A League of Her Own

Wherein I Throw Down With Jack McDowell

ozzieface.jpg

"I am just saying. If I were Jack McDowell, I would not take this bet."

 It's that time again, boys and girls.

 Tomorrow the evil White Sox and their homophobic   manager roll into Wrigley. Luckily for us, Ozzie has already given us the details of his gastrointestinal response to our beloved ballpark, so we won't waste any time wondering about the inner workings of his bowels this week. Let's hope the visitors' clubhouse is well-stocked with flat Sprite and barf bags!

 In the spirit of competition, we here at LOHO are always looking to do our part to make the lives of White Sox fans a *little* bit more miserable. In this vein, I've thrown down the gauntlet with Chicago Now Sox blogger Jack McDowell.

The wager will be as follows: The blogger from the team that loses 2 of 3 in the series (that's me for the Cubs, Jack for the Sox) has to post the winning team's logo on their site, along with a glowing diary extolling the winning team's accolades. Losing blogger also has to buy many beers for the winner the next time Jack is in town. To that end, please feel free to send me you suggestions for the most expensive beers you can think of. I plan on ordering them all at least once.

I was going to attempt to keep this thing amicable and above-board, but then Jack had to go and bring up Mike Harkey over on his site. Accordingly, you should all now feel free to head over there and taunt Jack at your leisure.

In case you missed it, Jack has managed to incur Ozzie's wrath as well this week.  You can't fight us both, Jack! Prepare to be destroyed! And to buy me a lot of imported beers!  Your Cy Young can't save you now!

In honor of tomorrow's cross-town series, and to pass the time on an off-day, let's have Cubs/Sox moment.

Mine is easy: Watching AJ's jowels flap in the breeze as he got punched in the face. Though Sammy's 9th-inning homer at the Cell in 2000 is a close second. 

Next.

 

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66 Comments

flyball said:

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I will be watching tomorrow as my apartment becomes a battle ground between the Cubs and White Sox, friend vs friend, ex-pat North Sider vs ex-pet South Sider

so, um, I probably should go learn something about this season's team to heckle properly

Doc said:

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I know I'm the eternal pessimist...

But I fear you aren't going to win that bet.

JulieDiCaro said:

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my little leaguers play tonight and wednesday, so i'll let you know how the cubs are going to do.

JulieDiCaro said:

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my poor little leaguers are going to be split right down the middle on this one. we're 50% cubs fans, 50% sox fans.

a house divided against itself cannot stand!

Doc said:

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My favorite memory?

Last year...

First game of the Cubs-White Sox series at Wrigley (I forget the exact date)

Ramirez hits 2 hrs...including one in the bottom of the ninth off of I believe Scott Linebrink. I remember it well because it was the best Cubs/Sox game that I had attended...usually if I go to the game, it's rather boring...lopsided one way or the other.

JulieDiCaro said:

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last year at one of the games, there was a sox fan sitting in our row that was suffering from some kind of degenerative motor skills disease (i think), it was really difficult for him to get around, and we were sitting right by the steepest steps, right above the scoreboard in right field.

throughout the game, both cubs and white sox fans took turns helping him (basically lifiting) him up the steps to help him get food, drinks, to the bathroom, etc. it was very sweet.

Awwwww. Kumbaya, people,

Doc said:

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I know this is a bit off topic...but...

The Cubs record in games he starts: 18-20
The Cubs record in games he pinch hits: 2-7
The Cubs record in games he doesn't play at all: 10-3

What player am I talking about?

If we win the series, does Jack McDowell actually have to say something nice about Jenga? Oops...I just gave away the answer.

thisyearcub said:

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So, sitting Milton Bradley is going to improve the Cubs?

This is something discussed on the podcast, sometimes people say something and then for whatever reason later go, "Oh, haha, I was just joking." I just want to make sure that's not the case and you seriously mean this before posting anything else.

JulieDiCaro said:

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hey, wait a minute. what i SAID was that sometimes i take things much farther to the extreme than i really feel because it's funny.

don't make it sound like i'm changing my mind later and trying to play it off as a joke.

thisyearcub said:

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I'm trying to clarify what doc is saying, I'm talking about what I said and noticed in the past. Not all about you.

I just want to make sure that someone thinks sitting Milton Bradley is the cure.

JulieDiCaro said:

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but i don't think he's making that leap. of if he is, i think he's doing it tongue-in-cheek. whenver someone criticize's a player you like, you always jump in with "so you think this team is better off with them?"

i never understand how you get from A to B like that. ARod is completely sucking right now. do i think the Yanks are better off without him or that sitting him is the answer? of course not.

critizing the way a guy is playing doesn't equal wanting him off the team.

thisyearcub said:

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And that's why I'm making sure.

I don't know what else you could be insinuating when you post statistics like that ... so it's very easy to understand how to get from A to B.

Again, this isn't about you.

JulieDiCaro said:

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i think a lot of times people are doing just what he said: posting information. i think soriano and fukudome are sucking it up big time right now. but hell if i know what to do about it. and even last season when i was all over soriano, it never once occurred to me that we were better off without him.

thisyearcub said:

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You just don't post information. Obviously you're trying to say something. I mean, seriously.

But here's some more, to help with this fun game.

The Cubs were 14-8 when Joey Gathright played! Why did they get rid of him?!??!!?

The Cubs are 2-0 in rain-shortened games! Start doing rain dances in the sixth!

There's a great quote by George Canning involving statistics and how they can be used ...

JulieDiCaro said:

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i'm all in favor of the rain dances.

my point is that what he's trying to say might not be "we should sit bradley." it could just as easily be "dammit, why isn't this guy doing what we thought he would do?"

thisyearcub said:

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If averages/OBP/OPS/anything like that was posted, then yeah, that's a valid statement, of why he's not doing what's expected. And I agree, Bradley is hitting like crapola and performing below expectations. There's no denying that.

But that wasn't posted. It was the record of the team. That really pigeonholed it.

JulieDiCaro said:

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or, you could be wondering why the stat is an anomaly. remember that stat last year that showed how many more wins when had when soriano was out, at one point. you could just be posting something like that because it's quirky.

Doc said:

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This wasn't the point I was trying to make...but since you brought it up...

Milton Bradley was brought in to win games. That isn't happening right now. He wasn't brought in to pad his own selfish statistics and if he was, then we should be calling even louder for the firing of Jim Hendry.

Right now statistics are showing that he is not helping the Cubs win games. I'm not saying help making them lose, but the cubs are not winning with him in the lineup.

The truth is, over 162 games, things will tend to balance out. Bradley will end the year hitting about .270 to .280. He'll probably hit 13 to 17 hrs. He'll probably drive in 50 to 65. And he'll probably score about 50 runs. All which will be about his career norms.

But the thing is, with Ramirez out, Bradley hasn't stepped up. Neither has Soriano, Soto, K-Fuk or Theriot. But Bradley was brought in because, in the past when we needed someone to step up, the people we had, Lee, Soriano, Ramirez, didn't step up and in fact, it appears that the team plays better when he isn't in the lineup.

At the same time, much of his playing time has come when Ramirez has been hurt, so maybe in the end we should look at Ramirez.

Everyone knows I don't like Milton Bradley being on the Cubs. As Julie will attest, I was almost glowing on Saturday after the debacle on Friday. It has almost been too easy to rip on the guy.

So, before I start rambling (too late), the post was meant to be somewhat humorous. I tend to be a bit silly in most everything I post. And, really, it was more along the lines of "piling it on" because of the game milty had on friday.

I've contradicted myself about 12 times in this post (that's why I don't do this for a living), so I'll just shut up about Milty now...at least until the next time he does something stupid (tomorrow?).

thisyearcub said:

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I appreciate the clarification. I'm looking for Bradley to do something spectacular tomorrow. One day he'll earn your love, just like Wells will one day win over juli.

flyball said:

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what will happen first

Doc likes Bradley
Julie has faith in Wells
TYC becomes a fan of Koyie

Doc said:

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My bet is number two.

Those other two options are not just not going to happen.

Doc said:

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I will never love uncle milty.

I might respect him a little more at some point...but not love. Ok, I take that back, if the Cubs win the world series this year, I might love him. (but not l o v e him)

I, basically, need to have someone on the team to pour all of my frustration on. Last few years it was Jacques Jones, Michael Barrett, or Jason Marquis. This year it's Milton Bradley. Hopefully he won't take it too personally. He's in really good company with those winners I listed above.

oog of ulams said:

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oog really want see Bradley pad selfish stats.

flyball said:

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does oog play fantasy baseball?

Doc said:

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Yeah...good point oog...

He already has his $30 million guaranteed...so no need for that.

:)

Doc said:

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I posted similar info about Michael Barrett in 2007...

Then the Cubs traded him and the team played great for the rest of the year.

So I posted this, and now maybe the Cubs will trade bradley and we can happily go dancing into the playoffs...

Right? That will happen, won't it?

Oh.

Well, it was a nice thought.

JulieDiCaro said:

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first you have to get Z to punch Bradley in the face. . .

Doc said:

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I'm not sure what I would be suggesting the cubs to do.

I'm just posting some information that I find mildly amusing. Nothing more. Nothing less.

But it should make people think a little bit...especially if that trend continues.

Jack McDowell said:

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does that mean you don't want to get drunk on expensive beer and throw down with me?? or actually Coors Light.

JulieDiCaro said:

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i think the winner should get to pick the beer.

Jack McDowell said:

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of course winner picks...that's why I let you know what I prefer!!!

JulieDiCaro said:

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i'm going to google "most expensive beer" and see what comes up. . .

thisyearcub said:

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Julie, go with the high octane beer. Or Rogue Dead Guy.

JulieDiCaro said:

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us-italy looks about how i expected. we're down to 10 men and can't do anything once we get across mid-field.

boo.

Jack McDowell said:

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You see...only a North side fru-fru bar would have any of these "beers"...We can get the Silver Bullet at all of the best Southside dives. So, I really hope the Sox pull it off. or I might have to go shopping for some nice clothes.

JulieDiCaro said:

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i find it amusing the the fans whose stadium has a starbucks and a freakin' CARVING STATION constantly referes to the north side as "fru fru." if you mean "fru fru" in the sense that we can generally get our ballpark without the aid of an armoured car, then yes, you are correct.

JulieDiCaro said:

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we just got completely schooled by italy.

at least maybe flyball's boss will be in a good mood.

millertime said:

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Ozzie Guillen had the hidden ball trick work on him three times.

JulieDiCaro said:

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i remember a game where he got it twice in a span of about three innings. hes smrt.

millertime said:

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Things you can get at a Sox game:
1. Stabbed
2. Shot
3. Drugs
4. Coors products
5. Stabbed again
6. Vegetarian Hot Dogs
7. The Clap

Doc said:

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And I think this is the point Julie was making...

#6????

Just is messed up for that to be there with all those other things. Yet it is true.

I find it funny that The Cell has been renovated more times than wrigley field has...and it's only 18 years old.

And they changed their ball park by removing almost 10,000 seats over the years, while the cubs continue to try to find ways of adding seats into wrigley.

flyball said:

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its been 18 years already? ok, now I do feel old

Doc said:

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I think that's right...wasn't it '91 when that place opened? I don't remember, because I really don't care...but my point is valid anyway.

Jack McDowell said:

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you forgot about being able to get World Series Championship items....from your own team!

Doc said:

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ouch. Damn you Sox folk...always throwing that in our face.

Our time will come. Really, it will. Stop laughing. It will come...won't it?

JulieDiCaro said:

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i'm content in knowing that, when our time DOES come, we won't a) paste the WS trophy to the front of our '84 trans ams or b) make banners celebrating the victory out of soiled bedsheets that we hang across the streets of wrigleyville.

Doc said:

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now, Julie, please don't stereotype like that. I happen to know that there is one sox fan out there who actually owns a car made in this decade. Granted, it's on blocks right now because it was completely stripped of anything of value after he parked in outside of the Cell during a Sox game and he did steal it anyway...but that's beside the point.

and I fairly sure he washed his bedsheet before hanging it across the street. The stains didn't come out, but my point is still valid.

You just can't go stereotype everyone in a group like that. As you can see, Sox fans are a diverse group of people.

Umbra said:

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You apparently haven't seen the sweet 'Three-Finger' Mordecai Brown foam hand they sell at Wrigley these days.

waxpaperbeercup said:

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julie, i like the new digs. congrats.

JulieDiCaro said:

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thanks.

i love seeing the dress in your avatar.

Umbra said:

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Ponder: Is it possible to pad your stats without it being good for the team?

I can really think of only a very limited set of scenarios where this would be the case: suppose that there is a runner on third base and a runner on first, one out, bottom of the ninth, with Milton Bradley at the plate. He has two strategies he could possibly employ:

Strategy A. He could shorten his swing, increasing his odds of getting a single or sac fly, and decreasing the odds of striking out or grounding into a double play.

Strategy B. He could swing the bat as hard as he could, increasing the odds of a home run, but also increasing the odds of a double-play or strikeout, and decreasing his odds of not making an out.

I can understand where if Milton chose Strategy B, he could be chided for putting himself before his team, for being greedy. But I simply do not think this scenario will happen very often. Look at it like Adam Smith would: in his avarice and greed for selfish statistical padding, Milton Bradley will be led, as if by an invisible hand, to promote an end which was no part of his intention, the good of the Chicago National League Ball Club.

The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed -- for lack of a better word -- is good.

Greed is right.

Greed works.

Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Greed, in all of its forms -- greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge -- has marked the upward surge of mankind.

And greed -- you mark my words -- will not only save the Chicago Cubs, but that other malfunctioning ballclub called the USA.

Doc said:

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You sound like a Yankee fan.

Umbra said:

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You sound like a Commie. If you loved America, you'd let Milton pad his stats.

Not coincidentally is Barack Obama a Sox fan.

Doc said:

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I am anything but a commie...

and being fairly conservative and a cub fan, it was very difficult for me to vote for Obama. But I did, and I stick with my decision...as long as my generation can find a way to stick the next generation with all of our debt.

God bless America.

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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Blow up the earth? Run up the debt for future generations? It's all OK by me, as long as I don't have to go through anything difficult. I'll have no progeny to worry about.

Doc said:

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oh...damn...I have a kid now.

Well, she's smart. She'll figure some way out of this mess.

FrankS said:

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What, you think she can come up with a better Ponzi scheme than Madoff and that guy that was supposedly bankrolling Mike North's Web venture?

Doc said:

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I'm not sure it will be better...

but she's smart enough not to get caught.

gravedigger said:

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i just dropped by today, oh my fucking god, jack mcdowell posts on our blog.

Doc said:

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Well, where else is he going to post? It's not like the sox have a ton of fans, so he's really just talking to himself over there on his site.

He just thought it would be nice to chat with some people for once.

gravedigger said:

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tee hee

gravedigger said:

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but im serious. a cy young award winner, a guy who gave the finger to the yankee fans (who amongst us doesn't want to do that? and he actually got to do it to a stadium full of them). that guy. he posts on our blog.

every day i run into the likes of senators, presidential candidates, and world leaders, and it never phases me. but i log in and see jack mcdowell posts on our blog and im mr. ga-ga eyes over here.

JulieDiCaro said:

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and there you have it, folks.

gravedigger: unimpressed by obama, floored by jack mcdowell.

gravedigger said:

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i just saw john mccain, and mother fucker, that man is absolutely frightening looking up close. every time i see him i think he looks scarier and scarier.

Doc said:

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Sarah Palin is scarier...good thing she isn't in Washington.

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