to Greinke? I doubt they'd trade him to us (being a divisional rival and all), but when he does hit the free-agent market, it would be nice to see someone other than the Red Sox or New York teams have a shot.

Doc said:

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he's going to suck next year. Mark my words.

tomas21 said:

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Did anyone see the one about Milton Bradley going to the DRays for Burrell? It's in the Sun Times.

I don't get it. Burrell is like a friendly version of Milton Bradley that can't hit or play defense. At all. Is that what we need?

Also, how to I respond to comments?

tomas21 said:

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I think my profile picture is a dunce cap. Is Julie responsible for this?

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