Etiquette Bitch

« Health club etiquette part two Mad props to the polite »

New year, new you...

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Notice how these excellent yogis are not blocking each other? Excellent. They were all early for class, too.

...and how 'bout some new manners to go with that bitchin' workout routine you're starting up?

This time of year, gym membership swells. Some newbies will stick to their resolution to attend Cardio Funk twice a week, some will overdo it with Yoga for Contortionists, then quit; and some will work out consistently, then slowly fade away (and turn into my friend Larissa, who loves to brag that she goes to The Upscale Gym, although she hasn't set foot inside it since 2007).

Are you attending fitness classes, or planning on it? Read on. There's a reason why us religious class-goers call the newbies "New Year's Resolutioners" and sneer. Do the following, and we'll be nice:

Four Tips for Good Gym Etiquette, Newbies:

  • Arrive early for class. Not at the minute it starts. Not five minutes into it. Early. Latecomers disrupt those who had the courtesy to get there on time. Working out with cold muscles is never a good idea - you'll injure yourself, get pissed off, and quit your exercise routine.
  • DO NOT join class late -- ever, for any reason. Newbie or ol' veteran, when you join late, you distract those who are focused, in the groove, and following the routine. Your sitter was late? You couldn't find parking? Too bad. You didn't plan, so don't punish the rest of us. Hit the elliptical for 30 -- I promise there's another class tomorrow.
  • Speak up if you've never done this before. Introduce yourself to the instructor prior to class start. He or she will not instinctively know you're new, and don't expect him/her to coddle you just because you can't follow along with the commands, "Grapevine!" and "Upright Row!" An early introduction means they can explain the finer points of Cardio Waltz to you.
  • Be unobtrusive. Stagger your floor position. That is, don't plop yourself directly in front of someone who arrived earlier. See those mirrors around the room? Some people use those to monitor their form. You just blocked someone. Now move.
Tomorrow: More dos and don'ts for the gym.
Wanna quick tip? Follow me on twitter. Oh yes, I'll bitch about clueless gym-goers, there, too.



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maybeimamazed02 said:

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As a faithful dance class attendee, as well as someone who not only attends a yoga studio religiously but works part-time at one, I thank you for this post. Only January 4th and already the "resolutioners" are annoying me.

EB said:

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Ditto. I hear ya. Hang in there...things will be back to normal in 3-4 weeks, history has shown.

Stephanie said:


as an instructor, I loved this article! Laughable yet so, so true. Thanks for the words to the wise.

EB said:

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You're most welcome!

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