1) I like that I can get sundaes at the Cell;
2) Ozzie has managed to make it to the end of June without using a racial or homophobic slur (in public);
3) The Sox didn't offer to sell the game to the Cubs (as far as we know);
4) The Sox were able to fill their park (for once) for the crosstown series;
5) AJ's jowels didn't flap as much as usual;
6) I give credit where credit is due, Ozzie DID help get rid of Jay Marriotti;
7) The Sox's latest "next big thing" shares his name with a far more talented and much better-looking footy star from across the pond;
8) The number of stabbings inside the Cell was way down this weekend;
9) The Sox have taken a public stand against employment discrimination against the elderly by bringing back Scott Podsednik; and
10) So far, no member of the Sox has been accused of throwing the 2005 World Series.
Ta-da!
The End. (Keep reading for Blackjack's response!)
Well if that's how we're gonna play it, I may as well post my Cubs diary for the weekend as well.
1. Even though his start ended up in an 8-7 loss, Ryan Dempster avoided the wrist twist DL
2. Milton Bradley stayed consistent
3. Geovany Soto finally removed his homemade "watering can" bong from the backstop in the second inning
4. Cubs announcers were thrilled to report the oddity of Fox flying out 5 times to CF in a game
5. Many Cubs "fans" still showed up to Wrigley because it is "the place to be...right?"
6. Lou Piniella joined in on the heated attendance battle
7. Rich Harden's ass stayed off the TV screen
8. The Cubs' "next big thing"...oh yeah, forgot there isn't one
9. Cubs fan thrilled Ozzie is listening to Hilary Duff's new PSA
10. Big Z shows why they are called the Cubs (ie babies) rather than Bears
]]>BTW, when was the last time the Cubs WON a World Series? BWAH! Let's blame some fan in left field for their woes because they don't know how to close down an inferior opponent. Or maybe a goat...
]]>
Come on, the thing about AJ's jowels was funy. Admit it.
]]>we need an edit function on these posts.
]]>Hey, this is a good place to ask this question: what is it EXACTLY that Hawk wants me to "strap down?"