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High Heels, Hot Cheese & (more) Haughty Bouncers: Tips & tricks from a weekend's events.

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Amalie Drury

It's my job to write about Chicago and all of its people, places and things. If it's new and it's cool, I'm checking it out.

Front bar at The Bluebird.

The Bluebird

I stayed in last night for the first time in weeks, and, scarcely knowing what to do with myself other than watch Dancing With the Stars and Gossip Girl, I did just that. It was satisfying, from the Duck Walk tofu pad Thai to the moody Gossip Girl opening sequence set to my favorite Rihanna song of the moment, Rockstar 101 (feat. Slash)

But, since this blog is all about going out, I also dutifully reviewed my notes from the weekend, searching for Chaser-worthy tales with which to regale the universe. Herewith, a few recent bits of advice: 

1. If you go to see the just-opened Matisse exhibit at The Art Institute, do not wear your four-inch patent-leather party heels. Those marble hallways kill. But, do try to experience the exhibit during an event featuring an open bar. 

2. If you later proceed to the California Clipper for a friend's birthday party, only dance during the slow songs, particularly if someone has a camera and you are still in the party heels.  

3. If you work full-time as a bouncer at the Empty Bottle and can prove as much, still do not attempt to enter the Clipper if your I.D. has snapped in half. You will be told to exit immediately, as in: "Get. The hell. Out." (Thanks to new friend Brian for this tip.)

4. If you are The Chaser, jot a reminder in your notebook about the Chicago location of Beauty Bar opening in the old Sonotheque space this Wednesday (as in, tomorrow). (Thanks again to Brian for this update.) I went to Beauty Bar in L.A. once, in 2000. I was barely legal. I hung out with some pseudo-celebrities and got my picture taken with them. I thought it was the hottest thing ever. See evidence in slideshow below. 

5. If you attend a dinner party and unexpectedly find yourself seated next to someone who is your ultimate boss and whom you have only met face-to-face on one other occasion (the day of your interview), delicately steer the conversation to that always-charming topic, suicide. This will demonstrate your knowledge of current events.

6. If, late-night, you go to Bluebird on Damen for someone's PhD party, order a side of mac 'n' cheese with your Bulleit bourbon. Gooey. Steamy. Divine. Also, do not--and herein lies a shameless plug, for the artist is a friend--do not miss the tape drawing installation by Alex Menocal in Bluebird's back room. It is cool beyond coolness. If you are suitably bewitched, come to dinner on April 11 and hear Alex explain why tape on walls is his thing. See you there. 

7. If it is a Sunday afternoon and you've just spent a few hours shopping for rulers and you're in the market for a midday beverage, try Cody's Public House in Lakeview (1658 W. Barry Ave.). It is a true neighborhood kick-back kind of place--cash-only--and on a sunny Sunday, you're likely to have the pool table all to yourself. 

Meanwhile, there's no rest for the weary. Tonight I'm off to witness the considerable talents of my friend Graham Kostic and others at You Inspire Me Too (Part 2), an ongoing variety show fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society that's always tons of fun (totally casual, $10, all are welcome).

After the last such performance I was turned away from nearby Schubas due to lack of I.D., and it made for one of the most controversial Chaser posts ever. Will I reattempt the scenario with my shiny new duplicate Illinois driver's license in hand? Only time will tell. 







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2 Comments

Kristin said:

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I love, love, love that your photo features a blonde Abby from NCIS. So excited for Beauty Bar Chicago. Also, this blog post is perfection.

Amalie Drury said:

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You're so smart, Kristin! Pauley Perette. At the time I met her, she was a regular on a short-lived Jennifer Love Hewitt drama--"Time of Your Life"--which I watched religiously.

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