Originally I was going to title this something along the lines of, "Lose your parents around the holidays?" But then I realized that I would probably get a lot of readers looking for a space where they could talk about the hardship of the holidays after having lost a parent to cancer.
Man would they be disappointed to find that this was just me trying to figure out who the old straight couple rolling on E in early December was.
Did your parents go missing sometime before Christmas? Maybe even before Hanukkah? If so, I found them. And I have the video to prove it.
Missing: parents?
a Chicago-based lesbian searching for her dignity
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They were dancing at Wild Pug. By themselves.
And your dad is one bad mamma jamma. He dropped his drawers and kissed a Christmas ornament with his balls. Don't believe me? Watch the video.
Your mom, on the other hand, had some pretty sick moves. Despite being 54 years old and under the influence of something way stronger than anything sold at the bar, she had more rhythm than most, if not all, lesbians.
To make this a teachable moment, I've distilled the near hour of video footage I captured of them into 10 distinct moves that you, the reader, can learn and reenact for stunning results.
Rollin at Wild Pug from Lavender Menace on Vimeo.
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1 Comment
usedtobeyourfriend said:
Are you trying to offend someone specifically or any of the many friends of yours who has lost a parent?
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