You're Ron Turner, you run the Bears offense. Right now, you lead the nation in one category. And what category might that be?
Take a bow if you responded with the following answer: absorbing close and medium range bullets.
Turner is a symbol of what's charmed me about the Bears for over five decades. The Cubs and Sox generate opinions. The Bears generate hositlity and the kind of anger reserved for your half drunk brother in law on Christmas Eve.
Bears deserve all the hostility you can give them
So, Team Lovie won a crappy ballgame last Sunday over a rotten
collection of Cleveland Browns. A game so abysmal the Anti-Cruelty
Society should have been put on notice. And really who cares if the
Bears are still very much alive for a playoff spot with a card of 4 and
3.
Listen, the fifth floor at City hall can give us the hired trucks scandal, and gosh only knows how many other cons, hustles and snow jobs and we accept this routine as a typical day in the life of beloved Mayor 2016.
You see, the Bears are expected to perform at a significantly higher level than Mercedes Benz. For gosh sakes, they covered against the Browns. What do you want free airline tickets to Akron?
So Turner is the week's designated scapegoat Why? Because the bulk of our limp wristed media wouldn't dream of blaming consistent red zone failures on "Pretty Boy" Jay Cutler. The guy who's had season tickets to the Bears since 1952 could never look around the NFC North and say, son of a gun, there are at least six wide receivers - Calvin Johnson, Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, Bernard Berrian, Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin who just happen to be leaps and bounds better than Devin Hester, our local go to guy.
But, take note, Hester is complimented by Earl Bennett, a pass catcher who's just about as heart stopping as a 2002 Toyota. Blame Turner for a crap shoot, mostly crap, offensive line constructed by Jerry Angelo.
Time out. I hate negativity. Here's the play for you point-spread degenerates. Sunday, take the Bears and lay the 3 versus Arizona and parlay that with the over. If I'm wrong and its far better than even money I will be, just remember YOU never bet the Bears with your head anyway. You always bet the Bears with your heart even if you don't realize it.
A round of applause for Major League baseball. MLB gave us five World Series games that lasted at least 3:25 minutes each. Nothing says fun like Jorge Posada going out to whisper to Andy Pettite. Not to mention about 26 tight shots per game of Charlie Manuel. Or Johnny Damon scratching his crotch.
Here's the drill. You're going on a two week vacation wth Fox analyst Tim McCarver. What would you possibly talk about after you dicussed the merits of the cut fast ball, foul line umpires and just who really is the best drag bunter in the National League?
Hey, every time you bum rap Ron Turner recall the glory days of John Shoop.
Listen, the fifth floor at City hall can give us the hired trucks scandal, and gosh only knows how many other cons, hustles and snow jobs and we accept this routine as a typical day in the life of beloved Mayor 2016.
You see, the Bears are expected to perform at a significantly higher level than Mercedes Benz. For gosh sakes, they covered against the Browns. What do you want free airline tickets to Akron?
So Turner is the week's designated scapegoat Why? Because the bulk of our limp wristed media wouldn't dream of blaming consistent red zone failures on "Pretty Boy" Jay Cutler. The guy who's had season tickets to the Bears since 1952 could never look around the NFC North and say, son of a gun, there are at least six wide receivers - Calvin Johnson, Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, Bernard Berrian, Sidney Rice and Percy Harvin who just happen to be leaps and bounds better than Devin Hester, our local go to guy.
But, take note, Hester is complimented by Earl Bennett, a pass catcher who's just about as heart stopping as a 2002 Toyota. Blame Turner for a crap shoot, mostly crap, offensive line constructed by Jerry Angelo.
Time out. I hate negativity. Here's the play for you point-spread degenerates. Sunday, take the Bears and lay the 3 versus Arizona and parlay that with the over. If I'm wrong and its far better than even money I will be, just remember YOU never bet the Bears with your head anyway. You always bet the Bears with your heart even if you don't realize it.
A round of applause for Major League baseball. MLB gave us five World Series games that lasted at least 3:25 minutes each. Nothing says fun like Jorge Posada going out to whisper to Andy Pettite. Not to mention about 26 tight shots per game of Charlie Manuel. Or Johnny Damon scratching his crotch.
Here's the drill. You're going on a two week vacation wth Fox analyst Tim McCarver. What would you possibly talk about after you dicussed the merits of the cut fast ball, foul line umpires and just who really is the best drag bunter in the National League?
Hey, every time you bum rap Ron Turner recall the glory days of John Shoop.
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