Tivo "30 Rock," watch at 9 p.m. Thursday after Bears' first half blowout loss

Players available to the Bears:

Larry Johnson -- released by the Chiefs. Latest incident was a gay slur he made. He's old and he's had a hard time behind a lousy offensive line. Matt Forte is young and has had a hard time behind a lousy offensive line. Johnson would be a terrible fit here but he'd probably flourish in Cincinnati.

Michael Vick -- might be available next year. Doesn't like situation in Philadelphia. Is not needed by the Bears, but remember after the Bears got Cutler that Vick was mentioned because you always need a proven backup when you're in contention. Well, the Bears aren't in contention, and they need just about everything except a quarterback, and even if they needed a quarterback Vick wouldn't be the one because he doesn't seem to have it anymore.

Lawrence Taylor -- was arrested for a misdemeanor traffic accident. No one was hurt. The Bears pass rushers don't hurt anyone these days.

Tommie Harris -- should be the freshest Bear for the quick turnaround Thursday game in San Francisco. Was actually ordered by Lovie to keep his uniform on after he was ejected so he wouldn't risk pulling something by taking shoulderpads off,  and he didn't need to shower since he didn't break a sweat. He can keep the uniform on. It's only a couple of days 'til the upcoming game.