John McDonough, Dale Tallon Archives

I am taking Rocky Wirtz's age qualifications to be a vibrant contributor to society and the business community to heart. By the late 50s if you are not yet burnt toast, Rocky opined in picking up 22 years by switching from Dale Tallon to Stan Bowman, you are at least showing some unsightly mold around the edges.

With my 60^th birthday approaching in September, that leaves me with two options under Rocky's strict credo, especially if I forget to mail my bills on time or sign a backup free agent goaltender to a 4-year, $22.5 million contract due to senility.

Become a senior adviser or suicide. The end result is the same. You just disappear, never to be heard from again. Only suicide is quicker and less painful.

Senior advisers are not all the same, however. Scotty Bowman turns 76 in September and his advising duties are in demand more than ever. That's because his son, Stan, has made the old man vital again. He ostensibly requires the old man's knowledge to be fresh and cutting edge, to assure all those promises of success under Tallon don't evaporate and cause Martin Havlat to go to the Minnesota Wild DL with a sore wrist from all his Twittering.

Sources revealed to me Tuesday night that National Hockey League teams apparently will still try to outshoot, outscore, outhit, outhustle, outskate, outmuscle, outsave and outshine the Blackhawks next season.

But if they try to outthink them, then I fear they're lost. Pity the poor dopes that truly think they ever can be intellectually on a par with president John McDonough's brainy nerds. The Blackhawks have become the smartest guys in the room.

Of course, there is a documentary by that name already, about some fellas from a company called Enron. They continue to pay for their unmatched intelligence, serving another 10 to 20 years in their new think tank.

So when the Blackhawks release their Stanley Cup championship reflections, they will have to think of another film title just to be safe..

No problem in the least.Stan Bowman, who introduced himself to Chicago fans Tuesday in his first press conference as general manager as "a serious guy" with "an analytical mind," can whip out his calculator and have any number of titles ready in minutes.

Just wait until he gets his hands around that bulging salary cap, which is looking like Kirstie Alley on Ho Hos.

"I like to process things," he said before almost apologizing for having a smile on his face. He assured everyone that isn't normal and Blackhawks fans can relate to that.

It took less than two months to prove that Blackhawks president John McDonough might not always mean what he says. Shocking, I know, but please try not to faint on me here.

What about the rumors that you and Dale Tallon have conflicts and he could be replaced as general manager?

"There is no reason to characterize that as an issue," McDonough told ChicagoNow as June began, obviously believing no one reads the damn thing, anyway, and I'll humor the idiot.

Wow! Holy Hull!  If you will excuse me for saying so.

Not one given to much personal screaming and hollering, unless it involves my 401K, if you can't be raised off your seat by this turn of events, you don't have a pulse.

I guess Blackhawks president John McDonough wasn't kidding a couple weeks ago when he told us that he expected "less than an overhaul, more than a tweak" this offseason. He was understating his real goal--to knock Chicago fans on their ass more effectively than Dustin Byfuglien did an opponent at any point last season.

Signing high-energy winger Marian Hossa on Wednesday to a staggering 12-year contract worth $5.2 million a year was a further sign that McDonough, owner Rocky Wirtz and general manager Dale Tallon mean business on West Madison St.

Talk about raised expectations. Anything less than a Stanley Cup finals appearance next season will be a disappointment. That's how far the Hawks have traveled in such a short space of time.

The years of monkey business appear well behind us. As much praise as McDonough, Wirtz and Tallon already have garnered for quickly renovating this once-downtrodden organization, acquiring Hossa will bring renewed calls for this Holy Trinity to be elected to early sainthood.

Hossa didn't have a good championship round this year for Detroit, one reason the Red Wings allowed Pittsburgh to pull off a stunning comeback and a Stanley Cup steal. But Hossa was dynamic against the Blackhawks in the Western Conference finals and is one of the National Hockey League's most dynamic skaters and producers.

Talk about giddy-up-and-go. Hossa can go from here to there in the blink of an eye, one reason he has 719 points in 775 regular-season games over 11 seasons. United Center will have more jump than ever with him around.

The Hawks will be Hossa's third team in three years, but considering that he is coming off years with Pittsburgh and Detroit, he gives the club the kind of clubhouse experience that should bode well for a long time to come.

The Hawks are one of the NHL's elite once again. What an exhilarating feeling that is for the fans.

To replace Martin Havlat with Hossa is like trading in a Buick for a Porsche. Havlat's a steady offensive presence. Hossa is a stud.

Like a boy named Sue, Marian has had to fight for his good name all his life. But we all remember Marion Morrison, aka John Wayne.

Hossa will be the Hawks' Duke, firing from all angles. And it should be one tremendous ride to remember.

John McDonough has seen this movie before. It didn't turn out like "Hoosiers." More like "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

So when the Blackhawks president goes on the rubber-chicken speaking circuit this summer, he will offer much more than blind hope after his young and promising team made it as far as the Western Conference finals. He offers a warning.

"There are no guarantees," McDonough said. "When I've had speaking engagements, I have used the example of the 1989 Cubs."

Twenty years after the '89 Cubs won the National League East with a 93-69 record, made it into the league championship series before losing 4-1 to San Francisco and created a belief that a World Series title was within easy grasp, McDonough is hoping that sordid history of unmet expectation won't repeat on the West Side of Chicago after the Blackhawks lost 4-1 against Detroit in the conference finals.

McDonough was in marketing with the Cubs back then. He remembers the exuberance of a future where Mark Grace, 25; Shawon Dunston, 26; Greg Maddux, 23, Jerome Walton, 23; Mitch Williams, 24; Ryne Sandberg, 29; Andrew Dawson, 34, and Rick Sutcliffe, 33, would combine the vitality of youth and the wisdom of experience to be a powerhouse for years to come.

The next four years, the Cubs finished fourth in the division and the franchise never won a division again until 2003. McDonough isn't saying that's the future that he envisions for the Hawks.

"But it's a lesson for all of us,'' he said. "The '89 Cubs never won again."

Blackhawks president John McDonough issued assurances on Monday afternoon that all the conspiracy theorists percolating out there that see a management rift developing between him and general manager Dale Tallon can put down their speculation and move on.

He stressed that Tallon's job is not in jeopardy, as some critics have suggested it might be. As organizational meetings convene Thursday and Friday to break down what worked, what's needed and what stays put, no one need fear that the opening salvo will be a different voice in the player evaluation seat.

The plug will not be pulled on Tallon, who has a year left on his contract.

"There is no reason to characterize that as an issue," McDonough said.

But McDonough suspects he knows how all the underyling talk got started that Tallon might be expendable. Since Denis Savard got the quick hook as coach early in the season, there has been a death watch on the next body to fall.

McDonough blames his reputation as "Dirty Harry," ready to gun down any obstacles to get where he wants to go.

"Any time a new president comes on the scene, it can happen," McDonough said. "Maybe my reputation of being very aggressive and very assertive added to it. Dale's approach is a little different, but he gets the job done."

McDonough obviously needed to explain what "a little different" meant before the conspiracy theorists attacked on a new front.

"Dale's laid back and an easy-going guy," McDonough said, pointing out without saying so that no one has ever accused him of harboring those characteristics. "So I think some misrepresented it as a rift in the organization when there wasn't.

"My coming to the Blackhawks was a shock to some. It was a different way of doing things, a change in the playbook. Not being patient, but being very aggressive."

He obviously needed time to watch Tallon at work, but likes what he sees.

McDonough wouldn't engage in the specifics about whether Nikolai Khabibulin has to be cut loose for salary cap reasons, among other reasons, and Cristobal Huet anointed as the No. 1 goalie. But whereas Tallon said no drastic changes were required, McDonough gave his view of the offseason to come a different spin.

"I would think the franchise is not going to stand pat," he said. "I don't think an overhaul is needed, but more than a tweak We are going to hear from a lot different voices Thursday."

That will give Hawks fans hope for a substantial change or three. More experience seems to be needed, be it on offense or defense. Let's hope the additions are impact players, not just add-ons.

"Less than an overhaul, more than a tweak," McDonough repeated, warming to the idea. "If that makes sense."

It will, as long as more than a tweak becomes reality and not just a lost slogan. McDonough has given the Blackhawks more than a tweak so far. There's every reason to trust he will do more.