Can you spell "free drinks"?
Boystown watering hole,
Scarlet, will be making good on yet another of their new year's resolutions: going back to school. Scarlet's Friday night theme parties this month will focus on 4 resolutions, tonight being 2 of 4. Scarlet employee, Rob, says of the event, "Our host Chip will be challenging people to a spell different words. If the patron spells it right, they get a shot or a drink or something. It's fairly informal, but adds to the fun. I think we may have a nun (or person dressed as such) there to spank you if you get it wrong."
I am in love. It is so rare that one is rewarded for displaying redeemable life skills or any form of intellect with alcohol at bar events. Cheers to you, Scarlet, for not encouraging the usual buffoonery and hooliganism. And I am mostly excited because I can already smell the sweet eau de victoire.
I have a secret for you. I kick ass at spelling. I will dominate you.
Poster courtesy of Scarlet's Facebook page
When I was in grade school, I got 100s on every single spelling test I ever took. Except one. It was in second grade. I was one of those kids that would rapidly scrawl the word upon dictation without nary an eraser streak or a second guess. I would obsessively cover my answers so the dumb kids couldn't cheat off of me. So while the teacher was repeating the word five more times for the derelicts who hadn't studied or weren't as gifted as I, I would often lose focus and stop paying attention. And one time, I paid the price.
Mrs. Welde announced the word "swimmer," and not paying attention, I wrote "swimming" down on my paper. The following week when we got our tests back, I saw something horrible. Missing were the rounded zeros and the smiley face stamp I was used to seeing on my paper.
Welling up with tears and indignant, I marched up to Mrs. Welde's desk and stated my case. While I had not correctly written down, "swimmer," I did write a verb form of "to swim" and furthermore spelled it correctly. Mrs. Welde wasn't a fan of my bratty 2nd grade self, so she was definitely not going to do me any favors. She spun it into some life lesson of the importance of listening. Defeated, I slinked back to my desk. Nearly twenty years later, I have still not forgotten the shame.
Tonight's domination in the spelling competition is dedicated to you, Mrs. Welde, for shitting on a 2nd grader's delicate ego.
The event starts at 8, but Rob tells me it won't really get poppin' til 10 or 11. Come out and take me on. I promise I will beat you. Featured appearances will be made by
the Game, as well as Downtown and Kentucky Bourbon.
Disclaimer: while Scarlet is generally populated by the boys and their hags, they do have several lezzies on staff, in addition to a devoted fan base of lesbians (myself, the Game, Downtown, and Kentucky Bourbon). Rob assures me that Scarlet's Liquid Brunch on Sundays (a daytime party from 1 to 8) has a growing girl subset. Scarlet is also interested in doing a Saturday girl party, the planning for which we hope to participate in tonight. More details to follow.
Scarlet is a kick-ass space though, so if you haven't been, come check it out and let the nun tan your ass.
1 Comment
Mia said:
Loving this...next time I'll have to go with you and spell my tits off.
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