Baby daddy drama: Don't get involved
Dear Mel,
I have been talking to this boy for almost a month. We really like each other but there is one problem, he has a baby. I know I can accept him and maybe the child but no the baby's mother and him. I know plenty of women that have kids that have a baby to keep a string attached to the boy. The only thing I worry about is when she calls him he has to leave and be there for her and I'm pretty sure they could have sex anytime, that's the effect baby mothers have. My bestfriend says I'm insecure and I have to trust him. I can trust him but with that situation, trust is not a factor. So I told him I don't think we should talk anymore. I feel so bad cause I really like him and he feels the same. I know I've made a mistake but my mind was just focusing on me coming 3rd place in his heart when I can come first in another boy's life. Please tell me how you feel about this it's always nice to hear advice from a person that doesn't know me... Please be honest...
-3rd Place in His Heart
Dear 3rd Place in His Heart,
Okay, I'm going to be frank with you here.
Third place is two places too far.
If you're going to get serious with a guy, you should come first. Not third. This situation sounds like way too much drama for a girl like you to handle. What if the baby's mom doesn't accept you? What if she tries to break you two up? There are just too many strings attached to this guy. You certainly don't need to get all tangled up in it.
Besides, you don't love him, right? So, before you have a chance to suffer a broken heart, back off now. It was a wise decision to tell him that you aren't going to talk to him anymore. Good call.
I'm sorry if this isn't the advice that you want to hear, but I really think you should stay away from this boy. Why be third place in a guy's life when you can be in first? Seriously. Trust me, there are plenty of other boys out there. Don't waste your time with this one.
-Mel
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4 Comments
Jen said:
If she really likes the guy then she should be able to date him... Who cares about being 3rd place if she likes him a lot?
TimH said:
Actually, I agree with Mel. It's a bad idea to become involved in this little love triangle. That would be weirrrrddddd.
Mel said:
Yeah. So weird.
Mich said:
She may think she's OK with being 3rd place, but trust me, she won't be forever. If this guy goes running everytime the woman calls then he isn't the right one because the "like a lot" doesn't run both ways.
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