A League of Her Own

Cubs Headlines For Friday: Now Cubs-Free For Your Enjoyment!

White Sox vs. Cubs

If ever there was a time to throw in the proverbial white towel and pick up the bottle, this is it.

I don't have a thing to say about yesterday's loss to the Sox, as I'm now watching purely for the love of baseball and not because I have hope for postseason play:

The Cubs? Hardly looking like they belonged in any October mix with a pair of costly errors and only six scattered hits, their fading wild card playoff hopes were nearly extinguished as they head for a series with the Mets in New York. They trail the wild card-leading Rockies by six games.

"I'm sure we would have liked to have played a little bit better," Cubs starter Ryan Dempster said. "But if you keep looking back to the missed opportunities, the odds are we're going to miss more in the future.

"We just have to worry about the game we're playing tomorrow and not worry about the one a week from now. If we can do that, crazier things have happened. We're not that far away."

Um. . .yes we are.

Do we really want to hear all the Cubs talking about how they still aren't out of it? I don't think so. I'm going to skip all that, including Ramirez talking about how he plans to play through pain. Oy.

Let's see . . . what else? Oh, Bob teed off on Milty on The Score yesterday:

"The bottom line is, just get the job done. He can point fingers and assign blame wherever he wants and laugh in the face of critics that he can swing the bat from the left side and he can stay healthy, but do it all year long, don't just do it for a month of the season and proclaim yourself the guy we were looking for. I think Milton Bradley is a much better offensive player then we've seen this year, I just think he's allowed too many distractions to get between his ears, I think he incorrectly blames everybody else for making him the lightning rod. Well if you don't want to be the lightning rod, then don't stand on the roof in a thunderstorm with a 1 iron in your hand .... Don't call it upon yourself, and I think with some of his comments, he's done that."

But, as we solved racism on our podcast Monday night, we don't have to talk about that, either.

We play the Mets tonight . . .yada yada yada. . . Lou hopes they've "fixed" Z. . . . You know what? All of this is really depressing and I don't even want to talk about it this morning. t's a short Friday before a three-day weekend! Let's focus on some websites and news stories that are good for a chuckle.

Your assignment this morning? Post a website, news story, video, etc that will make us all laugh and foget about this pathetic excuse for a ballclub. For my part, I give you the following:

Things people see at Walmart

Emails from an Asshole

And finally, the video I've gotten in the habit of watching whenever the Cubs make that vein right above my left eye start throbbing:

 

Ah . . . all better.

Your turn. . . go.

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74 Comments

gravedigger said:

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You said Cubs-Free and then talked about the Cubs. that made me sad.

Can I go into the admin panel and delete all the Cubs stuff?

JulieDiCaro said:

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it was MOSTLY Cubs-free, so no.

listen, i know you guys don't like headlines that require you to work, especially on a friday, but it was either this or talk about the Cubs.

gravedigger said:

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I'm joking. I think its great.

JulieDiCaro said:

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No you don't.

gravedigger said:

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I really do. This is fun.

gravedigger said:

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I just didn't want to hear anything about the C*** is all.l

gravedigger said:

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I love the People of Walmart site, hadn't looked at it in a few days, and the one witht he nails almost made me puke.

MacTruck said:

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Here, this should finish the job:

http://thisisphotobomb.com/tag/vomit/

JulieDiCaro said:

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EEEEEEEW!!!!
LOL. Disgusting.

gravedigger said:

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Seriously. Fucking. Nasty.

JulieDiCaro said:

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two things about the Walmart site:

1) Where do you even GET a swastika sweatshirt? and 2) is that a wooden shelf stuck on the back of that K car?

flyball said:

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I've got nothing, its Friday, its beautiful outside, and I wish I was at the beach

but anyone got a movie rental suggestion for the weekend, something not depressing, or scary

gravedigger said:

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You know what I saw recently that was surprisingly good? Lars and the Real Girl.

First I show compassion, now this, I'm not feeling myself today.

flyball said:

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oh, I think thats on demand right now too, double points for you

Maim said:

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My friend Phil was Lars for Halloween last year. He had a mannequin in a wheel chair and was "in character" the whole night. I hadn't seen the movie at the time, but when I did watch it I was super surprised at how accurate he was.

gravedigger said:

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That's such a good idea.

FrankS said:

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"Ten-inch Hero." It isn't a deep movie, but it is interesting. It stars Jensen Ackles from Supernatural.

JulieDiCaro said:

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OMG:

http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=38

laughing so hard i'm crying.

gravedigger said:

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"I bought the car from someone who replaced the original horn with a freight train horn. It is really loud and I don't recommend using it, I have caused several accidents with it."

JulieDiCaro said:

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the part about the hornet shooting out of the AC had me on the floor.

gravedigger said:

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Actually maybe the best is the part about the blood, and the "ddont let them know who I am" part. LOL

JulieDiCaro said:

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my favorite thing is still the parrot singing "the final countdown" every night at 4:00 am.

gravedigger said:

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Yes, totally agree. I seriously think I laughed for about an hour, and I couldn't work my abs at the gym later that day.

gravedigger said:

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Aww. Ernie Hartwell has incurable cancer. But the way he's handling it is actually kind of inspiring (yes, this is gravedigger typing).

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4444976

Doc said:

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One by one, the great broadcasters leave us. Ernie Harwell was right up there with the greats like Vin Scully and Joe Buck.

And now it appears likely that Vin Scully will be retiring after next season.

Too bad Marty Brennaman won't go away, though.

JulieDiCaro said:

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So no Ernie Harwell and no Vin Scully, but more Mary Brenneman?

Where is the justice?

Doc said:

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"Mary"

Ha!

MillsChC said:

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Ummmm... I'm just gonna pretend you meant Jack Buck in your example of "the greats"

Doc said:

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oops...

Um...yes. Jack. Damn. That was a bad, bad slip up.

Dmband said:

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Not funny, but I thought this was an interesting start to the college football season.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/sns-ap-fbc-t25-college-fb-rdp,0,4063427.story

JulieDiCaro said:

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I always find it funny when grown men punch each other over sports.

Doc said:

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Ok...this is almost not Cubs related...

But it's been a couple months since I have heard anything about Northwestern and Illinois trying to work out playing their football game next season at Wrigley Field. Is there any news in Chicago about them going ahead and doing this? The last I heard was that they were still trying to figure out how to safely fit the field inside the stadium.

Dmband said:

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Doc, that sounds awesome, but why wouldnt they just play at Soldiers....

Doc said:

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The NCAA has a rule against playing games inside crashed flying saucers, I believe. The that pretty much rules out Soldier Field.

Doc said:

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Last night was one of the best nights of television in a long time...

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Young Frankenstein and The Princess Bride were all on at the same time. Too bad Gene Wilder wasn't in The Princess Bride. That would have made a great trifecta.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Wallace Shawn more than makes up for it!

flyball said:

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plus it was Project Runway night

the only bad thing is the guy from Minnesota who wore a Cubs hat in the first episode (a well worn one at that) has a chinstrap beard, if he shaves I'll have my favorite designer

JulieDiCaro said:

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outlaw the chinstrap!

flyball said:

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thats what I'm saying

until then I like the guy with the shaved head from LA, I loved his first dress

gravedigger said:

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Yeah, he makes nice clothes, but needs to get over himself.

gravedigger said:

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The judges got last night all wrong.

Where's Michael Kors?!

flyball said:

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is it just me or is Nina Garcia being nicer than usual this season?

of course Padma from Top Chef is being fun snarky this season so it kinda balances out

gravedigger said:

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I never could get into the cooking shows the way I do Project Runway, and I just recently figured out why: Because I can't taste the food myself. I hear the judges say their opinion, but people have different tastes and I can't tell just by looking. I can with fashion.

Agree about Nina, she seems to have taken a step back. That's made me miss Michael Kors even more. This past episode was a love fest, even for the totally fugly stuff!

Dmband said:

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hahahahaha. Yes..that would rule out Soldier Field. And Julie is it alright to refer to the QB from Oregon as going "Big Z" on that player from Boise? If he is not going to be known for pitching, he might as well be known for something...there I go bringing up the northside baseballl sqaud again. Dammit!

JulieDiCaro said:

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i don't Z would ever sucker punch someone. he's too much of a man. you can refer to it as going "Mikey Barrett" on his ass.

Maim said:

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I just put one of those hilarious pictures of Jay Cutler that don't look like Jay Cutler as my desktop image.

(#noncubs)

JulieDiCaro said:

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yeah--there was some industrial strength airbrushing going on there. it looked like his older, hotter brother. heh.

Maim said:

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Especially that black and white one of him in the t-shirt. He looked like he should be on a roll of Bounty.

JulieDiCaro said:

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that one of him in front of the John Hancock is straight up James Spader in "Pretty in Pink."

you know. . . with a football.

gravedigger said:

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The who? In what? With a what?

Dmband said:

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I can only imagine what the other players in the locker room (i.e. Briggs, Urlacher, etc.) had to say about that Michigan Ave magazine shoot. Had to be some very good natured ribbing going on regarding that...

Me thinks Jay is doing quite well with the ladies here in Chicago though...

Maim said:

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If only he were as handsome as those pictures would lead one to believe...

But he's good at football, and I'd prefer that to handsomeness any day.

JulieDiCaro said:

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seriously.

i wish i could hire someone to airbrush out my chubby cheeks in all my photos.

gravedigger said:

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He has a seriously chubby look abotu him. Maybe he's not, but he looks it.

JulieDiCaro said:

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he looks like a little kid. he's always rumply and dirty and sweaty. even when he's not playing football. i would love to see how he showed up for that photo shoot. ;)

JulieDiCaro said:

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uh. . .i'm sure there are plenty of chicks who are all over him, but he doesn't do it for me.

Maim said:

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I'd allow him to buy me a beer.

ha.

JulieDiCaro said:

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you'd allow ME to buy you a beer. . .

Doc said:

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If Jay Culter wins us a super bowl...that might do it for me.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Dammit. Why is there bacon everywhere I look these days?

Doc said:

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Because it is just so awesome.

martisnow said:

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Want a site that will either make you laugh or vomit? Try http://thisiswhyyourefat.com or http://www.insanewiches.com both funny & revolting at the sam time!!!

secdelahc said:

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Wow! The sad thing is, none of that even looks appetizing. Except maybe the bacon cocktail glass.

gravedigger said:

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Aw, thisiswhyyourefat is down for maintenance.

secdelahc said:

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Huh? I can't open that. It's not showing up as a hyperlink.

flyball said:

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because I'm an idiot probably

Papelbon is a slowpoke

secdelahc said:

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I thought it was my fault. i'm a little slow today, due to copious amounts of alcohol consumed last night.

Remember how towards the end at ABATT some of us were drinking ALL the time? Yeah, it's worse now. I'd forgotten how much of the college lifestyle is about going out to bars.

Doc said:

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Well...I'm actually quite amazed that baseball had the guts to stand up to one of these east coast teams about anything to do with speed...

The Yankees and Red Sox are chronic slowpokes. There games have got to average about 3:45 minutes. I think it primarily has to do with Jorge Posada and Jason Varitek's inability to flash signs to their pitchers resulting in a trip to the mound before every single god damned pitch.

Baseball should just contract those two sorry franchises out of the game.

Proggy said:

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I can't believe you guys are giving up on such a special season.

COWARDS!

Dmband said:

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Steve Stone on the Score re: Soriano

"If your manager is going to accept a lack of hustle, and posing at homeplate on a hit that does not leave the ballpark, then its a little late to put the hammer down in September".

I hate him now, but he is 10000% right about that.

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