A League of Her Own

Tuesday Chicago Cubs Headlines

Dude. We don't know, either

Believe it or don't, the current Cubs HR leader is  . . . Alfonso Soriano. But after him is. . oh. . . looks like Fukudome and Fontenot. But after THEM, and tied with Milton Bradley, Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee, is Ryan Theriot.

This is something we will live to tell future generations about:

When Ryan Theriot played high school ball in Baton Rouge, La., he hit six home runs during his senior season.

Until the last four days in Chicago, that was the last known power surge by the unlikely Cubs slugger.

Theriot continued to shock the baseball world Monday night at Wrigley Field, hitting his third homer since Friday in a 4-2 win over San Francisco.

I don't know about the baseball world, but he sure shocked the hell out of me. Surprisingly enough, Theriot himself was shocked into saying something relatively non-assholish:

"It's just three," he said. "It's not like it's 50, you know? You don't want to get too high or too low. This game will humble you in a heartbeat. You take the good days and you enjoy them and embrace 'em because these things can change real fast."

That's right, Ryan! And remember. . . don't think. It can only hurt the ballclub.

In other news we can't explain, Zambrano goes on the DL and the Cubs bring up a 31-year old infielder!

Third baseman Bobby Scales was called up from Triple-A Iowa on Monday to take Carlos Zambrano's roster spot, but whether he'll remain on the team Friday when Iowa's Randy Wells joins the rotation is unknown.

Still, after waiting 11 years for his chance to play in the major leagues, the 31-year-old Scales wasn't worried about his immediate future.

"This is everything you hope for when you get a chance to play professional baseball," he said. "Some of us late bloomers have to wait a little bit longer than others, but I made it, and that's half the battle."

I'm sure this is one of those feel-good stories that are supposed to make me quiver all over with happiness, but honestly, if you haven't made it through the Cubs' farm system by 30, I really would rather not have you on my team. No offense.

What was the proffered reason that Spellcheck (WHO FOR SOME REASON HAS A NO-TRADE CLAUSE!!!!) wasn't slotted for Zambrano's start on Friday?

"We don't want to mess with our bullpen," manager Lou Piniella said. "Our bullpen is starting to function."

Mmmhmmm. Also, we try not to start people who are bad at throwing baseballs.

Finally, because I know a lot of LOHO readers were concerned about Rick Ankiel:

ST. LOUIS -- Cardinals outfielder Rick Ankiel was taken to a hospital on Monday night after he injured himself making a catch at the wall in the eighth inning of St. Louis' game against the Phillies. Ankiel hit headfirst against the left-center-field wall after making a catch on a deep line drive by Phillies third baseman Pedro Feliz.

According to a statement the club released late on Monday night, Ankiel underwent X-rays and a CT scan of his head, neck and back, and all were negative and showed no fractures.

Cardinals general manager John Mozeliak said that Ankiel had movement and feeling in his arms and legs, and that according to the team's head physician, Dr. George Paletta, Ankiel never lost consciousness on the play. A club official said that Ankiel checked out as "neurologically intact" both on the field and at the hospital.

If you're into gruesome, Joe Theisman-esque injury videos, you can check out the wall opening a can of whupass on Ankiel here.

1:20 game today kids. Sean Marshall will take on Tim Lincecum, the darling of my fantasy team. Eat a good lunch and be back here in time for attendance at 1:15.



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Tracy Samantha Schmidt said:



Jimmy Greenfield said:


Very interesting.

JulieDiCaro said:


it IS interesting, isn't it?

abe frohman said:


I got a high-five in my office today. I looked quizzical, so I got an enthusiastic "three home runs!"
I guess I still looked quizzical, as I got in return "You, know. THERIOT!"
I asked to take back my high-five, which had been given under false pretenses.

JulieDiCaro said:


was it Puddy that high-fived you?

abe frohman said:


gotta support the team.

JulieDiCaro said:



Jimmy Greenfield said:



JulieDiCaro said:


Bless you.

abe frohman said:


I don't find it all that interesting, personally.

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