Arresting Tales

Police work: the naked truth

Here's something they don't tell you when you attend your orientation to become a police officer:You're going to be seeing a lot of naked people, and it's not going to be pretty.  It's a truism in law enforcement, as in life, that the people you are most likely to see naked are usually the people you least want to see naked.  Outside of strip clubs (and sometimes even there) naked people generally fall into some combination of three categories: scary,...

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Skylers Dad said:


Oh come on now, who among us hasn't applied hemorrhoid cream, naked, in front of an officer, at the courthouse?

Anybody else?


Jackie Tithof Steere said:


LOL. I was going to ask how you remember all that, but I guess those are words you'd never, ever forget.

Joe the Cop said:


I had that one committed to memory within minutes of it happening, and it stayed with me for these past 17 years or so.

Moshucat said:

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This stuff is better then Weenie Wavers........

Joe the Cop said:


Glad you enjoyed it! I'm only sorry I couldn't somehow work the story about the Gurnee woman who assaulted a cop with a vibrator into the post.

irishpirate said:


The comments in the Gurnee post are priceless.

Rigid Feminine Pleasure Device: Credit Card.

Also on that site I searched for "Chicago" and found that in 1970 Bill Murray was busted at O'Hare for having ten pounds of weed. Plead down to a misdemeanor and got probation.

Reminds me of a relative of mine who led a fairly unaccomplished high school burglary ring around the same time. They specialized in Walgreens drugstores and stealing cigarettes and alcohol. He plead down to "theft of a toaster" and got a years probation. Or so the local newspaper said.

MarianneSp said:

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BA HA HA! The last insult is indeed a keeper!

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