Letterman staff quits over Tiger Woods Top Ten
The entire writing staff of the David Letterman show has quit over a Top Ten list that Letterman has written himself and plans to read on his CBS-TV show tomorrow night.
"Forget about the fact that he's micromanaging the show and trying to do our job. It's his prerogative to oversee the operation," said an unnamed writer. "But the list just isn't funny."
Tentatively titled "Top Ten Stories Tiger Woods is Giving to the Cops," the list includes such excuses as "Let he who hath not sinned cast the first stone," and "Why don't you leave the young couple alone? Don't you know how hard it is when you've been married only a few years and you have a young child or two, and there are the pressures of being in the public spotlight?"
Said the unnamed writer, "That second list item violates every Top Ten principle. It's not pithy. That second joke is two sentences, the second sentence being practically a run-on. The Top Ten is sacred. Like the Ten Commandments. It's supposed to do unto others as you would never have others do unto you."
The writer said that it's not uncommon for the staff and Letterman to haggle over what should be on the Top Ten list but that the breach over the Tiger Woods list was irreparable. Every comedic line the staff suggested was rejected by Letterman.
One of the rejected lines in the staff's version of "Top Ten Stories Tiger Woods is Giving to the Cops" was "If you had a drab, ugly wife named Regina whom you finally married after having her hang around you for two decades, you'd want to knock yourself unconscious by crashing into a fire hydrant, too."
This is not the first time Letterman has clashed with his writing staff over a Top Ten list. In 1994 Letterman did not touch the O.J. Simpson case ("because he was a fan," said a writer) and actually allowed the lame Jay Leno to make some headway in the late night wars. And in 1997 Letterman didn't touch the Marv Albert cross-dressing scandal because Albert was a friend.
Meanwhile, the Golf Channel's new "Late Night with Gary McCord," is expected to make hay with the Tiger controversy. Some of McCord's jokes for tomorrow night have been leaked to the website TMZ, which reports McCord will be saying such things as "Hey, Tiger's wife is getting a little long in the tooth. Even Jim Nantz is running around with a woman Tiger's wife's age now."
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7 Comments
Shakes the Clown said:
Those crazy golf groupies will be knocking a bitch out to get a chance to sit on that McCords 'stash'!
donz5 said:
Good one! Considering that the Late Show is in long-ago-scheduled repeats this coming week.
What other reliable exclusives do you have about the show?
KansasGirl said:
Hey Letterman, that's racist.
Maybe said:
That article is crap. Dave hasn't seen any of his writers since taping the Tuesday show. The Wednesday show was taped on Monday. Next week is a dark week for Dave and reruns are scheduled. Here is the schedule for next week.
Mo 11/30: Tom Hanks, (R 10/29/09)
Tu 12/1: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, (R 11/2/09)
We 12/2: Kid Scientists, Amanda Peet, the Cribs (R 11/12/09)
Th 12/3: Tina Fey, Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, Mika (R 10/14/09)
Fr 12/4: Al Gore, Brad Paisley (R 11/3/09). Next time do a little real research!
Bruce Wolf said:
i hope the tina fey interview is the one i recently reported on in my blog in which she says she really admires sarah palin because beneath that funny fey exterior lies a chubby little girl who wishes she had the barracuda in her that palin has. say hello to dave for me when you commune with him.
Apres Ski said:
Bruce, you have a better chance of saying hello yourself when Tina's in Chicago . . .
Apres Ski said:
Bruce, you sound good on Smooth Hanukkah. I"m listening to it right now & I'm glad there aren't many commercials. So far, I like the station.
Will it be on all year like the Christmas station that plays Christmas music all year???
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