Crimes against meat, a scary clown and a mannequin fetishist: it's Weenie-Waver Wednesday!

Crimes against meat lead off Weenie-Waver Wednesday

Joe the Cop on 08.11.10 at 8:50 AM | 7 comments |

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio Than are dreamt of in your philosophy -William Shakespeare, "Hamlet"

This week's Weenie-Waver Wednesday starts off with two meat-related crimes (insert pun of your choice here), then follows with a scary clown and finally winds up with a mannequin fetishist.

Let's get started. Remember to vote for Freak of the Week after the gallery!

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Mr. Jenkins, of Canton, Ohio, was arrested after <a href="http://www.fox8.com/news/wjw-news-man-arrested-urinating-steaks,0,5343411.story">he was caught urinating on steaks at a local Walmart.</a> Reports don't indicate whether drugs or alcohol were involved, but the whizzing occurred at 1:30 AM. Draw your own conclusion.
Lorenzo was arrested after he approached a woman customer while he was working the meat counter at the Louisville, Colorado Safeway. Lorenzo asked the woman if she was "finding everything". <a href="http://www.kdvr.com/news/kdvr-meat-counter-trial-txt,0,3531067.story">He was masturbating at the time.</a> Safeway supermarkets: "you can't beat our meat!"
Cottrell, freak, <a href="http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/news/state/ohio-man-exposes-himself-to-kids-at-lemonade-stand">exposed himself to a bunch of kids running a lemonade stand to raise money for their church.</a>
These offenders are always more entertaining when they have a middle name like "Clyde". Mr. Jackson was found by police who were investigating a possible burglary at a warehouse. There was no burglary--<a href="http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/070510-worker-found-naked-in-warehouse">just Jackson, getting some work done. Naked. Drunk.</a> Helpful tip: if you tell the cops your identification is in your truck, make sure your weed isn't in there with it.
In another example of why some stereotypes persist, street clown Velazquez <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/clown-busted-sex-attack">was arrested, in clown makeup, for sexually assaulting his stepdaughter.</a>
Closer to home, the man pictured here <a href="http://www.westfrankfort-il.com/default.asp?id=199">is wanted by the West Frankfort Police Department according to their website:</a> "On 07/21/10 at approximately 4:00 a.m. a white, male subject was captured by video surveillance as he entered the American Classic Inn, 1001 Factory Outlet Drive, West Frankfort, IL. The male subject proceeded to remove all his clothing and began to masturbate. The subject walked around the entire hotel, nude and masturbating for approximately one and a half hours."
31-year-old Dye is not a weenie-waver, but the complexity of her psycho-sexual drama is worth noting. Dye, of Franklin, Ohio, <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/07/07/2010-07-07_patricia_dye_ohio_woman_posed_as_14yearold_boy_to_score_with_teen_girl.html">was arrested after she pretended to be a 14-year-old boy named "Matt" so she could have sex with a 15-year-old girl.</a>
Mr. Campbell, of Belle, West Virginia, is evidently both a mannequin <i>and</i> an amputee fetishist. He <a href="http://www.dailymail.com/policebrfs/201008080399">was found "sitting shirtless on the bench with his pants down around his ankles and a mannequin with no arms on top of him...touching himself with his right hand and moving the mannequin with his left hand."</a>

Robert T. Jenkins

Mr. Jenkins, of Canton, Ohio, was arrested after he was caught urinating on steaks at a local Walmart. Reports don't indicate whether drugs or alcohol were involved, but the whizzing occurred at 1:30 AM. Draw your own conclusion.

7 Comments

Moshucat said:

My vote is for Mr. Eddie M.Campbell. At least it wasn't crime against PERSON?

Posted on August 11, 2010 7:54 AM

Skylers Dad said:

And the crowd begins to chant "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie..."

Posted on August 11, 2010 12:42 PM

Jackie Tithof Steere said:

I voted the lemonade stand guy. Poor little kids.

Posted on August 11, 2010 1:39 PM

irishpirate said:

I can't decide how to vote.

This is just a plethora of perversion.

Now the Patricia Dye incident does appeal to my baser instincts. She looks a bit like Kim Darby from "True Grit". Which brings up the idea of what John Wayne as "Rooster Cogburn" would do with these miscreants.

Posted on August 11, 2010 2:05 PM

Joe the Cop said:

Thanks. Now I have a vision stuck in my head of John Wayne putting Patricia Dye over his knee and spanking her. I didn't need that.

Posted on August 11, 2010 3:54 PM

irishpirate said:

I'll add to your nightmare.

http://cariart.tripod.com/Kim_Darby.jpg

Anyway, I'd rather the Duke spank Patricia than that clown freak.

Posted on August 11, 2010 7:02 PM

Wendy C said: