Find the Tiger Woods reference in here!

The Chicago media just dumbly stood around and asked him if he took it without any follow-up questions like "did you use a number two pencil? do you know what a number two pencil is? if you took it, who did you give the test paper to? one of your brothers? is the test even taken on paper? do you know? but there's a good reason he wasn't asked any follow-up questions. because it doesn't matter.)

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It's looking more likely that the Cubs will move their spring training site to Naples, Florida (Phil Rogers in the Tribune),  and that has got to be good for major league baseball. It means there will be a bidding bar. Just like the one between the Sun-Times and the Tribune for columnist Rick Morrissey. Only this will involve money. Watch for other teams to start the migration back to Florida.. It would be nice if other teams showed their gratitude to the reverse pioneering Cubs by making at least one offer to take Milton Bradley off the Cubs' hands.

Shifting back and forth from Arizona to Florida is kind of like when you have a terrible cold and your nose is stuffed up. So while you try to sleep you shift over to the other side so that the stuffiness transfers from one nostril to the other.  The point is that you're trying to get some sleep. Which is what spring training is all about.

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Curtis Granderson hit 30 homeruns last year, and he played in spacious Comerica Park. Imagine what he would have done in Wrigley Field. Um, he wouldn't have hit 15 if the Cubs moved their games to Thillens Stadium. It wouldn't have been the pressure of playing in his hometown. Wrigleyville isn't his hometown. Lynwood, a south suburb, is. It just would have been being on the Cubs. Granderson would have been just as likely to develop a hop when he caught the ball in the outfield as he would have hit 30 homers as a Cub. He's better off in a low-pressure environment like New York, where they won't be as hungry for a world championship because they just won one.

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The Blackhawks won again last night (2-1 in overtime over the Rangers), they're phenomenal and could win the Stanley Cup this year. I almost started paying attention to them when they won eight straight, but now they're going to have to compile a winning streak higher than the number of bimbos Tiger consorted with to grab my attention because there's only so much sports time in a day. And it's going to be difficult to top Tiger.

But just as soon as the Hawks make it to the second round of the playoffs, I'm there. Or if they're playing a game on New Year's Day at Thillens Stadium.

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For the 99.99% of us who like to see Notre Dame lose, the attention paid to the coaching search is annoying. And now it's just plain dull. Notre Dame is going to go with a guy who was successful at a lesser school. How ordinary. Where's the cocky attitude that made the Irish go for a high school coach like Gerry Faust? Or even an NFL offensive coordinator like Charlie Weis? Brian Kelly is just like any other candidate at any other school.  People are trying to make an issue of the fact that he's pro-choice on abortion (which puts him in line with most of Notre Dame, which did make President Obama a commencement speaker). One possible hang-up: he's anti-calculus, or whatever high school course requirements Notre Dame imposes on recruits. But, buddy, if you don't like academic requirements, coach football at Cincinnati. Or basketball at Memphis.