A League of Her Own

Chicago Cubs Headlines for Friday: Scaaaaary Halloween Edition

In honor of my mostest absolutest favoritest holiday of the year, today's headlines will center around things that scare me. And don't miss this afternoon's diary: Top Ten Scaaaaaariest Free Agents!

Cubs-Ricketts

Today's the day the Ricketts family meets with the media and holds pressers and talks about how great everything is going to be under their regime. . . i mean "leadership."

The first thing that scares me about the Ricketts family is Tom's hair. I mean, I don't even let Aidan have that hair, and he's 8. Also, I think the tie in this photo evidences some pretty poor judgment. Let's just hope that doesn't carryover to the Winter Meetings. Scaaaaaaaary.

Are you ready for our next totally terrifying headline? If you have a heart condition, you might want to wait outside. Ready? Then step inside my pretties, and see . . . . .  the horror that IS ESPN programming!

"Is Steve Bartman really the only true Cubs fan?

That's a question posed in a promo for ESPN's new documentary series, "30 for 30," which features 30 directors' takes on subjects pertaining to sports.

The promo highlights documentaries on Muhammed Ali, Wayne Gretzky, Marion Jones and Bartman, and shows a replay of the infamous foul ball down the left field line in the eighth inning of Game 6 of the 2003 NLCS, along with the narrator's comment: "What if I told you he was the only true Cubs fan?"

The documentary by Alex Gibney is still in the beginning stages, and is scheduled to run until next fall. Bartman reportedly does not plan on cooperating, and has not agreed to any interview requests since the incident. He offered an aoplogy in a written statement afterwards.

A press release issued by ESPN last July said the film would answer the question: "Can Bartman ever forgive Chicago?" Cubs players who were on the field that fateful night said last summer they don't believe Bartman should be placed under the media spotlight again.

But ESPN is going to do it anyway!!! Mwah-mwah-mwah-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaahhhhh!

Now. . . if you've had time to sufficiently recover from our last headline, step right this way. Women and childen may need to sit this one out: John McCain is trying to keep the Cubs in Mesa! EEEEEIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

"The Arizona Republic reports: Mesa, Ariz., city officials aren't going to let the Cubs move their spring training headquarters to Naples, Fla., without a fight.

Mesa will host team executives and members of the Ricketts family, the team's new owner, to a private reception next week where Sen. John McCain is expected to make a pitch via a video hookup."

I know. . . I apologize that for that one. That's not really even John McCain, that's my Uncle Carlo in a suit with some fake liver spots painted on his head. Let's forget about that one. But I know you will be terrified by what's behind our next curtain. If you thought last off-season was scary, how do you feel about. . . .  LOSING RICH HARDEN!!!!!!!!

The Cubs aren't likely to try and re-sign Harden themselves, thus leaving the door open for suitors who are willing to take the risk --- and, probably more importantly, also have the financial resources to absorb the loss should Harden not pan out.  The Red Sox fit this description to a tee, and unlike last winter's similar buy-low signings of Brad Penny or John Smoltz, Harden has experience pitching in the American League.

Uh. . . heh. Heh. Sorry about that. I didn't know Brad Penny was going to be back there. Or that he would be in various states of undress.

Look, I'll be honest, the rest of these headlines aren't really worth seeing. Give me a chance to work on them and come back later, okay?

Later, when we unveil LOHO's list of Top Ten Scaaaaaaariest Free Agents! And other curiosities that will make your stomach churn and your heart leap out of your chest, such as the Bears' Offensive Line! Ozzie Guillen's FOX commentary! And the 2009 MLB umpiring crews. AAH-AH-AH-AH-AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Please feel free to tip on your way out. 

Recommended

[?]

Recent Posts

Subscribe

Leave a comment

51 Comments

Doc said:

user-pic

While I know the Cubs will not leave Mesa, having John McCain trying to get the Cubs to stay should be reason enough for them to bolt for Florida.

Honestly, I'd like to see the Cubs leave Mesa but stay in Arizona. Mesa is a dump.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

hee hee hee!

@DRUNKHULK: OPEN DOOR! GIVE DRUNK HULK CANDY! DRUNK HULK KNOW YOU HOME!

millertime said:

user-pic

I ain't afraid of no ghosts. Or FA's.

Umbra said:

user-pic

In my first official moves as owner, I would like to make a splash by getting rid of Milton Bradley and not signing Rich Harden. This is the beginning of a beautiful nightmare. Drink more Old Style and Mai Tais you unwashed masses!

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

once, when i was Macaroni Grille, this waitress came up to me and wrote "welcome to my insanity" on the table cloth. i kind of feel like that's what the Ricketts' press conference today will be like.

Umbra said:

user-pic

I think all stories should begin, "once, when i was Macaroni Grille..."

Is that like a restaurant? Is it a chain? We don't have them here, but it seems like it could be a success in Wisconsin.

Doc said:

user-pic

There was one in madison...

It closed after about 2 years.

Umbra said:

user-pic

There was a show on PBS two nights ago that had Michael Pollan and it was bashing Monsanto. I geeked out pretty hard only to find that my roommates are unrepentant Industrial Agriculture Pesticides-or-Starvation Monoculture-supporting GMO-eating Organic-hating goons.

We split Rocky Rococo's, but I felt totally guilty you guys.

millertime said:

user-pic

How long ago did it close? I think I remember eating there one time. Was it on the west side of Madison?

Doc said:

user-pic

yeah...Greenway Station...

It closed about a year ago...there is a new Italian restaurant in its spot now.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Ricketts NPR interview, courtesy of flyball (with accompanying flyball comments):

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2009/10/chicago_cubs_ricketts_owner.html

The whole interview will be tomorrow, I'm a little disappointed that they asked about Bartman though, the second and Third clips are the better ones, Hendry staying, Lou staying if he wants, and how the team owns the adjacent land and they they plan on developing it.

Umbra said:

user-pic

They plan on developing it you say? I plan on running two miles today before putting on my Billy Mays costume.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

hey--Max is also being Billy Mays.

AWK-ward.

flyball said:

user-pic

I don't even have a costume yet, oops

Umbra said:

user-pic

It's ok- I trust Max is sporting an actual beard. It's those fake Billy Mays that we have to look out for. I was thinking of going as Billy Mays as Batman (Batman's alternate identity is Billy Mays, you see), and then "cleaning up the streets with the power of Orange Glo". But that was getting complicated, so I'm just Billy Mays.

Umbra said:

user-pic

And I'm cleaning up the streets with the awesome power of Orange Glo.

Umbra said:

user-pic

And keeping the fabric of society together with Mighty Mendit.

Umbra said:

user-pic

And hanging criminals out to dry with my Hercules Hook.

Doc said:

user-pic

So, Julie, are you dressing up as the Shamwow guy?

gravedigger said:

user-pic

I heard a lot of people were going as him. But I can see Max really pulling it off.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I wanted to be Flo from the Progressive commercials, but that would have entailed buying white jeans, which I just couldn't get behind.

So now I'm an evil fairy with a sparkly blue face and black wings.

Doc said:

user-pic

We know you are an evil fairy...but what are you dressing up as for halloween?

Doc said:

user-pic

one half hour until the press conference in which we will learn that nothing will change except ticket prices.

Umbra said:

user-pic

I think we will learn that the team will get demonstrably worse and they're raising ticket prices.

Doc said:

user-pic

And we will learn that they will continue to plan to plan out the triangle building off of Clark St, but they have no plan to actually build it.

flyball said:

user-pic

is there a place i can listen to said press conference? I need to use up some time since I only have a few hours of pandora.com left for the month

AndCounting said:

user-pic

You can watch it via Cubs.com, among other places.

flyball said:

user-pic

wow, this is really motional speakeresque, Tom Ricketts sounds so wholesome

Doc said:

user-pic

No talk of PSLs!!! Hey Tom....keep not talking about those!!

flyball said:

user-pic

ticket price question and still nothing

AndCounting said:

user-pic

I feel like this is a job interview. Kinda funny. I'm not sure he expects to get hired based on his stammering and forgetfulness.

millertime said:

user-pic

Scary movie date night: Should I rent Goonies or Ghostbusters?

Umbra said:

user-pic

Goonies.

Doc said:

user-pic

Agreed...Goonies.

flyball said:

user-pic

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Funny you should ask, the boys and I will be watching BOTH today in our annual ramp up to Halloween.

Rock Mamola said:

user-pic

Scary?? More like a bright day for the Cubbies!!

Check out my letter to the Ricketts Family...at The Rock Report on ChicagoNow.com

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/rock-report/2009/10/a-letter-to-the-ricketts-family.html

-RoCk

Umbra said:

user-pic

His sister is speaking directly into his tie.

Doc said:

user-pic

That was a cute little moment.

Umbra said:

user-pic

ROFL. They asked if Jim Hendry were to suggest that they make a transaction that will help the team immediately but would cost a lot of money, if they would give it the green light.

Cut to Not Tom Ricketts, who passive-aggressively says, "I think Jim would know better than to do that. Don't you, Jim?".

flyball said:

user-pic

they are making me like them, whats up with that?

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I know.

They remind me a lot of the kids in my family. Though had that been us, my little brother would have yanked my hair or something equally as embarrassing on national tv.

AndCounting said:

user-pic

It sounds like Ricketts was so overwhelmed with the purchase of the team, he had no time whatsoever to think about what he would do once the sale was actually complete. I don't know if I buy that excuse, but his "we'll see" answers seem to back it up. It just seems like he's completely starting from scratch with next to no plan for any aspect of the team. He keeps saying nothing's finalized, but it doesn't sound like much is even started.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I loved how he thought the question eating a player's salary in order to make the team better was a hypothetical question. Ha.

AndCounting said:

user-pic

Hopefully it will be.

gravedigger said:

user-pic

Hear, hear.

gravedigger said:

user-pic

Thank you guys for liveblogging the press conference!

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I was better on Twitter.

flyball said:

user-pic

I'm still holding out against twitter

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

i was the same for a while, but i actually love it way more than FB.

gravedigger said:

user-pic

Yeah I'm following you there too. I cyber stalk you, you know.

Leave a Comment?

Some HTML is permitted: a, strong, em

What your comment will look like:

said:

what will you say?

Most Active Pages Right Now

ChicagoNow.com on Facebook

A League of Her Own on Facebook

A League of Her Own - A Chicago Cubs Blog on Facebook