A League of Her Own

LOHO Can Be Yours! (for a small fee)

UPI POY 2008 - Sports

 

Okay, okay.

We're eliminated.

Waiting 'til next year again.

Everyone is depressed and doesn't feel like talking Cubs baseball.

I get it. Sit there and pout if it makes you feel better.

But let me ask you this: Ever wondered what it would be like to cheer for your team (a team that probably WON'T break your heart) deep into a playoff run? I know that many of us got a chance to do this in 2003, but the ensuing trauma caused me to block the entire experience out. I'm talking about the chance to cheer for a team with a real leadoff hitter. A shortstop with range that can STAY on base after he gets there. A bullpen that you actually look forward to seeing, rather than running for cover and cowering in the corner whenever your starter leaves the game.  

Ever wondered what that would be like?

Because you're about to find out.

HOW TO BID ON LOHO ON EBAY

This morning, in the hours after the Cubs were officially eliminated from the playoffs, LOHO officially went up on Ebay for postseason rental.

Yes, postseason rental.

What does this mean? Well, to be blunt, it means LOHO is whoring itself out to the highest bidder in shameless desperation to see what it feels like to cheer for a NORMAL team in the postseason. It also means that the winning bidder gets to choose what team this blog is going to root for down the stretch. We won't know what team that is until the auction ends in 7 days.

Once we have our new postseason team, this blog will throw itself behind it, with morning headlines, game threads, and all the rest. We'll even change up our banner. By the time the postseason is over, Spring Training will be right around the corner. Once "our" new team is out of the running, we'll go back to cheering for the most depressing team in sports.

Whatever money we raise in the auction will go towards financing LOHO Day next season.

Come on, guys! A chance to really root for a "real" team in the playoffs with all your LOHO pals, just like we've always dreamed of! Who's with me? 

Recommended

[?]

Recent Posts

Subscribe

Leave a comment

61 Comments

AndCounting said:

user-pic

Wow . . . way to put the "ho" in LOHO. :) My vote is for the Rockies, if I'm absolutely forced to turn tricks, I want to turn tricks for Troy Tulowitzki.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

LOL! "Way to put the 'HO' in LOHO"

Can I steal that?

AndCounting said:

user-pic

Oh yeah, that's public domain.

gravedigger said:

user-pic

Well, I like the free shipping.

Doc said:

user-pic

We are sluts.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

your point?

Doc said:

user-pic

Well, this is my first venture into sluttiness.

Do I need to dress differently or get a new hair style now?

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

You have to get all kinds of oils and lotions, you have to shag carpet and weirdo lighting. You have to get new friends, you have to orgy friends.

Doc said:

user-pic

cool...sounds fun. Since I have no friends now, I will have no emotional attachment to anyone from my former unslutty life.

Doc said:

user-pic

I am wondering if some of the other fans might look at us a a jinx.

I can see it now, a bunch of Yankee fans paying us to root for the Red Sox, just so the Sox get swept out of the first round.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Yet another angle I had never thought of. I think we really need to play to the Yankees. All the money is in New York.

KY Cub Fan said:

user-pic

This has to be the most creative idea I have ever seen!!! Pretty soon, we can start renting out Wrigley for World Series games just to see what it would look like. I do have one question for cubbiejulie, what is your pimp name?

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

I don't know. How would I find that out?

MN Pat said:

user-pic

You should send your idea to Fox Sports, indicating that you'll be happy to do an interview with Eric Karros about it. Then you can make oogly eyes at him while dropping puns about "taking one for the team."

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

that's a fantastic idea.

MN Pat said:

user-pic

I'm here to help.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Actually, I think we should involve Eric Karros in this process as much as possible.

Doc said:

user-pic

And Scarlett Johansson

Max Power said:

user-pic

You stink.

Doc said:

user-pic

WTF! No bids yet!

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

LOHO pal Caitlyn Giles tells us all about Gwen, the HOMELESS American Girl doll.

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/wee-windy-city/2009/09/the-american-girl-empire-goes-too-far-with-its-homeless-doll.html#

LOL--WTF?

KY Cub Fan said:

user-pic

If you want find out what your pimp name is, go to the Player Appreciate website below. Pretty damn funny!!

www.playerappreciate.com/pimphandle.asp

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Normally, I hate the whole pimp/ho thing, but this is for a good cause (getting a lot of people to LOHO Day next season). My pimp name is Sweet Chocolate J. Love.

Niiiiice.

Doc said:

user-pic

Hey...that's cool...

I'm Professor Truth Blume Shizzle

baturkey said:

user-pic

Mr. White Chocolate J. Gates

millertime said:

user-pic

Mine was Frank.

thisyearcub said:

user-pic

Frank "My Pimp Hand is Strong!!" Miller

secdelahc said:

user-pic

I am Devious Honey J. Tickle

Doc said:

user-pic

That seems about right.

secdelahc said:

user-pic

Why yes. Yes it does seem right.

Max Power said:

user-pic

Yeah, I got Larry. Larry the Pimp is less impressive the more you hear it, and with the t-shirt I made myself that says "I'm Larry the Pimp" I hear it a lot now.

thisyearcub said:

user-pic

I got hos, (I got hos)
In different area codes (area codes)

millertime said:

user-pic

Why ya think you take a ho to ho-tel?
Hotel Everybody.
Even the Mayor.
Reach up in the sky for the Ho-zone layer

And Here's a Ho Ho cake for your ho ho crew
and everybody want some cause
Ho's gotta eat too!

thisyearcub said:

user-pic

Every day is a ho-liday.

flyball said:

user-pic

dear fans of other teams, I do not look good in yellow and orange, and prefer a nice classic look, nothing with a lot of stuff, please keep that in mind

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Check us out on the Trib Front page:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/

Scroll down on the left!

Perkins said:

user-pic

Tigers and Yankees, in that order.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

People, please.

We are cheering for whoever pays us the most money. We can hope, nay, we can YEARN for certain teams to win, but then you guys had better get on sending out the ebay links to the fans of the teams you want to support!

Doc said:

user-pic

What is Bill Gates's favorite team...because hopefully he'll bid like a billion dollars and we can all retire early.

gravedigger said:

user-pic

The new link that says how to bid just leads back to this same page.

millertime said:

user-pic

What will this blog do once it gets it's 30 pieces of silver?

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

what are you talking about? we're going to cheer for the team that gives us the silver. then we're going to go back to being Cubs fans.
it's all very simple.

Doc said:

user-pic

yeah...it's like cheating on your wife with some gal you meet on a business trip. When the trip is over, so is the affair, and it's like it never happened.

Not that I would know about such things.

Doc said:

user-pic

The only difference is that in this case, that gal you cheat with is paying you to cheat on your wife.

millertime said:

user-pic

Julie, your response is so perfect I don't even know what to say.

Cubbiejulie? More like Cubbiejudas. Zing.

Santo-to-Soto said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

I saw this on the Trib website and couldn't believe what I was reading. Both my grandfathers lived thier entire lives bleeding Cubbie blue, one 80 the other 92, my father is 71 bleeds the same shade of blue. I am 49 and bleed blue from the palms every time they lose. I live and die for this team. I would never sell my soul and cheer for another team. When the White Sox won the WS it sickened me, and they are a Chicago team and I wouldn't root for them. Switching allegience for some post season glory, I think not. Devil you cannot have my soul, I am going to heaven when I die, and it will be in my 1968 road gray #10 Ron Santo jersey.

JulieDiCaro said:

user-pic

Oh lighten up. We're all just as big of fans as you are. We just want to have some postseason. You don't want to participate? Don't.

It's just for fun.

gravedigger said:

user-pic

Not me. I fucking hate this team. I still can't figure out why I'm a fan.

AndCounting said:

user-pic

I'm setting aside the loyalty issue for a moment. I'm genuinely concerned for the amount of bleeding going on in your family. Blue, red, orange, whatever--if you've got blood coming out of your palms after every loss, you need a hotline and a couple pints of blue O negative, stat.

secdelahc said:

user-pic

We're just looking for some fun to wile away the postseason. Obviously, we'd all prefer it if the Cubs were there, but that's not gonna happen, so let's enjoy ourselves!

jtbwriter said:

user-pic

Good afternoon from comfortable SoCal...
LOL-thanks for the noontime laugh! I think "renting" LOHO out to a worthy team like ..say...the Angels would be fun-I'm sure the Cubs will not mind! The Angels are a lot like the Cubs-inspirational, fun, lovable,break your heart almost every year- and they, unlike a lot of other teams-already clinched! Besides, wouldn't it be fun to see them make mincemeat out of the Cards, Phils or TBA?

Jimmy Greenfield said:

user-pic

Alright, my bid is in. $10 might just win this thing.

Dmband said:

user-pic

Santo to Soto-

Seriously? What are we supposed to do not watch the playoffs? Its not our fault (well maybe its MillerTime's fault a little for the undying Bradley love....KIDDING) the team is not in it. I dont really get how this is being a traitor. You cant root for a team that is NOT in the playoffs. Unless you want us to post about the Cub player's respective Golf Scores....


"If I gave you some money out of my wallet, would that make the pain go away?"

Dmband said:

user-pic

It may be a requirement for this to be an AL team though...

That seems reasonable.

secdelahc said:

user-pic

Nope. There are no rules here, except that we stand behind the winning bidder's team request. We may even have to root for the Cardinals. Or the Yankees. At least it won't be the White Sox.

Maim said:

user-pic

And remember! Rooting for a team and pretending to root for a team are nearly indistinguishable via the internet!

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

user-pic

With our lack of morals, we can easily fake it.

Dmband said:

user-pic

It may be a requirement for this to be an AL team though...

That seems reasonable.

tybstuckincali said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Just remember that even though the Cubs failed again,at leeast they sucked naturally, and did not need to cheat with steroids to suck. Therefore the L.A. Cheaters aka Manny and Los Dodgers should not be taken into consideration. I nominate the Yankees,so that if nothing else every Red Soxx fan can be reminded on their blown lead against them....

tybstuckincali said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Just remember that even though the Cubs failed again,at least they sucked naturally, and did not need to cheat with steroids to suck. Therefore the L.A. Cheaters aka Manny and Los Dodgers should not be taken into consideration. I nominate the Yankees,so that if nothing else every Red Soxx fan can be reminded on their blown lead against them....

Leave a Comment?

Some HTML is permitted: a, strong, em

What your comment will look like:

said:

what will you say?

Most Active Pages Right Now

ChicagoNow.com on Facebook

A League of Her Own on Facebook

A League of Her Own - A Chicago Cubs Blog on Facebook