A League of Her Own

Chicago Cubs Tuesday Headlines

ArodJeter.jpg

 

It's gotta suck to be Jeter. Not only are people forever writing about how overrated you are, but you're subject to constant gropings and sexually harassed by a narcissistic, roid-raided, emotional headcase who likes she-male strippers. Actually, I was surprised when none of the strippers ARod frequented resembled Jeter in any way.

And I do mean CONSTANT gropings.

ARodJeter2.jpg

Bruce Miles manages to distill all the day's Cubs news into three measley paragraphs:

Don't know what you'll remember most about the So Taguchi era with the Cubs, but it's over. The Cubs today confirmed Internet chatter that they have released the veteran outfielder, who came up from the minor leagues in September to fill in because of injury- and suspension-related shortages. The Cubs' 40-man roster now stands at 39.

As far as hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo goes, don't be surprised if something gets done this week. I expect the Cubs to name Jaramillo their hitting coach and to give him the mulityear contract the Texas Rangers would not. As I blogged last week, the Cubs and Jaramillo have spoken (with the Rangers' permission because his contract does not expire until Oct. 31), and things are moving along smoothing, I'm told.

It looks like one name is off the books as far as a trade for suspended outfielder Milton Bradley goes. Colorado Rockies GM Dan O'Dowd tells Hall of Famer writer Tracy Ringolsby that he's not moving outfielder Brad Hawpe.

Hey, have you given up on the 2009 Cubs? Well, you could learn something from StubHub--they still believe!

The company sent an e-mail Monday offering tickets for Cubs and Sox playoff games.

"Be there alongside your Chicago Cubs as they chase baseball immortality," the e-mail to Cubs fans said. "Go to StubHub, where you'll find a fantastic selection of tickets to every playoff game -- so you experience the championship chase live and in person."

StubHub told the Associated Press that similar e-mails were sent to fans promoting several teams not in the postseason, including the Sox and Mets.

"This was due to an e-mail glitch," spokeswoman Joellen Ferrer said in a statement. "Follow-up e-mails will be sent to every person that received the e-mail, notifying them of the error on our part."

I really hestitate to post this next bit. A) Because it comes from Crazy Uncle Phil so the possibility his "source" on this is one of the voices in his head is high,  and B) because I don't like to get you guys all excited right before your nap.

But what the heck, here you go:

When Albert Pujols went a career-worst 89 at-bats without a home run to end an MVP performance in 2009, it was shocking. But it also may have been more. It may have been the beginning of the end for him in St. Louis.

The time may be coming, faster than Cardinals fans could dream, when general manager John Mozeliak may have to do the unthinkable -- solicit trade offers, most likely from the Red Sox, Yankees or Mets.

Pujols, baseball's best player in the last decade, left Busch Stadium without talking to reporters last weekend. But in the little bit of communication he has had since then, he has raised doubts about his desire to spend his career with the Cardinals.

In an interview with a Dominican radio station, Pujols said the Cardinals had approached him about a possible contract extension at some point during 2009. He and his agents at the Beverly Hills Sports Council told Mozeliak they are in no hurry.

"I'm not desperate to sign a contract extension." Pujols told the radio station. "I still have one year remaining and a club option for 2011. I leave the rest in God's hands."

That's all I've got this morning, as this is a faily accurate representation of me right now:

 

 

Feel free to add your own headlines as you find them.

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30 Comments

gravedigger said:

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I wouldn't mind if A-Rod groped me.

JulieDiCaro said:

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I would. He's skanky.

gravedigger said:

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Don't care.

AndCounting said:

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Ah, those images remind me of Dana Carvey's George Michael impersonation. LOOK AT MY BUTT! TOUCH IT! FEEL IT'S POWER! Hee hee.

Umbra said:

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Albert Pujols isn't going anywhere, but it is entertaining to watch Cardinals fans squirm.

flyball said:

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whats more fun, watching Cards fans squirm, or watching Red Sox and Mets fans get over excited at the prospect of getting him and then completely disappointed?

Doc said:

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I hope the Cardinals sign him to a 10 year, $300 million contract, and then he gets suspended for using PEDs and he turns into a .250/20/60 guy.

I guess that's a lot to hope for.

flyball said:

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I admire you aiming high though

gravedigger said:

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Jesus Chris I hate Phil Rodgers.

Reading into things much? All Pujols is saying is that he has a ton of time left on the contract so there's no hurry. Phil, how about you just report what's said, and let your readers determine what it means.

millertime said:

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It seems to be a typical thing for journalists to do. Especially when they don't have anything else to write about.

Come up with a rumor from an "unamed source" (like Fuzzy Dunlop), admit from the first that it probably isn't true, but then proceed to write an entire article about if it was true. If it's crazy enough, people will start talking about it, and then all of a sudden you get a story about how President Obama wants to kill your Grandma, bring her back to life using your tax payer dollars, and then kill her again. And people blindly believe it, because they heard it somewhere. I had a woman tell me that CC Sabathia wanted to sign with the Brewers, but the league forced him to sign with the Yankees against his will. Why wouldn't a big time free agent want to play in front of that great Brewers crowd 80 times a year?

We've already seen ESPN do this with one of Cutler's quotes. Cutler apparently "called out" Devin Hester for not being a good enough reciever. False. All Cutler said was that Hester wasn't the type of reciever that "goes up and gets it", meaning Hester isn't a guy like Brandon Marshall who catches any ball thrown within 25 feet of him. Superfreak.

On Boers and Bernstein the other day, they talked about this article ( http://www.suntimes.com/sports/hayes/1810643,CST-SPT-neil07.article ) and were pretty pissed. It's an article based solely on what Jay Cutler might be thinking. Not one shred of evidence to back up this story.

I get it that it's hard for reporters to write an entertaining story when nothing interesting is going on, and Bruce Miles' interview the other day was very insightful to the kinds of things reporters have to deal with, but what sucks is that these players are suddenly given a persona of being something they're not, or forced to answer questions about an issue that doesn't even exist.

flyball said:

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Fuzzy Dunlop did get some decent intel though

gravedigger said:

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An article on what he "might be thinking"???

This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. FUCK YOU media.

AndCounting said:

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I think you nailed it. This is where those anti-Sullivan questions in the Miles interview were misdirected. The questions asked of him were not the problem. The stories that had nothing to do with anything he actually said and comprised instead entirely of speculation, embellishment, contrived role-playing gone wrong, and garden-gnome angst were the problem. That and Milton intentionally pissing off the people who write about him.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Leave a comment...

Doc said:

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Ha!

The Brewers just hired a new pitching coach. They spent so much time dealing with pitching coaches...maybe they should spend a little more time trying to find some pitchers with a little more talent instead.

millertime said:

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They spent $8 Million on Trevor Hoffman.

They spent $8 Million on Trevor Hoffman.

In general, their priorities seem a little off to me.

Shari Weiss said:

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Those pictures are hilar. My room, circa 1998, used to be a shrine to Derek Jeter. Never groped him or the pictures that lined my wall.

JulieDiCaro said:

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I have a feeling that ARod's room, circa 2009, is also a shrine to Jeter.

gravedigger said:

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Not that there's anything wrong with that.

millertime said:

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Is Baileys Irish Cream worth the price? I always come so close to getting some at the store, but then I get scared and don't buy it because it seems expensive. Beer is much cheaper.

gravedigger said:

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Its good. Get the small airplane size bottles and decide for yourself.

Liquor>beer.

baturkey said:

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You also need Jameson and Guinness.

millertime said:

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Ha. Then I can start rigging elections, beat my wife, and kill bad guys by ripping toilets out of the wall and jumping off of a four story building. All while listening to Flogging Molly.

No but seriously Ireland does have an alcohol problem. Not the funny "ha ha we drink all the time" kind of problem, more like "we all have liver disease". Cost the country €2.65B in 2001.

Umbra said:

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Screw you, Guinness is delicious.

flyball said:

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NY Times and an article on how the daily sports reporting could be done by a computer specifically the game recap, check out the example from one of the Angels/ Red Sox games, and it was created in the Cubs backyard up at Northwestern

with a nod to Gaper's Block for the link

baturkey said:

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That sample column was pretty good.

Doc said:

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Someone please give me an explanation that has nothing to do with TV as to why the NLCS isn't playing game 5 today.

flyball said:

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because the Philly fans need time to recover after every Lidge appearance

Doc said:

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I really hate when baseball just assumes the Phillies are going to be in the NLCS and give an extra day off for their stupid fans. I suppose it also gives the Phillies time to prosecute all the fans who were arrested at the first too games.

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