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Will the real St. Patrick's Day please stand up?

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Amalie Drury

It's my job to write about Chicago and all of its people, places and things. If it's new and it's cool, I'm checking it out.

There are miles and miles of endlessly sprinkled, technicolor-green grass in Palm Springs, and staring at it as I lounge by the pool shall be my ode to this overhyped holiday. You see, I'm on vacation. It's the first time in my nine Chicago years that I have missed St. Patrick's Day, the bead-tossing, beer-guzzling, river-dying, midday-puking excuse for debauchery that, truth be told, I've never much understood. I mean, I do like having a reason to wear my green "Gettin' Lucky in Kentucky" T-shirt once in a while, but the fact is that I'm an American. German of descent but really just 100% American now, and not one iota Irish. So don't bother kissing me, I guess. 

Still, I'm not completely missing out on the action here in Palm Springs (a country club celebration is planned for later this evening). A series of texts from my Chicago associates since the city entered full St. Patrick's mode on Saturday have kept me apprised of the situation: 

From John: At Mad River. Post-collegiate hell. Hope girl doing worm on beer-slicked floor doesn't remember it tomorrow.

From Mark: Wearing green v-neck sweater at Casey Moran's. Surprisingly not bad. Good people-watching. Girls' bathroom flooding...gross. Happens every year. 

From Melissa: Ugh. Can't stand to go out. Drinking Guinness at home.

From Tim: They're always after me lucky charms!!!

Apparently, the party continues tonight. It is, after all, the real St. Patrick's Day. The Cedar Hotel will open its patio for the first time this season at 2PM and serve up $5 Guinness and $5 Jameson until 2AM; the rooftop at ZED 451 will have rubens with green 'kraut and Guinness stew; the Hunt Club is offering Irish Three-Way quaffers (bomb-style drinking glasses with two bulbs); and Cityscape has concocted an Apple Pucker and Irish whiskey martini called the Leprechaun Spit. Has anyone ever seen a leprechaun spit? Not me. I've never even seen an actual leprechaun, but I've always disapproved of public spitting. 

More St. Pat's specials at both Irish and completely non-Irish bars:  

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