Arresting Tales

Happy Thanksgiving! Don't burn your garage down with a turkey fryer

Happy Thanksgiving! 

I'd like to thank everyone who has stopped by, and especially those of you who've taken the time to comment here.  I've learned a lot, and I really enjoy our exchanges.

I got a lot to be thankful for.  Sure, there's all the usual stuff you're supposed to be thankful for if you've got it--a beautiful and supportive family, health, a job, a roof over my head.  What I'm talking about is being thankful for having a job that allows me to do some good occasionally.  It doesn't happen much, but when it does it's a blessing.  To me, being called to do work that others find difficult, dangerous or unpleasant is a gift, and I'm thankful for it.  I've been honored to work with good men and women, and there's nothing so inspiring as watching people rise to the occasion and do the shitty jobs that no one else wants to do.


_______ 

That's enough of that sentimental stuff.  Let's get on with the real purpose of this post, and that's to warn you all about the dangers of the holiday.

My calendar year is marked by the unique safety threats posed by each holiday.  July 4th is fireworks casualties, Halloween brings candy tampering and unsafe costumes, and soon enough we'll be facing Christmas, with its space heaters, malfunctioning decorative lights and horrible Christmas tree fires.  But Thursday is Thanksgiving, and that means one thing: turkey fryer disasters.  According to the NFPA, Thanksgiving is the peak day for cooking fires.  My extensive research, backed by overwhelming anecdotal evidence in the form of YouTube videos, newspaper clippings, and poorly-remembered sensational TV segments that my mom tells me about, show that turkey fryers are probably responsible for 97% of these fires.

It struck me that operating a turkey fryer bears more than a passing resemblance to running a clandestine meth lab.  Both operations involve open, unregulated burners, and the presence of volatile liquids--bubbling hot oil in the case of the fryer, and substances like ether, ammonia and tricloroethane in the meth lab.  Both operations are often located in spaces like garages, carports and sheds, and the operators are frequently impaired.

So, finally, my Thanksgiving gift to you.  Because I believe strongly in promoting safety, I have some public service announcements to help you have a safe and hopefully conflagration-free Thanksgiving.









Important lessons: don't let a radio personality fry your turkey near your sofa, don't let a firefighter cook your frozen turkey in an overly-full fryer, and don't let your tweaked-out middle age parents cook meth in your kitchen.


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8 Comments

Skylers Dad said:

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The radio DJ cackling like a little girl is what really makes that video.

Jim said:

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You forgot to include one of the public service announcements that Fire Marshall Bill Yarrow used to do.

dude said:

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Park your car on the street so when the garage burns down you'll still have your ride.

Joe the Cop said:

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Dude, you're right--after all, you can live in your ride, but you can't drive your house.

Moshucat said:

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Unfortunately, I have to be at work for 4 hours today because the Stock Market is open til noon. Thanks for the very helpful but oh so funny tips.........

Wendy C said:

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I can't imagine anyone wanting to use those hot oil turkey fryers, they scare the hell out of me. If you want to cook a turkey outdoors, marinate it first, then smoke it over some wet fruitwood for about 12 hours, finish off in the oven. Yum!

I'm thankful for all of our public servants; police, firefighters, and educators (my profession), have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Joe the Cop said:

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Wendy, thanks for the comment. I lack the patience for slow smoking, unless there's pig meat involved. I'll cook a pork shoulder for 12 hours, but when turkey's involved, I love the fryer. I've been using one for years with only minor injuries.

Moshucat said:

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Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for making it such an interesting 2010. Still have to work Friday but June is approaching.

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