A League of Her Own

Five Teams I Would Rather NOT BE Than Us



Awwwwww. Buck up, little campers.

There's been a bit of panic in LOHOland lo these past few days. Not that I blame people for panicking. We are, after all, rather stinky as of late, and we are, after all, the Cubs. So I forgive all of you chicken littles out there who have momentarily taken a break from screeching about the swine flu to screech, instead, about the end of our season.

But let's take a moment to look at the facts: We're currently in (gulp) 5th place, looking up at the Cards, Brewers, Reds, and Pirates. Given our pre-season analysis (read: laughter) of those teams, how hard do you think they'll be to catch? Do you really think the Cards are going to keep going like this? Do you think the Brewers and their non-pitching staff are going to last into October> Do you honestly believe Dusty isn't going to run the Reds into the ground?

Of course you don't.

With that in mind, and with an eye towards making everyone feel better, let's take a look at 5 Teams In Worse Shape Than Us:

1. The Tampa Bay Rays: First to worst. Not only are the Rays already 6.5 games out, they're looking up at both the Yankees (still sans ARod) and the (apparently, if you believe Peter Gammons) untouchable Red Sox.

2.  The Baltimore Orioles: A game ahead of the Rays, but miles behind in terms of talent. They have even less of a chance of catching the BoSox and Yanks. And Brian Roberts alone isn't enough to make me want to watch them play baseball. Plus, Andy McPhail is running the show, so you know in which direction that ship is headed.

3. The Washington Nationals: 7.5 games out and a front office that thinks Corey Patterson is worth taking a flier on. No thank you.

4.  The Houston Astros: The only team in the NL Central currently playing worse ball than we are. And that's some bad baseball, my friends.

5.  The San Diego Padres: A hot start only makes the inevitable fall harder. Plus, they believe in Mark Prior.

Guess what, kids? As bad as we've been, we're still at .500. FIVE HUNDRED. Imagine where we'll be when we start hitting the ball! So teeth gnash and protrate yourselves in grief if you must, but just know that, come September, I'll be telling you all "Told ya so."



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