Fire Lovie Smith

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'Twas the Night Before Lovie Smith was Fired

Mike Burzawa

Die hard Bears fan and lead blogger at Bear Goggles On

This Fire Lovie Smith thing is really creeping deep into my subconscious.  I had the craziest Christmas dream last night...

'Twas the night before Bearsmas and up at Halas Hall,
Not a creature was stirring, another offensive stall.

The helmets were hung by the lockers with care,
In hopes that a new coach soon would be there.

The players were huddled in meetings all day,
As dreams of the playoffs faded farther away.

Jerry in his office, Lovie in his Traditions B cap,
Had just settled down for a late-season nap.

When out on Football Drive there arose such a clatter,
They sprang to the window to see what was the matter.

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But a torch-bearing mob drawing nearer.

The angry mob charged forward, like out of a myth,
The chants only grew louder - FIRE LOVIE SMITH!

When out of the Hall bearing her pappy's name,
Virginia appeared and she was doing the same!

"Out Lovie, out Turner, out Babich and Toub,
Pack up your shit and don't forget Jerry Angelo!"

Throwing the challenge flag, Lovie felt spurned,
But in typical fashion, this call would not be overturned.

"We get off the bus running and play Cover-2,
It's not just my defense; what about all the picks Jay Cutler threw?"

Jerry protested and made a desperate plea,
"I bring in great players, so quit blaming me."

But Virginia stood firm and re-stated her case,
"You traded for Gaines Adams and brought us Orlando Pace!"

So the coaches headed out, all stripped of their power
While Virginia picked up the phone to dial up Bill Cowher.

Lovie turned back exclaiming in his Big Sandy drawl,
"Rex is our quarterback, Merry Christmas to all!"

So what did I miss?  I would love to get a few more verses to bolster up this little Holiday masterpiece and have a copy wired to Halas Hall.  Shoot your suggestions into the Comments section.




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Matt said:



lindemrm said:


now now, Toub is a still a great special teams coach. He can stay. EVERY OTHER coach/coordinator/assistant, etc MUST GO.

Mike Burzawa said:


I had to throw Toub in there with the rest of the bunch. There's no way that he stays if everyone else goes.

John R. Schmidt said:


Years ago, the Cubs fired their manager and went to a system of rotating "head coaches." Maybe that's what the Bears need now.

Mike Burzawa said:


I think it was called the College of Coaches. How many World Series did that maneuver bring the Cubbies? I don't know if even something so desperate could save them.

coachpryor said:

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As a life long Bear fan I was taken back by the past 7 games they have played. No enthusiasm on the team, head hanging, laughing and a don't give a **** attitude. That all comes from the coach! He stands on the side-line motionless as if he is oblivious as to what is going on. Ron Turner...are you kidding me! He was horrible at the U of I. So many alumni celebrated when the door hit him in the fanny. In fact let's clean house entirely, start over. First of all hire Bill Cowher or Mike Shannahan. Either of those two will light a fire under all the players, and if they don't perform their A***** will be traded or released. Let's go Bear ownership.

Lauren Strec said:


This is beautiful.

IrishSweetness said:


Marinelli and Toub have to stay - why would you fire either of them ? I'd love to see Joe Bugel come in and sort out the O-linemen ...

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